Yu pikin de hang out wit di ‘set’ na skul? Mek wi tok abaut dis (Clique)!

Adu! As yu pikin de ol, fɔ gɛt padi dɛn kin bi sɔntin we rili valyu to am, nɔto so? Fɔ go bifo pas di famili ɛn mek dɛn yon sɛt fɔ padi dɛn rili impɔtant fɔ dɛn divɛlɔpmɛnt, dat na fɔ mek dɛn gro as indipɛndɛnt pipul dɛn. Dɛn padi biznɛs ya go ɛp dɛn bɔku fɔ mek dɛn gɛt gud padi biznɛs we dɛn go abop pan tumara bambay. Bɔt sɔmtɛm, dis ‘sɛt ɔf padi’ kin divɛlɔp smɔl difrɛn we, ɛn sɔmtɛm na we we kin mek prɔblɛm. Na dat wi go tok abaut tide, speshali, `(Clique)` grup dem. Nɔ fred, lɛ wi tɔk bɔt dis di we we wi ɔl go ɔndastand, simpul wan.

Wetin na di difrɛns bitwin grup fɔ padi ɛn ``klik''?

Okay, fos mek wi bi klia di difrens bitwin jos wan grup of padi dem we de get togeda and wetin wi de kol ``klik''. If wi ɔndastand dis kɔrɛkt wan, i go izi fɔ wi fɔ ɛp pikin dɛn.

Bɔku tɛm, padi dɛn kin kam togɛda bikɔs ɔf tin dɛn we dɛn lɛk . Tink bɔt am as grup we de ple di sem gem, pikin dɛn we de na di sem klas, pipul dɛn we de na di sem neba, ɔ famili kɔnekshɔn. Pipul dɛn we de na dɛn kayn padi grup ya gɛt fridɔm fɔ tɔk, ple, ɛn spɛn tɛm wit ɔda pipul dɛn we nɔ de na da grup de. Dɛn nɔ de pul dɛn kɔmɔt na di grup ɔ pul dɛn kɔmɔt na di grup bikɔs dɛn du dat. No lɔ nɔ de we se una fɔ du ɔltin togɛda. I rili nɔmal ɛn i gɛt wɛlbɔdi.

Bɔt dis `(Klik)` na smɔl difrɛn, rili tayt-knit, smɔl tayt-knit grup . Bɔku tɛm, dɛn kin gɛt dɛn yon lɔ ɛn we fɔ biev. Sɔm pan dɛn lɔ ya, dɛn tɔk am klia wan, sɔm dɛn tɔk am klia wan. Dɛn kin du bɔku tin dɛn togɛda. Bɔt di men prɔblɛm we de ya na dat dis kayn `(Klik)` nɔ bil pan kɔmɔn valyu, gud aidia, ɛn biliv bɔt fɔ ɛp dɛnsɛf. Bɔku tɛm, dɛn men gol na fɔ protɛkt dɛn `(Status)` ɛn `(Popularity)` . Fɔ ɛgzampul, pipul dɛn we de na wan `(Klik)` kin tink se dɛn ``superior'' pas ɔda pipul dɛn, ɔ dɛn kin tray ɔltɛm fɔ sho se dɛn `(Klik)` ``big'' pas di ɔda wan dɛn. Dat min se, kɔmpitishɔn kin de bitwin dɛn ɔltɛm.

Wai wi pikin dem wan join `(Clique)` laik dis?

Naw yu go mɔs de tink se, ‘Wetin mek na dis wɔl pikin dɛn kin lɛk fɔ go na dɛn kayn say dɛn ya we tin kin stɔp ɛn we gɛt prɔblɛm?’ Nɔto wan rizin nɔmɔ de fɔ dat, bɔku pan dɛn de. Mek wi tek wan luk pan dat.

