Yu smɔl pikin de du bad to insɛf? (Self-Harm) - Mek wi tok abaut dis!

Bɔku tɛm wi kin yɛri se sɔm yɔŋ pikin dɛn kin kɔt dɛnsɛf. Bɔt fɔ du bad to yusɛf nɔto jɔs fɔ kɔt ɔ brus wit reza, nɛf, ɔ siza. Sɔm pikin dɛn kin bɔn dɛnsɛf, skrach dɛnsɛf, bit dɛnsɛf, nak dɛn ed, pul dɛn ia, pinch dɛnsɛf, chuk dɛn skin wit shap tin lɛk nidul, ɔ put tin dɛn ɔnda dɛn skin. I rili kɔmplikt pas dat. I nɔmal fɔ mek yu shɔk ɛn wɔri we yu kam fɔ no se yu pikin de du sɔntin lɛk dat. So, lɛ wi tɔk bɔt dis smɔl mɔ, nɔto so?

Wetin mek yɔŋ pikin dɛn kin du bad to dɛnsɛf?

Fɔ tru, wetin mek wi smɔl pikin dɛn kin du bad to dɛnsɛf dis kayn we? Tink bɔt dis, wae dɛn de fil so strɛs, sɔri, vɛks, ɔr pwɛl hat wae dɛn nɔr kin ebul fɔ bia, bɔrku tɛm dɛn kin du dɛn tin ya as fɔ tray fɔ stɔp ɔr pul dɛn kayn bad bad filin de fɔ sɔm tɛm. Dis nɔto fɔ tray fɔ dɔn dɛn layf. Bɔt dis min se dɛn kin gɛt bɔku prɔblɛm wit dɛn maynd, we na prɔblɛm wit dɛn maynd we nid fɔ pe atɛnshɔn. Sɔntɛnde, pan yɔŋ pikin dɛn, we dɛn kɔmpin dɛn de mɔna dɛn , dat kin mek dɛn gɛt dɛn tin ya bak. I kin bigin wit tink lɛk ‘ɔda pipul dɛn de du am, misɛf fɔ tray am’, dɔn i kin bi abit. Sɔm pikin dɛn kin gɛt bɔku prɛshɔn fɔ du ɔltin pafɛkt wan (perfectionism) , ɛn i nɔ kin izi fɔ lɛ dɛn bia ivin di smɔl mistek. Ɔda pipul dɛn kin du sɔntin bikɔs dɛn vɛks, dɛn at pwɛl, dɛn nɔ gɛt wan valyu , ɛn dɛn nɔ gɛt op , ɛn dɛn nɔ kin ebul fɔ kɔntrol di we aw dɛn de fil. Sɔmtɛm, dis kin kam bikɔs ɔf tin dɛm wae kin mek pɔrsin fil bad ɔr tin dɛm wae kin mek pɔrsin fil pen frɔm trade wae nɔr kin no bɔt. Dis na rili tin dɛn we yɔŋ pikin dɛn kin gɛt ɛn dɛn kin kip dɛn bɔtul insay. Bɔt as pipul dɛn de no mɔ bɔt dis na sosayti, bɔku pikin dɛn naw gɛt di chans fɔ gɛt di ɛp we dɛn nid. Mɛmba se, di mɔ we yu no dis, na di mɔ mama ɛn papa dɛn go ebul fɔ ɛp dɛn pikin. Bikɔs fɔ du bad to insɛf kin bi abit , ɛn sɔntɛnde, i kin izi fɔ mek pɔsin gɛt siriɔs injury ɔ sik we i nɔ bin want.

Aw yu go ɛp as mama ɔ papa?

Naw lɛ wi luk wetin yu go du as mama ɔ papa we yu kam fɔ no se yu pikin de du bad to dɛnsɛf.

Ɔndastand aw yu de fil fɔs.

