Ke hakakā nei ʻoe me ke kaomi a nā hoa? E kamaʻilio kākou e pili ana i ia mea!

Ke koi aku nei paha kou mau hoa, ʻo ia hoʻi kou mau hoa papa, iā ʻoe e hana i nā mea? I kekahi manawa hiki ke lilo i mea maikaʻi, akā i kekahi manawa hiki iā lākou ke koi aku iā ʻoe e hana i ka mea hewa. No laila i kēia lā e kamaʻilio mākou e pili ana i ke ʻano o kēia 'kaomi' a i ʻole ka mana, a pehea e hiki ai iā mākou ke hoʻoponopono pono iā ia. He kumuhana koʻikoʻi kēia ʻaʻole wale no nā kamaliʻi liʻiliʻi, akā no ʻoukou pū kekahi, nā ʻōpio, a no kou mau mākua.

He aha ke kaomi o nā hoa?

I ka ʻōlelo maʻalahi, ʻo 'Peers' nā poʻe ʻē aʻe o kou mau makahiki. ʻO ia hoʻi ka poʻe e like me kou mau hoaaloha kula, nā hoa papa, a i ʻole nā ​​hoalauna o kou mau makahiki. No laila, ke manaʻo kēia poʻe e pono ʻoe e hana i kekahi ʻano, a i ʻole e hoʻāʻo e hoʻoikaika iā ʻoe e hana i kekahi mea, ʻo ia ka mea a mākou e kapa nei he kaomi hoa .

I kekahi manawa, ʻoiai inā ʻaʻole hoʻohuli pololei kāu mau hoaaloha iā ʻoe, makemake paha ʻoe e like me lākou. He mea maʻamau ka manaʻo e like kākou a pau. No ka mea, ʻo wai ka mea makemake e noho mehameha, ʻeā? Makemake mākou a pau e pili i kahi hui o nā hoaaloha, e hana pū me lākou. He ʻano kanaka ia.

ʻAʻohe hewa o ka makemake ʻana i nā mea a kou mau hoaaloha a me nā hoa papa e makemake ai, a me ka hana ʻana i kā lākou hana, akā inā manaʻo ʻoe he kūpono maoli kēlā mau mea iā ʻoe . Akā, ʻo ka mea maikaʻi loa e pili ana i kēia mau mea a pau, ʻo ia ke lilo ʻana iā ʻoe iho. I kekahi manawa, ʻaʻohe mea nui inā e hoʻokaʻawale iā ʻoe mai nā poʻe ʻē aʻe. ʻO kou ʻano, kou ala ponoʻī, ka mea nui. He mea nui ka waiwai nui o ke kūkulu ʻana i kahi mea ponoʻī ma mua o ka hoʻohālike ʻana.

Pehea ka mana o kou mau hoaaloha iā ʻoe?

Hiki i nā hoaaloha ke hoʻohuli kekahi i kekahi ma ka hoʻolilo manawa pū ʻana. Aʻo ʻoe i nā mea mai iā lākou, a aʻo lākou i nā mea mai iā ʻoe. He mea maʻamau ka hoʻolohe a me ke aʻo ʻana mai nā poʻe ʻē aʻe o kou mau makahiki. E noʻonoʻo e pili ana i ia mea, hoʻolilo ʻoe i ka hapa nui o kou lā me kāu mau hoaaloha. No laila, ʻo kā lākou ʻano, kā lākou kamaʻilio ʻana, ko lākou ʻano ʻaʻahu, ko lākou makemake a me nā mea ʻole e pili iā ʻoe me ka ʻike ʻole ʻoe.

Hiki i nā hoaaloha ke hoʻohuli iā ʻoe ma nā ʻano he nui. Eia kekahi laʻana, ʻike paha ʻoe i nā ʻano lole hou loa a kāu mau hoa papa e ʻaʻahu nei, makemake iā lākou, a hoʻomaka e ʻaʻahu iā lākou iho. Pēlā nō, ʻike paha kāu mau hoaaloha i kāu mea e hana nei a hoʻomaka e hana i nā mea like. Hele kēia i nā ʻaoʻao ʻelua.

