Lɛ wi tɔk bɔt assertiveness, aw fɔ tɔk wetin de na yu maynd we yu nɔ go du ɛnibɔdi bad!

Wi ɔl gɛt tɛm na wi layf we wi nid fɔ tɛl ɔda pipul dɛn di rayt tin we wi de tink ɛn wetin wi want, klia wan. Bɔt sɔntɛnde, i kin fil lɛk se i nɔ izi fɔ du dat, ɛn wi kin fred smɔl ɛn fred insay wi at. Dɛn kayn tɛm dɛn de, dis na tin we rili impɔtant we kin ɛp wi. Fɔ tɔk am simpul wan, na fɔ tɔk wetin wi tink wit kɔnfidɛns pan wisɛf, bɔt bak wit rɛspɛkt fɔ ɔda pipul dɛn.

Wetin rili na Assertiveness?

Tink bɔt dis we: Fɔ tɔk tru na fayn we fɔ tɔk to pipul dɛn. I min fɔ ebul fɔ tɔk wetin yu de tink, aw yu de fil, wetin yu nid , ɛn wetin yu tink ɔnɛs ɛn rɛspɛkt . Wi kin gɛt bɔku tin dɛn ɛvride, ɛn dis kayn we aw wi kin tɔk tranga wan kin ɛp wi bɔku. Fɔ ɛgzampul:

• Aks pɔsin we yu lɛk fɔ go de wit am.
• Fɔ aks kwɛstyɔn to skul ticha ɔ lɛkchɔra.
• Fɔ tɔk fayn we yu de go fɔ intavyu fɔ wok.
• Go na wan stɔ ɛn aks fɔ di rayt tin we yu want.

Dis `(Assertiveness)` nɔto sɔntin we kin kam naturally to ɔlman. Sɔm pipul dɛn kin rili kwayɛt, dɛn kin fred fɔ tɔk dɛn maynd, ɛn se "yes" to ɔltin. Wi de kɔl am `(Passive)` stayl. Ɔda wan dɛn de, di we aw dɛn de tɔk na harsh smɔl, lɛk se dɛn nɔ bisin bɔt ɔda pipul dɛn. Na dat dɛn kɔl `(Agressive)` stayl. `(Assertiveness)` na di pafɛkt balans bitwin dɛn tu ya. I tan lɛk di golden midul grɔn. So, wetin i min fɔ biev `(Assertive)`?

• Yu kin tɔk klia wan bɔt wetin yu tink ɛn wetin yu de fil.
• Yu kin aks fɔ wetin yu want, wetin yu nid.
• If pɔsin nɔ gri wit yu, yu kin gɛt rɛspɛkt fɔ nɔ gri wit am.
• Yu kin sɛn yu aydia ɛn advays dɛn.
• Yu kin se "A nɔ ebul fɔ du dis" ɔ "A nɔ lɛk dis" we yu nɔ fil gilti.
• Yu kin tɔk bak fɔ ɔda pɔsin, fɔ dɛn rayt.

Wetin mek i impɔtant fɔ mek pɔsin tɔk tranga wan?

Naw yu go de tink se, yu tink se dis rili na big tin? Yɛs, Assertiveness nɔ jɔs de ɛp wi fɔ gɛt wetin wi want, bɔt i de go fa bak. We wi de tɔk Assertive we, i de sho se wi rɛspɛkt wisɛf ɛn ɔda pipul dɛn . Pipul we de tok na Assertive we de sen di mesej to di wold se dem biliv pan dem sef. Dɛn nɔ de shem tumɔs, ɛn dɛn nɔ de tray fɔ push ɔda pipul dɛn dɔŋ. Dɛn no se di we aw dɛn de fil ɛn di we aw dɛn de tink valyu . Dɛn gɛt gud kɔnfidɛns pan dɛnsɛf. Pipul dɛn we de du tin wit Assertive we kin izi fɔ mek padi bikɔs dɛn kin tɔk di kayn we we de rɛspɛkt ɔda pipul dɛn ɛn dɛn yon nid. Bɔku tɛm, dɛn kin sabi fɔ sɔlv prɔblɛm ɛn tin dɛn we dɛn nɔ gri pan we dɛn kam. Jɔs tink bɔt dat, we wi rɛspɛkt ɔda pipul dɛn, wi kin gɛt da rɛspɛkt de bak.Na dat na di trut.

Usay yu de? Yu tink se i rili kwayɛt? Yu tink se i tu lawd? Ɔ jɔs rayt?

