Reka tuvuge ku ngendo zijyanye n'ihungabana ry'ibiruhuko.

Ese witeguye kujya mu cyaro mu birori by'Umwaka Mushya cyangwa Noheli? Ese utegereje kumara iminsi mikuru wishimye, uterana n'umuryango n'inshuti za kera, urya ibisuguti biryoshye bivuye mu maboko ya nyoko? Ariko rimwe na rimwe, iyo iyi minsi mikuru yegereje, ushobora kuba utishimye, ahubwo ukumva ufite stress nyinshi n'agahinda. Mu by'ukuri, niba uri umuntu wumva ubabaye kandi ufite stress mu minsi mikuru, no kujya mu rugendo bishobora kutumvikana nk'inzozi, ahubwo nk'ibintu biteye ubwoba bibabaza umutima wawe. Rero, uyu munsi turaganira ku buryo wagendana n'ihungabana riterwa n'iyi minsi mikuru.

Ni iki ushobora kwitega mu rugendo ufite ihungabana?

Nk’uko bivugwa na Philip Maskin, umwarimu w’indwara zo mu mutwe muri Kaminuza ya Columbia, ingendo zigira ingaruka ku muntu mu buryo butandukanye.

Ku ruhande rumwe, kwimukira ahantu hashya bishobora kugufasha cyane. Tekereza uri ahantu hashya, uri mu biruhuko, kandi ntugomba kubyuka saa kumi n'ebyiri za mu gitondo kugira ngo ujye ku biro. Muri ubu buryo bushya, ibintu byinshi bigutera stress bizagabanuka. Kubwibyo, ushobora kumva uruhutse cyane kubera ibihe byiza byo mu biruhuko.

Ariko ku rundi ruhande, ingendo muri iyi minsi ziragoye cyane kurusha uko byari bimeze mbere. Dutekereza ko "urugendo ruzagenda neza." Ariko si ko bigenda. Hari igihe tugomba kwicara mu muhanda w'imodoka mu mujyi amasaha menshi, cyangwa tugategereza imirongo miremire ku kibuga cy'indege. Indege ni nke ugereranyije na mbere, ndetse n'izikora ziba zuzuye abantu, kandi ikibuga cy'indege kiba cyuzuye abantu benshi.

Mu magambo make, iyo wihebye, kwihanganira gucika intege biba biri hasi cyane. Rero, n'ikintu gito nko gutinda k'urugendo rwawe bituma bikugora gutekereza uti "Oh, icyo ni ikintu gito."

Ihungabana ry'Iminsi Mikuru: Fata Ubushobozi bwo Kwigenzura

"Aho ujya hose, ni ngombwa kwitegura neza," uyu ni wo mushinga w'ubuvuzi bw'imitekerereze ya muntu witwa Helen Grusd. "Iyi gahunda ni yo rukingo rwiza rwo kurwanya stress."

Iyi myiteguro ntabwo ari iyo kwitegura kwambara imyenda. "Ugomba kuba witeguye mu mutwe. Ni gute wakwiha imbaraga zo kugenzura iki kibazo?"

Intambwe ya mbere ni ukumenya neza intego y'urugendo rwawe. "Ugiye kongera guhura n'umuryango? Cyangwa ugiye kuruhuka no kwishimisha gusa?" Hanyuma, ugomba gukomeza kwibwira uti: "Ngiye gutuma uru rugendo rugenda neza."

Grusz aravuga ngo wibuke iyi nteruro nk'amagambo yo kwisubiraho. "Ibintu bishobora kubaho udashobora kubigenzura. Ariko ugomba kwitegura gutekereza uti 'Ngenzura byose nshobora kugenzura.'" Iyo wihebye, iyo hari ikintu kitagenda neza, wumva udashobora kugenzura ikintu icyo ari cyo cyose. Ariko ushobora kubona ibintu nk'ikibazo. Hanyuma ushobora kwishimira icyo kibazo, aho kumva nk'uwahohotewe.

Akamaro ko kwishyiriraho intego mbere yo kugenda

Porofeseri Maskin akugira inama yo gushyiraho intego zimwe na zimwe z'ikiruhuko cyawe. "Banza utekereze ku bintu uzakunda muri uru rugendo. Hanyuma wishyirireho intego wowe ubwawe n'umuryango wawe. Ibaze wowe n'umukunzi wawe muti 'Ni iki twifuza muri uru rugendo?' "

Ariko, intego wishyiriyeho zigomba kugerwaho. Urugero, niba ugiye kuroba, intego yawe ni ukuroba ifi nini mu nyanja, cyangwa ni ukuruhuka no kwishimira urugendo hamwe n'umukunzi wawe cyangwa abana bawe? Niba hari icyo yungukira mu biruhuko byanyu, cyane cyane niba ari ikintu mushobora gusangira n'abandi bo mu muryango wanyu, ushobora kwibanda kuri iyo ntego. Icyo gihe ntuzahugira mu bindi bintu bitari ngombwa cyane.

Ibyiza byo gutegura mbere y'igihe

Ku bantu bafite ikibazo cyo kwiheba mu biruhuko, gutegura mbere y’igihe bishobora kugabanya imihangayiko n’ibibazo. Niba ugiye mu rugendo, teganya ko byoroha uko bishoboka kose, nk’uko bivugwa n’umuhanga mu by’imitekerereze ya muntu Elaine Rodino.