Aia nō hoʻi nā mana maikaʻi.

ʻAʻole wale nā ​​hoaaloha he mana maikaʻi ʻole. Aia kekahi mau mana maikaʻi . E noʻonoʻo e pili ana i kēia ʻano. Malia paha he hoaaloha ma kāu papa ʻepekema e aʻo iā ʻoe i kahi ala e hoʻomanaʻo maʻalahi ai i nā hōkūhele o ka ʻōnaehana lā. Kōkua nui kēlā iā ʻoe me kāu mau haʻawina. A i ʻole, ʻike ʻoe i kahi hoaaloha ma kāu hui kriket e pāʻani ana me ke aʻo nui, e mahalo ana i nā poʻe ʻē aʻe, a e ʻae ana i ka eo, a hoʻāʻo ʻoe e like me kēlā hoaaloha. Hoʻopili pū kēlā i kou ʻano.

Eia kekahi, e noʻonoʻo e pili ana i ia mea, malia paha e haʻi aku ʻoe i kāu mau hoaaloha e pili ana i kahi puke maikaʻi āu i heluhelu ai, a e paipai ʻia lākou e heluhelu pū kekahi. A laila e hoʻomaikaʻi nā mea a pau i ko lākou ʻike. He mea maikaʻi nā mea e like me kēia, ʻeā? Inā ʻike ʻoe i kahi hoaaloha o kāu e ala ana i ke kakahiaka nui a e aʻo ana, makemake paha ʻoe e hana like. A i ʻole e hui pū ana kāu mau hoa papa a e hōʻiliʻili kālā ana e kōkua i kahi keiki ʻilihune. Ua kapa ʻia kēia he Positive Peer Pressure .

Akā hiki nō hoʻi ke loaʻa nā mana maikaʻi ʻole.

Eia nō naʻe, hiki i nā hoaaloha ke hoʻohuli kekahi i kekahi ma ke ʻano maikaʻi ʻole. Hiki iā lākou ke hoʻāʻo e koi iā ʻoe e hana i kahi mea a lākou i ʻike ai he hewa . ʻO kēia ka mea a mākou e noʻonoʻo pinepine ai i ka wā e noʻonoʻo ai mākou i ke kaomi o nā hoa.

Eia kekahi laʻana, e noʻonoʻo e hoʻāʻo ana kekahi mau keiki ma ke kula e hoʻowalewale iā ʻoe e hōʻalo i ka papa me lākou. Hiki iā ʻoe ke ʻōlelo, "Mai hele i ka papa mōʻaukala i kēia lā, e hele kāua e ʻike i kahi kiʻiʻoniʻoni." A i ʻole, ke hoʻāʻo nei kekahi o kāu hui pôpeku e koi iā ʻoe e hana ʻino i kahi mea pāʻani ʻē aʻe a ke ʻōlelo aku nei iā ʻoe ʻaʻole loa e hāʻawi iā ia. Hiki iā ʻoe ke ʻōlelo i nā mea e like me, "Pono ʻo ia e aʻo ʻia i kahi haʻawina."

I kekahi manawa ʻē aʻe, kāhea aku kekahi keiki mai kou kauhale iā ʻoe e kūʻai i kahi mea mai kahi hale kūʻai me ia. Hoʻāʻo ʻo ia e hoʻohuli iā ʻoe ma ka ʻōlelo ʻana, 'He mea liʻiliʻi ia, ʻaʻohe mea e ʻike.' E noʻonoʻo, kāhea aku kāu hoaaloha maikaʻi loa iā ʻoe e puhi i kahi cigarette, me ka ʻōlelo ʻana, 'E hoʻāʻo kāua no kekahi manawa, ʻaʻohe mea e ʻike, ʻo kēia ka leʻaleʻa.'

E aha hana ʻoe?

E hāʻawi anei ʻoe i kēlā mana a hui pū me lākou? A i ʻole e haʻalele anei ʻoe mai ia mea no ka mea ua ʻike ʻoe he hewa ia?

