Tharindu (we ol 23 ia) we kam na di klinik da de de bin rili shem ɛn i bin gɛt smɔl smayl na in fes. I shek in ed, shem smɔl, ɛn aks mi wan pɔsin in yon kwɛstyɔn.
"Dɔkta Priya, a gɛt smɔl prɔblɛm wit mi maynd. Wan titi we kɔmɔt na wi yunivasiti tɛl mi yestede se i lɛk mi. A nɔ bin dɔn tink bɔku bɔt am bifo. Bɔt frɔm di tɛm we a kam fɔ no se i lɛk mi, a dɔn de tink bɔt am ɔltɛm, ɛn a fil lɛk se a dɔn bigin fɔ gɛt smɔl intres pan am. Sɔntin de rɔng wit mi bren, dɔktɔ, ɔ dis na sɔntin we saykolojik?" Tharindu bin aks am wit rili want fɔ no mɔ.
A smayl ɛn tɛl Tharindu se, "Tharindu, nɔ wɔri. Natin nɔ bad wit yu bren. Dis na saykolojik kɔnsɛpt we bɔku pipul dɛn sabi we kɔmɔn to pipul dɛn ɔlsay na di wɔl. Wi kɔl dis di Reciprocal Liking Effect . So tide, lɛ wi tɔk bɔt aw we wi no se pɔsin lɛk wi, wi kin drɔ to da pɔsin de we wi nɔ no."
Wetin na di Risiprokal Liking Effect?
Reciprocal preference theory se we wi lan se sɔmbɔdi intres pan wi, wi kin fil lɛk se wi lɛk da pɔsin de ɛn intres pan am.
Akɔdin to sɔshal sayɛns, dɛn no dis as wan pan di tin dɛn we pɔsin kin abop pan ɛn we gɛt pawa pas ɔl we kin afɛkt di we aw mɔtalman bigin fɔ gɛt rilayshɔnship.
Aw wi bren kin du dis? (Di Nyurobayoloji fɔ Atrakshɔn)
We wi no se sɔmbɔdi de sho wi lɔv ɔ du gud to wi, sɔm kemikal chenj dɛn kin apin na wi bren:
1. Dopamine (di gladi gladi ɔmon): We pɔsin tɛl wi se i lɛk wi, i de mek wi rili satisfay ɛn i gɛt valyu. Di bren kin tek dis as blɛsin ɛn i kin pul di ɔmon we dɛn kɔl dopamine.
2. Oxytocin (bonding hormone): Dis homon de ɛp fɔ mek pɔsin fil sef ɛn atak ɔda pipul dɛn.
3. Mirror Neurons: Dɛn spɛshal nerve cells ya na di bren de wok fɔ kɔpi na wi maynd di filin fɔ lɛk ɛn du gud we ɔda pipul dɛn de sho wi.
Disɔnans we pɔsin kin gɛt
We pɔsin tɛl wi se i lɛk wi, wi sabkɔshɔs kin aks kwɛstyɔn ɔtomɛtik wan: "Wetin mek i lɛk mi?"
Wi bren kin want fɔ luk fɔ ansa to dis, ɛn dis kin mek wi nɔ no se wi kin bigin fɔ pe atɛnshɔn mɔ to di gud kwaliti dɛn we da pɔsin de gɛt, lɛk fɔ du gud, fɔ smayl fayn, ɛn fɔ mek laf. Dis kin mek wi at kin lɛk dɛn bak.
Di Pozitiv Fidbak Lup
Lɔv ɛn atrakshɔn na ɛnaji dɛn we de flɔ na ɔl tu di say dɛn:
- Di oda pesin sho yu lov → yu fil yu worth → yu laik dem → yu trit dem mo klos → dem lov grow mo.
dis saykl we de kכntinyu de alaw di bon bitwin di tu fכ gro strכng insay sכt tεm.
🚨 Rɛd Flag fɔ Wach Ɔut fɔ insay Rilayshɔnship
Pan ɔl we wi kin fil lɛk se wi lɛk pɔsin bikɔs wi ɔl tu lɛk wisɛf, wi fɔ no dɛn sayn ya we de sho se wi denja bifo wi go insay nyu padi biznɛs:
- Lɔv Bɔm: Fɔ gi gift pasmak, kɔmplimɛnt, ɛn tray fɔ kam nia yu tumɔs we yu bigin rileshɔnship (dis kin bi taktik fɔ kɔntrol yu leta - manipuleshɔn).
