Omanyi okwogera ebirowoozo byo mu ngeri entegeerekeka era mu ngeri ey’ekitiibwa? Ka twogere ku Assertiveness ne Nirogi Lanka!

Leero, twogera ku kintu ekikulu ennyo mu bulamu bwo. Kye bukugu obujja okukuyamba buli wamu —n’emikwano, awaka, ku mulimu, oba ng’osoma —mu bufunze, buli w’ogenda. Obukugu buno buyitibwa Assertiveness . Ekisanja kino oyinza okuba nga wali owuliddeko emabegako. Mu ngeri ennyangu, okwekakasa kwe kusobola okwogera ebirowoozo byo, ebyetaago byo, n’endowooza zo mu bwesimbu, mu ngeri entegeerekeka, era mu ngeri ey’ekitiibwa , nga tolumya balala oba okufiiriza omuwendo gwo.

Mu butuufu okubeera Assertive kitegeeza ki?

Lowooza ku kwekakasa ng'engeri y'empuliziganya ennungi . Kwe kusobola okweyimirizaawo ate ng’okuuma abalala ekitiibwa. Tuyolekagana n’embeera ezitabalika buli lunaku nga kino kikulu nnyo —ka kibeere kwogera ky’oyagala, okubuuza omusomesa ekibuuzo, oba okweyanjula obulungi mu kiseera ky’okubuuza ebibuuzo ku mulimu oba mu yunivasite.

Kyokka, okwekakasa si bulijjo nti mpisa ya buzaale. Abantu abamu batera okubeera nga tebakola nnyo ; banyigiriza enneewulira zaabwe ne bamala kukkiriziganya n’abalala bonna okwewala obutakkaanya. Abalala beesigamye ku kubeera abakambwe ennyo ; bakulembeza ebyetaago byabwe okusinga byonna, emirundi mingi okwogera okusinga abalala oba okuleekaana okuwulirwa. Obukakafu ye bbalansi eyo entuufu wakati ddala.

Okubeera omukakafu kitegeeza nti osobola:

• Yogera endowooza zo n’enneewulira zo mu lwatu.
• Saba bye weetaaga mu ngeri etegeerekeka obulungi.
• Temukkiriziganya na balala mu ngeri ey’ekitiibwa .
• Gabana ebirowoozo byo n'ebiteeso byo n'obwesige.
• Gamba nti “nedda” nga towulira musango.
• Yimirirako abalala bwe kiba kyetaagisa.

Lwaki kino kikulu nnyo gye tuli?

Okuwuliziganya mu ngeri ey’okwekakasa kikuyamba okufuna ky’olina, naye kigenda mu buziba okusinga ekyo. Okubeera omukakafu kitegeeza nti weetwala ng’ekikulu nga bw’otwala abo abakwetoolodde ng’abakulu.

Abantu ssekinnoomu abakakafu balaga nti beesiga era beekakasa. Tebakankana, era tebakuba balala bulldoze. Bakimanyi nti enneewulira zaabwe n’ebirowoozo byabwe birina omugaso. Balina endowooza ey’amaanyi ey’okwekkiririzaamu .

Abantu abeekakasa batera okukisanga nga kyangu okuzimba emikwano kubanga bawuliziganya mu ngeri essa ekitiibwa mu byetaago byabwe n’ebyetaago by’abalala. Era bakuguse mu kugonjoola obutakkaanya n’obutakkaanya. Bw’oyisa abalala ekitiibwa, ofuna ekitiibwa kyabwe mu kuddamu.

Passive, Aggressive, oba Just Right?

Omanya otya w’ogwa ku minzaani y’obukakafu? Bino bye bimu ku byokulabirako:

Nimali (Too Passive): Bw’obuuza Nimali firimu ki gy’ayagala okulaba, kirabika ajja kugamba nti, “Simanyi... kiki kye wandyagadde?” Ebiseera ebisinga aleka abalala okusalawo, kyokka oluvannyuma n’awulira obusungu nti by’ayagala byasiwuuka empisa. Alwana okuwulirwa mu kibinja, era bw’agezaako okuwaayo, ayogera mpola nnyo ne kiba nti emirundi mingi bamunyumya.

Surekha (Too Aggressive): Surekha talina buzibu bwonna kwogera birowoozo bye, naye akikola mu ngeri ey’amaanyi, ng’afuga. Atera okuwamba emboozi, n’asalako abalala era awuliriza kitono nnyo. Bw’aba takkiriziganya naawe, akimanyisa —emirundi mingi ng’ayita mu kusaaga oba ng’amulumya. Alina erinnya ly’okubeera bossy ate nga tafaayo.

Chamal (Assertive): Bw’obuuza Chamal endowooza ye, agigabana mu bwesimbu. Bw’aba takkiriziganya naawe, akirambika bulungi —naye nga takunyooma oba okukuleetera okuwulira ng’oli mukyamu. Chamal ayagala nnyo endowooza yo era awuliriza n’obunyiikivu. Ne bw’aba takkiriziganya, okyawulira ng’assa ekitiibwa mu ndowooza yo.

