Ese ufite ubwoba ko umwana wawe na we azakoresha ibiyobyabwenge? Reka tuvuge kuri iki kibazo giteje akaga (Ibiyobyabwenge)!

Iyo dutekereje ku bana bacu muri iyi minsi, ubwoba bukomeye butuza mu mutwe ni iki cyorezo cy’ibiyobyabwenge. Si byo se? Birateye ubwoba cyane no kubitekerezaho rimwe na rimwe. None se twakiza dute abana bacu ibi? Uburyo bwiza kandi bwiza bwo kubikora ni ukuganira n’abana bacu ku mugaragaro kandi mu buryo buboneye kuva bakiri bato. Reka turebe uko twabikora neza.

Kuki twagombye kuganira n'abana bacu ku bijyanye n'ibiyobyabwenge?

Mu magambo make, nitwigisha abana bacu ukuri ku bijyanye n'ibi biyobyabwenge n'akaga kabyo mbere yuko bahura n'ibintu biteje akaga, bizaba ingirakamaro cyane mu kubakiza akaga gakomeye. Icyo gihe ntibazagerageza ibiyobyabwenge gusa , cyangwa ngo bumve inshuti zabo kandi babashyiremo amakuru atari yo. Tekereza nawe, uri urugero rwiza ku mwana wawe. Uri "intwari" ye. Bityo rero, uburyo utekereza ku nzoga, itabi, n'ibiyobyabwenge, uburyo ubibona, bigira ingaruka ku buryo umwana wawe abitekerezaho, n'uburyo abyitwaramo. Kubwibyo, iyo usanzwe uganira n'umwana wawe ku bintu nk'ubuzima, umutekano, n'ingeso nziza, ni ngombwa cyane ko kuvuga kuri ibi biyobyabwenge ari igice cy'ingenzi cyabyo.

Ni gute waganira n'umwana muto ku bijyanye n'ibiyobyabwenge?

Nubwo umwana wawe yaba akiri muto, nk'imyaka 5 cyangwa 6, hari amahirwe menshi yo kuganira kuri ibi. Tubyita "ibihe byo kwigishwa." Tekereza, iyo mureba televiziyo hamwe nk'umuryango, niba ubona umukinnyi uri mu ifoto cyangwa filime anywa itabi, icyo gihe ni cyiza cyo kuganira ku kunywa itabi. Vuga ikintu cyoroshye nka "Mwana wanjye, reba nyirarume anywa itabi. Ese uzi ububi bwaryo ku mubiri wawe? Rituma utera inkorora kandi rigatera igituza kubabara." Hanyuma, ushobora kujyana iyo nkuru mu bindi biyobyabwenge, ugasobanura uburyo byangiza umubiri wawe n'uburyo bifite uburozi ku mubiri wawe.

Igikuru ni uko iyo uvuga, ugomba kuvuga utuje, ubugwaneza, kandi ubigiranye urukundo . Koresha amagambo yoroshye umwana yumva. Vuga ibintu nk'ibi: "Ibi ntabwo ari byiza ku mubiri, mwana wanjye/umukobwa. Iyo tubifashe, umubiri wacu urarwara, turacika intege, kandi ntidushobora kubikina." Sobanura ko ibiyobyabwenge ari ikintu kibi cyane, kandi bishobora guteza ibibazo byinshi atari ku mubiri gusa, ahubwo no ku bwonko bwacu. Kuva mu bwana, niba umuntu agerageje kumuha ikintu giteje akaga cyangwa kitamenyerewe azi, mwigishe kwanga mu kuvuga muti 'Simbishaka!' hanyuma mugende. Ibyo ni ingenzi cyane. Tekereza kuri ibyo, niba ari igikinisho, niba umuntu utazi aguhaye, ni kimwe no kuvuga ati 'Oh, sinshaka, mama/papa yanze.'