I kekahi manawa he mea maʻalahi ke ʻike i ka mea kūpono, akā he mea paʻakikī ke hana . ʻO ka noʻonoʻo ʻana i kēia mau mea ma mua e hiki ke kōkua iā ʻoe e hoʻomākaukau e hana i ka mea kūpono. Eia kekahi, ke hana ʻoe i ka mea kūpono, hiki iā ʻoe ke hoʻonoho i kahi kumu hoʻohālike maikaʻi no kāu mau hoaaloha.

No ke aha e hāʻule maʻalahi ai kekahi mau keiki i kēia mau mana?

Ua hāʻule kekahi mau keiki i ke kaomi a nā hoa no ka mea makemake lākou e ʻoluʻolu i nā poʻe ʻē aʻe, a no ka mea manaʻo lākou e maʻalahi iā lākou ke komo a hui pū me ka hui. Hopohopo kekahi inā ʻaʻole lākou e ʻōlelo i kēia, e hoʻokaʻawale kekahi iā lākou, ʻakaʻaka iā lākou, a kipaku paha iā lākou mai ka hui. He manaʻo maʻamau loa kēia, ʻoiai i ka wā ʻōpiopio.

Ua hāʻule kekahi poʻe i ka hoihoi. Makemake paha lākou e hoʻāʻo i kahi mea hou a kekahi e hana nei. Aia kekahi poʻe e noʻonoʻo nei, 'Ke hana nei nā mea a pau, no laila no ke aha e hiki ʻole ai iaʻu? He aha ka mea e hiki mai ana inā hoʻāʻo iki wau?' a laila hana ia ʻoiai ua ʻike lākou he hewa.

ʻO kekahi mea ʻē aʻe, i kekahi manawa, ʻo nā keiki i hilinaʻi ʻole iā lākou iho, ʻaʻohe o lākou ikaika e kū no ko lākou mau manaʻo ponoʻī, e hāʻule maʻalahi lākou i ia mau manaʻo. Hoʻomohala lākou i kahi ʻano nāwaliwali e like me, 'Auē, e hana kākou no ka mea ua ʻōlelo lākou pēlā'. Ke maopopo ʻole iā lākou ko lākou pono ponoʻī , ʻoi aku ka maʻalahi o lākou e hāʻule koke i nā manaʻo o haʻi. Ke nalowale ko lākou ʻike i ko lākou ʻano a me ko lākou mau palena, pono lākou e kū i kēia kūlana.

No laila pehea ʻoe e ʻōlelo ai 'ʻaʻole' i kēia mau mana?

ʻAe, e nānā kākou pehea e hiki ai iā kākou ke ʻōlelo ʻaʻole i kēia mau kaomi hoa makemake ʻole ʻia a noho palekana mai iā lākou. ʻO ka hoʻomanaʻo ʻana i kēia mau mea e kōkua nui iā ʻoe. ʻAʻole kēia he mau ʻōlelo aʻoaʻo wale nō, he mau mea ia e hiki iā ʻoe ke hoʻokō.

1. ʻIke pono i ka mea kūpono

ʻO ka mea mua, e hoʻomaopopo i ka mea kūpono a me ka mea hewa e like me kou lunamanaʻo . E nīnau iā ʻoe iho, 'He kūpono maoli anei kēia e hana? E hōʻeha anei iaʻu a i ʻole nā ​​​​​​mea ʻē aʻe?' I ka hapa nui o nā hihia, ua ʻike mua ʻoe i ka pane. Inā ʻike ʻoe i loko o kou lunamanaʻo ua hewa kekahi mea, pono ʻoe e loaʻa ka ikaika e hana ʻole ai. Ke ʻike ʻoe i ka mea kūpono, ʻoi aku ka maʻalahi iā ʻoe ke kūpaʻa i kēlā manaʻo. ʻAʻohe mea a kekahi e ʻōlelo ai, pono ʻoe e hiki ke noʻonoʻo, 'ʻAʻole, ʻaʻole hiki iaʻu ke hana i kēia, he hewa kēia, a e aloha mai koʻu mau mākua iaʻu.'

