Iingcinezelo zobomi, okanye uxinzelelo, ziqhelekile kuthi sonke. Kodwa ukuba unesifo soxinzelelo, akulula ukubuyela kwimeko yoxinzelelo olunjalo. Xa ulahlekelwa ngumntu omthandayo, ulahlekelwa ngumsebenzi, okanye uqhawule umtshato, iimvakalelo zakho zokuba netyala kunye nokuphelelwa lithemba zinokukhula. Kodwa ungakhathazeki, kukho izinto onokuzenza ukuze woyise le meko.
"Kufuneka uqonde ukuba uza kuwela kuloo mngxuma umnyama kwakhona. Ngelo xesha, kufuneka ubuye umva," batsho oogqirha. "Ukucamngca, ukuqaphela, ukulala kakuhle, ukuhlala kude notywala, kunye nokuchitha ixesha nabantu abakukhathaleleyo ngokwenene zezona zinto ziya kukwenza ube namandla engqondweni. Hayi ngokucinga kakhulu ngokuthi 'Ndifuna ukusebenza nzima.'"
Nokuba yintoni na imbangela yokudakumba kwakho, ungayilawula. Apha, siza kuthetha ngezinye zezinto ezibangela ukudakumba okuqhelekileyo kunye nendlela onokunciphisa ngayo impembelelo yazo kuwe.
Ukulahlekelwa ngumsebenzi
Umsebenzi yinxalenye enkulu yobomi bethu. Xa ulahlekelwa ngumsebenzi wakho, ungalahlekelwa ngequbuliso lulonke uthungelwano lwabahlobo bakho kunye nabantu osebenza nabo. "Ukuzihlukanisa nabantu okuhamba nako kunokuba ngunobangela woxinzelelo," batsho oogqirha.
Wenza ntoni?
Zama ukulawula le meko. Hlaziya i-CV yakho (isicelo), kodwa kwangaxeshanye yiba bhetyebhetye. "Kusenokubakho amathuba emisebenzi amaninzi ngaphandle kwentsimi yakho kunokuba ucinga," zitsho iingcali. Mhlawumbi eli lixesha elifanelekileyo lokuphuma kwibhokisi yomsebenzi wakho wangoku kwaye ucinge ngezinye iindlela. Ukucinga ngokubanzi xa ufuna umsebenzi kunokukunceda uzive ulawula ngakumbi kwaye ungenakuncedakala .
Ukwaliwa
Akukho mntu uthanda ukuziva engafunwa. Kodwa ukwaliwa emsebenzini, kumhlobo, okanye kumntu omthandayo kunokunyusa uxinezeleko kwabanye abantu. Oku kuyinyani ngakumbi kwabo bane-Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria (RSD).
Wenza ntoni?
Sebenzisa indlela ebizwa ngokuba yi-"benefit-finding." Ngamafutshane, oku kufana nokukhangela "i-silver lining." Umzekelo, uphando lubonise ukuba abantu abaziva bedakumbile kangako xa becinga ngezinto ezintle zeendaba ezimbi, ezinje ngokulahlekelwa ngumsebenzi okanye ubudlelwane.
Iingxaki zomtshato okanye uqhawulo-mtshato
Ukuphela kobudlelwane kunzima kuye nabani na. Kunzima nokuba nguwe ogqibe kwelokuba ubuphelise okanye akunjalo. "Lindela ukuba kube nzima kancinci, nokuba ngabo abagqibe kwelokuba baqhawule umtshato," batsho oogqirha.
Wenza ntoni?
Kubaluleke kakhulu ukucwangcisa ikamva lakho nokuba nethemba ngalo. Ukuze wenze oku, jonga izinto ebomini bakho ezikunika ulwaneliseko olukhulu. Ungaze uzihlukanise nabantu obathandayo. Kubaluleke kakhulu ukuphepha ukuhlala wedwa emva koqhawulo-mtshato. Kukwaluncedo kakhulu ukufuna uncedo lomcebisi wosapho. Angakunceda uhlale kunye, okanye akuncede wenze inkqubo yokwahlukana ingabi buhlungu kangangoko kunokwenzeka.
Iingxaki zosapho
Yonke intsapho ineengxaki zayo, ezilungileyo nezimbi. Kodwa akufuneki ulwe nale micimbi wedwa.
Wenza ntoni?
Njengomzali, zininzi iindawo onokuya kuzo ukuze ufumane uncedo. Abacebisi beentsapho, amaqela oontanga, okanye abahlobo kunye nosapho. Oku kuyinyaniso kubantwana nakubantu abaselula. "Abantwana abasempilweni yengqondo ngabo banenethiwekhi yoluntu enamandla kakhulu ."
Zama ukuthintela iingxaki zosapho ngaphambi kokuba zivele. Thetha nabantwana bakho veki nganye. Buza ngesikolo, abahlobo babo, izinto abazithandayo nabangazithandiyo. "Oku kungenziwa ngaphakathi endlwini, njengaxa uphumile uyokwenza i-ayisikhrim okanye uhambahamba. Kodwa ukuba umntwana wakho uyazi ukuba umnika elo xesha, kunokuba ngumnyango omkhulu wokuba avuleke kancinci aze athethe."
| Izinto Eziqhelekileyo Ezibangela Uxinzelelo | Oko Unokukwenza |
|---|---|
| Ukulahlekelwa ngumntu omthandayo | Zinike ixesha lokulila. Ukuba intlungu yakho ihlala ixesha elingaphezu kweenyanga ezimbalwa, bonana nogqirha wakho. |
| Abantwana abashiya ikhaya (i-Empty Nest) | Ziqhelise ukucamngca ngengqondo. Zithandele okanye ufunde into entsha. |
| Utshintsho lwemozulu (i-Winter Blues) | Ukuzilolonga kubaluleke kakhulu. Thetha nogqirha wakho malunga nonyango olulula okanye ezinye iindlela. |
| Utshintsho kwihomoni | Landelela umjikelo wakho wokuya exesheni kunye neempawu. Buza ugqirha wakho malunga nonyango olunokukunceda. |
Ukulahlekelwa ngumntu omthandayo
Kuqhelekile ukuba buhlungu xa ulahlekelwe ngumntu osondeleyo kuwe. Kodwa intlungu nokudakumba zizinto ezimbini ezahlukeneyo. "Intlungu esebenzayo iyinto engaqhelekanga. Ithetha ukulila ngalo lonke ixesha, udandatheke kangangokuba awukwazi ukugxila kwinto ethile. Kodwa xa udandathekile, abantu abaninzi baziva bengento yanto ."
