Ese umwana wawe akundana n'abantu bakundana ku ishuri? Reka tuvuge kuri iki kintu cyitwa (Clique)!

Muraho! Uko umwana wawe agenda akura, kugira inshuti biba ikintu cy'agaciro kuri we, sibyo? Kurenga umuryango no kwihangira inshuti ni ingenzi cyane mu iterambere rye, ni ukuvuga ko azakura nk'abantu bigenga. Ubu bucuti buzamufasha cyane mu kubaka imibanire myiza kandi yizewe mu gihe kizaza. Ariko rimwe na rimwe, ubu 'bucuti bw'inshuti' bushobora gutera imbere mu buryo butandukanye gato, ndetse rimwe na rimwe mu buryo bushobora guteza ibibazo. Ibyo nibyo tugiye kuvugaho uyu munsi, cyane cyane amatsinda ya `(Clique)`. Ntimugire ubwoba, reka tubiganireho mu buryo twese dushobora gusobanukirwa, mu buryo bworoshye.

Ni irihe tandukaniro riri hagati y'itsinda ry'inshuti n'"itsinda ry'abantu"?

Noneho, reka tubanze dusobanukirwe neza itandukaniro riri hagati y'itsinda ry'inshuti gusa n'icyo twita "agatsiko". Nitubyumva neza, bizatworohera gufasha abana.

Ubusanzwe, inshuti zihurira hamwe bitewe n'ibintu bakundana . Tekereza nk'itsinda rikina umukino umwe, abana bo mu ishuri rimwe, abantu batuye mu gace kamwe, cyangwa imiryango ifitanye isano. Abantu bo muri ubwo bwoko bw'amatsinda y'inshuti bafite ubwisanzure bwo kuganira, gukina no gusabana n'abandi batari abo muri iryo tsinda. Ntibacibwa cyangwa ngo birukanwe mu itsinda kubera kubikora. Nta tegeko rivuga ko mugomba gukorera ibintu byose hamwe. Ni ibisanzwe kandi ni byiza.

Ariko, iri `(Clique)` ritandukanye gato, rifatanye cyane, itsinda rito rifatanye . Akenshi bagira amategeko yabo bwite n'uburyo bitwara. Amwe muri ayo mategeko avugwa neza, andi akaba adasobanutse. Bakorera ibintu byinshi hamwe. Ariko ikibazo nyamukuru hano ni uko ubwo bwoko bwa `(Clique)` butubakiye ku ndangagaciro zihuriweho, ibitekerezo byiza, n'imyizerere yo gufashanya. Akenshi, intego yabo nyamukuru ni ukurinda `(Status)` yabo na `(Popularity)` yabo. Urugero, abantu bo muri `(Clique)` bashobora gutekereza ko `baruta abandi', cyangwa bashobora guhora bagerageza kwerekana ko `(Clique)` yabo ari ``nini'' kurusha abandi. Ni ukuvuga ko hashobora kubaho amarushanwa ahoraho hagati yabo.

Kuki abana bacu bashaka kwinjira muri `(Clique)` gutya?

Noneho ushobora kuba uri kwibaza uti 'Kuki abana bakunda kujya muri ubwo buryo bworoshye kandi bufite ibibazo?' Ntabwo ari impamvu imwe gusa ihari, hari nyinshi. Reka tubirebe.

• Icyifuzo cyo gukundwa: Ku bana bamwe, kuba 'ukunzwe', kuba 'umuntu mwiza' ni cyo kintu cy'ingenzi kuri bo. Rero, aya 'matsinda' asa nkaho ari ahantu ho kwigarurira icyubahiro mu mibanire, ni ukuvuga kwemerwa n'abandi bantu ku ishuri. Batekereza bati 'Niba ndi muri iryo tsinda, abantu bose bazanyubaha.'
• Ubwoba bwo kuba wenyine:Hari abandi bana bifatanya na bo kuko batinya ko batereranwa, bakaba bonyine, kandi bakabura aho baba. Batekereza bati “Yego, byaba byiza ninjiye mu itsinda, bitabaye ibyo nzaba ndi njyenyine.” Iki ni ikintu gishobora kumvikana cyane cyane n'abana bafite ibyiyumvo bito.
• Irari ryo kugenzura cyangwa gukurikira: Hari abana bamwe bakunda kugenzura abandi, gushyiraho ibyo bashaka, no kugira ngo abandi babatege amatwi. Kuri bene abo bana, iyi '(Clique)' ni ahantu heza (haba mu byiza cyangwa mu bibi). Aba akenshi bagenzurwa n '"Umuyobozi" . Ni we ugena abagomba kuba mu itsinda n'abagomba kuba hanze. Ku rundi ruhande, ibi bishobora no kugaragara neza ku bana bakunda gukurikiza amategeko, bakunda kumva ibyo abandi bavuga, kandi bagatinya gufata ibyemezo byabo. Kuko, aho ngaho, babwirwa neza "icyo gukora".