• Di want fɔ bi pɔpul: Fɔ sɔm pikin dɛn, fɔ bi ‘pɔpul’, fɔ bi ‘kul’ na di impɔtant tin fɔ dɛn. So, i tan lɛk se dɛn ‘klik’ ya na ples fɔ gɛt sɔshal stetɔs, dat na, fɔ aksept ɔda pipul dɛn na skul. Dɛn kin tink se, ‘If a de na da grup de, ɔlman go rɛspɛkt mi.’
• Fɔ fred fɔ de yu wan:Sɔm ɔda pikin dɛn kin jɔyn dis bikɔs dɛn kin fred se dɛn go lɛf dɛn, dɛn wan, ɛn lɔs. Dɛn kin tink se, ‘O, i bɛtɛ fɔ mek dɛn put mi na di grup, if nɔto dat, a go de mi wan.’ Dis na tin wae kin fil mɔr fɔ pikin dɛm wae kin fil smɔl.
• Want fɔ kɔntrol ɔ fala: Sɔm pikin dɛn de we lɛk fɔ kɔntrol ɔda pipul dɛn, fɔ fos wetin dɛn want, ɛn fɔ mek ɔda pipul dɛn lisin to dɛn. Fɔ dɛn kayn pikin ya, dis `(Clique)` na gud ples (fɔ bɛtɛ ɔ fɔ wɔs). Dɛn kin kɔntrol dɛn tin ya bay wan ``Lida`` . Na di lida de disayd udat fɔ de na di grup ɛn udat fɔ de na do. Bɔt dis kin tan lɛk gud tin bak to pikin dɛn we lɛk fɔ fala di lɔ dɛn, we lɛk fɔ lisin to wetin ɔda pipul dɛn se, ɛn we kin fred smɔl fɔ disayd fɔ dɛnsɛf. Bikɔs, de, dɛn kin tɛl dɛn klia wan se ``wetin fɔ du''.

Bɔt, di strenj tin na dat, sɔntɛnde ivin rili kayn, pɔpul, ɛn talɛnt pikin dɛn kin kɔmɔt na dis `(Klik)` ɔ dɛn nɔ kin aksept dɛn na di grup. Di rizin fɔ dis na bikɔs di pikin in pɔsin ɛn di kɔnfidɛns we i gɛt fɔ insɛf kin bi trɛtin fɔ di lida. Di lida kin tink se, ‘Dis pikin nɔto pɔsin we de lisin to mi, i go difrɛn pas mi.’ Ɛspɛshali if pipul dɛn lɛk di pikin ilɛksɛf na in wangren de, dis kin apin mɔ. Sɔntɛnde, di lida kin tɔk to di pikin in padi dɛn fɔ jɔyn di `(Klik)`, bɔt dɛn nɔ kin tek di pikin we pipul dɛn lɛk. Dis na tin bak we rili sɔri.

Wetin mek ɔda pipul de lisin to wetin di lida fɔ `(Klik)` de tɔk?

Okay, nau mek wi si wai di oda memba dem fo dis `(Clique)` de lisin to evritin we di lida de tok. Na rili sɔntin we dɛn kin du bikɔs dɛn na padi, bikɔs dɛn lɛk di lida? Ɔ yu tink se ɔda rizin de?

Mɔs tɛm, di mɛmba dɛn na di `(Klik)` de fala di lida in lɔ dɛn ɛksaktɔli. I kin bi, ‘Wi fɔ drɛs lɛk di de bifo’, ‘Wi fɔ wɛr di de afta’, ‘Wi nɔ de tɔk to pipul dɛn di de afta’, ‘Wi kin jɔs du dɛn kayn tin ya’, ɛn ɔda tin dɛn Dɛn `(Klik)` ya kin gɛt bɔku lɔ dɛn, we dɛn tɔk klia wan ɔ we dɛn nɔ tɔk . Dɔn bak, bɔku `(Pressure)` de fɔ fala dɛn lɔ dɛn de ɛksaktɔli. I de mek pipul fil se ‘If wi ɔl du dis, na yu nɔmɔ nɔ go ebul fɔ chenj’.

Infakt, bɔku pan di mɛmba dɛn kin gɛda rawnd di lida, nɔto bikɔs dɛn rili bi padi, bɔt na bikɔs dɛn want fɔ protɛkt dɛn ples na di grup.

Pikin dɛm we de na `(klik)` kin wɔri ɔltɛm bɔt tin dɛm lɛk, 'A go stil bi pɔpul na dis grup?', 'If a du sɔntin we nɔ rayt, se sɔntin we nɔ rayt, ɔ drɛs we nɔ fayn, di grup go lɛf mi?' Dis na sɔntin we kin rili mek pɔsin strɛs bad bad wan . Di pikin kin fred ɛn dawt ɔltɛm.

