Cabanga nje, lapho konke empilweni yakho kuhamba kahle, awuzizwa ujabule. Konke kuzwakala kungenalutho, sengathi awukwazi ukujabula nganoma yini. Yilokhu umlingisi odumile emhlabeni wonke uLorraine Bracco abhekana nakho. Udlala njengodokotela wezifo zengqondo ochungechungeni lwethelevishini oluthi 'The Sopranos', kodwa yena ngokwakhe walwa nokucindezeleka empilweni yangempela. Ngendaba yakhe, singakhuluma ngokucindezeleka abaningi bethu abesabayo ukukhuluma ngakho, kodwa okukhona phakathi kwethu.
Ubumnyama obufike ngesikhathi esihle kakhulu sokuphila
ULorraine Bracco udlule esikhathini esinzima kakhulu empilweni yakhe. Wabhekana nezinkinga eziningi, njengokuhlukana nomyeni wakhe, impi ende yokunakekela izingane, eyamshiya ephelelwe yimali ngokwezimali, kanye nendodakazi yakhe eqala ukugula okungathi sína (i-Juvenile Rheumatoid Arthritis). Kodwa ngokumangazayo, waba nokucindezeleka ngemva nje kokuba zonke lezi zinkinga seziphelile futhi impilo yakhe isiba ngcono futhi. Wayenendima enhle ochungechungeni lwe-'The Sopranos', futhi konke kwakuhamba kahle.
Njengoba yena ngokwakhe esho, "Kwaphela izinyanga ngiqaphela ukuthi angizizwanga lutho. Kwakungekho injabulo enhliziyweni yami. Ekugcineni, ngaqaphela ukuthi lokhu kwakungavamile, ukuthi kukhona okungahambi kahle lapha. Unyaka wokuphila kwami wawusuphelile! Sekuyisikhathi eside leso ngingaphilanga!"
Into ebaluleke kakhulu esingayiqonda kulokhu ukuthi ukucindezeleka akukhona nje ukuzizwa udabukile noma into ebangelwa izinkinga zokuphila . Kuyinkimbinkimbi kakhulu kunalokho, isimo sangempela sezokwelapha esihlobene nezinqubo zamakhemikhali ebuchosheni bethu.
Uyini umehluko phakathi kokucindezeleka okungokwempilo nokudabuka okuvamile?
Sonke sibhekana nezikhathi lapho sizizwa sidabukile. Lokho kuvamile. Kodwa ukucindezeleka kuyinto ehlukile. Kubalulekile ukuqonda lo mehluko.
| Isici | Usizi olujwayelekile | Ukucindezeleka Kwezokwelapha |
|---|---|---|
| Ubude besikhathi | Ngokuvamile kuyaphela zingakapheli izinsuku ezimbalwa. | Kuhlala isikhathi esingaphezu kwamasonto amabili ngesikhathi. Kungahlala izinyanga noma ngisho neminyaka. |
| Isizathu | Ngokuvamile kuba nesizathu esithile (isib., ukulahlekelwa ngumuntu, ukulahlekelwa umsebenzi). | Mhlawumbe ngaphandle kwesizathu esicacile. |
| Amandla okujabula | Ngisho noma uzizwa udabukile, ungathola injabulo encane ngokukhuluma nomngane nokulalela ingoma emnandi. | I-Anhedonia ukungakwazi ukujabulela noma yini owawuyijabulela. Konke kuzwakala kungenalutho. |
| Umthelela empilweni yansuku zonke | Nakuba kunzima kancane, ungaqhubeka nemisebenzi yakho evamile. | Imisebenzi yansuku zonke (umsebenzi, isikole, imisebenzi yasekhaya) iyathinteka kakhulu kangangokuthi awukwazi ukuyenza. Ungase uzizwe ungathandi nokuvuka embhedeni. |
| Ezinye izici | Ukuzizwa ngidabukile kakhulu. | Izinguquko zokulala (ukulala ngokweqile noma ukuqwasha), izinguquko zokudla, ukukhathala ngokweqile, ukuzizwa kabi ngawe, ubunzima bokugxilisa ingqondo, imicabango yokuzibulala. |
Okuhlangenwe nakho kukaLorraine kuyafana. Uthi, "Ngashiya ingane yami esikoleni, ngenza yonke imisebenzi yasekhaya. Kodwa ngangingazizwa kahle." Abanye abantu abakwazi ngisho nokuvuka embhedeni uma becindezelekile. Abanye, njengoLorraine, bangenza imisebenzi yabo yansuku zonke ngendlela yokusebenza, kodwa abazizwa bephila noma benenjabulo ngaphakathi.