Di fɔs tin fɔ ɔndastand na dat we yu kam fɔ no se yu pikin de du bad to insɛf, ɔ yu tink se dɛn kin du am, i nɔmal fɔ fil difrɛn kayn filin dɛn. Yu kin fil sɔprayz, vɛks, sɔri, fred, pwɛl at, ɔ kɔnfyus. Yu kin fil bad, de wɔnda se, "Wetin mek mi pikin nɔ kam to mi fɔ ɛp?" ɔ yu kin blem yusɛf, de wɔnda se, "Wetin mek a nɔ bin no dis kwik?" Ɔl dɛn filin ya kin rili ɔndastand. Bɔt mɛmba se dis nɔto yu fɔlt ɔ yu pikin in fɔlt. So, tek sɔm tɛm fɔ no us filin dɛn de kam to yu fɔs. Tɔk dɛn wit pɔsin ɛn mek dɛn kɔmɔt. Sɔntɛm i go fayn fɔ kray, tɔk to yu tayt padi, ɔ go waka fɔ mek yu maynd klin, ɔ jɔs tink kwayɛt wan. If yu fil se dɛn filin ya tumɔs fɔ bia, fɔ tɔk to dɔktɔ kin ɛp yu fɔ sɔlv dɛn tin ya ɛn gɛt sɔm we fɔ si tin. Dɔn yu kin gi yu pikin di sɔpɔt we yu nid wit kol at.

Risach dis gud gud wan ɛn mek dɛn no bɔt dis.

Neks, lan as yu ebul bɔt aw fɔ wund yusɛf , wetin mek yɔŋ pikin dɛn kin du am, ɛn aw yu go ɛp dɛn fɔ stɔp. Sɔm pikin dɛn kin bigin am bikɔs dɛn kɔmpin dɛn de mɔna dɛn ɛn afta dat i nɔ kin izi fɔ lɛ dɛn stɔp am. Ɔda pipul dɛn kin strɛs wit di prɛshɔn fɔ du ɔltin pafɛkt wan ɛn i nɔ kin izi fɔ dɛn fɔ gri ivin di smɔl smɔl mistek dɛn. Ɔda wan dɛn, lɛk aw wi bin dɔn tɔk bɔt bifo tɛm, kin strɛs wit filin dɛn we at fɔ kɔntrol, lɛk fɔ vɛks, fil bad, fil se dɛn nɔ gɛt wan valyu, ɛn nɔ gɛt op. Sɔmtɛm, de kɔz fɔ dis sik na trauma wae dɛn nɔr no ɛn tin dɛm wae kin mek pɔrsin fil pen . Na nɔmal tin fɔ fil pen we yu tink se yu pikin kin gɛt dɛn kayn filin ya. Pan ɔl we i nɔ izi, mɛmba se fɔ no us prɛshɔn de mek yu pikin du bad to insɛf na impɔtant tin fɔ du fɔ mek i wɛl.

Fɔ tɔk to yu pikin rili impɔtant!

Neks, tɔk to yu pikin. Fɔ tɔk bɔt tɔpik we de mek pɔsin fil pen lɛk dis nɔ kin izi. Sɔntɛm yu nɔ go ivin no wetin yu want fɔ tɔk. Dat na okay. Aw yu se i impɔtant pas wetin yu de tɔk. We yu bigin fɔ tɔk to am, yu kin jɔs se yu no se i de kɔt ɔ du bad to insɛf ɔda we. Dɔn, mek i no se yu bisin bɔt am, yu lɛk am, ɛn yu rɛdi fɔ ɛp am fɔ stɔp. I go mɔs bi se i nɔ izi fɔ yu pikin fɔ tɔk bɔt dis bak. I kin shem, i kin fil gilti, ɔ i kin fred aw yu go biev ɛn wetin go apin to am. Yu kin ridyus dis frayd bay we yu:Bifo yu pɔnish, kɔl am, ɔ gi lɛkchɔ, tek tɛm lisin to wetin yu pikin gɛt fɔ tɔk bay we yu aks kwɛstyɔn dɛn. Nɔ jɔj, nɔ ansa wit fred, ɔ ansa wit disgres. Bifo dat, tray fɔ ansa am wit sɔri-at ɛn sɔpɔt ɛnitɛm we i pɔsibul. Ɛp yu pikin fɔ ɔndastand se bɔku tɛm fɔ du bad to insɛf kin gɛt fɔ du wit tin dɛn we kin mek i fil pen ɔ we i kin gɛt bɔku prɔblɛm dɛn. Dɔn, aks yu pikin us prɔblɛm dɛn we i de gɛt we nɔ izi fɔ am. I nɔ kin rɛdi fɔ tɔk bɔt dɛn, ɔ i nɔ kin ivin no wetin mek i de du am. Bɔt, mek am klia se yu want fɔ ɔndastand am ɛn fɛn we fɔ ɛp am. Nɔ sɔprayz if yu pikin nɔ gri wit wetin yu de tray fɔ tɔk. I kin se nɔ, vɛks, kray, ala, ɔ go insay di rum ɛn lɔk di domɔt. Yu pikin kin sɛt mɔt ɔ se, “Yu nɔ ɔndastand mi.” If sɔntin lɛk dis apin, tray fɔ de kwayɛt ɛn peshɛnt. Nɔ giv ɔp - tray fɔ tɔk bak ɔda tɛm.

