As di Nyu Ia de kam nia, yu de fain se yu de tink tins laik, "A no fit mek plenti moni laik a bin want...", "A trai to los weight dis taim, bot a no fit...", "A no get di promoshon we a bin want, a trai fo get nyu wok, bot i no wok out tu...", "A no fit eva improv..." Yu fain se yu de blem yu sef fo tink tins laik dis? Infakt, pan ɔl we sɔm pipul dɛn kin luk fɔ trowe pati ɛn mek Nyu Ia rizɔlt as di ia de kam dɔn, ɔda pipul dɛn kin luk bak pan di ia we dɔn pas ɛn rigrɛt di tin dɛn we dɛn nɔ bin ebul fɔ du. Dis kin rili kɔmɔn.
If yu dɔn gɛt sɔm kayn pwɛl hat sik, mɔr lɛk dis tɛm pan di ia, fɔ tink bɔt de pas ia dis kayn we kin mek yu situeshɔn wɔs. So tide, mek wi tok abaut wai wi de fain se wi de so self-kritik as di Nyu Yia de kam, and hau to ovakom di ‘New Year’s Blues’ dis taim tu.
Wetin mek wi kin jɔj wisɛf lɛk dis we di ia dɔn?
Fɔ tɔk am simpul wan, i nɔmal fɔ luk bak pan di ia we dɔn pas ɛn tink bɔt wetin wi dɔn du. Akɔdin to sayɛns masta sabi pipul dɛm, i nɔ wɔnda wi de du dis dis tɛm. Jɔs tink se, ilɛksɛf yu opin di TV, redio, ɔ go ɔnlayn, program dɛn lɛk ‘Year in Review’ ɔ "Events of the Year" de ɔlsay. So we di midia de mɛmba wi bɔku tɛm bɔt wetin bin apin ɔlsay na di ia, wi kin luk bak pan di ia we dɔn pas na wi layf bak we wi nɔ no.
Dɔn di tɔk bɔt "Nyu Ia rizɔlt" bigin. We wi de tɔk bɔt nyu tin dɛn we wi dɔn disayd fɔ du, wi nɔ go ɛva tink bɔt di tin dɛn we wi nɔ ebul fɔ du. We wi tink bɔt tin dɛn lɛk "A want fɔ lɔs mi wet," "A want fɔ lɛ a vɛks smɔl," "A want fɔ wok tranga wan," wi kin pe atɛnshɔn pan wi wikɛd tin dɛn.
Apat frɔm ɔl dis, sɔntɛm yu fɛstival sizin (lɛk Epril Ful De ɔ Krismas) nɔ bin de ɛnjɔy yu lɛk aw yu bin de op. Sɔm pipul dɛn kin blem dɛnsɛf fɔ dat bak. If yu dɔn ɔlrɛdi strɛs ɔr pwɛl hat, yu go de pe atɛnshɔn mɔ pan di tin dɛn we yu nɔ ebul fɔ du ɛn tink se yu nɔ ebul fɔ du natin lɛk dɛn tɛm ya, pas fɔ luk pan di tin dɛn we yu dɔn du.
Di kɔnekshɔn bitwin di abit fɔ ‘rumination’ ɛn dis sɔri-at
If yu si se yu de fil bad mɔ ɛn mɔ bay we yu de tink ɔltɛm bɔt di ia we dɔn pas ɛn fil bad bɔt am, yu kin gɛt wan maynd abit bak we dɛn kɔl ‘Rumination’ .
Fɔ tɔk am simpul wan, rumination na di akt fɔ tink bɔku tɛm bɔt di sem prɔblɛm ɔ ivin, wɔri bɔt am, ɛn stɔp insay wan saykl fɔ tink ɛn nɔ kam wit sɔlv. I tan lɛk kaw we de rumin, de tink di sem tin bak ɛn bak. Risach dɔn sho se dis abit kin bɔku pan uman dɛn pas man dɛn.
Risach pan pipul dɛm wae gɛt di abit fɔ ‘rumination’ dɔn fɛn tin dɛm lɛk:
- Bɔku tɛm, dɛn pipul ya kin yuz bad we dɛn we dɛn gɛt prɔblɛm. Dɛn kin blem dɛnsɛf bak we nɔ nid fɔ tink ɛn tink bɔt di tumara bambay.
- Rumination ɛn pwɛl hat kin go togɛda.
- I impɔtant fɔ no usay yu nid fɔ stɔp dis saykl fɔ tink. Ɔlman kin tink di sem tin te to sɔm mak. Bɔt if yu no se fɔ tink dis kayn we nɔ de sɔlv ɛnitin, ɛn i de mek yu fil bad mɔ, bɔt yu nɔ ebul fɔ stɔp am, na de di prɔblɛm de.
- Pwɛl hat kin mek dis ‘rumination’ sityueshɔn wɔs. If yu kin kech pan dis saykl fɔ tink we yu dɔn ɔlrɛdi fil bad, yu go jɔs mɛmba di wɔs tin dɛn we gɛt fɔ du wit prɔblɛm.