"Ngangizizwa nginesizungu kakhulu futhi ngingedwa. Angizange ngikujabulele ukuphila nhlobo. Ngangenza izinto nje. Ngangicabanga ukuthi impilo yami izohlala inje."
Ungesabi ukucela usizo!
Njengabantu abaningi, uLorraine wayenqikaza ukufuna usizo ekuqaleni. Wayecabanga ukuthi kufanele akwazi ukulawula imizwa yakhe eyedwa. Wayesaba futhi ngephutha ukuthi ukuthatha imithi yokucindezeleka kuzomthulisa imizwa yakhe futhi kumenze angakwazi ukwenza okuthile.
Kodwa ekugcineni, lapho eqaphela ukuthi akasakwazi ukuphila kanje, wanquma ukubona udokotela wezifo zengqondo ngosizo lomngane wakhe. Njengoba esho,Ukuya kulowo mhlangano wokuqala kwakuyisinyathelo esinzima kakhulu.
"Kuyiqiniso, kwakwethusa kakhulu. Kodwa yileso sikhathi lapho ngalawula khona impilo yami. Esikhundleni sokuvumela ukudabuka kwami, ukungajabuli kwami kulawule impilo yami, ngakwazi ukuvumela amaphupho ami aqondise impilo yami."
Lona umyalezo obaluleke kakhulu. Ukuya kudokotela akulona uphawu lobuthakathaka, kungenye yezinyathelo eziqine kakhulu ongazithatha ukuze uthathe umthwalo wemfanelo ngempilo yakho futhi uziphilise.
Ukwelashwa kanye nokululama
Udokotela kaLorraine walalela ngokucophelela futhi wamnika isikhathi esanele sokukhuluma ngezimpawu zakhe. Nakuba ekuqaleni ayengabaza, wavuma ukuthatha imithi yokucindezeleka ngokweseluleko sikadokotela. Waqala nokwelashwa/ukwelulekwa ngengxoxo.
Ngale ndlela yokwelashwa, wathola izizathu zobumnyama enhliziyweni yakhe. Kancane kancane, wazithola futhi. "Ngazizwa umehluko omkhulu empilweni yami yansuku zonke. Kwakuyilapho ngiqala ukuthola ukwelashwa lapho ngaqala khona indlela yokululama - endleleni yokuzithola, ngibe yimi."
Wathatha imithi cishe izinyanga eziyi-15. Waqhubeka nokwelashwa nge-talk therapy cishe iminyaka emibili nesigamu. Okubaluleke kakhulu, ukucindezeleka kwakhe akuzange kubuye. Waphulukiswa ngokuphelele.
Lokhu okuhlangenwe nakho kwamsiza nasemsebenzini wakhe. Uthi ulwazi lwakhe njengesiguli lwamsiza ukuba abonise indima kadokotela wezifo zengqondo (uDkt. Melfi) ochungechungeni lwe-'The Sopranos'.
Ngakho-ke uma wena noma othile omaziyo ebhekene nalezi zimpawu, sicela ungahlupheki wedwa. NjengoLorraine, yiba namandla okucela usizo. Khuluma nodokotela womndeni wakho ngalokhu. Leso isinyathelo sokuqala nesibaluleke kakhulu endleleni eya ekululameni.
Umlayezo Wokuya Nawe Ekhaya
- Ukucindezeleka akusona ubuthakathaka bengqondo, kuyisifo sangempela esidinga ukwelashwa.
- Lokhu kungathinta noma ubani, noma ngabe konke kuhamba kahle empilweni.
- Ngaphezu kokudabuka nje, qaphela izimpawu ezifana nokulahlekelwa injabulo emisebenzini eyayijatshulelwa ngaphambilini, ukukhathala ngokweqile, kanye nezinguquko zokulala kanye nesifiso sokudla.
- Kunezindlela zokwelapha eziphumelela kakhulu, njengokwelashwa ngokukhuluma kanye nemithi.
- Uma wena noma othile omaziyo ebhekene nalolu hlobo lokungakhululeki, kubaluleke kakhulu ukungahlali wedwa futhi ubone udokotela ngokushesha ngangokunokwenzeka ukuze uthole iseluleko.
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