Ubomi abusoloko buyinto entle, akunjalo? Ngamanye amaxesha sijongana neengxaki, imingeni, kunye neengxaki esingazange siziphuphe nokuphupha ngazo. Cinga ngako, mhlawumbi ulahlekelwe ngumsebenzi obuwenza kakuhle. Okanye ungonakalisa umntu obumthemba kakhulu. Mhlawumbi ungagula kwaye uhlupheke sisifo esingenakucingelwa uze uphelise ubomi bakho. Ngamaxesha anje, abanye abantu bayawa ngokukhawuleza kwaye baphantsi koxinzelelo olukhulu lwengqondo. Kodwa abanye baphuma benamandla kuloo maxesha anzima, bafunde isifundo esitsha, baze bavuke kwakhona. Loo mandla, loo nkalipho yengqondo engagungqiyo yinto esiyibiza ngokuba kukuqina , okanye ngesiNgesi, 'ukuqina' . Namhlanje, kweli nqaku, siza kuthetha 'ngoQeqesho lokuqina', oluqeqesha iingqondo zethu ukuba zijongane naso nasiphi na isaqhwithi esiza ebomini.
Ngamafutshane, yintoni 'uQeqesho lokuQina'?
Cinga 'ngoQeqesho lokuQina' njengohlobo 'lokuzilolonga' lweengqondo zethu. Njengokuba siya ejimini ukuze sakhe izihlunu kwaye siqinise imizimba yethu, olu luluhlu lweenkqubo zoqeqesho eziqinisa iingqondo zethu kwaye zisifundisa indlela yokujongana noxinzelelo kunye namaxesha anzima ebomini.
Kufana nebhola yerabha. Xa sibethe ibhola yerabha emhlabeni, iyaphinda ibuyele phezulu. Kodwa xa iglasi iwela emhlabeni, iyaqhekeka ize yaphuke. 'Ukuqina' kukukwazi ukuphinda ibuyele umva njengebhola yerabha. Okwenziwa lolu qeqesho kukufundisa iingqondo zethu ukuphinda ibuyele umva njengebhola yerabha xa iingxaki zobomi zifika emhlabeni, zingaphuki njengeglasi.
Olu qeqesho alusetyenziselwa nje kuphela ukunceda abasebenzi boncedo ukuba bajongane nobunzima abajongene nabo ngexesha lentlekele enkulu efana netsunami. Lukwasetyenziselwa ukunceda umntu onesifo esinzima ukuba ajongane nemingeni ajongene nayo. Kodwa oku akupheleli nje kwiintlekele ezinkulu. Nokuba zizinto ezincinci ezenzeka kubomi bethu bemihla ngemihla, olu qeqesho lunokusinceda sibuyele emsebenzini .
Ngubani obaluleke kakhulu kolu qeqesho?
Enyanisweni, nabani na angathatha inxaxheba kolu qeqesho. Kuba iingxaki zobomi ziqhelekile kuye wonke umntu. Nangona kunjalo, ziluncedo ngakumbi kumaqela alandelayo:
- Ababoneleli ngeenkonzo zoncedo lokuqala kunye nezongxamiseko: Umzekelo, abasebenzi be-ambulensi, abacimi-mlilo.
- Abasebenzi bokunceda xa kukho intlekele: Abantu abasebenza ngexesha leentlekele ezifana nezikhukula kunye nokudilika komhlaba.
- Amagosa asebenza kwimikhosi exhobileyo namapolisa.
- Abasebenzi bezempilo: Oogqirha, abahlengikazi, kunye nabo banyamekela izigulane. Cinga ngoxinzelelo ugqirha okanye umongikazi osebenza kwisibhedlele sikarhulumente kwilizwe lethu ajongene nalo ngosuku. Olu hlobo loqeqesho luxabiseke kakhulu kubo.
- Abantu abanezigulo ezingapheliyo: Umzekelo, oku kunokunceda umntu ophila nesifo sexesha elide esifana nesifo seswekile, isifo sezintso, okanye umhlaza ukuba akwazi ukulawula uxinzelelo oluhambisana naso.
