Aw yu de tink bɔt yusɛf? Wi kin tɔk bɔt dis smɔl?

Wi ɔl de yɛri di wɔd ‘sɛlf-ɛstimɛnt’ ɔltɛm, nɔto so? Dɛn se dis we aw wi de fil bɔt wisɛf kin rili afɛkt wi gladi at ɛn sakrifays na layf. Bɔt sɔntɛnde, fɔ sɔm pipul dɛn, dis we aw pipul dɛn de fil bɔt dɛnsɛf na sɔntin we dɛn kin chenj ivin bay smɔl tin dɛn. Dis kin apin ya ɛn de bikɔs ɔf tin dɛn lɛk di pipul dɛn na wi layf ɛn di vɔys dɛn we de kɔmɔt insay wi. So, a bin tink se i go fayn fɔ tɔk bɔt dis dip smɔl.

Wetin na Self-Esteem?

Fɔ tɔk am simpul wan, fɔ rɛspɛkt yusɛf na di we aw yu de tink bɔt yusɛf, di valyu we yu de gi yusɛf. I min if yu aksept yusɛf wit di tin dɛn we yu ebul fɔ du ɛn di tin dɛn we yu nɔ ebul fɔ du, lɛk yusɛf, ɛn rɛspɛkt yusɛf. I tan lɛk miro na wi maynd. If da miro de sho wi klia wan ɛn fayn, wi go rili rɛspɛkt wisɛf. Bɔt if i blɔk ɛn sho wi se wi nɔ impɔtant, wi kin se wi nɔ gɛt bɛtɛ rɛspɛkt fɔ wisɛf, ɔndastand? So, fɔ gɛt gud rɛspɛkt fɔ yusɛf rili impɔtant . I tan lɛk strɔng fawndeshɔn. I de ɛp wi fɔ bia wit di prɔblɛm dɛn we kin kam na layf, fɔ bigin nyu tin dɛn, ɛn fɔ kɔntinyu fɔ gɛt gud padi biznɛs wit ɔda pipul dɛn. We wi nɔ gɛt bɛtɛ rɛspɛkt fɔ wisɛf, wi kin wɔri bɔt ivin di smɔl smɔl tin dɛn, wi nɔ kin gɛt kɔnfidɛns pan wisɛf, ɛn wi kin fred fɔ du nyu tin dɛn. Na dat mek i impɔtant fɔ no bɔt dis.

Wetin na di tin dɛn we kin afɛkt di we aw wi de fil bɔt wisɛf?

Naw luk, dis self-esteem nɔto sɔntin we de na wan ples ɛn di sem we. I kin go ɔp ɛn dɔŋ. Difrɛn tin dɛn kin afɛkt am. Lɛ wi si wetin na di men tin dɛn we de afɛkt am.

Di vɔys we de kɔmɔt insay wi at (Inner Voice) .

Yu dɔn ɛva tɔk to yusɛf? Yɛs, wi ɔl de du am. Dis na wetin wi kɔl di ‘insay vɔys’ . Sɔntɛnde dis vɔys kin rili fayn, i kin tɔk tin lɛk ‘yu kin’, ‘dis gud’. Bɔt sɔntɛnde dis vɔys kin rili harsh, i kin tɔk bad tin lɛk ‘yu kin’, ‘yu smɔl’, ‘yu nɔ gɛt yus’. So if wi de yɛri dis bad vɔys ɔltɛm, di we aw wi de fil bɔt wisɛf kin bigin fɔ stɔp. Fɔ tɔk di kɔrɛkt tin, if wi de kɔndɛm wisɛf tumɔs, i nɔ go fayn fɔ mek wi gɛt rɛspɛkt fɔ wisɛf.

Pipul dɛn na Wi Layf

Di pipul dɛm we de arawnd wi kin gɛt big impak bak pan wi sɛlf-ɛstimɛnt. Yu famili, padi dɛm, yu man ɔ wɛf, di pipul dɛm na yu wokples... Ɔlman in wɔd ɛn akshɔn de afɛkt wi. Jɔs tink bɔt, we yu de du sɔntin wit pawa, i go rili gladi if pɔsin kam nia yu ɛn se, ‘O, yu kin du dat, yu rili gud!’ Dat de mek wi gɛt mɔ rɛspɛkt fɔ wisɛf. Bɔt if pipul dɛn de de rawnd yu ɔltɛm we de kɔndɛm wetin yu de du ɛn tɔk bad to yu, smɔl smɔl yu nɔ go gɛt bɛtɛ kɔnfidɛns pan yusɛf. If yu gɛt fɔ fes tin dɛn lɛk buli, dat na big big prɔblɛm bak fɔ yu sɛlf-ɛstimɛnt.

