Sometimes, even when we are surrounded by many people and live with a large family, we still feel very lonely, don't we? Or when we move to a new city for a job, or when we lose a loved one, the loneliness and loneliness we feel... This is not just a feeling of sadness. This loneliness is deeper than we think, and it even affects our physical health. So let's talk about this today.
What exactly is this loneliness?
First, we need to understand this. Being alone and feeling lonely are two different things. You may want to be alone to read a book or watch a movie on your own. There's nothing wrong with that. But loneliness is something different.
Simply put, loneliness is the feeling of being disconnected from others. Imagine you're at an office party, surrounded by people, everyone is laughing and talking, but you feel alone. You feel like there's no one to share your feelings with, no one who truly understands you. That's what loneliness is.
"You decide what loneliness means to you," says Louise Hockley, a senior research scientist at the University of Chicago. "No one else can tell you, 'You can't be lonely.'"
That means this is a very personal feeling. It's normal to feel this way when you break up with someone you've been with for years, or when you move to a new city. But you can feel this loneliness even without any major changes.
How does loneliness affect our bodies?
This is the most important thing. Loneliness is not only painful for the soul, it also directly affects our physical health. In fact, loneliness is a risk factor for a number of diseases.
Research has found that loneliness reduces our body's ability to cope with daily stress. It also reduces the body's ability to control inflammation . This can lead to various health problems over time.
| Impact | Possible health problems |
|---|---|
| Blood pressure | Increased risk of high blood pressure. |
| Sleep | Sleep problems such as insomnia and poor sleep quality. |
| Inflammation | Increased inflammation in the body increases the risk of developing conditions such as atherosclerosis , rheumatoid arthritis , and tendinitis . |
| Immune system | Increased risk of frequent illnesses due to a weakened immune system. |
Although many of these diseases appear in middle age, the damage they cause to the body begins much earlier. What happens is that, along with the stress caused by loneliness, certain chemicals released by our bodies (stress chemicals) gradually begin to damage our blood vessels.
But I also want to say this. It's normal to feel lonely at times in life. There's no need to be afraid of it. It's like we get thirsty for water. Thirst for water tells us that our body needs water. Similarly, the feeling of loneliness comes to remind us that we need social connections, the company of people.
Okay, so how do you get out of this loneliness?
Although there is no cure for loneliness, there are things we can do to manage the feeling and overcome it. Think of loneliness as something that is not permanent, but something that motivates us to take action.
1. Get out and socialize with people.
You don't have to be best friends with the people around you. Start with small things.
- Smile when you see one of your neighbors.
- When you go to the store in the morning , have a word or two with the cashier.
- Go for a walk around your neighborhood. You'll meet new people.
Even small interactions like these will make a big difference. Gradually, you will realize that you are a part of this community.
2. Be careful when choosing friends.
When we are feeling lonely, we may think, "Oh, I wish I had someone to talk to." But at times like these, we are more likely to rush into life and bring people into our lives who are not right for us and who cause us trouble . Therefore,
- Be patient.
- Try to find a good friend who is really compatible with you, respects your opinions , and is low-drama.
3. Think positively.
People who suffer from loneliness often think negatively. They often think things like, "No one likes me," "If I talk to them, they'll reject me." When you think like this, you're more likely to actually do that.
There are treatments that can help change these thought patterns. For example, Social Cognitive Therapy is a type of counseling that can be very helpful in these situations. It helps us identify and change negative thoughts we have about how others view us.
If you're struggling with these thoughts, don't suffer alone. Talk to your family doctor about it. He or she can give you the guidance you need.
Take-Home Message
- Loneliness is not only a mental pain, it can also be the cause of a number of physical illnesses, such as high blood pressure and insomnia.
- Being alone and feeling lonely are two different things. You can feel lonely even when you're surrounded by lots of people.
- Don't be afraid of feeling lonely. It's like thirst, your body's signal that you need social connections.
- Start with small things. Things like smiling at a neighbor or starting a small conversation can help you overcome loneliness.
- If you feel like your thoughts are heavy on the negative side, meaning you often think things like 'no one likes me,' talk to a doctor about it and seek counseling if necessary.
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