2. E ʻimi i hoaaloha e noho pū me ʻoe.

He ikaika nui ka loaʻa ʻana o hoʻokahi hoaaloha ʻē aʻe e mākaukau e kōkua iā ʻoe e ʻōlelo 'ʻaʻole'. E hōʻemi kēia i ka hopena o ke kaomi o nā hoa i kahi nui . E noʻonoʻo, i ka wā e hoʻāʻo nei kahi hui o ka poʻe e koi iā ʻoe e hana hewa, pehea ka maikaʻi inā e noho ana kāu hoaaloha ma kou ʻaoʻao a ʻōlelo 'ʻaʻole, ʻaʻole mākou e hana i kēlā, ʻaʻole ia he mea maikaʻi'? He mea maikaʻi maoli ka loaʻa ʻana o nā hoaaloha e kākoʻo iā ʻoe a kū pū me ʻoe ke ʻole ʻoe makemake e hana i kekahi mea. ʻO nā hoaaloha e like me ia he mau hoaaloha maoli.

3. Kōkua i kahi hoaaloha

Malia paha ʻike ʻoe i kahi hoaaloha ou e paʻakikī nei e ʻōlelo 'ʻaʻole' i kēia ʻano mana. Malia paha ua makaʻu ʻo ia. A laila hiki iā ʻoe ke kōkua i kēlā hoaaloha. E ʻōlelo, 'Aia pū wau me ʻoe - e hele kāua.' A i ʻole, e ʻōlelo, 'Mai hana kākou i kēia, ʻaʻole kēia he mea maikaʻi.' Ke ʻōlelo ʻoe i kēlā, e manaʻo pū ana kēlā hoaaloha he ikaika loa. Ke kōkua ʻoe i kekahi, e lilo ʻoe i ikaika pū kekahi.

4. E puka i waho.

Inā ʻoe e kū nei i kēia ʻano kaomi ke noho kaʻawale ʻoe, aia nō nā mea hiki iā ʻoe ke hana. Inā ʻike ʻoe e koi mau ana kekahi mau hoaaloha iā ʻoe e hana i nā mea hewa, hiki iā ʻoe ke pale aku iā lākou . Inā hoʻowalewale lākou iā ʻoe e hana i kahi mea hewa, e ʻōlelo, 'ʻAʻole, e ke kaikunāne/kaikuahine/kaikuahine, ʻaʻole hiki iaʻu, he mau mea ʻē aʻe kaʻu e hana ai' a hele aku. ʻAʻole pono ʻoe e hāʻawi i ke kumu no ia. E ʻōlelo wale 'ʻaʻole' a haʻalele. ʻOi aku ka maikaʻi, e launa pū me nā hoaaloha ʻē aʻe a me nā hoa papa e hāʻawi iā ʻoe i ka hui maikaʻi, e mahalo i kou mau manaʻo, a e paipai iā ʻoe e hana i nā mea maikaʻi.

5. E ʻimi i ka ʻōlelo aʻo mai kahi pākeke

I kekahi manawa, he mea paʻakikī ke hoʻomanawanui i kēia mau kaomi. Hiki paha iā ʻoe ke manaʻo ua hoʻoweliweli ʻia. I kēlā hihia, e ʻimi i ka ʻōlelo aʻo mai kahi pākeke āu e hilinaʻi ai. E kamaʻilio me kou makuahine, makuakāne, kaikuaʻana, kaikuahine, kumu, a i ʻole kākāʻōlelo ma ke kula.. E hoʻohauʻoli nui ia iā ʻoe. E kōkua pū lākou iā ʻoe e hoʻomākaukau no ka manawa aʻe e kū ai ʻoe i kahi kūlana like. ʻOiai ʻoi aku ko lākou ʻike ma ke ola ma mua ou, hiki iā lākou ke hāʻawi iā ʻoe i nā ʻōlelo aʻoaʻo maikaʻi, ʻoiai e pili ana i nā ʻano o ke ola āu i ʻike ʻole ai. E ʻōlelo me ka makaʻu ʻole.