I rili impɔtant fɔ go to pɔsin we sabi du in wok.

Di nɛks tin we impɔtant pas ɔl na fɔ aks fɔ ɛp frɔm pɔsin we sabi bɔt mental wɛlbɔdi biznɛs . Dɛn kin ɛp yu fɔ ɔndastand wetin mek yu pikin de du bad to insɛf. Dɛn kin ɛp yu pikin bak fɔ mɛn ol pwɛl hat ɛn fɔ gɛt nyu we fɔ bia wit di prɔblɛm dɛn we i kin gɛt na layf. Tɛrapi kin gi yɔŋ pikin dɛn di chans fɔ tɛl dɛn stori, put dɛn tranga ɛkspiriɛns na wɔd, ɛn lan aw fɔ dil wit di strɛs we de pat pan layf. Tɛrapi kin ɛp bak fɔ no ɛni ɔndalayn mɛntɛl hεlth kɔndishɔn wae nid fɔ asɛs ɛn trit. Fɔ bɔku yɔŋ pikin dɛn, fɔ du bad to dɛnsɛf kin bi sayn fɔ gɛt prɔblɛm wit dɛn maynd, lɛk fɔ gɛt pwɛl hat , fɔ fil bad , fɔ fil bad we dɛn nɔ ebul fɔ sɔlv, fɔ du tin we kin mek dɛn want fɔ du sɔntin , ɔ fɔ tray tranga wan fɔ du sɔntin we pafɛkt . I impɔtant fɔ mek yu pikin fɛn dɔktɔ we de tɔk to dɛn ɛn we go fil fayn wit dɛn. If yu nid ɛp fɔ fɛn pɔsin, yu famili dɔktɔ ɔ skul advaysa kin gi yu advays.

Kɔntinyu fɔ sɔpɔt ɛn ɛnkɔrej yu pikin.

Wae yu pikin de luk fɔ pɔrsin wae sabi du in wok, kɔntinyu fɔ put an pan di wok as yu ebul. Aks di dɔktɔ fɔ gayd yu fɔ aw fɔ tɔk to yu pikin ɛn aw fɔ sɔpɔt am. Dɔn bak, aks yu pikin aw yu go ɛp am di bɛst we. Fɔ ɛgzampul, dɛn tin ya kin ɛp:

• Mek yu pikin no se yu de de fɔ tɔk to am we i de fil pen ɛn i tan lɛk se prɔblɛm dɛn tu at fɔ bia.
• We di prɛshɔn tumɔs, ɛp yu pikin fɔ mek plan fɔ wetin i go du instead fɔ mek i fil bad.
• Tɔk bɔt di tin dɛn we kin apin to yu ɛvride, ɛn ɛnkɔrej yu pikin fɔ put di filin, nid, disapɔyntmɛnt, sakrifays, ɛn aydia insay wɔd dɛn.
• Lisin to wetin di pikin de tɔk, kɔrej am, ɛp am fɔ tink bɔt aw fɔ sɔlv prɔblɛm, ɛn de de fɔ sɔpɔt am we i gɛt prɔblɛm.
• Du sɔntin we go mek yu ɛnjɔy, we layt, ɔ jɔs spɛn tɛm togɛda fɔ tɔk. Sɔntɛm yu kin go waka, go drayv, sheb it, ɔ du sɔm smɔl smɔl wok dɛn.
• Fokus pan di gud tin dɛn. Pan ɔl we fɔ tɔk bɔt prɔblɛm dɛn kin ɛp, nɔ tink bɔt dɛn. Mek shɔ se yu put di gud tin dɛn we de na yu layf insay yu tɔk.