Rumination ɛn pwɛl hat tan lɛk pɔyzin miks. Wan de fid di ɔda wan. Di prɔses so intatwin dat sɔmtɛm i kin at fɔ no uswan bigin fɔs.
Aw a go fri frɔm dis saykl we a de tink bɔt tin dɛn we de mek a fil bad?
If yu si se yu dɔn stɔp fɔ tink bɔt dɛn tin ya we di ia dɔn, na sɔm advays dɛn ya frɔm masta sabi pipul dɛn fɔ ɛp yu fɔ kɔmɔt na da tin de.
| Plan | Wetin yu fɔ du |
|---|---|
| Pripia bifo tɛm (Anticipate) . | If yu dɔn gɛt dis apin bifo, nɔ wet te di ia dɔn fɔ ridyus am dis ia, bɔt mek plan bifo tɛm. Tink se, "Dis tɛm a nɔ go mek dɛn tin dɛn de kɔntrol mi." |
| Insted of "Wetin mek mi?" tink "Wetin mek dis apin?" | We sɔri tin dɛn kin kam, bifo yu tink bɔt di tin dɛn we yu nɔ ebul fɔ du, jɔs tink bɔt wetin mek di tin dɛn we yu nɔ bin ebul fɔ du bin apin di we aw dɛn bin apin. Lan frɔm am ɛn go bifo. Tink se, "Wetin mek dis de apin to mi?" go jɔs mek yu at pwɛl mɔ ɛn mɔ. |
| Shift insay akshɔn | Bifo yu fil bad, aks yusɛf: “Wetin na di smɔl tin we a go du fɔ chenj dis tin?” Start fɔ du dɛn smɔl smɔl tin dɛn de. |
| Distrakt yusɛf. | We yu si yusɛf insay dis saykl we yu de tink bɔt bad tin, grap ɛn go waka, go na jim, ɔ tɔk to yu padi. Yu fɔ bigin fɔ fil fayn insay 10 minit afta yu dɔn du yu bɔdi. I nɔ kin izi fɔ tink bɔt tin dɛn we de mek pɔsin fil bad ɛn du tin dɛn di sem tɛm. |
| Bi patikyula tin. | If yu de set Nyu Ia rezolyushon, insted of tink big laik "A go bi beta pesin dis yie," set smol, spesifik gol. Fɔ ɛgzampul: Insted fɔ se "A go stɔp fɔ ala pan mi pikin dɛm" ɔ "A go lɔs 20 pawn," tink bɔt sɔntin we smɔl, we pɔsin kin du lɛk "A go briŋ frut frɔm os di de we di ɔfis de gi donut." |
| Tink bak bɔt wetin yu bin de op fɔ | Chek if wetin yu de op fɔ rili bi. If dɛn nɔ rili bi, dat nɔ min se yu fɔ giv ɔp pan di gol. Bifo dat, brok da big gol de to smɔl smɔl stɛp dɛn. Dɔn yu kin ebul fɔ ajɔst am izi wan. |
If pan ɔl we yu de fala dɛn advays ya, yu stil gɛt prɔblɛm fɔ kɔntrol dɛn kayn sɔri filin ya, nɔ sɔfa yu wan ɛn wɔri bɔt am. I rili impɔtant fɔ go to yu famili dɔktɔ ɛn tɔk bɔt dis. I kin ɔndastand yu sityueshɔn ɛn if nid de, i kin sɛn yu to saykayatrist ɔ advaysa. Mɛmba se, jɔs lɛk aw wi kin go to dɔktɔ we wi sik na wi bɔdi, i nɔ go ɛva bad fɔ go to pɔsin we sabi du in wok we wi de fil bad.
Mɛsej we dɛn kin kɛr go na os
- As di Nyu Ia de kam nia, na nɔmal tin fɔ tink bɔt di ia we dɔn pas. Bɔt fɔ tink bɔt dɛn tin dɛn de ɛn fɔ blem yusɛf nɔ fayn.
- ‘Rumination’ na wan mental abit wae nɔr fayn fɔ de tink ɔltɛm bɔt di sem prɔblɛm wae nɔr gɛt sɔlv ɛn fil sɔri. No dis ɛn tray fɔ brok am.
- Tu pan di bɛst we fɔ brok dis saykl we yu de tink bɔt tin dɛn we de mek yu fil bad na fɔ du sɔntin ɛn fɔ pul yu maynd pan sɔntin.
- Bifo yu sɛt big gol dɛn we yu nɔ go ebul fɔ du fɔ di Nyu Ia, sɛt smɔl, patikyula gol dɛn, ɛn we yu go ebul fɔ du.
- If dɛn filin ya tu bad fɔ kɔntrol, nɔ sɔfa yu wan, bɔt fɔ tru, go to dɔktɔ to advays.
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