Ariko, ikintu gitangaje ni uko rimwe na rimwe abana b’abanyabuntu, bakunzwe, kandi bafite impano bakurwa muri '(Clique)' cyangwa ntibemererwe kwinjira mu itsinda. Impamvu y'ibi ni uko imico y'umwana n'icyizere cye bishobora kuba ikibazo ku muyobozi. Umuyobozi ashobora gutekereza ati 'Uyu mwana si umuntu unyumva, azagaragara cyane kundusha.' Cyane cyane niba umwana akunzwe nubwo yaba ari wenyine, ibi birashoboka cyane ko bibaho. Hari igihe umuyobozi avugana n'inshuti z'umwana kugira ngo binjire muri '(Clique)', ariko umwana ukunzwe ntabwo yemerwa. Iki nacyo ni ikibazo kibabaje cyane.

Kuki abandi bumva icyo umuyobozi wa `(Clique)` avuga?

Noneho reka turebe impamvu abandi bagize iri tsinda (Cluque) bumva ibyo umuyobozi avuga byose. Ese koko ni ikintu bakora kubera ubucuti, kubera urukundo bafitiye umuyobozi? Cyangwa hari indi mpamvu?

Akenshi, abagize `(Clique)` bakurikiza amategeko y'umuyobozi neza. Bishobora kuba, 'Tugomba kwambara nk'uko twambaraga umunsi ukurikiyeho', 'Tugomba kwambara umunsi ukurikiyeho', 'Ntituvugana n'abantu umunsi ukurikiyeho', 'Dukora ibintu nk'ibi gusa', n'ibindi. Ibi `(Clique)` akenshi bigira amategeko menshi, yaba avuzwe mu buryo bweruye cyangwa atavuzwe . Nanone, hari `(igitutu)` kinini cyo gukurikiza ayo mategeko neza. Bitera kumva ko 'Niba twese tubikoze, ni wowe wenyine udashobora guhinduka'.

Mu by’ukuri, abanyamuryango benshi bateranira ku muyobozi, atari ukubera ubucuti nyakuri, ahubwo ni ukubera ko bashaka kurinda umwanya wabo mu itsinda.

Abana bo mu itsinda ry’abantu bahora bahangayikishijwe n’ibintu nk’ibi: ‘Ese nzakomeza kuba icyamamare muri iri tsinda?’, ‘Niba nkoze ikintu kibi, nkavuga ikintu kibi, cyangwa nkambara nabi, itsinda rizantererana?’ Iki ni ikintu gitera stress nyinshi. Umwana ahora afite ubwoba kandi akeka.

Ni ryari ibibazo bivuka bitewe na `(Cluques)`?

Ku bana benshi, igihe kiri hagati y'imyaka icumi na cumi n'umunani cyitwa 'ubugimbi' na 'ubwangavu'.Ni igihe ugerageza kumenya uwo uri we, uko ushaka kwishyira mu mwanya wa sosiyete, uko ushaka kugaragara, n'uwo uri we. Rero, ni ibisanzwe ko abana bari muri iki kigero rimwe na rimwe bumva batizeye ibyabo, bakitega kwemerwa n'abandi, kandi bakifuza kumarana umwanya n'abana 'bameze neza' kandi 'bakomeye'. Uko ni ko bimeze kuri iyo myaka.

Ariko, aya "matsinda" ashobora gutera ibibazo by'igihe kirekire, haba mu mutwe no mu myitwarire , cyane cyane mu bihe nk'ibi:

• Iyo abana bashutswe gukora ibintu bazi ko ari bibi cyangwa batemeranya n'amarangamutima yabo, kugira ngo bashimishe umuyobozi cyangwa babe mu itsinda. Urugero, ibintu nko gutoteza undi muntu cyangwa kubeshya.
• Iyo abana basunitswe , basohora amafaranga menshi ku myenda mishya , bakagura telefoni igezweho, bagaseka abandi, bagakwirakwiza ibihuha (byaba ari ku maso yabo cyangwa kuri interineti binyuze ku mbuga nkoranyambaga).
• Iyo abana bahatiwe gukora ibintu biteje akaga nko kwiba, gukora imirimo mibi, cyangwa kwangiza ibintu by'abandi , iyo bahatiwe gukora ibintu nk'ibi, 'Twese turabikora, nawe ukwiye kubikora.'
• Iyo itsinda ribaye itsinda cyangwa agatsiko katemera imibereho myiza, gashyiraho amategeko mabi nko kugabanya ibiro, cyangwa gutoteza cyangwa gutera ubwoba abandi bitewe n'uko basa, ubumuga, ubwoko, cyangwa idini.
• Iyo umwana yumva yanzwe cyane, yahejwe, kandi agashyirwa mu kato n'itsinda, ibi bishobora kwangiza cyane agaciro k'umwana.

Tekereza kuri ibi, izi "(Cliques)" ziba zikomeye cyane, bivuze ko ibibazo biba bikomeye cyane, iyo umwana ageze mu mwaka wa gatandatu, uwa karindwi, cyangwa uwa munani (amashuri yisumbuye). Ariko, rimwe na rimwe izi "(Cliques)" zishobora gutangira afite imyaka ine cyangwa itanu. Kubwibyo, ni byiza kubimenya kuva akiri muto.

