Ðe viwòa nɔa ‘set’ la gbɔ le sukua? Mina míaƒo nu tso (Clique) sia ŋu!

Hello! Ne viwòa le tsitsim la, xɔlɔ̃wo ƒe amesinɔnɔ va zua nusi ŋu asixɔxɔ gã aɖe le na wo, alo? Yi ŋgɔ wu ƒomea kple woawo ŋutɔ ƒe xɔlɔ̃wo wɔwɔ le vevie ŋutɔ na woƒe tsitsi, si fia be woatsi abe ame ɖekaɖeka siwo le wo ɖokui si ene. Xɔlɔ̃wɔwɔ siawo akpe ɖe wo ŋu geɖe le ƒomedodo nyui siwo dzi woate ŋu aka ɖo tutuɖo me le etsɔme. Gake ɣeaɖewoɣi la, ‘xɔlɔ̃wo’ sia ate ŋu atrɔ le mɔ si to vovo vie nu, eye ɣeaɖewoɣi le mɔ si ate ŋu ahe kuxiwo vɛ nu. Emae nye nusi ŋu míele nu ƒom tsoe egbea, vevietɔ, `(Clique)` ƒuƒoƒowo. Mègavɔ̃ o, mina míaƒo nu tso esia ŋu le mɔ si gɔme mí katã míate ŋu ase nu, bɔbɔe.

Vovototo kae le xɔlɔ̃wo ƒe ƒuƒoƒo kple ``ha'' dome?

Enyo, gbã la, mina míana vovototo si le xɔlɔ̃wo ƒe ƒuƒoƒo aɖe ko ƒe ƒuƒoƒo kple nusi míeyɔna be ``habɔbɔ'' dome la me nakɔ. Ne míese nya sia gɔme nyuie la, anɔ bɔbɔe na mí be míakpe ɖe ɖeviwo ŋu.

Zi geɖe la, xɔlɔ̃wo va kpena ɖe wo nɔewo ŋu le nusiwo wolɔ̃na si sɔ ta . Bu eŋu be enye ƒuƒoƒo si ƒoa fefe ɖeka, ɖevi siwo le klass ɖeka me, ame siwo le nuto ɖeka me, alo ƒomekadodowo. Ablɔɖe le ame siwo le xɔlɔ̃wo ƒe ƒuƒoƒo siawo ƒomevi me be woaƒo nu, afe, ahade ha kple ame bubu siwo mele ƒuƒoƒo ma me o. Womeɖea wo ɖa alo nya wo le ƒuƒoƒoa me le esia wɔwɔ ta o. Se aɖeke meli si gblɔ be ele be miawɔ nusianu ɖekae o. Enye nusi sɔ ŋutɔ eye wòle lãmesẽ me.

Ke hã, `(Clique)` sia to vovo vie, wobla wo sesĩe ŋutɔ, wobla wo nɔewo sesĩe vie . Zi geɖe la, woawo ŋutɔ ƒe sewo kple alesi wowɔa nui nɔa wo si. Wogblɔ se siawo dometɔ aɖewo tẽ, ɖewo hã le tẽ. Wowɔa nu geɖe ɖekae. Gake kuxi vevitɔ le afisia enye be wometu `(Clique)` sia ƒomevi ɖe dzidzenu ɖeka, susu nyuiwo, kple dzixɔse siwo ku ɖe kpekpeɖeŋu nana wo nɔewo ŋu dzi o. Zi geɖe la, woƒe taɖodzinu vevitɔe nye be yewoakpɔ yewoƒe `(Nɔnɔme)` kple `(Amewo ƒe lɔlɔ̃nu)` ta. Le kpɔɖeŋu me, ame siwo le `(Clique)` me ateŋu abu be yewo ``de ŋgɔ'' wu ame bubuwo, alo woateŋu adze agbagba ɣesiaɣi be yewoaɖee afia be yewoƒe `(Clique)` ``lolo'' wu bubuawo. Eyae nye be hoʋiʋli ate ŋu anɔ wo dome ɣesiaɣi.

Nukatae mía viwo di be yewoawɔ ɖeka kple `(Clique)` alea?