Naw lɛ wi si usay yu tinap pan dis skel we dɛn kɔl ``Assertiveness.'' Na sɔm ɛgzampul dɛn ya:

Pawani in stori: Na smɔl tu kwayɛt... (Tu Pasiv)

If yu aks Pawani, "Us fim yu go laik fo si?" i go mɔs se, "O, a nɔ no, lɛ wi si di wan we yu lɛk." Bɔku tɛm, i kin mek ɔda pipul dɛn disayd fɔ du di tin dɛn, dɔn leta i kin rigrɛt se, “A wish se a bin dɔn tɔk dat.” I kin fil bad we na in padi dɛn nɔmɔ de tɔk. Bɔt ivin we Pawani tray fɔ jɔyn am, i kin tɔk sloslo so dat ɔda pipul dɛn kin tɔk bɔt am we i nɔ no.

Janani in stori: I de saund smɔl harsh, nɔto so? (Tu Agresiv)

Janani nɔ de fred fɔ tɔk wetin i tink. Bɔt we i du dat, i kin du am lawd wan, di we we na in yon opinion nɔmɔ rayt. We pɔsin de tɔk, i kin tek bɔku pan am, bɔku tɛm i kin ambɔg ɔda pipul dɛn, ɛn i nɔ kin lisin to wetin ɔda pipul dɛn gɛt fɔ tɔk. If yu nɔ gri wit am, i kin tɛl yu wit sɔri ɔ i kin put yu dɔŋ. Bɔku pipul dɛn se Janani na rili ``bɔs`` (ɔda ɔda pipul dɛn), ɛn nɔ de tink bɔt ɔda pipul dɛn filin.

Benura in stori: Dis na di rayt we! (Jɔs Rayt - Assertiv)

If yu aks Benura fɔ yu opinion, i go tɛl yu ɔnɛs wan. If i nɔ gri wit yu, i go tɔk am we i nɔ put yu dɔŋ, i nɔ go mek yu fil lɛk se yu nɔ rayt. Benura intres bak fɔ no wetin yu tink, ɛn i kin tek tɛm lisin to wetin yu gɛt fɔ tɔk. Ivin if Benura nɔ gri wit yu, yu kin fil se i rɛspɛkt yu opinion.

Prɔblɛm dɛn we kin apin if yu tu pasiv

Okay, so mek wi tink abaut pipul we de ``Passive`` laik Pawani. Dɛn kin fil ɔltɛm se ɔda pipul dɛn de yuz dɛn, ɛn dɛn de wok fɔ dɛn yon bɛnifit. Dɔn dɛn kin fil bad, vɛks, ɛn vɛks . We yu ayd wetin yu de tink ɛn fil, ɔda pipul dɛn nɔ kin gɛt di chans fɔ no ɛn ɔndastand yu fayn fayn wan. Di gud tin dɛn we yu de tink bɔt nɔ de bɛnifit di tim, di wokples, ɛn di famili lɛk aw i fɔ bɛnifit.

If yu bigin tink se, "Mi aidia nɔ impɔtant, mi filin nɔ impɔtant to ɛnibɔdi," i kin mek yu nɔ gɛt kɔnfidɛns pan yusɛf smɔl smɔl. Sɔntɛm yu nɔ go gɛt di rɛkɔgnishɔn ɛn ɛnkɔrejmɛnt we yu fɔ gɛt. If dis kayn tin kɔntinyu, yu kin ivin gɛt wan kayn maynd lɛk pwɛl hat .

Prɔblɛm dɛn we kin kam if yu de fɛt tumɔs

Naw lɛ wi si wetin de apin to pipul dɛn we de biev na `(Agressive)` stayl lɛk Janani. Sɔntɛm i nɔ kin izi fɔ dɛn fɔ kip padi ɛn kɔntinyu fɔ gɛt gud padi biznɛs. Dɛn kin tray fɔ ful ɔda pipul dɛn we dɛn de tɔk to dɛn, tɔk wetin dɛn tink tranga wan ɛn wantɛm wantɛm, ɛn ɔda pipul dɛn kin fil se dɛn nɔ rɛspɛkt dɛn ɔ dɛn nɔ gladi fɔ dɛn. Pipul we gɛt `(Agressive)` stayl kin ebul fɔ gɛt wetin dɛn want frɔm ɔda pipul dɛn. Bɔt bɔku tɛm, ɔda pipul dɛn nɔ lɛk dɛn ɛn nɔ lɛk dɛn. Afta sɔm tɛm, ɔda pipul dɛn nɔ de rɛspɛkt dɛn igen.

Wetin mek ɔlman nɔ de praktis assertiveness di rayt we? Wetin na di rizin?

Akchuali, wetin mek sɔm pipul dɛn de `(Assertive)` lɛk Benura, we ɔda wan dɛn de bi `(Passive)` lɛk Pawani ɔ `(Aggressive)` lɛk Janani? Wan rizin fɔ dis na di kayn pɔsin we wi bi. I kin afɛkt bak di abit dɛn we wi dɔn gɛt as tɛm de go ɛn di ɛkspiriɛns dɛn we wi dɔn gɛt. Na di sem tɛm, wi kin lan fɔ biev insay `(Assertive)`, `(Passive)`, ɔ `(Aggressive)` we wi de wach aw ɔda pipul dɛn de biev, mɔ di we aw di wan dɛn we mɛn wi frɔm we wi smɔl (mama ɛn papa, di wan dɛn we de kia fɔ wi) de biev.