- Imotional Manipulation: If sɔmbɔdi tray fɔ gɛt wetin i nid bay we i de manipul yu filin ɛn i de mek lɛk se i lɛk yu.
- Nɔ fɔ gladi fɔ di bɔda dɛn: If dɛn de fos yu fɔ du ɛnitin we dɛn want ɛn nɔ rɛspɛkt yu yon fridɔm, yu opinion, ɛn bɔda.
Di tin dɛn we yu fɔ du & wetin yu nɔ fɔ du
| ✔️ Tin dɛn fɔ du (Du) | ❌ Nɔ fɔ du am |
|---|---|
| Nɔ disayd jɔs bikɔs pɔsin lɛk yu, bɔt tek tɛm luk fɔ dɛn tru tru kwaliti dɛn ɛn aw dɛn go gri wit wetin dɛn de tɔk. | Nɔ fos rileshɔnship fɔ pul yu wan ɔ bikɔs yu fil gilti fɔ ɔda pɔsin we lɛk yu. |
| Mek una tu de tɔk to una we una de du una padi biznɛs wit unasɛf opin wan ɛn ɔnɛs wan. | If yu man ɔ yu wɛf de tray fɔ kɔntrol yu, nɔ ignore am. |
| Una kɔntinyu fɔ rɛspɛkt una tu bay we una gladi fɔ di fayn kwaliti dɛn we una patna gɛt. | Nɔ put ɔl di tin dɛn we de apin na do ɔ di tin we de mek yu want fɔ du sɔntin fɔs ɛn nɔ pe atɛnshɔn to tru tru mental kɔmpitibliti. |
❓ Sɔm ɔda kwɛstyɔn dɛn we yu kin gɛt (FAQ)
Yu tink se Reciprocal Liking de wok ɔltɛm? ▼ we dɛn kɔl
Nɔ, fɔ mek wi gɛt wanwɔd, wi fɔ gɛt sɔm kayn fayn abit to di pɔsin we wi de tɔk bɔt. We pɔsin we wi nɔ lɛk ɔ we de mek wi nɔ fil fayn se i lɛk am, we wi de tɔk to dɛnsɛf kin mek wi nɔ gri wit am ɔ i kin mek wi nɔ gri wit am insted.
Aw fɔ no difrɛns bitwin tru tru lɔv ɛn atrakshɔn fɔ shɔt tɛm? ▼ we dɛn kɔl
di atrakshכn fכ sכm tεm kin bi כnli bay we i de luk na do כ di כmon εksaytεshכn we i de fכm kwik kwik wan, we kin fεd kwik kwik wan wit tεm. Tru tru lɔv de bay we dɛn de rɛspɛkt dɛnsɛf, ɔndastand dɛnsɛf, abop pan dɛnsɛf, ɛn we dɛn de mekɔp dɛn maynd fɔ sɔpɔt dɛnsɛf pan ɛni tranga tɛm.
Wetin na sɔm we dɛn fɔ ɛp yusɛf fɔ mek yu gɛt wɛlbɔdi padi biznɛs? ▼ we dɛn kɔl
Fɔ rid buk dɛm fɔ ɛp yusɛf, fɔ divɛlɔp yu sɛlf-ɛstimɛnt, fɔ lan fɔ tɔk klia wan bɔt yu bɔda ɛn aydia dɛm, ɛn fɔ praktis fɔ kɔntrol yu vɛks ɛn tɔk wit kol at we yu gɛt prɔblɛm wit yu rilayshɔnship, ɔl na impɔtant we fɔ ɛp yusɛf.
Tritmɛnt dɛn de fɔ pul di strɛs we pɔsin kin gɛt we i gɛt prɔblɛm wit in padi biznɛs? ▼ we dɛn kɔl
Yɛs. Dɛn kin yuz Kɔgnitiv Biɛvhɔral Tɛrapi (CBT) ɛn if nid de, dɛn kin yuz sɔm mɛrɛsin fɔ shɔt tɛm fɔ mɛn di strɛs ɛn wɔri we pɔsin kin gɛt na rilayshɔnship.
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