Fifia ɖewohĩ èle eŋu bum be, ‘Nukatae le anyigba dzi la, ɖeviwo lɔ̃a yiyi le nɔnɔme siawo ƒomevi siwo me tsi le, siwo me kuxiwo le la me?’ Menye susu ɖeka koe li si tae o, ke boŋ wo dometɔ geɖe hã li. Na míalé ŋku ɖe nya ma ŋu.

• Didi be amewo nalɔ̃ yewo: Le ɖevi aɖewo gome la, ‘ame xɔŋkɔ’, ‘fafɛ’ ye nye nu vevitɔ na wo. Eyata, edze na wo be ‘habɔbɔ’ siawo nye teƒe si woakpɔ hadomeɖoƒe, si fia be woaxɔ ame bubuwo le suku. Wosusuna be, ‘Ne mele ƒuƒoƒo ma me la, amesiame ade bubu ŋunye.’
• Vɔvɔ̃ be ye ɖeka yeanɔ anyi:Ðevi bubu aɖewo hã kpena ɖe esia ŋu elabena wovɔ̃na be woagblẽ yewo ɖi, yewo ɖeɖe, eye yewoabu. Wosusuna be, ‘Oo, anyo be woatsɔm ade ƒuƒoƒoa me, ne menye nenema o la, nye ɖeka manɔ anyi.’ Esia nye nusi ate ŋu ase le eɖokui me vevietɔ na ɖevi siwo sea veve vie.
• Didi be yewoaɖu ame dzi alo adze eyome: Ðevi aɖewo li siwo lɔ̃a ame bubuwo dzi ɖuɖu, woƒe lɔlɔ̃nu dzizizi, eye ame bubuwo naɖo to wo. Le ɖevi siawo tɔgbe gome la, `(Clique)` sia nye teƒe nyui aɖe (le nyui alo vɔ̃ me). Zi geɖe la, ``Kplɔla`` aɖee kpɔa esiawo dzi. Kplɔla lae tsoa nya me le amesiwo wòle be woanɔ ƒuƒoƒoa me kple amesiwo wòle be woanɔ gota ŋu. Le go bubu me la, esia ate ŋu adze nu nyui aɖe na ɖevi siwo lɔ̃a seawo dzi wɔwɔ, lɔ̃a toɖoɖo ame bubuwo ƒe nyawo, eye wovɔ̃na vie be yewoawɔ yewo ŋutɔ yewoƒe nyametsotsowo hã. Elabena, afima la, wogblɔna na wo kɔte be ``nusi woawɔ''.

Gake, nusi wɔ nuku enye be, ɣeaɖewoɣi la, woɖea ɖevi siwo nyoa dɔme ŋutɔ, siwo ŋu amewo lɔ̃a nu le, kple esiwo si ŋutete le gɔ̃ hã ɖa le `(Clique)` sia me alo womexɔa wo ɖe ƒuƒoƒoa me o. Nusitae nye be ɖevia ƒe amenyenye kple kakaɖedzi le eɖokui ŋu ate ŋu anye ŋɔdzi na kplɔla la. Kplɔla la ate ŋu asusu be, ‘Ðevi sia menye amesi ɖoa tom o, ato vovo wu nye.’ Vevietɔ ne ɖevia lɔ̃e ne eya ɖeka koe li gɔ̃ hã la, esia ate ŋu adzɔ. Ɣeaɖewoɣi la, kplɔla la ƒoa nu kple ɖevia xɔlɔ̃wo be woawɔ ɖeka kple `(Clique)`, gake womexɔa ɖevi si ame geɖe lɔ̃na la o. Esia hã nye nɔnɔme wɔnublanui aɖe ŋutɔ.

Nukatae ame bubuwo ɖoa to nya si `(Clique)` ƒe ŋgɔnɔla gblɔ?

Enyo, azɔ mina míakpɔ nusitae `(Clique)` sia me tɔ bubuawo ɖoa to nya sia nya si kplɔla la gblɔna. Ðe wònye nusi wowɔna le xɔlɔ̃wɔwɔ ta, le lɔlɔ̃ na kplɔla la ta nyateƒea? Alo ɖe susu bubu aɖe hã li?

