I attachment style te chu engte nge ni? Hemi chungchang hi han sawi ila!

Mite nena kan inlaichinna , inṭhianṭhatna emaw, inngaihzawnna emaw pawh ni se, a pawimawh hle a ni lawm ni? A chang chuan, "Aw, engvangin nge he mi hi ka lo inngaizawng em em?" A nih loh leh "Aw, chu mi chu biak pawh ka duh lo!" I hria em, heng thilte chhan hi kan ngaihtuah aiin a thuk zawk a ni mai thei a, naupan lai atang pawhin a intan thei bawk. Chu chu `(Attachment Styles)` emaw attachment style kan tih chu a ni.

Chuti a nih chuan, heng attachment style te hi engte nge ni?

A awlsam zawngin, hei hian kan enkawltu ber (a tam zâwk chu kan nu leh pa, kan pi leh pute, a nih loh leh kan pi leh pute) te’n kan naupan lai , chu chu kan naupan lai , leh chu thil tawnte chuan puitling kan nih laia kan inlaichînna a nghawng dân a kâwk a ni.

Hetiang hian han ngaihtuah teh. Naupang i nih lai khan, nangmah enkawltu tuin hun engemaw chen a kalsan che, ``nau enkawltu'' pawh ni thei, i chhuahsan khan engtin nge i awm? I hlau em ni? I lungngai em? A nih loh leh, "Aw, an lo kir leh thuai ang" tih ngaihtuahin i che pangngai mai mai em ni. An lo haw khan engtin nge i awm? I thlamuang em? Thinrim? A nih loh leh i ngaihsak lo tak tak em?

Hêng zawhnate i chhânna hian i beisei dân te, i mamawh te, leh naupan laia i thil tawn te a sawi nasa hle. Puitling i nih hunah midang nena in inzawmna i enkawl dan tur pawh clue lian tak an pe bawk.

Heng attachment pattern chi hrang hrangte hi engte nge ni?

Psychologist-te chuan attachment style lian pali an hmuchhuak a, chungte chu:

• Attachment style him tak a ni
• Anxious attachment style a ni
• Attachment style tih loh tur
• Attachment style inrual lo tak a ni

Chung zingah chuan lungkhamna, pumpelh leh inrual lo taka innghahna (attachment pattern) hi insecure attachment pattern kan tih chu a ni. Kan zavaia tan chuan tum ber chu heng insecure attachment atanga chhuak a, secure attachment siam hi a ni tur a ni.

Engtin nge heng attachment pattern te hian inlaichinna a nghawng?

Kum 50 chuang zet zirchianna (attachment theory) aṭanga chhut chuan, psychologist-te chuan naupan lai aṭanga i enkawltu ber nêna rilru lama inzawmna i siam hmasak berte chuan nakin lawka in inngaizawngte chu direct-in a nghawng thei tih an pawm a ni.

Ngaihtuah teh, i enkawltu chuan a ngaihsak reng che a, i mamawh hunah a pui che a, him taka i awm tir che a nih chuan , i lo puitlin chuan inlaichinna nghet leh him tak i nei tam zawk ang. Kawng lehlamah, nangmah enkawltu kha a ngaihsak reng lo a nih chuan, kawng khata an cheibâwl lo che a nih chuan, puitling i nih chuan in inlaichinnaah harsatna engemaw zat i nei thei a ni.

Hei hi naupan laia enkawltu che nen in inzawmna chauh hian a nghawng em?

Research tam tak chuan i attachment style hi i naupan lai a i enkawltute nena in inzawmnain a nghawng nasa ber tih sawi mah se, a bik takin i dam chhung thla 18 hmasa berah khan , mi dangte pawhin hei hi an nghawng thei bawk. I ṭhian hlui leh a hmaa i inngaizawngte pawhin rilru lam thila i chhân lêt dân chu a tidanglam thei a ni. Naupan lai khan secure attachment i nei tawh mai thei a, mahse i attachment style chu inrintawkna tihtawp vang emaw, nakin lawka thil harsa dang i tawn vang emaw a ni thei.

Tin, mi hrang hrang nen hian attachment style hrang hrang i nei thei bawk . Tun hmaa i thil tawn avang hian mi thenkhat nen chuan him zawkin i inhria mai thei.

Ka attachment style hi ka thlak thei ang em?

A theih ngei ang! A thlak danglam chu a theih vek a ni. Mahni inhriatthiamna atanga tan a ni . I rilru put hmang – puitling inzawmnaa i lantir dan – i hriat chian hnuah chuan chutiang ngaihtuahna hlui thenkhat chu i thlak tan thei ang. Script thar ziah ang mai a ni. Ngaihtuahna hlui thlak danglam hian insecure attachment style atanga secure style-a kal turin a pui thei che a ni. Heng zinga ṭhenkhat hi nangmah chauhin i tih theih laiin, kawngpuiah hriatthiamna leh thlawptu tur counselor emaw therapist emaw nena inbiakna neih chu a ṭha fo.