- Nabani na ohlala ephantsi koxinzelelo okanye oye wahlangabezana nobunzima obukhulu ebomini.
Into ebalulekileyo kukuba, akukho namnye kuthi oza kweli hlabathi enamandla engqondo esiwadingayo ukuze sijongane nayo yonke ingxaki. Kufana nokufunda ulwimi olutsha, into ekufuneka siyenze kwaye siyiphuhlise.
Uyazi njani ukuba amandla akho okuzinza engqondweni aphantsi?
Ukuba usandul’ ukudibana nesiganeko esibangela uxinezeleko, usenokuba nezi mpawu zilandelayo. Ukuba naziphi na kwezi mpawu ziqhubeka ixesha elingaphezu kweeveki ezimbini okanye ziyanda imihla ngemihla , oko kungaba luphawu lokuba ukuqina kwakho ngokweemvakalelo kuphantsi kancinci.
| Uphawu | Ingcaciso elula |
|---|---|
| Iimvakalelo zoloyiko kunye nexhala rhoqo | Ukuziva uloyiko, ixhala, kunye nexhala ngaphandle kwesizathu. |
| Uxinzelelo oluphezulu | Ukuziva umthwalo omkhulu kunye noxinzelelo engqondweni ngenxa yezinto ezincinci. |
| Iingxaki zokulala | Ukungakwazi ukulala ebusuku, ukuvuka ebuthongweni, nokudinwa kakhulu emini. |
| Ubunzima bokugxila | Ukungakwazi ukugxila kumsebenzi okhoyo, ubunzima bokwenza izigqibo. |
| Utshintsho kwindlela yokutya | Ukulahlekelwa ngumdla wokutya okanye ukutya kakhulu, ukungonwabi esiswini. |
| Uxinzelelo, usizi, kunye neemvakalelo zokuba netyala | Ukuziva ulusizi ngalo lonke ixesha, ulila lula, uzive unetyala ngawe. |
| Utshintsho kwindlela yokuziphatha | Ukucaphuka msinya, ukuxabana rhoqo nabanye abantu. |
| Ukubekwa wedwa koluntu | Ukuzama ukuba wedwa, ukuphepha abahlobo nosapho. |
| Ukusetyenziswa kweziyobisi/utywala okwandisiweyo | Ukungakwazi ukumelana nosizi noxinzelelo, ukujika uye etywaleni, kwicuba, okanye kwezinye iziyobisi. |
| Ukunciphisa amajoni omzimba | Izifo ezixhaphakileyo ezifana nomkhuhlane kunye nokukhwehlela. |
Ukuba uqhubeka unale mpawu, nceda ungazityesheli kwaye uthethe nogqirha wakho wosapho (uGqirha weNkathalelo ePhambili) okanye umcebisi wezempilo yengqondo .
Khumbula ngakumbi: Ukuba ucinga ngokuzibulala, musa ukuzigcina ziyimfihlo. Nokuba unokucinga okanye uyakwenza oko, luphawu lwesilumkiso. Kubalulekile ukuthetha nomntu omthembileyo ngaloo nto.
Kwenzeka ntoni ngokwenene ngexesha 'loQeqesho lokuQiniseka'?
Uninzi lwexesha, olu qeqesho lwenzeka ngokuxoxa ubuso ngobuso nogqirha wezempilo yengqondo . Ngamanye amaxesha, ezi nkonzo zinokufumaneka ngekhompyutha.
Olu qeqesho ludla ngokwenzeka kube kanye ngeveki kangangeyure okanye iyure enesiqingatha, kangangexesha leeveki okanye iinyanga ezininzi. Lukufundisa iindlela ezahlukeneyo kunye neendlela eziya kukunceda ujongane nemingeni yobomi. Olu qeqesho lwenzelwe ukukunceda ulungiselele ingxaki ngaphambi kokuba ivele.Nangona kunjalo, ungalufumana olu qeqesho nokuba usengxakini okanye emva kokuba iphelile.
Yintoni efundiswayo kolu qeqesho?
Kolu qeqesho, uza kufundiswa ngeendlela ezahlukeneyo zonyango lwengqondo kunye neendlela.
