Khawuthelekelele, xa yonke into ebomini bakho ihamba kakuhle, awuziva uvuyo. Yonke into ivakala ingenanto, ngokungathi awunakonwaba ngayo nantoni na. Yile nto uLorraine Bracco, umdlali weqonga odumileyo kwihlabathi liphela, wadibana nayo. Udlala indima yengcali yezengqondo kuthotho lweTV oluthi 'The Sopranos', kodwa yena ngokwakhe wayenengxaki yokudakumba ebomini bokwenyani. Ngebali lakhe, singathetha ngoxinzelelo uninzi lwethu esoyikayo ukuthetha ngalo, kodwa olukhoyo phakathi kwethu.
Ubumnyama obufike ngexesha elifanelekileyo ebomini
ULorraine Bracco udlule kwixesha elinzima kakhulu ebomini bakhe. Ujongene neengxaki ezininzi, ezinje ngokuqhawula umtshato nomyeni wakhe, idabi elide lokukhulisa umntwana, elamenza waphelelwa yimali, nentombi yakhe yafumana isifo esibi (iJuvenile Rheumatoid Arthritis). Kodwa okumangalisayo kukuba, waba nokudakumba emva kokuba zonke ezi ngxaki ziphelile kwaye ubomi bakhe babusiya buphucuka kwakhona. Wayenendima entle kuthotho lwe-'The Sopranos', kwaye yonke into yayihamba kakuhle.
Njengoko yena ngokwakhe esitsho, "Kangangeenyanga, ndaqonda ukuba andiziva nto. Kwakungekho vuyo entliziyweni yam. Ekugqibeleni, ndaqonda ukuba oku kwakungaqhelekanga, ukuba kukho into engalunganga kakhulu apha. Unyaka wobomi bam wawuphelile! Lixesha elide elo lokuba ndingaphilanga!"
Eyona nto ibalulekileyo esinokuyiqonda koku kukuba ukudakumba akupheleli nje ekuziveni ulusizi okanye into ebangelwa ziingxaki zobomi . Kunzima ngaphezu koko, yimeko yokwenyani yezonyango enxulumene neenkqubo zeekhemikhali ezikwingqondo yethu.
Yintoni umahluko phakathi koxinzelelo lwezonyango kunye nokudakumba okuqhelekileyo?
Sonke sifumana amaxesha apho siziva sidakumbile. Yinto eqhelekileyo leyo. Kodwa ukudakumba yinto eyahlukileyo. Kubalulekile ukuqonda lo mahluko.
| Uphawu | Usizi oluqhelekileyo | Uxinzelelo lwezonyango |
|---|---|---|
| Ubude bexesha | Idla ngokuphela emva kweentsuku ezimbalwa. | Ihlala ixesha elingaphezu kweeveki ezimbini ngexesha. Inokuhlala iinyanga okanye iminyaka. |
| Isizathu | Kudla ngokubakho isizathu esithile (umz., ukulahlekelwa ngumntu, ukulahlekelwa ngumsebenzi). | Mhlawumbi ngaphandle kwesizathu esicacileyo. |
| Ukukwazi ukonwaba | Nokuba uziva ulusizi, ungafumana ulonwabo oluncinci ngokuthetha nomhlobo wakho nokumamela ingoma emnandi. | I-Anhedonia kukungakwazi ukonwabela nantoni na obukade uyinandipha. Yonke into ivakala ingenanto. |
| Impembelelo kubomi bemihla ngemihla | Nangona kunzima kancinci, ungaqhubeka nemisebenzi yakho yesiqhelo. | Imisebenzi yemihla ngemihla (umsebenzi, isikolo, imisebenzi yasekhaya) iyachaphazeleka kangangokuba awukwazi ukuyenza. Usenokungaziva ufuna nokuvuka ebhedini. |
| Ezinye iimpawu | Ndiziva ndidakumbile kakhulu. | Utshintsho ebuthongweni (ukulala kakhulu okanye ukungalali), utshintsho ekutyeni, ukudinwa kakhulu, ukuziva kakubi ngawe, ubunzima bokugxila, iingcinga zokuzibulala. |
Amava kaLorraine afanayo. Uthi, "Ndimshiye umntwana wam esikolweni, ndenze yonke imisebenzi yasekhaya. Kodwa bendingaziva kakuhle." Abanye abantu abakwazi nokuvuka ebhedini xa bedandathekile. Abanye, njengoLorraine, banokwenza imisebenzi yabo yemihla ngemihla ngoomatshini, kodwa abaziva ubomi okanye uvuyo ngaphakathi.
