Yu sabi aw fɔ tɔk di rayt tin we de na yu maynd, wit rɛspɛkt? Mek wi tɔk bɔt Assertiveness!

Tide wi go tɔk bɔt sɔntin we rili impɔtant na wi layf. Dis na sɔntin we go ɛp yu wit yu padi dɛn, wit yu famili, usay yu de wok, usay yu de stɔdi, fɔ tɔk smɔl , ɔlsay. Dat na Assertiveness . Sɔntɛm yu dɔn yɛri dis wɔd. Fɔ tɔk am simpul wan, wi kɔl dis ``Assertiveness`` di ebul fɔ tɔk wetin de na yu maynd, yu nid, ɛn yu aidia dɛn di we we klia, ɔnɛs, ɛn rɛspɛktful , we yu nɔ go du yusɛf ɔ ɔda pipul dɛn bad.

Wetin rili na ``Assertiveness''?

Tink bɔt am, `(Assertiveness)` na jɔs wan wɛlbɔdi we fɔ tɔk . Na di ebul we yu ebul fɔ tɔk wetin yu tink ɔnɛs bɔt yusɛf ɛn wit rɛspɛkt to ɔda pipul dɛn. Wi kin gɛt bɔku tin dɛn ɛvride. Ilɛksɛf na fɔ tɛl pɔsin wetin i want, fɔ aks ticha kwɛstyɔn, ɔ fɔ tɔk fayn na wok ɔ yunivasiti intavyu, `(Assertiveness)` rili impɔtant.

Bɔt dis `(Assertiveness)` nɔto sɔntin we kin kam naturally to ɔlman. Sɔm pipul dɛn de, dɛn kin tɔk rili shem (Too Passive) . Dat min se dɛn nɔ de tɔk wetin de na dɛn maynd, ɛn dɛn de nɔd dɛn ed fɔ wetin ɔda pipul dɛn de tɔk. Sɔm ɔda wan dɛn de, dɛn stayl rili agresiv (Too Aggressive) . Dat min se dɛn nɔ de tink bɔt ɔda pipul dɛn, ɛn dɛn jɔs de tɔk bɔt dɛn yon tin ɛn ala. So, dis `(Assertiveness)` na di ekzak midul graun bitwin dem tu ekstrem.

Na sɔm tin dɛn we de mek yu akt ``Assertive``:

• Yu kin tɔk wetin yu tink, ɔ tɔk wetin yu de fil.
• Yu kin aks fɔ wetin yu want, wetin yu nid.
• Yu kin gɛt rɛspɛkt fɔ nɔ gri wit ɔda pipul dɛn.
• Yu kin sɛn yu aydia ɛn advays dɛn.
• Yu kin se "nɔ" we yu nɔ fil gilti.
• Yu kin ivin tɔk fɔ ɔda pɔsin.

Wetin mek dis impɔtant to wi?

Di kɔmyunikeshɔn we wi kin tɔk to dɛnsɛf kin ɛp wi fɔ gɛt wetin wi want. Bɔt i nɔ de stɔp de. We wi de tɔk tranga wan, dat min se wi rɛspɛkt wisɛf ɛn ɔda pipul dɛn.

Pipul dɛn we de tɔk asɛf kin sɛn di mɛsej se dɛn gɛt kɔnfidɛns pan dɛnsɛf. Dɛn nɔ de fred tumɔs ɔ push ɔda pipul dɛn tumɔs. Dɛn no se di we aw dɛn de fil ɛn di we aw dɛn de tink impɔtant. Dɛn gɛt kɔnfidɛns .

Pipul dɛn we de tɔk tranga wan kin mek padi izi wan. Dɛn kin tɔk to dɛnsɛf wit rɛspɛkt fɔ dɛn yon nid ɛn bak fɔ ɔda pipul dɛn nid. Dɛn sabi bak fɔ sɔlv prɔblɛm dɛn ɛn tin dɛn we dɛn nɔ gri wit. Dɛn kin rɛspɛkt di wan dɛn we rɛspɛkt ɔda pipul dɛn bak.

Yu de shem tumɔs? Tu strikt tu? Ɔ jɔs rayt?

Aw yu no usay yu tinap pan dis ``Assertiveness`` skel? Na sɔm ɛgzampul dɛn ya:

Nimali in (Too Passive): If yu aks Nimali wetin fim i wan wach, i go probabli se, "A no sabi, oh... wetin yu go laik to si?" I kin mek ɔda pipul dɛn disayd fɔ du di tin dɛn, bɔt afta dat, i kin vɛks ɛn se, “O, a nɔ bin gɛt wetin a bin want.” I kin fil bad bak se na in padi dɛn nɔmɔ de tɔk. Bɔt ivin we Nimali tray fɔ jɔyn di tɔk, i kin tɔk sloslo, ɛn ɔda pipul dɛn kin tɔk bɔt am we i nɔ no.