Twafasha dute nk'ababyeyi?

Noneho, iyo umwana wawe arimo arwana, wenda ababara, n'ubu bucuti, `(Cluques), hari ibintu byinshi wowe, ni ukuvuga twe, nk'ababyeyi dushobora gukora kugira ngo tumushyigikire. Reka turebe ibyo ari byo. Ibi ni ibintu byoroshye cyane kandi bifatika.

• Sangiza umwana wawe ibyo wanyuzemo ku ishuri, udutsiko twahuye natwo, n'ibyo wagiranye n'inshuti zawe. Mubwire uko wabyumvaga kuri ibyo bintu n'uko wabyitwayemo. Ibi bizafasha umwana wawe kumva ko ibi bintu atari we bibaho gusa.
• Gerageza kumva uruhande rw'umuyobozi: Sobanurira umwana wawe ko nubwo yaba ari umuyobozi w'"itsinda" ry'abantu, ashobora kuba ameze nk'abandi bose , ahangayikishijwe no gukundwa no kwemerwa n'abandi . Babwire ko umuyobozi ashobora kuba akora gutyo kugira ngo ahishe impungenge ze.
• Tanga ibitabo na filime bikwiye: Shaka ibitabo na filime umwana wawe ashobora gusobanukirwa ku bucuti n'udutsiko. Urugero, igitabo nka 'Blubber' ya Judy Bloom cyangwa filime nka 'Mean Girls'. (Ibi biri mu Cyongereza, niba bishoboka, birebere hamwe n'umwana wawe kandi mubiganireho. Ibi bizorohereza umwana wawe gusobanukirwa uko ibintu bimeze.)
• Shishikariza umwana wawe gukora ibikorwa bidasanzwe: Shishikariza umwana wawe kwitabira ibikorwa bimukura mu ishuri . Ibintu nk'amasomo y'ubuhanzi, amasomo ya muzika, siporo, ubuhanzi bwo kurwana, amasomo y'indimi, amatsinda y'ibidukikije, akazi k'ubukorerabushake, n'ibindi. Ibi biha umwana wawe amahirwe yo kugira inshuti hanze y'ishuri, hashingiwe ku nyungu bahuriyeho, z'imyaka itandukanye, n'iz'amashuri atandukanye. Icyo gihe itsinda ry'ishuri ntirizaba ari ryo shuri ryonyine.
• Igisha ubucuti bwiza no kumva ibintu neza: Shishikariza umwana wawe kugira ubucuti bwiza kandi bwiza . Igisha kutagwa mu "matsinda" menshi. Igisha kwita ku byiyumvo by'abandi no gukora ibikwiye kuri bo ubwabo, badahora bakurikira imbaga . Igisha mu buryo bworoshye uti: "Ntitugomba gusimbuka mu mwobo mu gihe abandi bose barimo gusimbuka."

Ushobora gusobanurira umwana wawe ko "udutsiko" dushobora guhinduka vuba cyane, ko itsinda ririho uyu munsi rishobora kuzimira ejo, bityo rero ni ngombwa cyane kugira inshuti nziza, z'inyangamugayo kandi zisobanukiwe . Ibanga rikomeye ryo gukundwa no gukundwa na buri wese ni ukuba inshuti wifuza kugirira abandi.

Hanyuma, ibintu bike byo kwibuka (Ubutumwa bwo kujyana mu rugo)

Rero, ndizera ko ubu ufite igitekerezo cyiza cy'uburyo iyi '(Clique)' igira ingaruka ku buzima bw'abana, ibibazo ishobora gutera, n'uko twagombye kubyitwaramo. Wibuke ko buri mwana ahura n'ibintu nk'ibi mu gihe runaka mu buzima bwe. Ni ibisanzwe. Ikintu cy'ingenzi ni ukuganira n'umwana wawe mu buryo bweruye, kumutega amatwi, no kumvisha ko ushyigikiwe, umukunda kandi umwitaho.

• Ubucuti ni ingenzi cyane, ariko ntugomba kwemera igitutu n'amategeko bitari ngombwa ya ``(Cluques)''.
• Buri gihe shishikariza umwana wawe gukora icyo yumva ko ari cyiza, akurikije umutimanama we.
• Bigishe gufatana neza n'abandi, kubaha no kumva uko abandi bumva.
• Niba umwana wawe afite ikibazo, mutere inkunga yo kukivugaho no kugisaba ubufasha. Ibi bishobora kuba biturutse kuri wowe, umwarimu, cyangwa undi muntu mukuru yizeye.

Ubitekerejeho, ushobora rwose gufasha umwana wawe guhangana n'iyi mibanire igoye. Icyo gihe bizamworohera kugirana ubucuti bwiza, burangwa n'ibyishimo kandi burambye. Amahirwe masa kuri wowe n'umwana wawe!

Ubucuti bw'abana , udutsiko tw'ishuri, igitutu cy'urungano, inama z'ababyeyi, udutsiko, ubuhanga mu mibanire n'abandi