Ibintu ugomba kuzirikana mu gihe uganira n'umwana uri hagati y'imyaka 8-12

Uko abana bagenda bakura, bari hagati y'imyaka 8 na 12, bashobora kuba barumvise ikintu kijyanye n'ibiyobyabwenge. Ku ishuri, ku nshuti, mu ishuri, cyangwa kuri televiziyo, cyangwa kuri interineti. Rero, iyo utangiye ikiganiro, ibaze uti 'Mwana wanjye, ni iki wumvise ku bijyanye n'ibiyobyabwenge, ku bijyanye n'ibiyobyabwenge, kuri marijuana? Inshuti zawe zivuga iki?' Ariko iyo ubajije , ntukabaze mu buryo bwo gucira urubanza cyangwa bwo gukeka .Ntukamutere ubwoba cyangwa ngo umutere ubwoba umubaza ibibazo nka 'Kuki wabibajije?', 'Ni nde wabikubwiye?'. Mubaze utuje cyane, mu buryo bweruye, kandi nk'aho uri inshuti ye magara. Icyo gihe ni bwo azabasha kukubwira ukuri no gusangira ikiri mu mutima we.

Menyesha umwana wawe ko urimo gutega amatwi witonze ibyo avuga. Agomba kumenya ko umwitayeho ku bibazo bye, ubwoba bwe, n'amatsiko ye. Ushobora gukenera gukora ubushakashatsi no gusoma kugira ngo usubize ibibazo bye kandi utange amakuru y'ukuri. Nta kibazo, ni ingenzi. Abana bari muri iki kigero cy'imyaka (8-12) akenshi baba bashaka kuganira ku ngingo z'ingenzi n'ababyeyi babo, kandi barazikeneye. Kubivugaho ubu bizamufasha gukomeza gufungurira amarembo yo gusangira nawe ikiri mu mutima we igihe azaba akuze gato, ni ukuvuga umuntu mukuru ukiri muto .

Tekereza, niba ikinyamakuru cyangwa inkuru ivuga ko abakinnyi b'ibyamamare bafashwe bakoresheje ibintu bibujijwe nka `(Steroids),' ushobora kubikoresha nk'amahirwe meza yo gutangiza ikiganiro. Binyuze muri ibyo, ushobora kumenyesha umwana wawe ingaruka mbi z'ibiyobyabwenge n'ingaruka mbi bishobora gutera. Ushobora kuvuga ibintu nk'ibi, 'Reba, mwana wanjye, ibiba iyo ufashe ibi bintu. Ugomba gukora cyane no kwitoza, ntufate inzira ngufi nk'izi, sibyo? Ntabwo ari byiza ku mubiri wawe, kandi bizakwangiza ahazaza hawe.'

Uburyo bwo kuganira n'umwana wawe w'ingimbi ku bijyanye n'ibiyobyabwenge

Uko umwana wawe aba ingimbi, ni ukuvuga nyuma y'imyaka 13, hari amahirwe menshi ko inshuti ze zikoresha inzoga n'ibiyobyabwenge. Nanone, iki ni cyo gihe inshuti ze zitangira gutwara imodoka. Akunda kujya mu birori no kujya mu ngendo. Rero, muri iki gihe, ugomba kuganira n'umwana wawe atari ukugira ngo wumve ibitekerezo bye n'ibyiyumvo bye gusa, ahubwo no kugira ngo umuganirize neza ku ngaruka zo gutwara imodoka anyoye inzoga cyangwa ibiyobyabwenge .

"Mwana wanjye, ibi ni bibi cyane kurusha uko ubitekereza. Tekereza gato, niba wowe cyangwa undi muntu mutwaye imodoka mwasinze, ni ayahe mahitamo yo gutakaza ubuzima, gukomereka bikomeye, cyangwa gutakaza amaguru n'amaboko? Si ibyo gusa, ahubwo hari n'ibibazo bikomeye by'amategeko - kujya muri gereza, kwishyura amande menshi, no kutabona akazi ." Sobanura ibi bintu neza, ariko atari mu burakari, ahubwo mu rukundo.

Ushobora kugirana amasezerano yanditse cyangwa mu magambo n'umwana wawe ku mategeko agomba gukurikizwa mu gihe usohoka cyangwa ukoresha imodoka. Urugero, sezerana uti "Niba umuntu wari ushinzwe kugutwara (urugero, inshuti) anywa cyangwa anywa ibiyobyabwenge saa sita z'ijoro, saa kumi n'ebyiri cyangwa saa mbiri z'ijoro cyangwa ikindi kintu cyose, nzaza kugutwara nta kibazo, muhamagare gusa." Ibi bizaha umwana wawe icyizere n'umutekano muri wowe.