He Secure Attachment Style hi eng nge ni?

Secure attachment chu inlaichinna hrisel, lungawithlak leh rei tak daih thei siam theihna a ni.

Naupang tê têteah attachment pattern him tak siam

Naupang tê tê, secure attachment style nei chuan an enkawltu ber chuan him, hlut, hriatthiam, leh thlamuan angin an inhria a. Nausen an nih laiin an enkawltu chu rei lo te a kal bo chuan an tap a, mahse chu mi chu a lo haw chuan an thlamuan a ni. Hlauhna an neih chuan thlamuanna dil turin an enkawltu hnenah an tlan phei thin.

Puitlingah chuan attachment pattern him tak a awm

Secure attachment style neih hian puitling inlaichinnaah him leh inrintawkna i nei tihna a ni. I rilru put hmang chu i kawppui leh i ṭhian hnai tak takte hnênah tlang takin i sawi a, i mamawh hunah khawtlâng ṭanpuina i zawng a, mahni inngaihhlutna ṭha tak i nei bawk .

Attachment him tak a nihna ziarang

Secure attachment style i neih chuan hengte hi i ti thei fo ang:

• Midangte awlsam taka rinna.
• Inbiakpawhna \ha tak nei rawh.
• I rilru put hmang chu regulate rawh .
• Mahni chauha hun hman hi nuam ka ti lo.
• Midang nen awlsam takin a inzawm thei.
• Buaina a lo chhuah chuan hrisel taka chinfel a ni.
• I nunah mite nen hian rilru lamah i inhnaih thei hle.

Anxious Attachment Style chu eng nge ni?

Hei hi insecure attachment style chi khat a ni. Hetiang attachment nei te hian hnawl leh kalsan hlauhna an nei fo thin . Validation atan anmahni pawn lam mi an en mai thei.

Hei hi a hming dang chu:

• `(Preoccupied attachment style)` tih a ni
• `(Lungkhamna-a buai tak attachment style)`
• `(Lungkhamna-ambivalent attachment style)`

Naupang tê tête zingah lungkhamna (anxious attachment pattern) a awm

Hetiang attachment style nei naupangte hi an nu leh pate nena an inthen hian an lungawi lo hle . Mahse, an nu leh pate an lo haw hunah chuan an thlamuan kim lo. Hêng naupangte hian attachment style dang nei naupangte aiin mi hriat lohte chu an ring lo zâwk mai thei.

Puitlingah chuan lungkhamna (anxious attachment pattern) a awm

Hetiang inzawmna nei puitlingte hian an kawppui emaw, an thiante emaw chuan an hmangaih lo tih an ngaihtuah mai thei. Chuvângin, hnawl emaw, kalsan emaw hlauhna thûk tak an nei thei a ni. A pum puiin mahni inngaihhlutna hniam tak an nei thei a, anmahni tihdikna tur chuan midangte remtihna an mamawh thei bawk. They may have codependent tendencies , leh inzawmna a tawp chuan an lungngai hle thei bawk.

Inzawmna lungkham tak chhinchhiahna

Hetiang inzawmna i neih chuan hengte hi i tawng mai thei:

• Hlutna nei lo anga inhriatna.
• Sawiselna lakah hian hypersensitivity a awm.
• Mahni chauha hun hman a har khawp mai.
• Mahni inngaihhlutna hniam.
• Midang rin a har khawp mai.
• Thikna ang maia hriatna .
• Hnawl emaw, kalsan emaw hlauhna.

Avoidant Attachment Style chu eng nge ni?

Hei hi insecure attachment style chi khat a ni bawk. Avoidant attachment style nei te chuan inngaihzawnna hlauhna avang hian inzawmna awmze nei tak siam an harsat phah thei a ni .

Hei hi hming dang:

• `(Dismissive attachment style)` tih a ni
• `(Lungkhamna-avoidant attachment style)`

Naupang tê tête attachment pattern pumpelh

Hetiang attachment nei naute leh naupang te hian an enkawltu hnen atangin thlamuanna chu active takin an zawng lo. Thlamuanna an pek chuan an hnial lo mai thei a, mahse a tlangpuiin inpawhna chu pumpelh an tum a ni. Heng naupangte hian an enkawltu ber leh mi hriat loh tak takte inkarah hian danglamna an lantir lo tlangpui.