Wenza ntoni?
Nika ingqalelo kwiimpawu zakho. Ukuba awukwazi ukusebenza kakuhle, awukwazi ukuphuma ebhedini, okanye ubuziva ulusizi kangangeenyanga ezimbalwa, iingcali zithi, "lixesha lokufuna uncedo lobuchwephesha." Bona ugqirha wakho. Ingcebiso yosizi ingenziwa ngaphambi okanye emva kokulahlekelwa. Inokukunceda uqwalasele iimvakalelo zakho ezinzulu. Kwaye ungazibeki tyala ngokuthi, "Andizili kakuhle."
Isikhumbuzo sokulahlekelwa ngumntu sinokuba nzima. Kunokuba luncedo ukucwangcisa into ngaloo mini. Kungaba yinto elula njenge "xesha lokucamngca ngento awayeyithetha loo mntu kuwe," okanye kungaba yinto enkulu efana nokuhlanganisa usapho nabahlobo ukuze bathethe ngaloo mntu.
Uxinzelelo lokunyamekela isigulo okanye isigulane sexesha elide
Ngamanye amaxesha ukudakumba kungaba luphawu lwesifo esiqhubekayo. Ukuba uyagula, okanye ukuba unyamekela umntu omthandayo ogulayo, kulula ukuziva udiniwe engqondweni okanye emzimbeni.
Wenza ntoni?
Unokufumana imiyalezo ekuxelela ukuba "hlala unethemba." Kodwa kuqhelekile ukuziva ungonwabanga xa izinto ezimbi zisenzeka. "Zivumele uzive ngaloo ndlela."
Kodwa okubaluleke ngakumbi, cela uncedo . Xela kanye into oyifunayo. Mhlawumbi kukutya iintsuku ezimbalwa ngeveki. Okanye mhlawumbi udinga umntu oza kuhlala nomntu omthandayo ngelixa usiya ejimini. Musa ukuziva ngathi ungumthwalo. Abahlobo nosapho badla ngokukulungela ukunceda. Ukuba ubaxelela kanye into oyifunayo, inokuba "sisipho" kubo.
Usizi olunxulumene nemozulu (SAD)
Abantu abaninzi bafumana uxinzelelo olutsha okanye oluya lusiba mandundu njengoko amaxesha onyaka etshintsha. Oku kubizwa ngokuba yiSeasonal Affective Disorder (SAD).
Wenza ntoni?
Thetha nogqirha wakho. Usenokucebisa ukuba uzive ulula, uthethe ngonyango, okanye amayeza okudakumba. Umsebenzi womzimba, okanye umthambo, nawo unokwenza umahluko. "Umthambo licebo eliphambili. Linokwenza umahluko ngokwenene."
Ukusetyenziswa kweziyobisi notywala
Abantu abanesifo soxinzelelo banamathuba amaninzi okubhenela kwiziyobisi notywala. Kwakhona, ukuba nesifo sokusetyenziswa kweziyobisi (i-SUD) kunokwenza uxinzelelo lwakho kunye nezinye iimpawu zibe mandundu. Olu "budlelwane obujikelezayo."
Wenza ntoni?
Gcina ingxelo yakho yokusebenzisa iziyobisi rhoqo. "Abantu abasela kakhulu rhoqo, okanye ababenengxaki yokuxhomekeka kwixesha elidlulileyo, kufuneka babhale ingxelo yakho ukuqinisekisa ukuba ukusela kwabo kungaphakathi kwemida abazibekele yona kwaye akunyuki ngokuhamba kwexesha."
Ukuba unengxaki yokulawula ukusebenzisa kwakho iziyobisi okanye utywala, funa uncedo lweengcali. Umcebisi weziyobisi notywala oqinisekisiweyo (CADC) unokukunceda ukulawula ukudakumba kwakho kunye nokusebenzisa kwakho iziyobisi.
Umyalezo Wokuya Ekhaya
- Okokuqala, chonga into ebangela ukudakumba kwakho. Qonda ukuba yingxaki emsebenzini, ingxaki kubudlelwane, okanye enye into.
- Zama ukuba namandla engqondweni. Ukucamngca, ukulala kakuhle, ukuzilolonga, kunye nokuchitha ixesha nabantu abakuxhasayo kuya kunceda kakhulu kule nto.
- Kuqhelekile ukuziva ungonwabanga. Kodwa musa ukubambelela kwezo mvakalelo. Ungaze woyike ukucela uncedo.
- Ukuba ukufumanisa kunzima ukujongana nezi zinto wedwa, ungathandabuzi ukufuna uncedo kugqirha okanye kumcebisi ofanelekileyo . Yenye yezona zinto zinkulu onokuzenzela zona.
- Hlala unesiqhelo esisempilweni. Ukutya okunempilo, ukulala ngokwaneleyo, kunye nokuzilolonga rhoqo kubaluleke kakhulu kwimpilo yakho yengqondo.
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