Roshan (we ol 35 ia) ɛn in wɛf Dinusha (we ol 32 ia) bin kam na mi klinik fɔ mek dɛn chɛk mi ɔltɛm las Tɔsde. Dɛn ɔl tu bin de na say we dɛn nɔ tɔk natin. A bin ebul fɔ no se klia kol wɔ de apin bitwin dɛn.
We a aks dɛn bɔt dɛn famili layf, Roshan se: "Dɔkta Priya, afta wi bɔn wi sɛkɔn pikin, wi mared layf dɔn bi jɔs wan mɛkanikal list. Bikɔs ɔf mɔni prɔblɛm ɛn pikin dɛn wok, wi nɔ gɛt tɛm fɔ sho se wi lɛk wisɛf. Wi de fɛt ɔltɛm." Dinusha gri, i se, "A nɔ de gɛt ɛni sɔpɔt frɔm Roshan, Dɔkta, i de ɔltɛm fɛn fɔlt pan mi."
A mek dɛn kol ɛn ɛksplen se: "Roshan ɛn Dinusha, bɔku pipul dɛn tink se mared fɔ bi saksesful pan ɔto-paylɔt. Bɔt fɔ mek mared we rili gɛt sakrifays na sɔntin we nid fɔ kɔntinyu fɔ kɔmit ɛn tɔk to dɛnsɛf. 3 men pila dɛn de na mared: Lɔv , Rɛspɛkt , ɛn Rispɔnsibiliti . Tide, lɛ wi tɔk bɔt wetin na di kɔmɔn prɔblɛm dɛn we kin apin na mared layf ɛn aw fɔ sakrifays." manej dɛn saykilɔjik wan."
🚨 Rɛd Flag dɛn we nid fɔ gɛt pɔshɔnal/saykolojik sɔpɔt wantɛm wantɛm
Na nɔmal tin fɔ lɛ wi nɔ gri wit wetin dɛn de tɔk na mared layf. Bɔt if dɛn tin ya apin, yu fɔ go to pɔsin we de advays yu bɔt mared ɔ dɔktɔ we de mɛn yu maynd wantɛm wantɛm:
- Di prɛzɛns fɔ ɛni kayn bɔdi, wɔd ɔ saykilɔjik abiuz (Domestic Abuse / Violence).
- Di tray we wan patna de tray fɔ kɔntrol di ɔda wan in mɔni ɔ in yon fridɔm ɔltogɛda (Coercive Control).
- Patna wae de sɔfa wit pwɛl hat sik wae de kɔntinyu ɔr de tink bɔt fɔ kil insɛf bikɔs ɔf in famili prɔblɛm.
- Stonewalling na we wan pati de avɔyd fɔ tɔk to dɛnsɛf ɔltogɛda we dɛn de tray fɔ tɔk bɔt sɔntin.
Di kɔmɔn rizin dɛn we kin mek dɛn mared-os brok
- Fɔ tink bɔt yusɛf nɔmɔ: Fɔ tink bɔt wetin yu nid nɔmɔ ɛn nɔ pe atɛnshɔn to di we aw yu patna de fil.
- Poor Communication: Nɔ de tɔk opin wan wit dɛnsɛf ɛn kip prɔblɛm dɛn insay bɔtul insay ɛn afta dat dɛn de bɔm.
- Faynanshɛl Strɛs: We dɛn nɔ plan fayn fɔ di famili spɛns ɛn di mɔni we dɛn go gɛt.
- Adikshɔn to rɔm ɔ gambling: Na tin we kin pwɛl di famili in mɔni kpatakpata ɛn bak in maynd kolat.
- I nɔ machɔ: Fɔ biev lɛk pikin, nɔ ɔndastand di wok ɛn prɔblɛm dɛn we kin kam wit mared.
- Fɔ fɛn fɔlt: Na fɔ kɔndɛm yu patna in mistek dɛn nɔmɔ ɔltɛm ɛn nɔ gladi fɔ di gud tin dɛn we dɛn de du.
Di gud tin dɛn we yu fɔ du fɔ mek yu mared go bifo
Positiv gaydlain wae yu kin fala pan saikolojikal for mek mared go bifo na dis:
1. 1. 1. .No Yusɛf: Di mɔ yu ɔndastand aw yu de fil ɛn di tin dɛn we yu nɔ ebul fɔ du, na di mɔ yu go ɔndastand aw yu patna de fil.
2. Mek yu gɛt kɔmɔn gol ɛn tin dɛn we yu lɛk fɔ du: Sɛt tɛm at le wan tɛm insay di wik fɔ du tin dɛn we una ɔl tu kin du togɛda (e.g., fɔ waka togɛda, kɔmɔn tin dɛn we una lɛk fɔ du).
3. Fɔ sho se yu lɛk am ivin afta yu mared: Nɔ mek di lɔv we yu gɛt fɔ dɔn afta yu mared. Gi smɔl gift dɛn, sho se yu lɛk dɛn, ɛn go de wit nɛt togɛda.