Mɛmba se, di lɔv we yu gɛt, di trɔst we yu gɛt, ɛn di sɔpɔt we yu de gi yu we nɔ de shek, na wetin yu pikin nid pas ɛni ɔda tin dis tɛm.

Yu fɔ bi gud ɛgzampul.

Wan ɔda impɔtant tin na dat yu na gud ɛgzampul. Di we aw yu de du tin we pɔsin de mɔna yu ɛn we i strɛs, go afɛkt yu pikin. Luk aw yu de kɔntrol yu yone filin, aw yu de dil wit ɛvride pwɛl hat, strɛs, ɛn prɛshɔn. Si if yu de blem ɔda pipul dɛn, kɔndɛm yusɛf, ɔ yu de vɛks kwik. If yu gɛt patɛns we yu nɔ want yu pikin fɔ falamakata, tink bɔt fɔ chenj dɛn.

Peshɛnt ɛn gɛt op.

Fɔ dɔn, peshɛnt ɛn gɛt op. We yu no se yu pikin de du bad to insɛf, dat kin bi di biginin fɔ lɔng waka. I kin tek tɛm fɔ stɔp – sɔmtɛm yu pikin nɔ kin want fɔ stɔp, ɔ i nɔ kin rɛdi fɔ mek di chenj dɛn we dɛn nid. Fɔ stɔp fɔ du bad to yusɛf ɔ fɔ kɔt yusɛf, yu nid fɔ gɛt maynd ɛn disayd fɔ du sɔntin. I nid bak fɔ no yusɛf , ɛn lan nyu tin dɛn fɔ kɔntrol strɛs ɛn wɔri. Dɛn tin ya kin tek tɛm, ɛn bɔku tɛm dɛn kin nid pɔsin we sabi du dɛn wok. As mama ɔ papa, yu go nid fɔ peshɛnt. Bɔt trɔst se wit di rayt gayd, lɔv ɛn sɔpɔt, yu pikin kin stɔp ɛn lan fɔ dil wit in filin dɛn di rayt we.

Sɔmari ɛn tin dɛn fɔ mɛmba

Okay, so a op se yu don geht sohm aidia from wetin wi don tok boht. Fɔ du bad to yɔŋ pikin na sayn fɔ sho se dɛn rili gɛt bɔku strɛs. Na sɔm impɔtant tin dɛn we yu fɔ mɛmba:

• Dis nɔto di pikin in fɔlt ɛn nɔto yu fɔlt. Nɔ tek di blem.
• Yu fɔ tink bak bɔt aw yu de fil. Na we yu de kol yu pikin nɔmɔ yu go ebul fɔ ɛp yu pikin.
• Tɔk to yu pikin. Yu nɔ fɔ kɔs ɔ pɔnish, lisin wit ɔndastandin ɛn lɔv.
• Mek shɔ se yu aks pɔsin we sabi du di wok fɔ ɛp yu. Wan kwalifay thɛrapist kin rili ɛp fɔ mɛn dis sik.
• Kɔntinyu fɔ gi yu pikin lɔv, sɔpɔt am, ɛn ɛnkɔrej am. Mek i no se yu de wit am.
• Na fɔ peshɛnt. I kin tek tɛm fɔ mek i wɛl. Bɔt nɔ giv ɔp fɔ gɛt op.

Nɔto yu pikin in wan de. Nɔto yu wan de. If yu gɛt di rayt sɔpɔt, yu kin ebul fɔ pas dis tin.

---

` Self-harm, Self-Harm, Yɔŋ Pikin, Mental Ɛlth, Mama ɛn Papa Sɔpɔt, Kɔnsul, Tɛrapi