"Ndandiziva ndinesizungu kakhulu kwaye ndililolo. Bendingonwabi ubomi konke konke. Bendisenza izinto nje. Bendicinga ukuba ubomi bam buya kuhlala bunje."
Musa ukoyika ukucela uncedo!
Njengabantu abaninzi, uLorraine wayethandabuza ukufuna uncedo ekuqaleni. Wayecinga ukuba ufanele akwazi ukulawula iimvakalelo zakhe eyedwa. Wayesoyika nokuba ukuthatha amayeza okudakumba kuya kumenza angakwazi ukwenza nantoni na.
Kodwa ekugqibeleni, xa waqonda ukuba akanakukwazi ukuphila ngolu hlobo, wagqiba ekubeni aye kubona ugqirha wengqondo ngoncedo lomhlobo wakhe. Njengoko esitsho,Ukuya kuloo ntlanganiso yokuqala yayilinyathelo elinzima.
"Yinyaniso, yayisoyikisa kakhulu. Kodwa yiloo xesha endathatha ulawulo lobomi bam. Endaweni yokuvumela intlungu yam, ukungonwabi kwam kulawule ubomi bam, ndakwazi ukuvumela amaphupha am alawule ubomi bam."
Lo ngumyalezo obaluleke kakhulu. Ukuya kugqirha akubonisi ubuthathaka, lelinye lamanyathelo anamandla onokuwathatha ukuze uthwale uxanduva lobomi bakho kwaye uzinyange.
Unyango kunye nokuchacha
Ugqirha kaLorraine wamphulaphula ngononophelo waza wamnika ixesha elaneleyo lokuthetha ngeempawu zakhe. Nangona ekuqaleni wayengafuni, wavuma ukuthatha amayeza okudakumba ngokwengcebiso kagqirha. Waqala nonyango/ukunika iingcebiso ngentetho.
Ngale ndlela yonyango, wafumanisa izizathu zobumnyama entliziyweni yakhe. Kancinci kancinci, wazifumana kwakhona. "Ndaziva umahluko omkhulu kubomi bam bemihla ngemihla. Kulapho ndaqala khona ukufumana unyango apho ndaqala khona indlela yokuchacha - endleleni yokuzifumana, ndingumntu."
Wathatha amayeza kangangeenyanga ezili-15. Waqhubeka nonyango lokuthetha kangangeminyaka emibini enesiqingatha. Okubaluleke kakhulu, ukudakumba kwakhe akuzange kubuye. Waphiliswa ngokupheleleyo.
La mava amncedile nakwimisebenzi yakhe. Uthi amava akhe njengomguli amncedile ukuba abonise indima kagqirha wengqondo (uGqr. Melfi) kuthotho lwe-'The Sopranos'.
Ngoko ke ukuba wena okanye umntu omaziyo uhlangabezana nezi mpawu, nceda ungabi wedwa. NjengoLorraine, yomelela ngokwaneleyo ukucela uncedo. Thetha nogqirha wakho wosapho ngale nto. Lelo linyathelo lokuqala nelibalulekileyo kwindlela eya ekuchacheni.
Umyalezo Wokuya Ekhaya
- Ukudakumba akubobuthathaka bengqondo, sisifo sokwenyani esifuna unyango.
- Oku kunokuchaphazela nabani na, nokuba yonke into ihamba kakuhle ebomini.
- Ngaphezu nje kokuba lusizi, qaphela iimpawu ezinjengokulahlekelwa lulonwabo kwimisebenzi ebendiyinandipha ngaphambili, ukudinwa kakhulu, kunye notshintsho ebuthongweni nasekutyeni.
- Kukho unyango olusebenzayo kakhulu, olufana nonyango lokuthetha kunye namayeza.
- Ukuba wena okanye umntu omaziyo unengxaki yolu hlobo lokungakhululeki, kubaluleke kakhulu ukuba ungahlali wedwa kwaye ubone ugqirha ngokukhawuleza ukuze akunike ingcebiso.
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