Ustɛm prɔblɛm kin apin bikɔs ɔf `(Klik)`?

fכ bכku pikin dεm, dεn kכl di tεm bitwin tεn εn ettin ia 'preteen' εn 'teenage'.Na tɛm we yu de tray fɔ no udat yu bi, aw yu want fɔ fit insay di sosayti, aw yu want fɔ difrɛn, ɛn udat yu bi. So, i rili nɔmal fɔ mek pikin dɛn we gɛt dis ej fil se dɛn nɔ sef bɔt dɛnsɛf sɔntɛnde, fɔ ɛkspɛkt akseptɛns frɔm ɔda pipul dɛn, ɛn fɔ want fɔ hang ɔut wit di ‘kul’, ‘pop’ pikin dɛn. Na so i bi fo dat ej.

Bɔt dɛn ``klik'' ya kin mek yu gɛt prɔblɛm dɛn we go de fɔ lɔng tɛm, pan ɔl we yu gɛt saykilɔjik ɛn di we aw yu de biev , mɔ pan kes dɛm lɛk dis:

• We pikin dɛn kin tɛmpt fɔ du tin dɛn we dɛn no se nɔ rayt ɔ nɔ gri wit wetin dɛn de fil, fɔ mek di lida gladi ɔ fɔ bi pat pan di grup. Fɔ ɛgzampul, tin dɛn lɛk fɔ buli ɔda pɔsin ɔ fɔ lay.
• We dɛn de push pikin dɛn rawnd , dɛn kin spɛn bɔku mɔni fɔ wɛr nyu klos , bay di layt fon, tiz ɔda pipul dɛn, skata gɔsip (ilɛksɛf na dairekt to dɛn fes ɔ ɔnlayn tru soshal midia).
• We dɛn fos pikin dɛn fɔ du tin dɛn we de mek dɛn gɛt prɔblɛm lɛk fɔ tif, fɔ du dɔti wok, ɔ fɔ pwɛl ɔda pipul dɛn tin . We dɛn de fos dɛn fɔ du tin dɛn lɛk, ‘Wi ɔl de du am, yusɛf fɔ du am.’
• We di grup bi antisocial clique or gang , fɔ put lɔ dɛn we nɔ fayn lɛk fɔ lɛf fɔ it bɔku bɔku it, ɔ fɔ buli ɔ trɛtin ɔda pipul dɛn bikɔs ɔf aw dɛn luk, disabled, rays, ɔ rilijɔn.
• We pikin fil se wan grup nɔ gri wit am bad bad wan, dɛn nɔ de tek am na ɔda kɔntri, ɛn i nɔ de nia ɔda pipul dɛn, dis kin rili pwɛl di pikin in sɛf.

Tink bɔt am, dɛn ``(Cliques)`` ya kin bi mɔs tranga, we min se di prɔblɛm kin bi mɔs, we di pikin de na gred siks, sɛvin, ɔ et (Midul skul). כltu, sכmtεm dεn ``(Clique)`` prכblεm dεm kin bigin as ali as fכ כ 5 ia ol. So, i fayn fɔ mek wi no dis frɔm we yu yɔŋ.

Aw wi go ɛp as mama ɛn papa?

Okay, naw we yu pikin de strɛs, sɔntɛm i de sɔfa, wit dɛn padi biznɛs ya, `(Klik), bɔku tin de we yu, dat na, wi, as mama ɛn papa kin du fɔ sɔpɔt dɛn. Lɛ wi si wetin dɛn bi. Dis na tin dɛn we rili simpul ɛn we pɔsin kin du.

