Ingabe ngezinye izikhathi uzizwa unengwa nguwe? Ingabe imicabango efana nokuthi "Angenzi lutho kahle", "Ngibukeka kabi kakhulu", "Angisoze ngalunga ngokwanele" ihlala ifika engqondweni yakho? Lolu hlobo lokuzisola, ukuzilulaza, nokuzizwa unenzondo enkulu nokudumazeka ngawe yilokho esikubiza ngokuthi ukuzenyanya . Lona umuzwa ofana nokuzizonda.
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Kalula nje, kuyini Ukuzizonda?
Uma uzizonda, uvame ukuqala ukuzigxeka kakhulu ngokubukeka kwakho nezinto ozenzayo. Wonke amaphutha, wonke amaphutha owenzayo ayakhula. Uzisola ngalawo maphutha. Lokhu kungakwenza uzizwe sengathi awulutho futhi awulutho.
Uma ingqondo yakho ihlala icabanga ngezinto ezimbi, kunzima kakhulu ukubona izinto ezinhle, izici ezinhle, empilweni.
Kodwa lokhu akusho ukuthi ungumuntu omubi noma ukuthi awusoze wajabula. Kusho ukuthi indlela ubuchopho bakho obucabanga ngayo, okungukuthi, indlela ubuchopho bakho obucabanga ngayo, ihlukile kancane.
Izindaba ezinhle ukuthi singazama ukushintsha lezi zindlela zokucabanga. Kodwa ngezinye izikhathi kungaba nzima ukukwenza wedwa. Ngakho-ke, ungalokothi unqikaze ukucela usizo kudokotela. Bangakusiza uzizwe ungcono futhi bakuqondise ekushintsheni lezi zindlela zokucabanga.
Yiziphi imizwa nezimpawu zomuntu ozizondayo?
Lesi simo singathinta imizwa yakho nokuziphatha kwakho. Ungase ulahlekelwe yisithakazelo kunoma yini futhi ube nesisusa esincane sokwenza izinto ezinhle. Isibonelo, ungase uzizwe sengathi ukuzama ukuthola isikhundla emsebenzini akusizi ngalutho. Noma ungase ungacabangi ngisho nangempilo yakho ngenxa yemicabango enjalo emibi.
Ezinye izimpawu zingase zivele ngalesi simo. Ake sizibheke ngokucacile.
| Izici zengqondo nezokuziphatha | Indlela okuthinta ngayo ngokomzimba |
|---|---|
| Ukukhathazeka okukhulu nokukhathazeka | Ubunzima bokulala (ukungalali, ukuvuka ekuseni kakhulu, ukuvuka ulele uphuzekile) |
| Ukucindezeleka nokulahlekelwa yithemba empilweni | Ubunzima bokugxilisa ingqondo noma ukucabanga kahle |
| Ukucabanga njalo ngezinto ezifanayo ezimbi (Ukucabanga) | Ukulahlekelwa amandla omzimba, ukuzizwa ukhathele ngaso sonke isikhathi |
| Ukuzizwa ungafaneleki futhi ungakwazi ukwenza lutho | Ukulahlekelwa yisifiso sokudla noma ukudla ngokweqile |
| Ukuzama ukuzihlukanisa nomphakathi | Ukungahlaliseki, ukungakwazi ukuhlala endaweni eyodwa |
| Izinguquko ezinkulu ezingazelelwe emizweni |
Le micabango ivela kanjani?
Le micabango ingase ihluke kumuntu ngamunye. Kodwa ngokuvamile, ihlanganisa ukungabi nazwelo, ukuzisola okukhulu, ukungabi nakuzethemba, kanye nokucindezeleka okuqhubekayo. Imicabango efika engqondweni yakho ingaba yile:
"Ngeke ngikwenze kahle lokhu noma kunjalo."
"Ngibukeka kabi kakhulu."
"Angifanele into efana nale."
Le micabango nemizwa emibi ivame ukusebenza emjikelezweni. Uma kufika umcabango omubi engqondweni, uzizwa kabi. Lowo muzwa omubi uholela emicabangweni emibi eminingi. Lo mjikelezo uyaqhubeka.
Ingabe Ukuzizonda Kuyisifo Sengqondo? Kubangelwa Yini?
Cha. Ukuzizonda akusona isifo sengqondo. Kodwa-ke, kungaba uphawu lwezinye izimo zempilo yengqondo. Isimo esivame kakhulu nesivame kakhulu esihambisana nalokhu ukucindezeleka .
Kungaba nezizathu eziningi zokuzizonda. Ngokuvamile kuyinto ekhula kancane kancane ngokuhamba kwesikhathi.
- Isimo sempilo yengqondo esiyisisekelo: Ukuba nesimo esinjengokucindezeleka noma ukukhathazeka.
- Okuhlangenwe nakho okubi ebuntwaneni:Ukugxekwa, ukugxekwa, noma ukuchayeka ezigamekweni ezibuhlungu ezivela kubazali, othisha, noma ontanga.
- Okulindelwe emphakathini kanye nokuqhathanisa: Ukuziqhathanisa nabanye, ucabanga ukuthi, "Angikwazi ukufana naye," "Angimuhle njengomunye umuntu."
- Ukufuna ukuphelela: Inkolelo yokuthi konke kumelwe kwenziwe ngokuphelele ngokuphelele, kanye nenkolelo yokuthi ngisho nephutha elincane kakhulu alinakwenziwa.
- Ukuzethemba okuphansi kanye nokungazethembi.
Yini okufanele siyenze ukuze siphume kulesi simo?