Kuri iyi myaka, bashobora kukubaza ibibazo birambuye ku bijyanye n'ibiyobyabwenge.. Nka 'Bigenda bite iyo unywa urumogi?', 'Urubura ni iki?'. Muri icyo gihe, utiriwe ubyirinda, sobanura neza ibyo uzi n'ibyo wamenye. Iyo usobanuye ibyo witeze n'uko uhagaze muri ubu buryo kuva mu ntangiriro, umwana yumva afite umutekano wo kuza aho uri akakubwira ikintu icyo ari cyo cyose, no kukubwira niba hari ikibazo.

Ni iki kindi nakora kugira ngo ndinde abana banjye ibiyobyabwenge?

Reba, iki kibazo cy'ibiyobyabwenge gishobora kugira ingaruka ku muryango uwo ari wo wose, ku muntu uwo ari we wese mu rwego urwo ari rwo rwose rw'umuryango. Ntugatekereze uti 'Ntabwo bizagera ku muryango wacu, ntabwo bizagera ku mwana wanjye.' Ibyo ni akaga. Ariko, niba uganira n'abana bawe buri gihe, niba ufite uruhare mu buzima bwabo, niba uri nk'inshuti yabo, ushobora kubafasha kubarinda aka kaga. Dore izindi nama zo kubigeraho:

H3: Gushyigikira inyungu z'umwana

Shishikariza umwana wawe kwitabira imyidagaduro, siporo, cyangwa amatsinda amushimisha. Ibi bikorwa bitanga imikoranire myiza n'abandi, amahugurwa y'ubuyobozi, kandi bikamuhesha agaciro . Iyo umwana yishimye kandi akumva afite agaciro, ntakunze kwishora mu myitwarire mibi nk'ibiyobyabwenge.

H3: Menya inshuti z'umwana wawe n'aho ahurira

Ni ingenzi cyane kumenya inshuti z'umwana wawe, uko bameze, aho bamarana igihe kinini, n'icyo bakorana. Kuko abana bafite inshuti zikoresha ibiyobyabwenge bashobora kugerageza ibiyobyabwenge ubwabo . Ibi ntibivuze ko ugomba gukeka buri nshuti. Ariko ni byiza kuba maso. Niba bishoboka, jyana inshuti z'umwana wawe mu rugo, uganire na zo, kandi umenye ababyeyi be.

H3: Bigishe kuvuga 'oya' no kubafasha kugera mu rugo mu mutekano

Niba hari umuntu ugerageza kuguha ibiyobyabwenge, itabi cyangwa inzoga, mwigisha umwana wawe uburyo bwo kwanga. Itoze kuvuga uti "Oya, sinshaka, sinshobora kubyakira, ababyeyi banjye ntibabikunda." Nanone, niba agize ibibazo, agafatirwa ahantu adashobora kuguma, cyangwa akeneye kugenda, mubwire aguhamagare cyangwa akwandikire ubutumwa bugufi. Muhe icyizere cy'uko ati "Nzaza kugutwara, nta kibazo nzakubaza, ntugire ubwoba."

Ibuka: Niba umwana wawe aguhamagaye ngo umufashe, ntukamutonge, ntukamucyahe cyangwa ngo umuhane. Banza umujyane mu rugo amahoro. Amaze gutuza, vuga utuje kandi mu rukundo.

H3: Gushyiraho ibidukikije bishyushye kandi bifunguye mu muryango

Uko urugo rurushaho kuba rwiza, rufunguye kandi rukunda ibidukikije, ni ko birushaho kuba byiza. Ibyo bivuze ko urugo rwawe rugomba kuba ahantu abana bashobora kuvugana mu bwisanzure ku byiyumvo byabo, ibibazo byabo, intsinzi zabo, n'ibyo batsinzwe. Shimira intsinzi ntoya batsinze, kandi wubake agaciro kabo.. Hanyuma abana bazaza gusangira nawe ibibazo byabo n'imitwaro bafite mu mutwe. Mu gace banenga, banenga kandi banenga buri kintu cyose, abana bagerageza kwihisha no kubeshya.

H3: Gukoresha uburyo bwawe bwa buri munsi mu kuganira n'umwana wawe.