- Unyango lweNgqondo-yokuziphatha (CBT): Oku kusifundisa ukuqonda unxibelelwano phakathi kweengcinga zethu, iimvakalelo zethu, kunye nokuziphatha kwethu. Kusifundisa indlela yokuchonga nokutshintsha iipatheni zengcinga ezimbi.
- Uqeqesho Lokulawula Iimvakalelo: Ziqhelise ukulawula iimvakalelo ezinamandla ezifana nomsindo kunye nosizi kwaye ungagutyungelwa zizo.
- Uqeqesho Lokuqiqa: Oku kukufundisa ukuba uphile kwixesha langoku kwaye ungakhathazeki ngezinto ezingeyomfuneko.
- Imfundo Yengqondo: Inika ulwazi malunga nokuba yintoni uxinzelelo kunye nendlela oluchaphazela ngayo imizimba yethu.
- Ukuziqhelanisa Nokuphumla: Ziqhelise ukuzolisa ingqondo yakho ngeendlela ezilula ezifana nokuphefumla nzulu.
- Ukuzicingela wena nombulelo: Ukuziqhelisa ukuba nobubele kuwe nokwaneliseka ngoko unako.
Ungazibandakanya njani ezi zinto ebomini bakho? - Imizekelo esebenzayo
Khawuthelekelele ujongene nomceli mngeni omkhulu ebomini bakho. Mhlawumbi yingxaki emsebenzini, ingxaki yosapho, okanye ubunzima bezemali. Nantsi indlela onokuyisebenzisa ngayo umgangatho 'wokunyamezela'.
1. Ngaphambi kokuba ujongane nomngeni...
- Fumana ulwazi oluninzi kangangoko: Fumana ulwazi oluninzi kangangoko malunga nengxaki ngaphambi kokuba ujongane nayo. Oku kunokukunceda uphelise uloyiko olungeyomfuneko.
- Hlala unxibelelene nabahlobo bakho: Musa ukuba wedwa xa kuvela ingxaki. Thetha nabahlobo bakho abasenyongweni kunye nosapho rhoqo. Baya kuba ngumthombo omkhulu wamandla kuwe.
- Yenza isicwangciso: Yenza isicwangciso sezinto ekufuneka uzenze. Ukuba kukho izinto ezinzima kuwe ukuzenza wedwa, cela umntu oza kukunceda uzenze.
2. Xa uphakathi komngeni...
- Cinga ngawe: Akukhona ukuzicingela wena xa ucinga ngabanye abantu. Ungalibali ukutya ukutya okunesondlo ngexesha elifanelekileyo kwaye uphumle kancinci.
- Cela uncedo: Ungoyiki ukuthi, "Andinakukwenza oku ndedwa, ndifuna uncedo." Luphawu lwamandla.
- Ziqhelise iindlela zokuzola: Xa uziva uxinezelekile, thatha imizuzu embalwa uvale amehlo akho uze uphefumle kahlanu nzulu. Oku kuya kukunceda uzive ukhululekile kakhulu.
3. Emva kokuba umngeni uphelile...
- Thetha nomcebisi wezempilo yengqondo : Ukuba usasokola ngento eyenzekileyo, funa uncedo lweengcali.
- Zinike ixesha:Xa amaxesha obunzima ephelile, izinto azisayi kubuyela kwindlela ezaziyiyo. Zinike ixesha lokuchacha.
- Ziqhelise ukuthi "hayi": Akunyanzelekanga ukuba uthi "ewe" kuyo yonke into. Ziqhelise ukuthi "hayi" kwizinto ongenakukwazi ukuzenza okanye ezikubangela uxinezeleko.
Zithini iingenelo 'zoQeqesho lokuQina'?
Ixabiso eliza kongezwa lolu qeqesho ebomini bakho alibalulekanga kangako.
- Ubuchule bokuchacha ngokukhawuleza emva kobunzima: Ubuchule bokujongana nokoyisa naluphi na ucelomngeni okanye ubunzima ebomini.
- Ukuchonga apho ungafumana khona uncedo: Uza kuqonda ukuba ngubani na apho ungacela khona uncedo ngamaxesha obunzima.