Puitlingah chuan attachment style pumpelh tur a ni

Puitling i nih chuan avoidant attachment style i nei thei a, chu chu inzawmna hnai tak i pumpelh tihna a ni a, i kawppui leh i thiante nena in inzawmnaah hian emotion i dah tlem hle .A ni thei. Hetiang attachment style nei mite hian zalenna nasa tak an nei thei a, tu pawhin anmahni hnaih tum a nih chuan hlauhawmah an inhria thei bawk. Hei hian i rilru put hmang leh rilru natna thuk ber berte chu i nunah mite hnena sawi chhuah a harsat phah thei a ni.

Avoidant attachment chhinchhiahna

Avoidant attachment pattern i neih chuan:

• Mahni chungchanga zalenna nasa tak.
• Midangte chu awlsam takin an ngaihsak lo.
• Midang rin a har khawp mai.
• Miin hnaih a tum chuan a awlai lo hle.
• Inbiak hnai tak (emotional emaw physical emaw) a pumpelh thin.
• Inlaichinna lama inpek duh lohna a awm.

Disorganized Attachment Style chu eng nge ni?

Hei hi insecure attachment style chi thumna a ni. Hetiang inzawmna nei mite hian nungchang inmil lo tak tak an lantir thei a, midang rin harsa an ti thei bawk.

Hei hi a hming dang chu:

• `(Hlauhna-a pumpelh attachment style)`

Naupang tê tête zingah attachment pattern inrual lo tak tak

Hetiang attachment nei naupangte hi an buai hmel fo thin . An chungah thil tha lo a thleng ang tih an hlau mai thei. Hei hi an enkawltu ber rilru lama inmil lohna vang a ni fo thin. Entîr nân, enkawltu chuan a châng chuan naupang chu a thlamuan thei a, a châng chuan hlauhna a thlen thei bawk. Naupang chuan an enkawltu chu a ring kim thei lo mai thei, a chhan chu anmahni tichhe tu vek hian a châng chuan a thlamuan ve bawk a ni . Hetiang attachment nei naupangte hi tihduhdah, traumatized, emaw, ngaihsak loh emaw an ni thei.

Puitlingah chuan attachment pattern inrual lo tak tak a awm

Hetiang inzawmna nei puitlingte hian thil tihsual emaw hriat lawk theih loh emaw an lantir fo thin . Hmangaihna leh nihna an beisei – mahse chutiang thilte chu an hlau bawk. Chuvângin, hmangaihna zawng a, chumi hnua hnâwl nawn fo dân an nei thei a ni. An kawppui chu an vuan tlat a, chutah chuan an nawr chhuak thei bawk. Entîr nân, ni khat chu an rilru a na hle a, a dawtah chuan an ngaihsak lo vek thei bawk.

Attachment inrual lo tak takte mizia

Inzawmna tha lo tak i neih chuan:

• Midang rin a har khawp mai.
• I rilru put hmang thunun a harsa khawp mai.
• Anxious leh avoidant attachment style pahnih hi phochhuah a ni.
• Hnawl hlauhna.
• Thiltih buai emaw, inhnialna emaw.

Heng zawng zawngah hian ka fa chu eng nge thleng ang?

I fa nena in inzawmna (emotional bond) i siam hi a pawimawh hle.. Mi nun chhung zawngin inzawmna (attachment pattern) chu a danglam thei a, mahse i fate nena in inzawmna hmasa ber chuan kawng khatah a siam a ni. Naupangte chu an zin chhuah hmaa map leh compass pek ang bawkin, inzawmna him tak din chu a pawimawh ber a ni .

Naupangte chu an thanlenna kawngah an emotional health kaihhruai hi thil awlsam tak a ni. Cement ang maiin han ngaihtuah teh. Cement dah thar chu kan duh angin kan shape thei a, kan mold thei bawk. Mahse chu cement chu a lo vawt tawh chuan a thlak danglam theih nan hna tam tak a ngai a ni. Tunah chuan i fate nena inzawmna nghet tak siam chuan an hmalam hun hlawhtlinna kawng a hawng ta a ni.

Engtin nge ka fa nen hian inzawmna nghet tak ka siam theih ang?

Heng zawng zawng hi ngaihtuah chungin, i fate nunah hma a sawn theih nan inzawmna him tak i siam thei ang em tih i ngaihtuah mai thei. A hmasa berin thawk la . Attachment hrisel leh him tak siamna kawngah hian awareness hi a pawimawh ber a ni . Dik tak chuan, i fate chu rilru lama an ṭhanlen theih nâna an mamawh chu instinctive takin i pe tawh mai thei. Chu bâkah, i fate ṭhatna tûr ngaihtuah lo ni ta la, he thuziak hi i chhiar lo ang, a dik em?