Rizin dɛn we mek wi nɔ de du natin:

• Nɔ gɛt kɔnfidɛns pan yusɛf ɛn di valyu we yu yon ayd dɛn gɛt.
• Fɔ tink tumɔs bɔt fɔ mek ɔda pipul dɛn gladi ɛn fɔ mek dɛn lɛk yu.
• Fɔ fred pasmak fɔ lɛ dɛn nɔ gri wit am ɔ ɔda pipul dɛn nɔ gri wit wetin i tink.
• Fɔ bi rili sɛnsitiv to kritik, ɔr bin dɔn fil bad fɔ di ɛkspiriɛns dɛm wae bin dɔn de bifo wae dɛn nɔr de tek dɛn opinion ɔr nɔr gri wit dɛn.
• Nɔr dɔn divɛlɔp di skil dɛm we dɛn nid fɔ biev insay ``assertive'' we.

Rizin dɛn fɔ mek wi de fɛt:

• Fɔ gɛt kɔnfidɛns pasmak min fɔ tink se na yu wangren de du wetin rayt.
• Fɔ wok jɔs fɔ sho wetin pɔsin nid ɛn wetin i tink, ɛn nɔ tink bɔt ɔda pipul dɛn.
• Nɔ lan fɔ rɛspɛkt ɛn tink bɔt wetin ɔda pipul dɛn de tink, aw dɛn de fil, ɛn wetin dɛn nid.
• Nɔ gɛt skil fɔ lisin, nɔ lan fɔ aks ɔda pipul dɛn fɔ wetin dɛn tink.

Tin dɛn we de ɛp yu fɔ biev lɛk se yu de biev:

• Fɔ gɛt gud kɔnfidɛns pan yusɛf .
• Fɔ biliv wit ɔl in at se di tin dɛn we pɔsin de tink valyu, di we aw i de fil impɔtant, ɛn i gɛt rayt fɔ tɔk bɔt am.
• Fɔ gɛt di maynd trɛnk ɛn fɔ bia fɔ bia wit kɔmɛnt, rijek, ɛn setbacks we dɛn kam.
• Fɔ rɛspɛkt wetin ɔda pipul dɛn want ɛn wetin dɛn nid.
• Fɔ tek di wan dɛn we de biev di we aw pɔsin kin biev as ɛgzampul .
• Fɔ gɛt fayn ɛkspiriɛns, lɛk fɔ gɛt gud ansa we dɛn gri wit yu aydia ɛn fɔ biev lɛk se yu de tɔk.

Aw wi go bi pɔsin we de tɔk tranga wan? Tin dɛn we wi kin praktis

Di gud nyus na dat, fɔ tɔk tru na sɔntin we wi kin praktis ɛn divɛlɔp. I jɔs tek sɔm prɛktis fɔ kɔmyunikeshɔn skil ɛn fɔ gɛt gud abit. Sɔm pipul dɛn kin gɛt am mɔ na dɛn yon we. Ɔda pipul dɛn kin nid fɔ praktis smɔl mɔ. Bɔt ɛnibɔdi kin ebul fɔ divɛlɔp am . Na sɔm tin dɛn we yu kin du fɔ ɛp:

1. Fɔs, no di we aw yu de tɔk to pipul dɛn.

Ɔnɛs wan tink if yu na mɔ ``Assertive'', ``Passive'', ɔ ``Agressive''. Dɔn, disayd if yu want fɔ ridyus yu pasiv ɔ agresiv, ɔ impɔtant yu ``Assertiveness'' we de naw.