• Tɔk bɔt yu ɛkspiriɛns dɛn: Tɔk to yu pikin bɔt yu ɛkspiriɛns na skul, di grup dɛn we yu bin gɛt, ɛn di tin dɛn we yu nɔ bin gri wit yu padi dɛn. Tɛl dɛn aw yu bin fil bɔt dɛn tin dɛn de ɛn aw yu bin de dil wit dɛn. Dis go ɛp yu pikin fɔ ɔndastand se dɛn tin ya nɔ jɔs de apin to am.
• Tray fɔ ɔndastand di lida in sayd: Ɛksplen to yu pikin se ivin if na dɛn na di lida fɔ wan ``(klik)'', dɛn kin jɔs tan lɛk ɔlman , wɔri fɔ mek pipul dɛn lɛk dɛn ɛn ɔda pipul dɛn kin aksept dɛn . Tɛl dɛn se sɔntɛm di lida de du da we de fɔ kɔba dɛn insekyuriti.
• Introdyus buk ɛn fim dɛn we fit: Fɛn buk ɛn fim dɛn we yu pikin go ebul fɔ tɔk bɔt bɔt padi biznɛs ɛn grup dɛn. Fɔ ɛgzampul, buk lɛk Judy Bloom in ‘Blubber’ ɔ fim lɛk ‘Mean Girls’. (Dis na Inglish, if i pɔsibul, wach dɛn wit yu pikin ɛn tɔk bɔt dɛn. Dis go mek am izi fɔ yu pikin fɔ ɔndastand di tin we de apin.)
• Ɛnkɔrej yu pikin fɔ du tin dɛn we nɔ de na skul: Ɛnkɔrej yu pikin fɔ tek pat pan tin dɛn we go mek i nɔ go skul . Tin dɛn lɛk at klas, myuzik klas, spɔt, martial art, langwej klas, envayrɔmɛnt klab, volontia wok, ɛn ɔda tin dɛn Dɛn tin ya de gi yu pikin di chans fɔ mek padi dɛn we nɔ de na skul, bay wetin dɛn ɔl lɛk, we gɛt difrɛn ej, ɛn we kɔmɔt na difrɛn skul dɛn. Den di skul klik no go bi dia onli wold.
• Tich gud padi biznɛs ɛn aw fɔ fil bad: Ɛnkɔrej yu pikin fɔ gɛt wɛlbɔdi ɛn fayn padi biznɛs . Tich dɛm fɔ nɔ tu kech pan dɛn ``klik'' ya. Tich dɛn fɔ no aw ɔda pipul dɛn de fil ɛn fɔ du wetin rayt fɔ dɛnsɛf, nɔto fɔ fala di krawd ɔltɛm . Tich dɛn simpul wan se, "Wi nɔ nid fɔ jomp insay di wɛl we ɔlman de jomp insay."

Yu kin ɛksplen to yu pikin se dɛn ``klik'' ya kin chenj kwik kwik wan, se di grup we de tide kin dɔn tumara, so i rili impɔtant fɔ gɛt gud, ɔnɛs, ɛn ɔndastandin padi dɛn . Di big sikrit fɔ mek ɔlman rili lɛk yu ɛn lɛk yu na fɔ bi di kayn padi we yu want fɔ bi to ɔda pipul dɛn.

Fɔ dɔn, sɔm tin dɛn fɔ mɛmba (Take-Home Message) .

So, a op se yu naw gɛt gud aidia bɔt aw dis `(Klik)` de afɛkt pikin dɛn layf, di prɔblɛm dɛn we i kin kɔz, ɛn aw wi fɔ dil wit am. Mɛmba se ɔl pikin kin gɛt dɛn kayn tin ya sɔm tɛm na in layf. Na nɔmal tin. Di tin we impɔtant pas ɔl na fɔ tɔk to yu pikin opin wan, lisin to am, ɛn mek i fil ɔltɛm se yu de sɔpɔt am, yu lɛk am, ɛn yu de kia fɔ am.

• Padi biznɛs rili impɔtant, bɔt yu nɔ nid fɔ put yusɛf ɔnda di prɛshɔn ɛn lɔ dɛn we nɔ nid fɔ ``(Klik)''.
• Ɛnkɔrej yu pikin ɔltɛm fɔ du wetin i fil se i rayt, akɔdin to in yon kɔnshɛns.
• Tich dɛn fɔ trit ɔda pipul dɛn fayn, rɛspɛkt, ɛn ɔndastand aw ɔda pipul dɛn de fil.
• If yu pikin gɛt prɔblɛm, ɛnkɔrej am fɔ tɔk bɔt am ɛn aks fɔ ɛp. Dis kin kɔmɔt frɔm yu, wan ticha, ɔ ɔda big pɔsin we dɛn abop pan.

We yu tink bɔt dɛn tin ya, yu kin rili ɛp yu pikin fɔ ebul fɔ du dɛn kɔmpleks soshal intarakshɔn ya fayn fayn wan. Dɔn i go izi fɔ dɛn fɔ mek padi biznɛs we go mek dɛn gɛt wɛlbɔdi, we go mek dɛn gladi, ɛn we go de sote go. Gud lak to yu ɛn yu pikin!

` Pikin dɛn padi biznɛs, skul gang, dɛn kɔmpin dɛn prɛshɔn, mama ɛn papa dɛn advays, grup, soshal skil