Di Ekspiriɛns dɛn na Layf

Wi ɔl kin gɛt difrɛn tin dɛn we kin apin to wi na layf. Sɔm kin gladi, sɔm kin fil bad. Di tin dɛn we wi kin ebul fɔ du, Di rɛkɔgnishɔn we wi kin gɛt kin mek wi gɛt mɔ rɛspɛkt fɔ wisɛf. Bɔt tin dɛn lɛk we wi win, we wi at pwɛl, ɛn tin dɛn we kin mek wi fil bad, kin afɛkt di we aw wi de fil bɔt wisɛf. Di tin we impɔtant pas ɔl na aw wi kin grap bak afta dɛn kayn ɛkspiriɛns dɛn de. Sɔm pipul dɛn kin fɔdɔm ivin afta dɛn dɔn mek smɔl mistek. Bɔt sɔm kin lan frɔm dɛn ɛn gɛt trɛnk.

Soshal Midia

Naw, soshal midia dɔn bi big tin we de ambɔg wisɛf. Fo tins laik Facebook and Instagram, wi de onli si di bes and nais aspek fo oda pipul laif, no bi so? We i tan lɛk se ɔlman gladi ɛn gɛt sakrifays, sɔntɛnde wi kin fil bad bɔt wisɛf. ‘Wetin mek mi layf tan lɛk dis?’ i aks am. Wi kin tink. Dɛn kɔmpiashɔn ya we nɔ nid fɔ bi gɛt bɔku chans fɔ mek wi nɔ gɛt bɛtɛ rɛspɛkt fɔ wisɛf. So, wi nid fɔ rili tek tɛm we wi de yuz soshal midia.

Fizik Wɛlbɔdi ɛn Aw I De luk

Wi bɔdi wɛlbɔdi ɛn di we aw wi de fil bɔt aw wi luk gɛt sɔntin fɔ du bak wit di we aw wi de tink bɔt wisɛf. If wi gɛt sik ɔ if wi de fil taya ɔltɛm, dat kin afɛkt di we aw wi de fil ɛn aw wi de fil bɔt wisɛf. Dɔn bak, sɔm pipul dɛn kin wɔri tumɔs bɔt aw dɛn luk (lɛk aw dɛn ay, dɛn wet, dɛn skin kɔlɔ) ɛn dɛn kin kɔmpia dɛnsɛf to ɔda pipul dɛn ɛn dɛn kin fil bad. I impɔtant fɔ ɔndastand se ɔlman difrɛn ɛn ɔlman fayn na in yon we .

Wetin na di sayn dɛm wae de sho se pɔrsin nɔr gɛt bɛtɛ ɔnɔ fɔ insɛf?

Okay, naw yu go mɔs de tink se, ‘A nɔ no if a nɔ gɛt bɛtɛ rɛspɛkt fɔ misɛf.’ If yu de tink da we de, tek smɔl tɛm fɔ si if yusɛf gɛt dɛn kwaliti dɛn ya.

• Fɔ blem yusɛf ɔltɛm: If yu de tink ɔltɛm bɔt bad tin lɛk ‘A nɔ ebul’, ‘A nɔ gud inof’.
• Fɔ avɔyd prɔblɛm dɛn: If yu de fred fɔ bigin nyu tin, du sɔntin we nɔ izi fɔ yu, ɔ de tink ɔltɛm se, ‘Wetin a go du if a nɔ ebul fɔ du am?’
• Nɔ gri fɔ tek kɔmplimɛnt: If pɔsin tɔk fayn to yu, yu kin avɔyd am bay we yu se, ‘O nɔ, dat nɔto so.’
• If yu de kɔmpia yusɛf to ɔda pipul dɛn ɔltɛm, de tink bɔt tin dɛn lɛk: ‘I gɛt dis, mi nɔ gɛt am’, ɛn yu de fil bad.
• Fɔ fred pasmak fɔ mistek: If yu tink pasmak ivin smɔl mistek ɛn fil se yu at pwɛl.
• Pipul-plɛsin: Fɔ se ‘yes’ to ɔltin, ivin if yu nɔ lɛk am, bikɔs i go mek ɔda pipul dɛn fil bad.
• Ova-sɛnsitivity to criticism: If sɔmbɔdi mek smɔl kritik, yu tek am na yu at ɛn tink bɔt am fɔ sɔm dez.
• Fɔ fil se yu nɔ gɛt wan valyu: If yu gɛt filin lɛk ‘A nɔ valyu ɛnitin to ɛnibɔdi’, ‘A nɔ valyu ɛnitin fɔ de’.

