Masiku ano kwakhala kofala kuti ana athu azimva kusungulumwa. Mwana wanu wamwamuna kapena wamkazi mwina nthawi zina amamva chimodzimodzi, eti? Lero, tikambirana mwatsatanetsatane za tanthauzo lenileni la kusungulumwa, chifukwa chake ana athu amamva choncho, komanso maubwenzi ndi anthu , omwe angakhale yankho labwino kwambiri pa izi, komanso kufunika kwake m'miyoyo ya ana.
Kodi kusungulumwa kumatanthauza chiyani kwenikweni?
Kusungulumwa ndi chinthu chomwe tonsefe timamva nthawi ina. Mwachidule, tikafuna kukhala ndi ena, kukhala pafupi nawo, kulandira chikondi ndi kukoma mtima kwawo, timamva kuti tili tokha, tili kutali ndi ena, komanso tili tokha . Tangoganizirani, kodi mwana wanu angamve bwanji ngati ana ena sakugwirizana naye pamasewera kusukulu? Umenewo ndi mtundu wa chisoni ndi kupanda pake komwe kumabwera chifukwa cha kusungulumwa kumeneku.
Zochitika zomwe ana aang'ono ndi ana ang'onoang'ono angamve kuti ali okha:
Pali zifukwa zambiri zomwe ana athu angamve kuti ali okha. Nazi zitsanzo zingapo:
- Mukakhala osungulumwa ndipo mulibe anzanu, kapena ena akamaona ngati akusiyidwa: Tangoganizirani momwe zingakhalire zomvetsa chisoni ngati mwana wanu ndiye yekha amene watsala pamene ena onse m'kalasi akusewera limodzi. Mungaganize kuti, 'Palibe amene amasamala za ine, ndilibe anzanga.'
- Ukaganiza kuti, 'Sindili woyenera kukhala pano, sindili woyenera kukhalapo': Nthawi zina ana amamva ngati sali woyenera kukhala m'kalasi mwawo, m'gulu la anzawo, kapena ngakhale m'banja mwawo. Nthawi zina, amamva kusungulumwa kwambiri.
- Mwana akamaganiza kuti ndi iye yekha amene ali ndi vuto, maganizo monga akuti, "Vutoli limandichitikira ine ndekha, palibe wina amene angakumane nalo, palibe amene angandimvetse," mwanayo amakhala wodzipatula kwambiri.
- Kumva kupweteka pambuyo pa ndewu ndi kholo, bwenzi, kapena m'bale: Ngakhale kukwiya pang'ono kungachititse ana kumva kuti ali okha komanso kuti sakufuna kulankhulana.
- Kaya ndi imfa ya wokondedwa kapena kulekana: Wachibale akamwalira, makolo apatukana, kapena bwenzi lapamtima likasamukira kusukulu ina, ana amatha kusungulumwa kwambiri.
Kodi ana masiku ano amadzimva kuti ali okha kwambiri?
Tsopano onani, masiku ano, si ana aang'ono okha, anthu azaka zonse amati amadzimva osungulumwa kwambiri. Chifukwa chiyani zili choncho? Chifukwa chimodzi chachikulu ndi dziko la digito lomwe likuyenda mwachangu . Zonse zikachitika pafoni, makompyuta, ndi mapiritsi, kulankhulana maso ndi maso, kumwetulirana maso ndi maso, ndi zina zotero, mwayi wopeza ubwenzi, maubwenzi, ndi zina zotero umakhala wochepa.Sizichitika ndendende. Kunena zoona, kuti ubwenzi wabwino ndi ubale ndi banja zikhale zolimba, ndikofunikira kwambiri kukumana maso ndi maso ndikukambirana, kukhala ndi nthawi limodzi. Pamene zimenezo zikusowa, ana ena ndi achinyamata amamva kusungulumwa. Ngakhale atakhala ndi abwenzi mazana ambiri pafoni, ngati alibe woti alankhule naye za zomwe zili m'maganizo mwawo m'moyo weniweni, zimenezonso ndi kusungulumwa.
Kukhala wekha chonchi kwa nthawi yayitali sikwabwino pa thanzi la maganizo a mwana komanso thanzi lake lakuthupi . Kungakhudze osati maganizo ake okha, komanso thupi lake lonse.
Koma pali nkhani yabwino! Pali njira zochepetsera kusungulumwa kumeneku. Njira yabwino yochitira zimenezi ndikuwonjezera maubwenzi ndi anthu.
Ndiye kodi kulumikizana kumeneku ndi kotani?