Guma uvugana n'umwana wawe buri gihe mu munsi. Baza utubazo duto nka "Ishuri ryari rimeze rite?", "Ni iki cyari kidasanzwe uyu munsi?", "Wakoranye iki n'inshuti zawe?" Shaka umwanya wo gukora ibintu mwishimira hamwe nk'umuryango (kurya, gukina, gusoma igitabo). Ibi bikomeza umubano hagati ya buri wese kandi bifasha gukomeza kuganira neza. Hari igihe abana bakunda kuganira mu buryo bworoshye mu gihe bakora ikindi kintu, nko mu gihe batwaye imodoka, mugendana, cyangwa mukora imirimo yo mu rugo. Koresha neza ibyo bihe.

H3: Witondere ibihe bigoye umwana wawe arimo.

Niba ubonye ko umwana wawe arimo ahura n'ibibazo cyangwa niba ubonye impinduka mu myitwarire ye, jya ubyitondera. Ahari afite stress cyangwa agahinda bitewe n'ikizamini, ikibazo afitanye n'inshuti ye, umubano w'urukundo, cyangwa indi mpamvu. Bahe ubufasha bakeneye muri icyo gihe, ubafashe kumva ko atari bonyine, kandi ubone ubundi bufasha nibiba ngombwa (urugero: umujyanama w'ishuri, umuntu mukuru wizeye, umuganga). Iyo umwana yumva ari wenyine kandi akumva ko nta muntu umusobanukiwe, aba ashobora kwishora mu bintu bibi, nko gukoresha ibiyobyabwenge.

H3: Shaka inama kwa muganga nibiba ngombwa.

Niba wowe cyangwa umwana wawe mukeneye amakuru cyangwa ubuyobozi kuri iyi miti, kandi mudafite uwo muvugana, vugana na muganga w’umuryango wawe . Bashobora kukwereka inzira ikwiye, bakakugira inama, ndetse wenda bakakwereka umujyanama mwiza. Ibi nta mpamvu yo kugira isoni cyangwa ubwoba. Ikintu cy’ingenzi ni ugutekereza ku hazaza h’abana bacu.

Amaherezo, ibintu by'ingenzi cyane ugomba kwibuka (Ubutumwa bwo kujyana mu rugo)

Nibyo, ukurikije ibyo twavuze, bikwiye kuba bumvikana neza uburyo ababyeyi tugomba gukora mu buryo burangwa n'ubwitonzi, ubwumvikane, kandi mu rukundo kugira ngo dukize abana bacu iki kibazo cy’ibiyobyabwenge.

• Gushyikirana mu buryo bwuje ubuntu ni ingenzi . Huza icyizere hagati yawe n'umwana wawe umubwira ikintu icyo ari cyo cyose kandi umutege amatwi nta guca ku ruhande.
• Ba icyitegererezo cyiza . Uburyo utekereza ku biyobyabwenge, inzoga n'itabi, ndetse niba ubikoresha cyangwa utabikoresha, bigira ingaruka zikomeye ku mwana wawe.
• Vuga mu buryo bujyanye n'imyaka y'umwana . Ntabwo ari uko wavugana n'umwana muto, ahubwo uvuge n'umwana muto. Mu buryo bworoshye, mu buryo bashobora kumva.
• Tega amatwi witonze ibyo umwana wawe avuga . Gabanura ibibazo bye n'ubwoba afite, kandi umumenyeshe ko hari umuntu umuteze amatwi.
• Igisha umwana wawe kuvuga 'oya'Kandi ubahe ubutumwa bw'uko uriho kugira ngo ubafashe nibahura n'ibibazo, icyo cyizere.
• Shyira umuryango mu buryo burangwa n'urukundo, ubushyuhe, kandi bushyigikirana . Icyo gihe abana bawe bazagusangiza byose, kandi amahirwe yo kutagenda neza azaba make.
• Ntugatinye gushaka ubufasha bw'inzobere mu gihe bibaye ngombwa . Abaganga n'abajyanama barahari kugira ngo badufashe.

Iki si ikintu gishobora gukorwa mu ijoro rimwe. Iki ni igikorwa cy'igihe kirekire kandi gihoraho. Ariko, hamwe n'imbaraga zawe, urukundo, n'ubwitange, uzashobora gukiza umwana wawe iki kibazo cy'ibiyobyabwenge. Ntugahangayike, ntabwo uri wenyine, twese dufatanye kubigeraho! Umwana wawe agire umutekano!

Ibiyobyabwenge , abana, ababyeyi, itumanaho, ikoreshwa nabi ry'ibiyobyabwenge, umutekano, ubujyanama