• Hitamo kugenda mu minsi abantu benshi baba bake.
• Gutanga itike y'indege mu gihe gito cy'abantu benshi ku kibuga cy'indege.
• Menya neza ikirere mbere y'igihe. Baza ibigo by'indege politiki yabyo yo gusubizwa amafaranga niba ingendo z'indege zihagaritswe.

Rodino agira ati: “Muri ubwo buryo ushobora kwirinda gufungirwa ku kibuga cy’indege amasaha 18, kuko ibyo bishobora gutuma umuntu umaze kwiheba arushaho kwiyongera.”

Nanone, teganya gusinzira neza mbere y'urugendo rwawe, urye ifunguro ryiza kandi rifite intungamubiri , kandi uzanire utuntu two kurya mu rugendo.

Bite se niba atari 'Ibihe by'Iminsi Mikuru' gusa?

Mu gihe wishyiriraho intego no gutegura, ni ngombwa gutekereza ku byishimo by'urugendo mbere y'igihe. "Ariko hari igihe abantu baba bari mu bihe bikomeye byo kwiheba ku buryo badashobora no gutekereza ku kintu icyo ari cyo cyose gishimishije. Iyo ibyo bibaye, ni ngombwa kubiganiraho n'umukunzi wawe," Maskin agira ati. "Cyangwa ni ngombwa cyane kuvugana n'inshuti yawe ya hafi, umujyanama mu by'idini, cyangwa umujyanama mu by'ubuzima bwo mu mutwe , ari we muganga wawe."

Ihungabana ry’ihungabana ni indwara, kandi hari uburyo bwo kuyivura. Muskin ashimangira ati: "Ariko hari abantu badashaka gusaba ubufasha, batekereza ko ari ikimenyetso cy'intege nke. Birateye ubwoba." Niba utekereza ko gusaba ubufasha ari ikimenyetso cy'intege nke, tekereza kuri ibi: Ndetse n'abakinnyi beza ku isi bafite abatoza. Ntibagira isoni zo gusaba ubufasha. Umujyanama mu by'ubuzima bwo mu mutwe , kimwe na muganga wawe, ni umufasha ukomeye.

Kugira indwara yo kwiheba ntibivuze ko udashobora gukomeza. Ariko ni ngombwa gukomeza gukora ibintu bigufasha kumva umeze neza. Ugomba gufata agakarita gato kagaragaza imbaraga zawe n'uburyo bwo guhangana n'ikibazo ukoresha kugira ngo ukomeze kugira imbaraga zo mu mutwe . Ibi bishobora kuba nko gutembera, kumva umuziki, kunywa ikirahure cy'amazi, cyangwa kuganira n'inshuti. Reba ikarita kenshi kandi wiyibutse ko ushobora kuyigenzura. Nanone, niba ufite imiti usanzwe ufata, menya neza ko uyifata ku gihe .

Ukora iki umaze kugera aho ugiye?

Hari impamvu nyinshi zishobora gutuma wumva ubabaye nubwo waba ugeze aho ugiye. Dore inama zimwe na zimwe zagufasha.

Koresha uburyo bwa 'HALT'.

Ihe uburenganzira bwo kuvuga "oya" ku bintu udashaka. Twese turavuga "yego" kuri byose kuko dushaka gushimisha buri wese. Ariko ibyo bijyana gusa no kurimbuka. Koresha ijambo "HALT" kugira ngo uhore ugenzura uko umerewe.

Iyo umaze kumenya uko umerewe, ushobora kuvuga uti “Ndananiwe gato, ngiye kuryama gato” cyangwa “Sinkora ibi.” Hanyuma ushobora guhitamo ibintu ukunda ukirinda ibyo udakunda.

Izindi nama nke

• Itoze Gukoresha Imyitwarire: Ibintu nko guhaguruka no gutembera, kumva umuziki, no guseka n'abantu bose bishobora gutuma wumva umerewe neza.
• Baho mu gihe cy'ubu: Iyo imiryango iteraniye hamwe mu biruhuko, inzika za kera n'amarangamutima mabi bishobora kugaragara. Tekereza uti: "Uyu ni we muntu uri hano, ntabwo ari uwo wari we mu myaka 20 ishize." Ibande ku muntu uri we ubu.
• Genzura ibyo urya n'inzoga: Iminsi mikuru yuzuyemo ibiryo n'ibinyobwa biryoshye. Keke ya mama, ibisuguti biryoshye ... Ibwire uti "Nzarya ibi bike, ariko si igihe cyose." Nanone, witondere cyane inzoga unywa. Inzoga zishobora kukwangiza ibitotsi no kwangiza ibyiyumvo byawe. Niba uri gukira ubusinzi bw'inzoga, ni byiza kwirinda ibirori.
• Imyitozo ngororamubiri: Iminsi mikuru ni igihe cyo kwigirira neza. Ibyo bivuze ko atari ukurya neza gusa, ahubwo no kubyuka mu gitondo ugakora ibintu nko kwiruka cyangwa kugenda. Iyo witaye ku mubiri, ibyo ukeneye mu mutwe na byo bizagerwaho. Kugenda buri munsi bishobora kuba nk'umuti ugabanya ubukana kuri bamwe.