Ingaba nomntwana wakho usela utywala engaphantsi kweminyaka yobudala? (Ukusela Utywala Kwabantwana Abangaphantsi kweminyaka yobudala) Masiqaphele oku!

Namhlanje siza kuthetha ngesihloko esikhathaza abazali abaninzi, mna nawe, kwaye thina njengoluntu kufuneka sinikele ingqalelo kuso. Oko kukuthi, ukusela utywala ngabantwana bethu abancinci, oko kukuthi, abantwana abangekafiki kwiminyaka esemthethweni yokusebenzisa utywala. Cinga nje ngomonakalo omkhulu onokwenziwa yile mkhwa kubomi bezi ntyatyambo zincinci. Ngoko ke, masithethe ngale nto ngokweenkcukacha, akunjalo?

Kuthetha ukuthini kanye kanye ukusela utywala kwabantwana abangaphantsi kweminyaka yobudala?

Ngamafutshane, ukusela utywala kwabantwana abangaphantsi kweminyaka yobudala kukusela utywala ngaphambi kweminyaka yobudala esemthethweni yokusela, oko kukuthi, umntu ongaphantsi kwaloo minyaka. Ngoku khangela, kwilizwe elifana neMelika, ubuncinane beminyaka yokusela utywala esemthethweni yi-21 yeminyaka. Nangona kunjalo, lo mda weminyaka unokwahluka ukusuka kwilizwe ukuya kwelinye, kwaye ngamanye amaxesha ukusuka kummandla ukuya komnye ngaphakathi kwelizwe elinye. Kwilizwe lethu, iminyaka engama-21 ithathwa njengeyona minyaka incinci yokuthenga utywala nokubusela kwiindawo ezinelayisenisi.

Kwakhona, amanye amazwe anezinye izinto ezingafaniyo nale mida yobudala, oko kukuthi, iimvume ezikhethekileyo. Umzekelo, ngemvume yabazali, okanye kuxhomekeke kuhlobo lotywala, le mithetho inokwahluka kancinci ngokuxhomekeke kwindawo ekhonzwa kuyo. Nangona kunjalo, eyona nto ibalulekileyo kukuba kuyingozi kakhulu ukuba umntwana asele utywala eneminyaka xa engekakulungeli ngokwasemzimbeni nangokwengqondo ukujongana nemiphumo yotywala.

Zeziphi iingxaki ezinokuvela xa umntu esela utywala eselula?

Kukho izizathu ezininzi zokuba ukusela utywala kwabantwana abangaphantsi kweminyaka yobudala kuyingxaki enkulu yempilo. Enyanisweni, izibalo zibonisa ukuba kwilizwe elifana neMelika, malunga ne-4,000 yabantu abaselula abangaphantsi kweminyaka engama-21 ubudala bayafa minyaka le ngenxa yokusela utywala ngokugqithisileyo. Hayi indlela okubuhlungu ngayo, akunjalo?

Akupheleli apho, ingqondo yomntwana ayikhuli ngokupheleleyo de abe neminyaka engama-25 ubudala. Kwangaxeshanye, ingqondo yomntwana inobuthathaka kakhulu. Uphando lubonise ukuba ukusela utywala ngeli xesha kunokubangela umonakalo wexesha elide, mhlawumbi ongapheliyo, engqondweni. Khawucinge ngendlela oku okunokuchaphazela ngayo ikamva lomntwana.

Abantwana abancinci abasela utywala besebancinci banokujamelana nezinye iingxaki ezininzi, ezinje ngezi:

• Kukho umngcipheko okhulayo weengxaki zokusebenzisa utywala, ukutyhefwa kotywala , kunye nezinye iingxaki zokusebenzisa iziyobisi kunye nokusetyenziswa kweziyobisi.
• Iingxaki zomthetho zingavela. Umzekelo, ungabanjwa ngenxa yokuqhuba unxilile okanye ngokunxila kwiindawo zikawonke-wonke.
• Imfundo yesikolo inokuphazamiseka. Amanqaku angase ehle, iiklasi zincitshiswe, njl.
• Ubudlelwane nabantu bunokuba yingxaki. Kuba nzima ukugcina ubudlelwane nabahlobo, kwaye kuvela iingxaki kumalungu osapho.
• Ungenza ucansi olungacwangciswanga, olungakhuselekanga, olunokukhokelela ekukhulelweni okungafunekiyo okanye kwizifo ezidluliselwa ngesondo (ii-STI) .
• Basenokusebenzisa indlela yokuziphatha enobundlobongela (kubo okanye kwabanye), kuquka ukuxhatshazwa ngokwasemzimbeni nangokwesondo.