Surekha (Too Aggressive): Surekha nɔ gɛt prɔblɛm fɔ tɔk wetin i tink. Bɔt we i du dat, i kin kam fɔ no se i rili lawd ɛn i gɛt opinion. Surekha de kɔntrol di tɔk, bɔku tɛm i kin ambɔg ɔda pipul dɛn, ɛn i nɔ kin lisin to wetin ɔda pipul dɛn gɛt fɔ tɔk. If i nɔ gri wit yu, i kin mek yu no – bɔt i kin bi tru sarkasm ɔ bay we i de mek pɔsin fil bad. I gɛt gud nem fɔ bi pɔsin we rili bɔs ɛn nɔ de tink bɔt ɔda pipul dɛn.

Chamalge (Assertive): If yu aks Chamal fɔ in opinion, i go tɛl yu ɔnɛs wan. If i nɔ gri wit yu, i go tɛl yu – bɔt nɔto di we we go put yu dɔŋ ɔ mek yu fil se yu nɔ rayt. Chamal insɛf intres pan yu opinion. I de lisin to wetin yu gɛt fɔ tɔk. Ivin if Chamal nɔ gri wit yu, yu stil fil se i rɛspɛkt yu opinion.

Wetin kin apin we wi kip wetin wi tink to wisɛf (too passive)...

Bɔku tɛm, pipul dɛn we nɔ de du tin tumɔs kin fil se ɔda pipul dɛn de yuz dɛn. Dɛn kin fil bad, vɛks, ɔ fil bad.

We yu kip yu tinkin ɛn filin dɛn insay bɔtul insay, ɔda pipul dɛn nɔ go ebul fɔ rili no ɛn ɔndastand yu. Yu aidia ɛn advays dɛn nɔ go gɛt ɛni yus to di tim.

If yu bigin fil lɛk se dɛn nɔ valyu di tin dɛn we yu de tink ɔ di we aw yu de fil, dat kin mek yu nɔ gɛt kɔnfidɛns pan yusɛf . I kin ridyus bak di chans fɔ mek pipul dɛn gri wit yu gud ayd dɛn ɛn ansa dɛn. Sɔntɛnde dis kin ivin mek yu gɛt wan sik lɛk pwɛl hat .

Mɛmba se: yu vɔys valyu bak. Nɔ mek i nɔ tɔk natin!

Wetin kin apin if yu go tu agresiv wit ɔltin?

Pipul dɛn we kin tan lɛk se dɛn de vɛks tumɔs kin gɛt prɔblɛm fɔ kip dɛn padi dɛn. Dɛn kin ambɔg ɔda pipul dɛn we dɛn de tɔk to dɛn, ɛn tɔk wetin dɛn tink wit rili pawa ɛn fos. Dis kin mek ɔda pipul dɛn fil se dɛn nɔ de pe atɛnshɔn to dɛn ɛn dɛn nɔ rɛspɛkt dɛn.

Pipul dɛn we gɛt agresiv stayl kin ebul fɔ mek ɔda pipul dɛn du wetin dɛn want, bɔt bɔku tɛm dɛn kin si se ɔda pipul dɛn nɔ lɛk dɛn ɔ dɛn nɔ lɛk dɛn. Dɛn nɔ de du datDɛn de lɔs rɛspɛkt.

Wetin mek ɔlman nɔ de biev ``(Assertive)''?

Wetin mek sɔm pipul dɛn kin tɔk ``Assertively'' we ɔda wan dɛn kin rili pasiv ɔ agresiv? Wan rizin fɔ dis na di we aw dɛn bi . Wan ɔda rizin na di abit dɛn we wi kin gɛt ɛn di ɛkspiriɛns dɛn we wi kin gɛt. Bɔt wi kin lan fɔ bi ``Assertive'', ``Passive'', ɔ ``Aggressive'' bay we wi de wach aw ɔda pipul dɛn – mɔ di wan dɛn we de mɛn wi – de biev.