Kaomi Hoa Maikaʻi

E like me kā mākou i kamaʻilio ai ma mua, ʻaʻole ia he mea maikaʻi ʻole ka mana o nā hoa. ʻOiaʻiʻo, hiki ke hoʻohana ikaika ʻia no nā mea maikaʻi. Eia kekahi laʻana, hiki i nā hoaaloha ke hoʻoikaika i nā keiki ʻē aʻe e lokomaikaʻi, kūpono, a aloha. E noʻonoʻo, kōkua kekahi o kāu papa i kahi keiki hou, a ʻike nā poʻe ʻē aʻe a hoʻomaka e kōkua i kēlā keiki. He mea maikaʻi anei ia? A i ʻole, hui pū ka papa holoʻokoʻa a hana i kahi papahana e hoʻonani ai i ka māla kula. Hoʻohui nā mea ʻē aʻe a pau i ka hana maikaʻi a hoʻomaka ai kekahi a ʻelua paha kānaka.

ʻOiaʻiʻo, ke hui pū nā keiki ma ke ʻano he hui, hiki iā lākou ke hoʻoikaika kekahi i kekahi e hana i ka mea kūpono! I kekahi manawa, ʻoiai nā mea maikaʻi āu e manaʻo ai ʻaʻole hiki iā ʻoe ke hana hoʻokahi hiki ke hana ʻia ke hui pū ʻoe me kāu mau hoaaloha. Eia kekahi laʻana, inā palaualelo ʻoe e aʻo ana no kahi hoʻokolohua, a ke kūkākūkā nei kahi hui o nā hoaaloha, makemake paha ʻoe e hui pū, ʻeā? ʻO ia ke ʻano o ka mana maikaʻi. No laila, hiki iā ʻoe ke lilo i mana maikaʻi i kāu mau hoaaloha.

Nā mea nui loa āu e hoʻomanaʻo ai (Leka Lawe-Home)

No laila, ʻo kēia (Peer Pressure) a i ʻole ka mana mai nā hoaaloha he mea ia e hoʻopilikia ai i ko kākou ola a pau i kekahi ʻano. ʻO ka mea nui loa, ʻo ia ka ʻike ʻana i kēia mau mana a kū i mua o lākou me ke akamai. E hoʻomanaʻo i kēia mau mea.

• E noho ʻoe iho: Ma mua o ka hoʻāʻo ʻana e like me nā poʻe ʻē aʻe, e ola i kou ola ponoʻī, e ʻoiaʻiʻo iā ʻoe iho. ʻO ia kahi e waiho ai kou waiwai.
• E koho i ka mea kūpono: E hoʻolohe i kou puʻuwai. Inā manaʻo ʻoe ua hewa kekahi mea, e ikaika e pale aku i ka hana ʻana.
• Mai makaʻu e ʻōlelo 'ʻaʻole': ʻO ka ʻōlelo ʻana 'ʻaʻole' i kahi mea hewa ʻaʻole ia he hōʻailona o ka nāwaliwali, he mea ia e hōʻike ana i kou ikaika, ke kūpaʻa o kou ʻano.
• E hoʻopuni iā ​​ʻoe iho me nā hoaaloha maikaʻi: E hoʻopuni iā ​​ʻoe iho me nā hoaaloha e kōkua iā ʻoe me nā mea maikaʻi, mahalo i kou mau manaʻo, a paipai iā ʻoe.
• E noi i ke kōkua: Ke manaʻo ʻoe ua kaumaha ʻoe a i ʻole he pilikia kāu e hiki ʻole ai ke lawelawe hoʻokahi, mai kānalua e noi i ke kōkua mai kahi pākeke hilinaʻi.

ʻO ka mea hope loa, ʻo ʻoe ka mea nāna e hoʻoholo i kou ola. E loaʻa iā ʻoe ka ikaika e koho i ka mea kūpono, e manaʻoʻiʻo iā ʻoe iho, a e hauʻoli, me ka ʻole o ke kaomi ʻana o nā hoa! Hiki iā ʻoe ke hana!

Ka mana o nā hoa, ka mana o nā hoa, pehea e ʻōlelo ai 'ʻaʻole', nā hoaaloha maikaʻi, ka hoʻowalewale ʻia e hana hewa, ka mahalo iā ʻoe iho, nā ʻōlelo aʻoaʻo a ka poʻe mākua