Ukuzizonda ngezinye izikhathi kungaba yinselele yokuzilawula wedwa. Ngakho-ke, kungcono ukukhuluma nomeluleki wezempilo yengqondo , udokotela, ukuze akusize ubhekane nale micabango nemizwa enzima.
Bangase batuse indlela yokwelapha efana ne -Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) . Kalula nje, lokhu kuyindlela yokwelapha yokukhuluma ekusiza ukuqonda ukuxhumana phakathi kwemicabango yakho, imizwa yakho, kanye nokuziphatha kwakho futhi ikusize ushintshe lawo maphethini emicabango emibi.
Khumbula, ukufuna ukwelashwa akulona neze uphawu lobuthakathaka noma lokunqotshwa. Kuwuphawu lokuthi unamandla nokuthi uyazikhathalela.
Izinto ongazizama wedwa
Ukuqeda lo mjikelezo wemicabango emibi kudinga isikhathi nokuzijwayeza. Nazi ezinye izeluleko ezingakusiza:
- Yenza izinto ezikulethela izinkumbulo ezijabulisayo. Uma kufika imicabango emibi, yenza okuthile okungakuphazamisa.
- Khumbula okuhlangenwe nakho okuhle. Uma wenza okuthile bese ucabanga ukuthi, "Angikwazi ukukwenza lokhu," khumbula isikhathi lapho wenza umsebenzi omuhle esikhathini esidlule.
- Shintsha indawo okuzungezile. Ngisho nento encane njengokulengisa isithombe sabathandekayo bakho eduze kwesibuko sakho ingakwenza uzizwe ungcono.
- Hlukanisa izinkinga ezinkulu zibe yizinyathelo ezincane. Esikhundleni sokuzama ukwenza into enkulu ngesikhathi esisodwa, yenze isinyathelo ngesinyathelo.
- Gxila emzamweni wakho kunomphumela. Isibonelo, esikhundleni sokugxila ekufikeni kuqala emjahweni wokugijima, gxila ekuqedeni umjaho.
Enye indlela enhle yokubhekana nalesi simo ukukhuluma "noob" ekhanda lakho. Cabanga ukuthi kukhona umuntu ekhanda lakho okutshela ukuthi konke okwenzayo akulungile. Wake wakhuluma naye? Zama lokhu:
1. Khuluma ngokuzwakalayo umcabango omubi ofika engqondweni yakho.
2. Zibuze: "Ngingasho into efana nale komunye wabangane bami abakhulu?"
3. Uma impendulo ingu-"cha",Cabanga ngokuthi ungawubeka kabusha lo mcabango ngendlela ewusizo kakhulu neyakhayo. (Kufanele ngisebenzise igama elithi "kuhle" noma "okudala" esikhundleni selithi "okwakhayo." Cha, lokho kungezinye izilimi. "Okuwusizo" noma "okuhle" kungcono.) Ake sicabange futhi: Uma impendulo ingu-"cha," cabanga ngokuthi ungawubeka kabusha lo mcabango ngendlela ewusizo kakhulu noma enhle.
Uma ukhuluma nawe ngale ndlela, uzoqala ukuqaphela ukuthi awulungile futhi awunomusa kangakanani kuwe. Lena indlela enhle yokuvula umnyango wokuziphatha ngozwelo.
Kunini lapho udinga ngempela ukubona udokotela?
Kuvamile ukuba nemicabango emibi ngawe ngezikhathi ezithile. Kodwa uma le micabango ithatha ingqondo yakho futhi iphazamisa imisebenzi yakho yansuku zonke kuze kube yilapho ungakwazi ukusebenza, sekuyisikhathi sokukhuluma nodokotela.
Nazi ezinye izimo ezinjalo:
- Uma imikhuba yakho yokudla isishintshile.
- Uma lokhu kuphazamisa ukusebenza kwakho esikoleni noma emsebenzini.
- Uma indlela yakho yokulala isishintshile.
- "Angizizwa kahle " ukuze ngigweme umsebenzi wezenhlalo kanye nemithwalo yemfanelo (kufanele ngisebenzise "Angizizwa kahle " esikhundleni sokuthi "Angizizwa kahle." Cha, kokubili kunephutha. Kufanele ngisebenzise isisho esivamile sesiSinhala njengokuthi "Angizizwa kahle.") Ake sicabange futhi: Uma uthi "Angizizwa kahle" ukuze ugweme umsebenzi wezenhlalo kanye nemithwalo yemfanelo, uzovame ukuzithola uthi "Angizizwa kahle."
Ngezinye izikhathi le micabango yokuzizonda ingakhula ibe yimicabango yokuzilimaza noma yokuzibulala . Uma uqala ukuba nale micabango, khumbula ukuthi awuwedwa. Usizo luyatholakala. Khuluma nomuntu omethembayo ngokushesha. Bona udokotela ngokushesha, noma uye eMnyangweni Wezimo Eziphuthumayo (ETU) esibhedlela esiseduze nawe. Lokhu kubaluleke kakhulu.
Umlayezo Wokuya Nawe Ekhaya
- Ukuzizonda akuyona inkinga ebuntwini bakho, kuyisimo sengqondo esingesihle onaso ngawe.
- Lokhu kungaba uphawu lwesinye isimo, njengokucindezeleka.
- Ukucela usizo akulona uphawu lobuthakathaka, kuwubufakazi obuhle kakhulu bokuthi unamandla.
- Ungafunda ukushintsha lezi zindlela zokucabanga. Kuthatha isikhathi nomzamo.
- Uma imicabango ingasabekezeleleki noma uzizwa sengathi uzozilimaza, funa usizo lwezokwelapha ngokushesha. Awuwedwa.
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