Ebiva mu kubeera passive...

Abo abasukkiridde obutakola batera okuwulira ng’abalala babakozesa omukisa. Kino kiyinza okuleetera omuntu okuwulira ng’alumwa, okunyiiga, oba okunyiiga.

Bw’okuuma ebirowoozo byo n’enneewulira zo nga bisibiddwa, abalala tebasobola kumanya oba kutegeera ggwe omutuufu. Ekirala, ekibiina kyo kisubwa omugaso gw’ebirowoozo byo eby’enjawulo n’ebiteeso byo.

Singa otandika okuwulira nti ebirowoozo byo oba enneewulira zo si nsonga, okwekkiririzaamu kwo ( Confidence ) kuyinza okukendeera. Okugatta ku ekyo, osubwa okusiimibwa kw’osaanidde olw’ebintu by’owaddeyo. Ekiseera bwe kigenda kiyitawo, kino kiyinza n’okuleeta embeera ng’okwennyamira .

Jjukira: Eddoboozi lyo lya muwendo. Tokisirisa!

Kiki ekibaawo singa oba osusse okubeera omukambwe?

Abo abeeyisa obusungu emirundi mingi kibazibuwalira okukuuma emikwano emirungi. Bwe bafuga emboozi n’okukaka endowooza zaabwe ku balala, baleka abantu nga bawulira nga tebatunuuliddwa era nga tebassibwamu kitiibwa.

Wadde ng’omusono ogw’obusungu guyinza okufuna omuntu ky’ayagala mu bbanga ettono, gutera okuvaako abalala okugaanibwa oba okunyiiga. Mu nkomerero, bannaabwe tebafuna kitiibwa.

Lwaki buli muntu si mukakafu?

Lwaki abantu abamu baddukira mu nneeyisa ey’obutakola oba ey’obusungu? Ensonga enkulu ye muntu . Emize gyaffe n’ebyo bye tuyitamu mu bulamu nabyo bikola kinene. Tutera okuyiga okubeera abataliiko kye bakola, abakola obusungu oba abanywevu nga twetegereza abantu abatwetoolodde naddala abo abaatukuza.

Wano waliwo ensonga lwaki omuntu ayinza okuba nga akola passive :

• Obutaba na kwekkiririzaamu oba okunyooma endowooza zaabwe.
• Okwetaaga okuyitiridde okusanyusa abalala oba okusiimibwa buli muntu.
• Okweraliikirira engeri abalala gye banaakwatamu endowooza zaabwe, oba okutya okugaanibwa.
• Okuwulira ennyo okunenya, oba ebyafaayo by’okubeera n’enneewulira zaabwe nga zigobeddwa oba okubonaabona n’okugaanibwa .
• Obutabeera na bukugu obukulaakulanye mu kumanya engeri y’okubeera omukakafu.

Ensonga ezireetera omuntu okubeera omukambwe ennyo mulimu:

• Okwesiga ennyo oba okwegulumiza.
• Okussa essira erisukkiridde ku byetaago byabwe n’okwagala okukaka abalala okwagala kwabwe.
• Okulemererwa okuyiga engeri y‟okussa ekitiibwa oba okulowooza ku byetaago n‟endowooza z‟abalala.
• Obutabeera na kwegezaamu mu kuwuliriza n’obunyiikivu n’okusaba abalala ebiteeso.

Bino bye biyamba omuntu okugenda mu maaso n'okubeera omukakafu mu butuufu :

• Okubeera n’okwesiga okw’amaanyi .
• Okukkiriza nti ebirowoozo byo n’enneewulira zo bituufu era nti olina eddembe okubyogera.
• Okugumira embeera —obusobozi okukwata okunenya, okugaanibwa, n’okuddirira mu ngeri ey’ekitiibwa.
• Okussa ekitiibwa mu bye baagala n’ebyetaago by’abalala.
• Okubeera n ‟ekyokulabirako ekirungi eky‟okukakasa.
• Okumanya nti ebirowoozo byo n’empuliziganya yo ey’okukakasa bibadde bya muwendo mu biseera eby’emabega.

Oyinza otya okweyongera okubeera omukakafu?

Okufuuka omukakafu kizingiramu okwegezaamu mu mpuliziganya n’okukulaakulanya endowooza ennungi. Wadde ng’abantu abamu mu butonde bakakafu, abalala bayinza okwetaagisa okwegezaamu ennyo . Kyokka buli muntu asobola okulongoosa mu bukugu buno.

Laba engeri y'okukikola:

Okusooka, fumiitiriza ku ngeri gy’oyogeramu kati —osinga kukola kintu kyonna, mukambwe, oba osinga kwekakasa? Salawo oba olina okukendeeza ku butakola, okukendeeza ku busungu bwo oba okwongera okutumbula engeri zo ez’obutonde ez’okwekakasa.