Zi geɖe la, `(Clique)` me tɔwo zɔna ɖe kplɔla ƒe sewo dzi pɛpɛpɛ. Ate ŋu anye, ‘Ele be míado awu abe ŋkeke si do ŋgɔ ene’, ‘Ele be míado ŋkeke si kplɔe ɖo’, ‘Míeƒoa nu na amewo le ŋkeke si kplɔe ɖo dzi o’, ‘Nu siawo ƒomevi koe míewɔna’, kple bubuawo Zi geɖe la , se geɖe nɔa `(Clique)` siawo si, wogblɔe tẽ alo womegblɔe o . Azɔ hã, `(Nyaƒoɖeamenu)` geɖe li be woawɔ ɖe se mawo dzi pɛpɛpɛ. Ehea seselelãme vɛ be ‘Ne mí katã míewɔ esia la, wò ɖeka koe mate ŋu atrɔ o’.

Le nyateƒe me la, hamevi akpa gãtɔ ƒoa ƒu ɖe kplɔla la ŋu, menye le xɔlɔ̃wɔwɔ vavãtɔ ta o, ke boŋ le esi wodi be yewoakpɔ yewoƒe nɔƒe ta le ƒuƒoƒoa me ta.

Ðevi siwo le `(ha)` me tsia dzi ɣesiaɣi ɖe nuwo abe, 'Ðe magaxɔ ŋkɔ le ƒuƒoƒo sia me kokokoa?', 'Ne mewɔ nu gbegblẽ aɖe, megblɔ nya gbegblẽ aɖe, alo medo awu si mesɔ o la, ɖe ƒuƒoƒoa agblẽm ɖi?' Esia nye nusi hea nuteɖeamedzi geɖe vɛ ŋutɔŋutɔ . Ðevia vɔ̃na eye wòkea ɖi ɣesiaɣi.

Ɣekaɣie kuxiwo doa mo ɖa le `(Cliques)` ta?

Le ɖevi geɖe gome la, woyɔa ɣeyiɣi si xɔ tso ƒe ewo va ɖo wuiatɔ̃ be ‘preteen’ kple ‘teenage’.Enye ɣeyiɣi si me nèle agbagba dzem be yeanya amesi nènye, alesi nèdi be yeawɔ ɖeka kple hadomegbenɔnɔ, alesi nèdi be yeato vovo, kple amesi nènye. Eyata, esɔ ŋutɔ be ɖevi siwo xɔ ƒe sia nase le wo ɖokui me be yewomele dedie o ɣeaɖewoɣi, woakpɔ mɔ be ame bubuwo naxɔ yewo, eye woadi be yewoanɔ ha dem kple ɖevi ‘fafɛ’, ‘pop’. Alea tututue wòle le ƒe ma me.

Ke hã, ``ha'' siawo ateŋu ahe kuxi siwo anɔ anyi ɣeyiɣi didi vɛ, susu kple nuwɔna siaa , vevietɔ le nɔnɔme siawo tɔgbe me:

• Ne wote ɖeviwo kpɔ be woawɔ nu siwo wonya be mesɔ o alo womelɔ̃ ɖe woawo ŋutɔ ƒe seselelãmewo dzi o, be yewoadze ŋgɔnɔla la ŋu alo be yewoanye ƒuƒoƒoa me tɔ. Le kpɔɖeŋu me, nuwo abe anyrawɔwɔ le ame bubu ŋu alo aʋatsokaka ene.
• When children are pushed around , wozãa ga geɖe ɖe awu yeyewo ŋu , ƒlea telefon yeyetɔ, ɖua fewu le ame bubuwo ŋu, kakaa nyatoƒoetoto (eɖanye ɖe woƒe mo tẽ alo le Internet dzi to hadomenyatakakadzraɖoƒewo dzi o).
• Ne wozi ɖeviwo dzi be woawɔ nusiwo me afɔku le abe fififi, dɔ ƒoɖiwo wɔwɔ, alo ame bubuwo ƒe nuwo dome gbegblẽ ene . Ne wozi wo dzi be woawɔ nuwo abe, ‘Mí katã míele ewɔm, ele be wò hã nàwɔe.’
• Ne ƒuƒoƒoa va zu ha alo gbevuha si tsi tre ɖe hadomenuwɔnawo ŋu , wozi se siwo mele lãmesẽ me o abe lolo dzi ɖeɖe kpɔtɔ ene, alo anyrawɔwɔ alo ŋɔdzidodo na ame bubuwo le dzedzeme, nuwɔametɔnyenye, ameƒomevinyenye, alo mawusubɔsubɔ ta.
• Ne ɖevi se le eɖokui me vevie be ƒuƒoƒo aɖe gbe ye, woɖe ye ɖe aga, eye yeɖe ye ɖokui ɖe aga la , esia ate ŋu agblẽ nu le ɖevia ƒe bubudede eɖokui ŋu ŋu vevie.