4. Fɔgiv: Bifo yu de kam wit mistek ɛn fɛt ɔltɛm, tray fɔ fɔgiv yu wit ɔl yu at ɛn mek am chenj.
Fɔ kɔmpia di fayn we aw pipul dɛn kin tɔk to dɛnsɛf na mared
| Kɔmyunikeshɔn nɔ wok fayn (rɔn go) . | Pozitiv kɔmyunikeshɔn (yuz to am) . |
|---|---|
| Blaming: "Na yu bi di rizin fɔ ɔl dɛn prɔblɛm ya!" | Fɔ sho aw yu de fil: "A rili de wɔri bɔt dis prɔblɛm. Aw wi go sɔlv dis?" |
| Saylent Tritmɛnt: Nɔ tɔk fɔ sɔm dez. | Rikwest fo taim: "A no kol fo tok rait nau, wi fit tok abaut dis tumoro moning?" |
| Fɔ mɛmba di tin dɛn we bin dɔn apin trade: Fɔ briŋ ɔl di ol mistek dɛn we yu bin de fɛt. | Fɔ jɔs de pan di prɔblɛm we yu gɛt naw: Fɔ pe atɛnshɔn pan di prɔblɛm we yu gɛt naw ɛn fɔ fɛn sɔlv. |
| Nɔ lisin: Fɔ luk di fon ɔ fɔ ambɔg di pɔsin we yu de tɔk to am. | Aktiv Lisin: Fɔ pe atɛnshɔn gud gud wan to wetin yu patna de tɔk ɛn tray fɔ ɔndastand di prɔblɛm frɔm di we aw dɛn de si am. |
Di tin dɛn we yu fɔ du & wetin yu nɔ fɔ du
| ✔️ Tin dɛn fɔ du (Du) | ❌ Nɔ fɔ du am |
|---|---|
| Gi yu patna di rɛspɛkt ɛn kia we yu de ɛkspɛkt frɔm dɛn fɔs. | Nɔ tɔk bad to yu patna ɔ kɔrɛkt yu bifo ɔda pipul dɛn. |
| Go to dɔktɔ fɔ advays yu bɔt aw fɔ plan yu famili fayn fayn wan bifo yu bigin famili. | Nɔ fɔgɛt ɔl di lɔv we de na una mared afta una bɔn pikin. |
| Una put spɛshal kwayɛt tɛm wan tɛm insay di wik fɔ tɔk fri wan, jɔs una tu. | Nɔ jɔs de op se yu patna go chenj ɛn du ɔl wetin yu nid. |
❓ Sɔm ɔda kwɛstyɔn dɛn we yu kin gɛt (FAQ)
Wetin mek i impɔtant fɔ gi advays to pɔsin we sabi du in wok fɔ prɔblɛm dɛn we gɛt fɔ du wit mared? ▼ we dɛn kɔl
We dɛn de gi advays bɔt mared, dɛn ɔl tu kin gɛt di chans fɔ tɔk bɔt dɛn prɔblɛm dɛn we ɔda pɔsin we nɔ de tek wan pɔsin bɛtɛ pas ɔda pɔsin (kɔnsul), ɛn dɛn kin tich dɛn fayn fayn we dɛn fɔ sɔlv prɔblɛm dɛn ɛn fɔ tɔk fayn to dɛnsɛf.
Aw pwɛl hat kin afɛkt mared? ▼ we dɛn kɔl
Wae pɔrsin in patna gɛt pwɛl hat, i kin pul insɛf pan in famili wok, i kin vɛks ɔ nɔr kin bisin bɔt ɔda pipul dɛn. Dis nɔto di patna in fɔlt bɔt na mɛdikal kɔndishɔn we yu nid fɔ tink bɔt ɛn trit, so yu fɔ go to jenɛral prɛktishɔn (GP) ɔ saykayatrist.
Yu tink se fɔ lɛk pɔsin in bɔdi nɔmɔ go du fɔ mek dɛn gɛt tru tru padi biznɛs na mared? ▼ we dɛn kɔl
Nɔ, pan ɔl we i impɔtant fɔ mek pɔsin want fɔ du mami ɛn dadi biznɛs wit ɔda pɔsin ɛn fɔ du mami ɛn dadi biznɛs di we aw Gɔd nɔ want, wetin fɔ mek mared fɔ lɔng tɛm ɛn we go bifo na fɔ gɛt tayt padi biznɛs wit dɛnsɛf, lɛk fɔ rɛspɛkt dɛnsɛf, fɔ lisin to wetin dɛn kɔmpin dɛn de tink, ɛn fɔ tinap togɛda fɔ di prɔblɛm dɛn we kin apin na layf.
Aw fɔ kɔntrol fɔ fɛn fɔlt na prɔsis? ▼ we dɛn kɔl
Yu kin kɔntrol di abit fɔ fɛn fɔlt bay we yu put kwayɛt tɛm wan tɛm insay di wik, rayt di abit dɛn we una go want fɔ chenj pan unasɛf ɛn di ɛp we una go ɛkspɛkt frɔm di ɔda pɔsin, ɛn tɔk bɔt dɛn witout wamat.
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