Okukendeeza ku passive n’okwongera ku assertiveness:

• Beera mu birowoozo ku birowoozo byo, enneewulira zo, n’ebyo by’oyagala. Bino ggwe kennyini olina okubimanya nga tonnabitegeeza balala.
• Weetegereze singa otera okuddamu ebibuuzo nti "Simanyi," "Sirina buzibu," oba "Kyonna kirungi." Mulekere awo okukola kino. Weegezeemu okulaga by’oyagala, ne mu bintu ebitonotono. Okugeza, singa obuuzibwa nti, "Oyagala nnyo eya kiragala oba eya kiragala?" oyinza okugamba nti, "Nze nsinga kwagala eya kiragala —mwebale."
• Weegezeemu okusaba. Okugeza: "Nsaba onyiteko ekijiiko?" "Nze nneetaaga ekkalaamu; waliwo alina sipeeya?" "Nsaba nsobole okufuna ekifo?" Kino kizimba obwesige bwe weetaaga okusaba okusingawo okw’amakulu oluvannyuma.
• Yogera endowooza yo . Gamba endowooza yo ku firimu oba ku mulamwa, era onnyonnyole ensonga lwaki owulira bw’otyo.
• Weegezeemu okukozesa "I-statements" nga "Njagala...", "Njagala...", oba "Nze mpulira...".
• Funa ekyokulabirako era nga yeekakasa —omuntu atali muntu asikaasikanya era atali mukambwe ekisusse. Laba oba osobola okulaga engeri zaabwe ezisinga obulungi.
• Wejjukize nti ebirowoozo byo n’endowooza zo bikulu nnyo ng’eby’abantu abalala bonna. Okutegeera omugaso gwo gwe musingi gw’okukakasa, ogutebenkeza okwewa ekitiibwa n’okussa ekitiibwa mu balala.

Okukendeeza ku busungu n’okwongera ku kwekakasa:

• Muwe ekifo abalala okwogera.
• Kebera oba osalako abalala. Bw'oba weekwata ng'okikola, gamba bugambe nti, "Oh, nsonyiwa —nsaba ogende mu maaso," era omuntu omulala aleke amale.
• Saba endowooza z’abalala era owulirize mu bwesimbu bye baddamu.
• Bwe muba temukkiriziganya, gezaako okukyogera nga tonyooma munno. Mu kifo ky'okugamba nti, "Ekyo kirowoozo kya busirusiru," gezaako nti, "Mu butuufu sikkiriziganya na nkola eyo." Mu kifo ky'okulumba empisa z'omuntu, essira lisse ku nneeyisa: "Mpulira nga tebalowooza ku ndowooza z'abalala."
• Funa ekyokulabirako agerageranya obulungi okwekakasa era fuba okulaga enkola yaabwe ey’ekitiibwa.

N’abo mu butonde abakakafu basobola okusigala nga balongoosa:

• Weeyongere okunoonya abantu b'oyinza okukoppa . Okuyiga nkola ya bulamu bwo bwonna, awatali kulowooza ku ntandikwa yo!
• Laba ddi lw'osinga okubeera omukakafu . Abantu beeyisa mu ngeri ya njawulo mu mbeera ez’enjawulo. Abasinga kiba kyangu okubeera abakakafu n’emikwano naye nga balwanagana n’abantu ab’obuyinza oba abapya be bamanyi. Bw'oyolekagana n'embeera esoomooza, weebuuze nti, "Kino nnandikikwata ntya singa mba njogera ne mukwano gwange omukulu?"

Okuwuliziganya n’obwegendereza kiraga nti weesiga. Okuzimba okwekakasa ddaala ddene nnyo mu kufuuka omuntu wo asinga obulungi!

Obubaka bwo obw’okutwala awaka

Nsuubira kati olina okutegeera okulungi ku assertiveness. Jjukira nti kino tekibaawo kiro kimu. Kyokka, bw’ogenda okwegezaamu, mazima ddala ojja kulaba enkyukakyuka ennungi.

• Enneewulira zo, ebirowoozo byo, n’ebyetaago byo bituufu. Tobikweka.
• Tobeera muyitirivu wadde omukambwe. Emisono gyombi girina ebizibu byabwe.
• Okwekakasa kitegeeza okwogera mu bwesimbu ate ng’ossa ekitiibwa mu ggwe n’abalala.
• Tandika mu butono. Weegezeemu ng'oyogera ebintu ebyangu nga, "Mu butuufu eno nsinga kwagala eyo."
• Wuliriza bulungi abalala. Okwekakasa (assertiveness) mboozi ya ngeri bbiri, so si ku ddoboozi lyo lyokka.
• Towulira musango singa okola ensobi oba nga weetaaga okugamba nti "nedda."

Gezaako okuyingiza emize gino emitonotono mu bulamu bwo obwa bulijjo. Mu bbanga ttono ojja kulaba ng’omukwano gwammwe gutereera n’okuwulira emirembe mingi munda yo. Mugende bulungi okuva ewa Nirogi Lanka!

Empuliziganya, Obulamu bw’obwongo , Okwekakasa, Okwesiga, Enkolagana wakati w’abantu, Enzirukanya y’enneewulira , Obulamu obulungi