Bu eŋu kpɔ, ``(Cliques)`` siawo va nu sẽna wu, si fia be kuxiawo nu sẽna wu, ne ɖevia le klass ade, adre, alo enyi (Titinasuku). Ke hã, ɣeaɖewoɣi la, ``(Clique)`` kuxi siawo ateŋu adze egɔme tso ƒe ene alo atɔ̃ xɔxɔ me ke. Eya ta anyo be nànya esia tso ɖevime ke.

Aleke míate ŋu akpe asi ɖe eŋu abe dzilawo ene?

Enyo, fifia ne viwò le avu wɔm, ɖewohĩ le fu kpem, kple xɔlɔ̃wɔwɔ siawo la, `(Cliques), nu geɖe li siwo wò, si nye, mí, abe dzilawo ene, míate ŋu awɔ atsɔ ado alɔ wo. Na míakpɔ nusiwo wonye ɖa. Esiawo nye nusiwo le bɔbɔe ŋutɔ, siwo ŋudɔ woate ŋu awɔ.

• Gblɔ wò nuteƒekpɔkpɔwo: Ƒo nu tso nusiwo me nèto le suku, haƒoha siwo nèdo goe, kple masɔmasɔ siwo nɔ mia kple xɔ̃wòwo dome ŋu na viwòa. Gblɔ ale si nèse le ɖokuiwò me le nu mawo ŋu kple ale si nèwɔ nu ɖe ​​wo ŋui na wo. Esia akpe ɖe viwòa ŋu wòase egɔme be menye ye dzi koe nusiawo le dzɔdzɔm o.
• Dze agbagba nàse kplɔla ƒe akpa gɔme: Ðe eme na viwò be ne wonye ``(ha)'' ƒe ŋgɔnɔla hã la, woate ŋu anɔ abe ame bubu ɖesiaɖe ene , woatsi dzi be amewo nalɔ̃ yewo eye ame bubuwo axɔ yewo . Gblɔ na wo be ɖewohĩ kplɔla la le nu wɔm nenema tsɔ tsyɔ nu woƒe dedienɔnɔmanɔmanɔ dzi.
• Ðe agbalẽ kple sinima siwo sɔ ɖe go: Di agbalẽ kple sinima siwo viwòa ate ŋu ase le xɔlɔ̃wɔwɔwo kple habɔbɔwo ŋu. Le kpɔɖeŋu me, agbalẽ abe Judy Bloom ƒe ‘Blubber’ alo sinima abe ‘Mean Girls’ ene. (Esiawo le Eŋlisigbe me, ne anya wɔ la, kpɔ wo kple viwòa eye nàƒo nu tso wo ŋu. Esia ana wòanɔ bɔbɔe na viwòa be wòase nɔnɔmea gɔme.)
• De dzi ƒo na viwòa be wòakpɔ gome le nuwɔna siwo ana woado le suku me . Nuwo abe aɖaŋudɔ ƒe klasswo, hadzidzi ƒe klasswo, kamedefefewo, aʋawɔɖaŋuwo, gbegbɔgblɔ ŋuti nusɔsrɔ̃wo, nutome habɔbɔwo, lɔlɔ̃nu faa dɔwɔwɔ, kple bubuawo Esiawo naa mɔnukpɔkpɔ viwò be wòadze xɔlɔ̃ le suku godo, le nusiwo me wòtsɔ ɖe le ɖekae nu, siwo xɔ ƒe vovovowo, kple esiwo tso suku vovovowo me. Ekema menye sukuha la koe anye woƒe xexeame o.
• Fia xɔlɔ̃wɔwɔ siwo le lãmesẽ me kple seselelãme: De dzi ƒo na viwò be xɔlɔ̃wɔwɔ nyui, nyuiwo nanɔ esi . Fia wo be woagaƒo wo ɖokui ɖe ``ha'' siawo me fũ o. Fia wo be woalé ŋku ɖe ame bubuwo ƒe seselelãmewo ŋu eye woawɔ nusi sɔ na wo ɖokui, ke menye ɣesiaɣie woadze amehawo yome o . Fia wo ko be, "Mehiã be míati kpo age ɖe vudoa me esime ame bubuwo katã le ti kpom ɖe eme o."