Na nɔmal tin fɔ gɛt wan ɔ tu pan dɛn kwaliti ya. Bɔt if bɔku pan dɛn de apin to yu, ɛn yu de tray tranga wan wit dɛn filin ya ɔltɛm, na tɛm fɔ tek tɛm luk aw yu de fil bɔt yusɛf.

Aw yu de bil ɛn protɛkt yu sɛlf-ɛstimɛnt?

Di gud nyus na dat, fɔ rɛspɛkt wisɛf na sɔntin we wi go ebul fɔ du mɔ. Jɔs lɛk aw wi de du ɛksɛsayz ɛn bil wi bɔdi, wi kin mek wi maynd strɔng bak. Lɛ wi tek tɛm luk sɔm pan di tin dɛn we wi kin du fɔ ɛp.

1. Chalenj Negatif Tin dɛn fɔ Tink

A bin de tɔk bɔt di bad vɔys we de insay wi maynd. We da vɔys de kam, nɔ jɔs aksept am, chalenj am. Aks yusɛf kwɛstyɔn dɛn lɛk, ‘Na mi rili?’, ‘Ɛni pruf de fɔ dis?’, ‘A nɔ go ebul fɔ tink bɔt am difrɛn we?’ Imajin se i nɔ bin izi fɔ yu fɔ du ɛgzam. Bifo yu tink se, ‘A nɔ gɛt sɛns,’ yu kin tink se, ‘A nɔ du wɛl dis tɛm, bɔt a go tray tranga wan nɛks tɛm,’ nɔto so? Tɛknik dɛm wae dɛn kin tich pan tritmɛnt dɛm lɛk Kɔgnitiv Bihayvya Tɛrapi (CBT) kin ɛp sɔmtɛm wit dis.

2. Praktis fɔ Sɔri-at fɔ Yusɛf

Aw yu kin trit yu bɛst padi we in at pwɛl? Yu kin kɔl am? Yu nɔ tink se? Yu kin tɔk to am wit gud at ɛn ɔndastand. Na so yu fɔ trit yusɛf. Wi ɔl kin mek mistek, wi ɔl gɛt wikɛd tin dɛn. Bifo yu blem yusɛf da tɛm de, tink se, ‘I nɔ bad, misɛf na mɔtalman.’ Fɔ du gud to yusɛf rili impɔtant fɔ mek yu gɛt rɛspɛkt fɔ yusɛf.

3. Sɛt Rial Gol dɛn

We wi tray fɔ rich big gol dɛn wan tɛm, wi at kin pwɛl kwik kwik wan if wi nɔ ebul fɔ du dat. So, sɛt smɔl gol dɛn we yu go rili ebul fɔ du . We yu rich wan pan dɛn gol dɛn de, sɛlibret am. I go mek yu fil fayn bɔt yusɛf ɛn biliv yusɛf. Smɔl smɔl win dɛn kin mek rod fɔ big big win dɛn.

4. Fokus pan di tin dɛn we yu fɔ du

Wi ɔl gɛt sɔm talɛnt, sɔm trɛnk. Sɔntɛm yu sabi fɔ drɔ, ɔ sɔntɛm yu sabi kuk, ɔ sɔntɛm yu sabi fɔ ɛp ɔda pipul dɛn. Bifo yu tink bɔt di tin dɛn we yu nɔ ebul fɔ du, tray fɔ no wetin yu ebul fɔ du . Divɛlɔp dɛn. We yu du tin dɛn we yu sabi du, yu kin fil fayn bɔt yusɛf.