Na sɔm tin dɛn we kin mek pɔsin biev tumɔs pasiv :

• Nɔ gɛt kɔnfidɛns pan yusɛf ɔ di valyu we yu yon ayd dɛn gɛt.
• Tink tumɔs bɔt fɔ want fɔ mek ɔda pipul dɛn gladi ɛn fɔ want ɔda pipul dɛn fɔ lɛk yu.
• Fɔ wɔri if ɔda pipul dɛn go gri wit yu aidia ɔ nɔ gri wit yu.
• Fɔ rili sɛnsitiv to kritik, ɔ fɔ dɔn ɛkspiriɛns fɔ rijek bifo we dɛn nɔ tek in aydyɔ na kɔna.
• Fɔ bi ``Assertive'' min se yu nɔ dɔn divɛlɔp di skil dɛm we yu nid.

Dɛn tin ya kin mek pɔsin biev tumɔs :

• Fɔ gɛt kɔnfidɛns pasmak .
• Fɔ tink tumɔs bɔt fɔ du wetin yu nid ɛn fɔ tɔk bɔt wetin yu tink nɔmɔ.
• Nɔ lan fɔ rɛspɛkt ɛn tink bɔt wetin ɔda pipul dɛn tink ɔ wetin dɛn nid.
• Dɛn nɔ lan fɔ lisin to ɔda pipul dɛn ɛn aks fɔ wetin dɛn tink.

Dis na di tin dɛm we kin mek pɔsin biev di rayt we (`Assertive`) :

• Fɔ gɛt gud kɔnfidɛns pan yusɛf .
• We pɔsin biliv se wetin i tink impɔtant, di we aw i de fil valyu, ɛn i gɛt rayt fɔ tɔk bɔt am.
• Fɔ bi pɔsin we ebul fɔ bia (dat min se, fɔ ebul fɔ dil wit pipul dɛn we dɛn de kɔmɛnt, we dɛn nɔ gri wit, ɛn we de mek dɛn nɔ ebul fɔ du wetin dɛn want).
• Fɔ rɛspɛkt wetin ɔda pipul dɛn want ɛn wetin dɛn nid.
• Fɔ gɛt gud rol mɔdel fɔ `(Assertiveness)`.
• Fɔ no se pipul dɛn bin gri wit wetin yu tink ɛn pipul dɛn bin gladi fɔ di we aw yu de tɔk tranga wan trade.

Aw wi go bi smɔl mɔ ``Assertive''?

Fɔ bi pɔsin we de tɔk tranga wan, i min fɔ praktis sɔm tin dɛn fɔ tɔk to pipul dɛn ɛn fɔ gɛt di rayt abit. Sɔm pipul dɛn kin bɔn wit di abiliti fɔ bi asɛf. Ɔda wan dɛn nid fɔ praktis smɔl mɔ . Bɔt, ɔlman kin divɛlɔp dis.

Na dis na aw:

Fɔs, tink bɔt uswan pan dɛn tri kɔmyunikeshɔn stayl ya (`(Assertive)`, `(Passive)`, ɔ `(Aggressive)`) yu sabi pas ɔl. Dɔn disayd if yu nɔ nid fɔ shem tumɔs, nɔ fɔ fɛt, ɔ fɔ tɔk to pipul dɛn pas aw yu kin bi.

Fɔ ridyus di pasiv ɛn fɔ mek di asɛftiv, du dɛn tin ya:

• Tek tɛm bɔt wetin yu de tink, wetin yu de fil, wetin yu want, wetin yu lɛk. Yu nid fɔ no bɔt dɛn tin ya bifo yu tɛl ɔda pipul dɛn.
• We pɔsin aks yu wetin yu want, notis if yu se, “A nɔ no,” “A nɔ bisin,” ɔ “Dat nɔto prɔblɛm.” Stɔp fɔ tɔk dat. Gɛt di abit fɔ tɔk wetin yu want, mɔ fɔ smɔl tin dɛn. Fɔ ɛgzampul, if pɔsin aks se, "Yu want di grɛn wan ɔ di rɛd wan?" yu kin se, "A lɛk di grɛn wan – tɛnki."
• Praktis fɔ aks fɔ tin dɛn. Fɔ ɛgzampul: "A kin gɛt spun, duya?" "A nid pen - enibodi get ekstra wan?" "A kin gɛt sidɔm ples?" Dis go mek yu gɛt di skil ɛn kɔnfidɛns we yu nid fɔ aks fɔ mɔ impɔtant tin dɛn we yu nid fɔ du dat.
• Tɛl wi yu opinion . Tɛl wi if yu lɛk ɔ yu nɔ lɛk fim we yu si, ɛn wetin mek.
• Praktis fɔ yuz " Mi" stetmɛnt dɛn lɛk "A want..." "A go lɛk..." ɔ "A fil..." .
• Fɛn gud rol mɔdel we de asɛf – dat na, nɔ tu shem, nɔ tu agresiv. Si if yu go ebul fɔ falamakata da pɔsin de in bɛst kwaliti dɛn.
• Mɛmba yusɛf se yu aidia ɛn opinion impɔtant jɔs lɛk ɔlman. If yu no dis, i go ɛp yu fɔ bi ``Assertive.`` Assertiveness de stat wit wan insay abit we valyu ɔda pipul ɛn valyu yusɛf.