Mwachidule, izi zikutanthauza kukhala ndi lingaliro la kukhala m'gulu, ubwenzi wapamtima, ndi mgwirizano ndi ena, komanso kumva kuti 'Ndili m'gulu ili' ndi 'Ndimalandiridwa ndi anthu awa' . Ichi ndi chosowa chachikulu cha anthu, monga chakudya, chakumwa, ndi tulo. Monga momwe njala imachitikira tikapanda kupeza chakudya, kumva kusungulumwa komwe ndatchula kale kumachitika tikapanda kupeza mgwirizanowu.
Nanga, chimachitika ndi chiyani mwana akakhala ndi mabwenzi abwino ngati amenewa?
- Kusungulumwa kumachepa kwambiri. Samadzimva kuti ali okha nthawi zonse.
- Ngakhale atadzimva kuti ali okha mwadzidzidzi, zimakhala zosavuta kuti apirire. Angadzilimbikitse kuti, 'Izi zikhala bwino pakapita nthawi, ndili ndi munthu woti ndilankhule naye.'
- Ngakhale atakhala osungulumwa, amatha kuchira msanga ndikukhalanso osangalala. Izi zikutanthauza kuti samakhala ndi nthawi yambiri yosunga chisoni.
Kodi kugwirizana ndi anthu kumachepetsa bwanji kusungulumwa?
Kulumikizana kumeneku ndi kwabwino kwambiri pa thanzi la maganizo a ana komanso thanzi lawo lakuthupi. Mwana akakhala ndi ubale wabwino ndi anthu ena, m'malo momva kusungulumwa, amamva zinthu monga:
- Amamva kuti ali pafupi kwambiri ndi anthu omwe ali nawo m'miyoyo yawo. Izi zikutanthauza kuti amamva ngati ali ndi ubale wapamtima komanso wochezeka ndi anthu monga amayi awo, abambo awo, abale awo, anzawo, ndi aphunzitsi awo.
- Ena amaona kuti amakondedwa, amasamalidwa, amamvedwa, komanso amamvetsedwa. Tangoganizirani momwe mwana angakhalire wotonthoza ngati atauza amayi ake za vuto linalake, ndipo mayiyo amamvetsera nati, "Mwana wanga, usaope, ndili pano." Ndi mmene zimakhalira.
- Amamva kuti amalandiridwa mopanda malire, ali m'gulu lawo, ndipo amaonedwa kuti ndi ofunika momwe alili. M'malo modandaula ndi zinthu monga 'Ndine wakuda, ndine woonda, ndine wonenepa,' amakhala ndi chidaliro chakuti 'Ndili bwino momwe ndiliri, ena amandikonda, ndipo ndine wofunika.'
- Amaona ngati ali m'gulu la zinthu zinazake.Izi zikutanthauza kuti, mumamva ngati, 'Ili ndi banja langa, ili ndi gulu langa la anzanga, ili ndi gulu langa la kriketi kusukulu, ili ndi dera langa lakumudzi.' Ndibwino kumva ngati simuli nokha, kuti muli ndi malo omwe muli nawo.
- Amaona kuti ali ndi anthu omwe angawadalire, omwe amamva bwino komanso osangalala akakhala nawo. Chikhulupiriro chakuti 'kaya ndili ndi vuto lotani, pali wina amene ndingamuuze, ndipo sadzandisiya' ndi mphamvu yaikulu m'maganizo.
- Amamva ngati sali okha, koma gawo la chinthu chachikulu kuposa iwo okha. Mwina ndi kulumikizana ndi chilengedwe. Kapena, amamvanso izi akamachita nawo ntchito yabwino, ntchito yothandiza anthu, yomwe amakonda. Amamva ngati, 'Ndikuchita chinthu chofunikira padziko lapansi.'
Makolo angathandize kuchepetsa kusungulumwa mwa ana!
Tsopano mwina mukuganiza kuti, 'Ndiye ndingamuthandize bwanji mwana wanga kuthana ndi kusungulumwa kumeneku? Ndingamuthandize bwanji kupanga maubwenzi oterewa?' Pali zinthu zambiri zomwe makolo angachite pa izi.
Thandizani kukulitsa luso locheza ndi anthu
Chofunika kwambiri ndi kuphunzitsa ana maluso ofunikira kuti amange ubale wabwino ndi anthu.
- Phunzitsani ena kukhala okoma mtima komanso othandiza: Mungayambe ndi zinthu zazing'ono monga, 'Mwana wanga, ngati mnzanuyo wayiwala kubweretsa pensulo lero, mupatse pensulo yanu yowonjezera', 'Ngati azakhali anu kunyumba akufunika thandizo pang'ono, chonde chitani zimenezo.' Zinthu zimenezi zidzapangitsa mwanayo kumva kuti akulandiridwa ndi ena.