I fate nena inzawmna nghet tak siam tûra i tih theih ṭhenkhat chu hetiang hi a ni:

• An tan leh an mamawh tan i awm tih hriattir rawh. I fate chu nitin darkar 24 chhung, kar khatah ni 7 chhung i ngaihvenna zawng zawng pek hi thil tangkai tak a ni lo. Mahse, a theih ang anga tih tum la, a bîk takin naupangin a beisei loh ber hunah. Hei hian naupang hnenah hun hman i duh tih a lantir a, thil an tih vang ni lovin, an nihna ang an nih vang a ni.
• I fate rilru put hmang chu nemnghet rawh. I fain eng nge a hriat theih tih hre reng la, chu rilru put hmang chu label turin ṭanpui rawh. Hriatthiamna neih chu thil pangngai a ni tih te, rilru put hmang zawng zawng hian tum a nei vek tih te, chutianga inhriatna neih chu a pawi lo tih hriat nawn tir rawh. Thinrim ang chi rilru natna harsa tak takte enkawl dan tur hrisel tak zawng tura tanpui chuan nang leh i fa inkara inzawmna chu a tichak ang.
• I fate ngaihvennaah inhmang rawh. I fate hobby leh ngaihven zawngte zir rawh. An thil duhzawng chungchangah anmahni nena inzawmna siam dan tur zawng rawh.
• Inkawp nuam ti mai rawh. Nu leh pa emaw, enkawltu emaw i nih angin i hna lian ber chu i fate kaihhruaina leh fuihna pek hi a ni. Hei hi naupang thanlenna atan a pawimawh hle laiin, anmahni bula hun hman mai mai pawh hi a hlawkthlak hle bawk. I fate nêna inpawh tawnna , sâwmna rilru pu chunga inpawh chuan i duh tih leh i hlim tih a hriattîr a ni. An nihna ang takin i hmangaih tih hriattir rawh.

``Attachment Theory`` leh ``Attachment Parenting`` hi thil inang an ni em?

Attachment parenting tih hi nu leh pate hian an fate taksa lamah an hnaih a , an mamawh an ngaihtuah thiam hle a, chu chuan naupangte chu secure attachment an neih theih nan an pui thin tih ngaihdan a ni. Attachment parenting hi attachment theory lama zirchianna atanga infuih a ni a, mahse an pahnih hi a inang lo.

Attachment parenting duhtute chuan i tana ṭha nia i hriat chu zawm la, a bak chu kalsan turin an rawt tlangpui. Mahse, fa enkawl chungchangah chuan one-size-fits-all approach a awm tak tak lo.

I naute dam chhung thla 18 hmasa bera inzawmna i siam hian a hnua a inzawmna a enkawl danah nghawng lian tak a nei thei a ni. I naute nena in inpawh hunah chuan, thil tum nei takin awm la, him leh him taka awm tir rawh . Eng ang rilru put hmang pawh, lian emaw, te emaw, an insem theih mi ang maiin siam rawh. I naute nena inzawmna nghet tak siam chu nakin lawka hlawhtlinna atana an din theihna kawng khat chauh a ni. I naute naupang enkawltu doctor nen inbia la, i tana tha tur hmanraw hriat belh rawh.

Thil pawimawh tak tak hriat reng tur (Take-Home Message) .

Chuvangin, kan sawi tawh atang hian kan naupan laia kan thil tawn te hian kan puitlin hun a nghawng nasat zia chu i hrethiam mai thei. Kan attachment pattern pawh chutiang chu a ni.

• Inzawmna hmasa ber chu a pawimawh hle: I naupan lai a enkawltute nena in inzawmna chuan nakin lawka in inzawmna tur lungphum a siam a ni.
• A thlak danglam thei: Tuna i attachment pattern hi a him lo a nih pawhin tihdanglam theih loh a ni lo. Mahni inhriatthiamna leh thawhrimna a ngai chauh a ni .
• Nu leh pate hnêna thuchah: I fate nêna inzawmna nghet leh nghet tak siam chu thilpêk hlu ber i pêk theih a ni. An dam chhung zawngin an tan chakna ropui tak a ni ang.
• Ṭanpuina dawng hlau suh: Hemi chungchang hi hriat belh i duh a nih chuan, emaw, i attachment style-ah harsatna awm nia i hriat chuan, counselor hnen atanga tanpuina dil a tha.

He zinkawngah hian kan awm vek tih hre reng ang che. A pawimawh ber chu mahni inhriatthiamna leh inlaichinna hrisel siam tum hi a ni.

` Attachment patterns, rilru hriselna , naupang hmasawnna , nu leh pa, inlaichinna, emotions , secure attachment