5. Bil Pozitiv Rilayshɔnship

Sɔrawnd yusɛf wit pipul dɛn we de sɔpɔt yu, ɛnkɔrej yu, ɛn mek yu fil fayn we yu de wit dɛn. I bɛtɛ fɔ lɛ yu nɔ de nia pipul dɛn we de kɔndɛm yu ɛn put yu dɔŋ ɔltɛm. Sɛt bɔda dɛn . Nɔ tray fɔ bi ɔltin to ɔlman ɛn lɔs yusɛf.

6. Tek Kia ɔf Yusɛf (Self-Care) .

Dis rili impɔtant. Yu bɔdi ɛn maynd nid fɔ rɛst fayn ɛn gɛt tin fɔ it. It fayn, drink bɔku wata fɔ wan de, slip fayn, ɛn ɛksesaiz . Fɛn tɛm fɔ du sɔntin we yu lɛk. Du sɔntin we go mek yu gladi, lɛk fɔ rid buk, lisin to myuzik, ɔ du smɔl gadin wok. We wi de trit wisɛf, wi kin fil fayn bɔt wisɛf.

7. Lan fɔ Se Nɔ

Bɔku tɛm wi kin se ‘yes’ to ɔltin, ilɛksɛf i nɔ izi fɔ wi, bikɔs wi de fred fɔ mek ɔda pipul dɛn fil bad. Bɔt dat kin jɔs put wi ɔnda prɛshɔn. If sɔntin de we yu rili nɔ ebul fɔ du ɔ yu nɔ want fɔ du, nɔ fred fɔ se ‘nɔ’ . I de sev yu tɛm ɛn trɛnk, ɛn i de sho se yu rɛspɛkt yusɛf.

8. Aksept di tin dɛn we nɔ pafɛkt

Nɔbɔdi nɔ pafɛkt. Wi ɔl gɛt fɔlt ɛn mistek dɛn. Fɔ tray fɔ bi pafɛkt (Perfectionism) jɔs de put prɛshɔn pan wisɛf. Aksept yusɛf wit yu fɔlt dɛn. If yu mek mistek, lan frɔm am ɛn go bifo.

9. Ɛp Ɔda Pipul dɛn

Wi kin gɛt bɔku gladi at we wi du smɔl gud fɔ ɔda pɔsin. I de mek wi fil fayn bɔt wisɛf ɛn wi valyu. Volunteer , ɛp neba, ɛp pɔsin ɛni we we yu ebul.

10. Luk fɔ Prɔfɛshɔnal Ɛp if I Nid

Sɔntɛnde, ilɛksɛf wi tray tranga wan, i nɔ kin izi fɔ lɛ wi lɛf dɛn bad we ya. Na dɛn kayn tɛm ya, i rili impɔtant fɔ go to pɔsin we sabi du in wok ɔ pɔsin we sabi bɔt sayɛns/saykayatrist fɔ ɛp yu . I nɔto wikɛd tin, na sɔntin we pɔsin we bisin bɔt insɛf de du. I tan lɛk se wi de go to dɔktɔ we wi gɛt fiva.

Di tin dɛn we impɔtant pas ɔl fɔ mek yu mɛmba (Take-Home Message) .

So, yu sɛlf-ɛstimɛnt na rili impɔtant pat pan yu maynd wɛlbɔdi. I tan lɛk plant we gɛt valyu, wi nid fɔ kia fɔ am gud gud wan, gi am tin fɔ it, ɛn protɛkt am.

Yu gɛt valyu. Lɛk yusɛf, rɛspɛkt yusɛf, ɛn biliv yusɛf.

Fɔ tink bɔt yusɛf nɔto sɔntin we pɔsin kin bil wan nɛt. I kin tek tɛm ɛn tray tranga wan. Bɔt i nɔto tin we nɔ pɔsibul. Tray fɔ put dɛn tin ya insay yu layf smɔl smɔl. Sɔm dez i go tranga, sɔm dez i go izi. Bɔt nɔ giv ɔp. If yu fil fayn bɔt yusɛf, yu go gɛt di trɛnk fɔ bia wit ɛnitin we layf go trowe pan yu. Yu gladi at de na yu an!

---

Self-esteem, Self-esteem, Mental health, Gladi at, Sakses, Negativ tinkin, Self-care