2. Tray dɛn tin ya fɔ ridyus yu pasiv ɛn bi mɔ asɛftiv:

• Tek tɛm bɔt wetin yu de tink, wetin yu de fil, wetin yu want, wetin yu lɛk. Bifo yu tɛl ɔda pipul dɛn dɛn tin ya, yusɛf nid fɔ no bɔt dɛn tin ya.
• We pɔsin aks yu wetin yu want, notis if yu tɔk tin dɛn lɛk, “O, a nɔ no,” “A nɔ bisin,” ɔ “Dat fayn.” Brek da abit de. Gɛt di abit fɔ tɔk wetin yu want, ivin fɔ smɔl tin dɛn. Fɔ ɛgzampul, if pɔsin aks se, "Yu want di grɛn wan ɔ di rɛd wan?" yu kin se, "A go laik di grin wan - tehnki plenti."
• Praktis fɔ aks fɔ tin dɛn. Fɔ ɛgzampul: "A kin duya pas yu da spun de?" "A nid pen - enibodi get ekstra wan?" "Yu fit hol sit fo mi ova de?" We yu de praktis fɔ aks fɔ smɔl tin lɛk dis, yu go bil di skil ɛn kɔnfidɛns we yu nid fɔ aks fɔ sɔntin we big ɛn impɔtant.
• Sheb yu opinion. Tɛl wi if yu lɛk ɔ yu nɔ lɛk fim we yu si, ɛn wetin mek yu tink so.
• Praktis fɔ yuz " Mi" stetmɛnt lɛk "A lɛk..." "A lɛk..." "A fil... " Dis go ɛp yu fɔ sho aw yu de fil ɛn aw yu de tink insay yu yon we.
• Tek wan rol model we de asɛf - pɔsin we nɔ kwayɛt ɔ rud. Tray fɔ falamakata da pɔsin de in gud kwaliti dɛn.
• Mɛmba yusɛf ɔltɛm se di tin dɛn we yu de tink ɛn tink bɔt impɔtant jɔs lɛk ɛni ɔda pɔsin . We yu no dis, na fayn we fɔ mek yu nɔ tɔk natin. Assertiveness kin stat wit wan maynd we valyu ɛn rɛspɛkt yusɛf lɛk ɛni ɔda pɔsin.

3. Dis na sɔm advays dɛn fɔ ridyus di agreshɔn ɛn fɔ bi pɔsin we de tɔk tranga wan:

• Mek ɔda pipul dɛn tɔk fɔs.
• Tek tɛm mek yu nɔ ambɔg ɔda pipul dɛn. If yu du dat, kech am ɛn se, "O, ɛkskyuz mi - yu dɔn yu yon fɔs!" ɛn lɛ di ɔda pɔsin dɔn in pɔynt.
• Aks ɔda pɔsin fɔ wetin i tink ɛn tek tɛm lisin.
• We yu nɔ gri wit sɔntin, tray fɔ tɔk wetin yu tink wit rɛspɛkt, ɛn nɔ put di ɔda pɔsin in opinion dɔŋ. Fɔ ɛgzampul, instead fɔ se, "Dat na rili stupid aidia," tɔk sɔntin lɛk, "A nɔ rili gri wit da aidia de." Ɔ, instead fɔ se, "Dat pɔsin na rili bad pɔsin," tɔk sɔntin lɛk, "A tink se i nɔ de tink smɔl bɔt aw ɔda pipul dɛn de fil."
• As wi bin dɔn tɔk bifo tɛm, falamakata pɔsin we de biev fayn we i de tɔk klia wan.

4. Di wan dɛn we natin nɔ de du natin fɔ du sɔntin nid fɔ divɛlɔp dɛn abiliti dɛn mɔ:

• Fɛn gud `(Assertive)` rol mɔdel dɛn. Fɔ falamakata dɛn gud kwaliti dɛn. (Yu kin si, wi bin gi dis advays to ɔda pipul dɛn bak. Di rizin na, wi kin lan nyu tin dɛn ɛvride na layf!)
• Tink bɔt di tin dɛn we yu kin tɔk bɔt mɔ. Fɔ bɔku pipul dɛm, i izi fɔ bi asɛftiv pan sɔm tin dɛm (e.g. wit padi dɛm), bɔt na ɔda situeshɔn dɛm (e.g. wit ticha, nyu pipul dɛm) i kin bi chalenj. Insay dɛn tranga tin dɛn de, tink se: “Aw a go se dis to mi bɛst padi dɛn?” Dis go mek tin izi fɔ yu.

Di tin we impɔtant pas ɔl we wi fɔ mɛmba na

Fɔ dɔn, na dis yu gɛt fɔ tɔk. We yu bi ``Assertive'', dat na, wen yu tok wetin de fo yu maind onest, klia, bot rispek, i de sho hau yu biliv yu sef.

Yu gɛt rayt fɔ tɛl di wɔl wetin yu de tink ɛn aw yu de fil. Yu gɛt di wok bak fɔ rɛspɛkt di we aw ɔda pipul dɛn de tink. Assertiveness na pafɛkt kɔmbaynshɔn fɔ ɔl tu.

Fɔ divɛlɔp dis skil we dɛn kɔl ``Assertiveness'' na wan rili impɔtant step fɔ bi di pɔsin we yu want fɔ bi, yu ``best self''! So, bigin fɔ praktis dɛn tin ya smɔl smɔl. Yu kin du am!

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Fɔ tɔk tru, fɔ tɔk to pipul dɛn, fɔ gɛt kɔnfidɛns pan yusɛf, fɔ tɔk wetin yu tink, fɔ gɛt rilayshɔnship, fɔ gɛt maynd wɛlbɔdi, fɔ biev