- Aphunzitseni momwe angakhalire mabwenzi abwino komanso abwino: Simuyenera kukhala mabwenzi ndi aliyense, koma ndikofunikira kupeza mabwenzi omwe akugwirizana nanu, omwe ndi abwino kwa inu, komanso omwe amakumvetsetsani. Muyeneranso kuwaphunzitsa kupewa mabwenzi oipa omwe amakukwiyitsani.
- Phunzitsani mwana wanu kumvetsera mosamala zomwe ena akunena (Kumvetsera Mwachangu), ndi kufotokoza maganizo awo mwaulemu komanso momveka bwino. Izi ndizofunikira kwambiri pa ubale wabwino. Muthandizeni mwana wanu kumvetsetsa kufunika koyang'ana munthu akamalankhula ndikumumvetsera.
- Phunzirani kugwira ntchito limodzi ndi kulemekeza maganizo a ena. Maluso amenewa angakulitsidwe mwa kutenga nawo mbali mu timu yamasewera ya kusukulu, gulu la asodzi, kapena zochitika zina zamagulu.
Pangani ubale wa tsiku ndi tsiku ndi mwana wanu.
Komanso, pezani nthawi yolankhula ndi mwana wanu tsiku lililonse ndikukhala naye nthawi. Kaya muli otanganidwa bwanji, patulani mphindi 15-20 patsiku kuti mugwiritse ntchito mwana wanu.
Mwanayo ayenera kukhala ndi chidaliro kuti "Amayi/Abambo amandipezera nthawi, amamvera zomwe ndikunena, ndipo alipo kuti andithandize mosasamala kanthu za vuto langa."
Ichi ndi mphamvu yawo yaikulu. Ngati mutakhala ndi mwana wanu ndikukambirana zomwe zinachitika tsiku limenelo, nthawi zambiri adzakuuzani za chisangalalo chake, chisoni chake, ndi mavuto ake. Izi zidzakuthandizani kumvetsetsa zomwe zikuchitika ndi mwana wanu, kaya akumva kusungulumwa, komanso mtundu wa thandizo lomwe akufunikira. Ngakhale zinthu zazing'ono monga kusewera limodzi, kuwerenga buku, kapena kuthandiza kuphika zingalimbikitse ubale umenewu.
Kulimbitsa ubale wa mwana wanu ndi anthu ena mwanjira imeneyi kudzamuthandiza osati lero lokha, komanso tsogolo lake lonse, ngakhale akamakula. Mwana wokhala ndi ubale wolimba m'banja amakhala ndi mwayi wopambana m'gulu.
Ndiye, ndi zinthu ziti zofunika kwambiri zomwe muyenera kukumbukira kuchokera pa zomwe takambiranazi? (Uthenga Wopita Nawo Kunyumba)
- Kusungulumwa ndi chinthu chomwe aliyense angamve. Musachite manyazi nacho, musachite mantha nacho, ndipo musaganize kuti ndi vuto la mwanayo.
- Pakhoza kukhala zifukwa zambiri zomwe ana amamva kuti ali okha. Dziwani izi ndipo samalani ndi kusintha kwa khalidwe la mwana wanu.
- Kulumikizana ndi anthu ena ndiye njira yabwino yothetsera kusungulumwa. Ndikofunikira kwambiri pa thanzi la maganizo ndi thupi la ana.
- Makolo angathandize kuchepetsa kusungulumwa kumeneku mwa kukulitsa luso la ana awo locheza ndi anthu komanso kumanga ubale wolimba ndi iwo. Ndinu mphunzitsi woyamba komanso wabwino kwambiri wa mwana wanu.
- Khalani ndi nthawi yolankhula ndi mwana wanu tsiku lililonse, muzimumvetsera. Muuzeni kuti muli naye. Muuzeni kuti, "Zivute zitani, ndidzakhala nanu."
Ngati mukuona kuti mwana wanu akumva kusungulumwa, kambiranani naye za nkhaniyi mwachikondi komanso mokoma mtima. Nthawi zina sangakhale ndi mawu ofotokozera, koma amatsegula mtima wake akaona chidwi chanu. Ngati pakufunika kutero, musazengereze kufunafuna upangiri wachipatala , mlangizi wa kusukulu, kapena uphungu woyenerera. Chimwemwe ndi thanzi la mwana ndizofunikira kwambiri kuposa china chilichonse!
Kusungulumwa , Kulumikizana ndi Anthu, Ana, Thanzi la Maganizo, Makolo, Kusungulumwa, Kulera Ana, Psychology ya Ana











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