- Iindlela ezisempilweni zokunciphisa uxinzelelo: Xa uziva ulusizi okanye uxinezelekile, ufunda ukuguqukela kwiindlela ezisempilweni ezifana nokuzilolonga kunye nokuzibandakanya kwizinto ezilungileyo zokuzonwabisa endaweni yokuguqukela kwizinto ezinje ngotywala.
- Ubuchule bokucinga ngendlela eyakhayo: Uyakwazi ukubona isifundo esinokufundwa kwingxaki, endaweni yokuyijonga ngendlela engafanelekanga.
Abantu abanamandla engqondweni nabanyamezelayo badla ngokuba nobukrelekrele obuphezulu beemvakalelo. Bakwabonisa ezi mpawu zilandelayo:
- Ukuba bhetyebhetye ekulawuleni ixesha lakho kunye nezixhobo zakho.
- Ukuba nomdla wokwazi ngehlabathi elikungqongileyo.
- Soloko ugxila kwizinto ezilungileyo kwaye ube nombulelo .
- Ukuqonda ukuba amandla omntu angaphezulu kunokuba lolona celomngeni lukhulu kuye.
Kunini apho kungcono ukubona ugqirha?
Ukuba ezi mpawu zilandelayo ziyaqhubeka kangangeeveki ezingaphezu kwezimbini emva kwesiganeko esixinezelekileyo, bonana nogqirha ngoko nangoko. Musa ukuzityeshela.
| Iimeko apho kunyanzelekileyo ukufuna ingcebiso kagqirha | |
|---|---|
| 1. | Ukuba uziva ulusizi kakhulu okanye unesizungu . |
| 2. | Ukuba unengcinga zokuzilimaza okanye zokuzilimaza abanye . |
| 3. | Ukuba kuvela iimpawu zengqondo , ezifana nokubona okanye ukuva izinto ezingekhoyo. |
| 4. | Ukuba udandathekile kangangokuba awukhathali ngococeko lwakho (njengokuhlamba, ukutya) . |
| 5. | Ukuba usebenzisa iziyobisi okanye utywala kakubi ukuze ubalekele iingxaki. |
Ukuba wena okanye umntu osondeleyo kuwe ukwimeko yongxamiseko, fowunela ku-1990 (Suvaseriya) ngoko nangoko okanye uye kwiYunithi yoNyango oluNgxamisekileyo (ETU) yesibhedlele esikufutshane.
Ubomi abunakuqikelelwa. Bunokusizisela imingeni enzima kakhulu ukuyithwala. Ngamanye amaxesha, kunzima ukoyisa ezo zinto wedwa. 'Uqeqesho Lokumelana Nobunzima' sisixhobo esibalulekileyo esinokukunceda ngamaxesha anje.
Into ebalulekileyo kukuba ukufuna uncedo okanye ukuziva ubuthathaka engqondweni akuyonto ibuthathaka. Njengoko besitshilo ngaphambili, abantu abazalwa benokuqina. Kufana nokwakha amandla ngokuzilolonga ejimini, into esiyifundayo, esiyiqheliselayo, nesiyiphuhlisayo.
Ukuba ubambeke kwimeko yobomi kwaye uziva ngathi awukwazi ukuqhubeka, khumbula ukuba awuwedwa. Ngokuqinisekileyo kukho ugqirha okanye umcebisi wezempilo yengqondo onokukunceda.
Umyalezo Wokuya Ekhaya
- Ukunyamezela asinto esizalwa nayo, sisakhono ekufuneka sisifunde size sisenze.
- Olu qeqesho luza kukunika amandla okubuyela umva njengebhola yerabha emva kwayo nayiphi na ingxaki ebomini.
- Kuqhelekile ukuziva uxinezelekile kwaye uxinezelekile. Musa ukoyika ukucela uncedo ngamaxesha anje.
- Ukuba iimpawu zokudakumba (ezifana nokudakumba, ukungalali kakuhle) ziyaqhubeka okanye zinzima, nceda ungazityesheli kwaye ngokuqinisekileyo thetha nogqirha wakho.
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