Has your child just started school? Does the school often call you out for misbehaving, being unfocused, or having trouble paying attention? You may be wondering, "What did I do wrong? Why is my child behaving like this?" If so, you're not alone. You're not the only one who's had this experience. Many parents struggle with these kinds of issues. Today, we're going to talk about ADHD, a condition that can cause this, and how you can make life easier for a family with a child like this.
What is ADHD? Is medication alone enough?
Simply put, ADHD, or Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, is a developmental disorder in a child's brain. It's not the child's fault or the parents' fault. It can cause children to have difficulty paying attention (inability to focus) , control their thoughts (impulsivity) , and have difficulty staying focused (hyperactivity) .
In most cases, a doctor may prescribe medication for a child with ADHD. There are two types of medication: `Psychostimulants` (such as `Ritalin`) and `Nonstimulants` (such as `Strattera`). But the most important thing to remember is that whether or not to give your child medication, what to give, and how much to give, is a decision that should be made entirely between you and your child's doctor .
Some children get good results from medication quickly. But for some children, it takes a while to find the right medication and dosage. Also, some children may experience other side effects from medication, such as increased anxiety.
Remember, pills cannot teach a child life skills. Medicine is just one tool in this journey. Once the child has calmed down a bit with medication and is able to focus, that is the best time to teach the child other life skills, such as time management and emotion regulation.
Lifestyle changes - the impact of diet and exercise
In addition to medication, there are many other things you can try. Dietary changes and exercise in particular have been found to have a significant impact on the behavior of children with ADHD.
For example, taking your child for a 15-minute jog or walk before school can help them stay calm throughout the day. Also, cutting down on sugary foods and artificially colored foods can be beneficial for many children. Sometimes giving them vitamins (found through genetic testing, for example) can help. But it's important to talk to your doctor before doing anything like this.
But the biggest challenge here is trying to do all of this at once.
"As parents of an ADHD child, we think we have to do everything 100% right. Diet, exercise, medication, extra classes... If you try to do all of these things at once, you'll end up exhausted, bored, and giving up. Don't do that. Start small, do what you can, and do it the right way. "
The most important thing: how to shape our minds as parents
As important as things like medication, exercise , and support from school are, there is something more important than all of these. That is the way we as parents look at our child and our mindset . The day you change this, you will feel how much the home environment will change.
There's a really cool way to understand this. It's called the concept of `Executive Age.` Simply put, ADHD is a delay in the brain's executive function. That means that things like emotional control, attention, and planning develop a little later than a child's actual age. This delay is usually about a third of the child's age.
Imagine, if your child is 9 years old, his executive functioning is probably about the age of 6. Now instead of thinking, "A 9-year-old can't behave like this," start thinking, "How can I explain this to a 6-year-old?" This small change will dramatically increase your patience and kindness to your child.
Another important thing to always keep in mind is this:
"The child is not giving you trouble, he is in trouble."
When a child screams, rolls on the floor, or struggles with words, they are trying to tell you, "I'm having trouble with something, help me." If we learn to look at it that way, instead of getting angry, we feel compassion for the child. Then it is much easier to solve problems.
Practical tips to make daily tasks easier
Living with an ADHD child can be challenging at times. Here are some practical tips to make it easier.
| Strategy | Explanation and examples |
|---|---|
| Reminder to do the work at the right time | ADHD children tend to forget things if they are told in advance. So remind them when they need to do them. Set an alarm on their phone, and stick a post-it note on their door. For example, write "Put your homework book in your bag" and stick it on the door. |
| Motivation | It's not enough to just give your child a list of things to do. You also need to motivate them to do them. Offer encouragement like, "Let's finish this task and then play your favorite game." |
| Consistency | Make it a habit to do difficult tasks at the same time every day. For example, if you start doing homework at 6 p.m. every day, set an alarm for that time and make it a habit. |
| Quick Rewards | These kids have to be constantly scolded. So to make up their minds, praise even small successes. Instead of a weekly chore chart, start with a daily one. Something like, "You cleaned your room today, so I'm giving you a little gift today." |
How do you cope with difficult days?
Even with all this, some days are really hard. There are days when the child doesn't listen to anything and shouts at everything. What do you do on a day like that?
The best thing to do is to think, "Today is not a good day for that" and leave it at that . When your child is in a very difficult situation, he can't do his homework. You can't talk to him and plan something. It's impossible. At such times, put homework aside for one night. Make up your mind, "Let's do it tomorrow, or this weekend." Sometimes, the best thing to do is just to do nothing .
Put aside how others view you and what society expects of you, and think about what is best for your family.
Take-Home Message
- ADHD is not a child's bad behavior, it's a medical condition. Don't feel guilty about it.
- Medication is only one aid in this journey. Always discuss it with your doctor.
- The biggest factor in the success of this journey is your mindset as a parent and the way you view your child.
- Understand your child's 'executive age'. This will make it easier for you to get down to their level and work.
- Remember this mantra: "The child is not giving you trouble, he is in trouble."
- Above all, build a loving relationship with your child. All they want is a mother and father who are there for them and who love them.
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