Fɔ ridyus Aggressiveness ɛn inkrisayz Assertiveness, du dɛn tin ya:

• Mek ɔda pipul dɛn tɔk fɔs.
• Wach aw pipul dɛn de ambɔg yu we yu de tɔk. If dat apin, kech am ɛn se, "O, sɔri - yu se am!" ɛn lɛ di ɔda pɔsin dɔn.
• Aks ɔda pɔsin fɔ wan aidia ɛn lisin to dɛn ansa.
• We yu nɔ gri, tray fɔ tɔk wetin yu tink ɛn nɔ put di ɔda pɔsin smɔl. Fɔ ɛgzampul, insted yu se, "Dat na stupid aidia," tray fɔ se, "A nɔ rili lɛk da aidia de." Ɔ, bifo yu se, “I na bad bad pɔsin,” tray fɔ se, “A nɔ tink se i bisin bɔt ɔda pipul dɛn.”
• Fɛn gud rol mɔdel we de asɛf – dat na, nɔ tu shem, nɔ tu agresiv. Si if yu go ebul fɔ falamakata da pɔsin de in bɛst kwaliti dɛn.

Pipul wae na naturally assertive kin divεlכp dεn abiliti mכr:

• Bi ``Assertive`` – dat na, nɔ tu shem, nɔ tu rud – .Fɛn gud pipul dɛn fɔ falamakata yu. Si if yu go ebul fɔ falamakata dɛn bɛst kwaliti dɛn. (Yu kin si se dis na di sem advays we wi kin gi fɔ ɛp fɔ shem ɔ agresiv stayl. Dat na bikɔs wi nɔ de ɛva stɔp fɔ lan!)
• Tink bɔt ustɛm yu kin tɔk tranga wan . Pipul dɛn kin biev difrɛn we pan difrɛn tin dɛn. Fɔ bɔku pipul dɛn, i izi fɔ bi pɔsin we de tɔk tranga wan pan sɔm tin dɛn (lɛk wit padi dɛn), bɔt i kin tranga fɔ ɔda pipul dɛn (lɛk wit ticha ɔ nyu pipul dɛn). We tin nɔ izi, tray fɔ aks yusɛf se, "Wetin a go se if a bin de wit mi bɛst padi dɛn?"

We yu tɔk tranga wan, i de sho se yu biliv yusɛf. Fɔ divɛlɔp asɛf na wan step fɔ bi di pɔsin we yu want fɔ bi, di bɛst vɛshɔn fɔ yusɛf!

Di tin we impɔtant pas ɔl we yu fɔ kɛr go na os (Take-Home Message) .

Okay, so naw yu get gud aidia fo wetin wi don de tok abaut, ``(Assertiveness)''. Mɛmba se dis nɔto sɔntin we yu kin chenj wan nɛt. Bɔt we yu praktis, yu go mɔs si difrɛns.

• Di we aw yu de fil, di we aw yu de tink, ɛn di tin dɛn we yu nid rili valyu. Nɔ ayd dɛn.
• Nɔ bi pasiv, nɔ bi agresiv. Wi don tok boht di ins en outs of dem tu.
• Assertive min fɔ tɔk yu maynd ɔnɛs wan, rɛspɛkt ɔda pipul dɛn ɛn rɛspɛkt yusɛf.
• Start wit smɔl smɔl tin dɛn. Praktis fɔ tɔk sɔntin we simpul lɛk, "A lɛk da kɔlɔ de pas dis kɔlɔ."
• Tek tɛm lisin to wetin ɔda pipul dɛn gɛt fɔ tɔk. Fɔ tɔk tru nɔto jɔs fɔ tɔk yu yon tin.
• Ivin if yu mek mistek ɔ yu nid fɔ se nɔ, nɔ fil gilti fɔ dat.

Tray fɔ put dɛn smɔl smɔl tin ya insay yu layf ɛvride. Yu go si aw una rilayshɔnship go bɛtɛ ɛn aw una go fil layt. Yu win!

Kɔmyunikeshɔn, Mental Ɛlth , Assertiv, Sɛlf-Kɔnfidɛns, Intapɔsɔnal Rilayshɔnship, Imɔshɔn Manejmɛnt , Wɛlbɔdi Layf Stayl