Àte ŋu aɖe eme na viwò be ``ha'' siawo ateŋu atrɔ kaba ŋutɔ, be ƒuƒoƒo si li egbea ateŋu abu etsɔ, eyata ele vevie ŋutɔŋutɔ be xɔlɔ̃ nyui, anukwareɖilawo, kple nugɔmesesenametɔwo nanɔ asiwò . Nya ɣaɣla gãtɔ kekeake si ana amesiame nalɔ̃ wò ŋutɔŋutɔ eye wòalɔ̃ wòe nye be nànye xɔlɔ̃ si ƒomevi nèdi be yeanye na ame bubuwo.

Mlɔeba la, nu ʋɛ aɖewo siwo dzi wòle be woaɖo ŋkui (Take-Home Message) .

Eyata, mele mɔ kpɔm be susu nyui aɖe va su asiwò azɔ le alesi `(Clique)` sia kpɔa ŋusẽ ɖe ɖeviwo ƒe agbenɔnɔ dzi, kuxi siwo wòate ŋu ahe vɛ, kple alesi wòle be míakpɔ egbɔe ŋu. Ðo ŋku edzi be ɖevi ɖesiaɖe doa go nuteƒekpɔkpɔ siawo ƒomevi le eƒe agbemeɣeyiɣi aɖe me. Enye nusi sɔ. Nu vevitɔ kekeakee nye be nàƒo nu kple viwòa faa, aɖo toe, eye nàna wòase le eɖokui me ɣesiaɣi be wò kpekpeɖeŋu, lɔlɔ̃, kple beléle le ye ŋu.

• Xɔlɔ̃wɔwɔ le vevie ŋutɔ, gake mehiã be nàbɔbɔ ɖokuiwò ɖe ``(Cliques)'' ƒe nyaƒoɖeamenu kple se siwo mehiã o te o.
• De dzi ƒo na viwòa ɣesiaɣi be wòawɔ nusi wòsusu be esɔ, le eya ŋutɔ ƒe dzitsinya nu.
• Fia wo be woawɔ nu ɖe ​​amewo ŋu dɔmenyotɔe, ade bubu wo ŋu, eye woase ame bubuwo ƒe seselelãmewo gɔme.
• Ne kuxi aɖe le fu ɖem na viwòa la, de dzi ƒo na wo be woaƒo nu tso eŋu eye nàbia kpekpeɖeŋu. Esia ate ŋu atso wò, nufiala, alo ame tsitsi bubu si dzi woka ɖo gbɔ.

Ne nusiawo le susu me na wò la, àte ŋu akpe ɖe viwòa ŋu godoo be wòazɔ hadomenuwɔna sesẽ siawo me dzidzedzetɔe. Ekema anɔ bɔbɔe na wo be woadze xɔlɔ̃ siwo le lãmesẽ me, siwo me dzidzɔ le, kple esiwo anɔ anyi ɖaa. Dzidzɔtɔe na wò kple viwòa!

` Ðeviwo ƒe xɔlɔ̃wɔwɔ, suku gbevuhawo, hatiwo ƒe nyaƒoɖeamenu, dzilawo ƒe aɖaŋuɖoɖo, habɔbɔwo, hadomenunya