Many of us have a habit of criticizing ourselves, blaming ourselves. This is especially common when we are going through a difficult time in our lives and when we are losing control of our actions and words. This has become a common way of talking to ourselves. Does this sound familiar to you? So let's talk about it a little.
What is this negative thinking?
Simply put, a basic principle of psychology is that as humans, we all tend to give more weight to the things that go wrong in our lives than to the good things that happen. Think about it, instead of nine good responses, you get one bad response that sticks in your mind. Because of this, the negative experiences in our lives can affect us about four times more strongly than the positive ones.
It's true that bad experiences are necessary to move forward in life and learn from mistakes. However, constantly dwelling on the bad things that happened and dwelling on those feelings can be very damaging to your life and happiness. That's what we call negative thinking.
So does 'positive thinking' mean just smiling?
Not at all. Positive thinking doesn't mean ignoring the bad and difficult things in life. It means facing those bad things with a better attitude. It means trying to see everything in an optimistic way instead of seeing everything in a pessimistic way. It's like thinking, "Oh, there's still half a glass of water in there," instead of thinking that the glass is half empty.
To get to this point, you first need to pay close attention to the way you talk to yourself, your internal monologue. You can talk to yourself in a positive way, or you can talk to yourself in a negative way. Sometimes the things you say to yourself may seem very logical, but sometimes they may be completely emotional and negative.
If most of the things you tell yourself are negative, you're probably a pessimist. You might start thinking to yourself, "Oh, I wish I could add a little more joy and lightness to my life."
How do we change this habit?
Although it can be difficult to turn this negative self-blame habit into a positive one, it is not impossible. But remember that it takes time and practice . Let's look at some ways to help you make this change.
| What to do | What happens to it? |
|---|---|
| Be mindful of your negative thoughts. | Take a moment to notice when and what negative thoughts come to you. Is it about your job? Relationships? First, choose just one area and focus on it. |
| Look after yourself during the day. | Take a moment during your day's work to stop and see if good or bad thoughts are running through your mind. If bad thoughts are running through your mind, try to encourage yourself. |
| Smile, have fun. | Having a sense of humor can greatly increase your positivity. When you laugh, stress decreases. When stress decreases, it's easier to look at life in a positive light. |
| Follow a healthy lifestyle. | Make a habit of exercising for 30 minutes a day, eating nutritious foods, and trying stress-reduction methods. Giving your mind and body good things can greatly improve your mood. |
| Reach out to those who support you. | Surround yourself with people who encourage you and add positive meaning to your life. It's important to have people in your life who can give you good advice and support. People who say everything is wrong will only add to your stress. |
| Speak kindly to yourself (Positive self-talk) | Be kind to yourself. Encourage yourself even when a bad thought comes to mind. Focus on your good qualities, the things you like about yourself. The golden rule is: If you wouldn't tell your best friend something, it's no use telling yourself. |
Be realistic, this will take time.
Worrying about negative thoughts can be another negative thing. Remember, you are trying to develop positivity and self-compassion . Be realistic about how long it will take to break this habit. Understand that it takes time to change a habit like this.
You may find that you need to make some changes in your life to be more positive. For example, you might set boundaries with certain people or turn off the TV if the news is making you feel too stressed.
Also, consider changing the priorities you give to certain things in your life. Making time for things you enjoy will enrich your life, lift your mood , and boost your self-confidence.
Take-Home Message
- Negative thinking is not your personal weakness, it is a habit that many people have.
- It is entirely possible to change this habit with practice and effort.
- First, start observing your thoughts without judgment.
- A healthy lifestyle and a supportive group of friends are very important on this journey.
- Be kind to yourself. Treat yourself the same way you would treat your best friend.
- If these thoughts are causing you too much distress to control, never hesitate to talk to your doctor about it.
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