Ukujonga ezi ziphumo, mhlawumbi uyaqonda ukuba kubaluleke kangakanani ukusela utywala uselula.

Kutheni abantwana bethu besiya etywaleni besebancinci?

Akukho sizathu sinye sokuba abantwana nabantu abaselula bahendeke ekuseleni utywala besebancinci, kodwa zininzi izizathu. Ngamanye amaxesha, asiso sizathu sinye, kodwa yindibaniselwano yezizathu ezininzi ezikhokelela umntwana kuloo ndlela. Makhe sibone ukuba zeziphi:

• Ukufuna ukwazi: Ulutsha oluninzi luzama utywala ngenxa yokufuna ukwazi, "Injani le nto?" Ngenxa yokufuna ukwazi, ngaphandle
• Iziphumo ezilindelekileyo: Abanye abantu abaselula basela utywala kuba beva ukuba buyabaphumza kwaye buyanciphisa uxinzelelo. Bahlala kwiingcamango ezingalunganga ezifana nokuthi "ukusela kukwenza ulibale iingxaki zakho."
• Impembelelo yosapho: Indlela intsapho ejonga ngayo utywala – nokuba bulungile okanye abulunganga – inokuchaphazela isigqibo somntu oselula sokusela. Ukuba abantu abadala kusapho basela utywala rhoqo, umntwana unokukubona njengento eqhelekileyo oko.
• Ukungazi ngeengozi nemiphumo: Ulutsha oluninzi luyazama ukusebenzisa utywala kuba aluqondi ngokupheleleyo ngemiphumo emibi enokubakho, oko kukuthi, iingozi zalo. Bacinga ukuba, "Ukusela kancinci akuyi kwenzakalisa nto."
• Uxinzelelo loontanga: Le yinto enempembelelo enkulu. Abanye abantu abaselula basela utywala ukuze bafumane imvume kubahlobo babo, okanye kuba besoyika ukugwetywa. Uxinzelelo oluvela kusapho nakwimidiya (i-intanethi, iimuvi, iTV) nazo zinokudlala indima. Khawuthelekelele, xa iqela labahlobo libuza ethekweni, "Ngaba nguwe wedwa ongaseliyo?", abanye abantwana bakufumanisa kunzima ukumelana nalo.

Ndingayazi njani ukuba umntwana wam usela utywala?

Ngamanye amaxesha, kunokuba nzima ukufumanisa ukuba umntwana wakho usela utywala ngenxa yendlela yakhe eqhelekileyo yokuziphatha, njengoko iimpawu zokusela utywala kwabantwana abancinci , njengokulala kakhulu, umsindo oqhelekileyo, kunye neengxaki zomzimba, zinokuba yinto eqhelekileyo nakubantwana abancinci.

Nangona kunjalo, ukuba umntwana wakho ubonisa ezinye zezi mpawu zesilumkiso ngaxeshanye, okanye ukuba iimpawu zibonakala zinzima kancinci, usenokuba nesizathu sokuba ukhathazeke ngakumbi. Ezi mpawu zesilumkiso zezi:

• Ukunciphisa inkxalabo ngenkangeleko yomntu kunye nokucoceka kwakhe.
• Utshintsho kumaqela abahlobo bakho, ingakumbi abahlobo abatsha ongafuni ukubazisa kuwe.
• Ndiziva ndidiniwe kwaye ndidiniwe ngalo lonke ixesha.
• Ukufumana utywala phakathi kwezinto zomntwana, okanye kwiindawo ezifihlakeleyo ezingaqhelekanga. Ukuziva ngathi utywala endlwini buyaphela.
• Ukubonakalisa iimpawu ezifana neze-hangover emva kokusela utywala, ezinje ngentloko ebuhlungu, isicaphucaphu, kunye namehlo abomvu .
• Ubunzima bokugxila nokukhumbula izinto.
• Ukungakwazi ukulawula umzimba wakho, ukungakwazi ukuthetha kakuhle xa uthetha.
• Utshintsho olukhulu lweemvakalelo, ingakumbi ukucaphuka, ukucaphuka, kunye nokuzikhusela.
• Ukulahlekelwa ngumdla kwizinto obukade uzonwabela.
• Iingxaki ezinxulumene nomsebenzi wesikolo. Njengokuphosa amanqaku, ukutsiba iiklasi.
• Ivumba lotywala emlonyeni, okanye ukuzama ukufihla ivumba.

Ndingamthintela njani umntwana wam ekuseleni utywala emncinci?

Ukusela utywala kwabantwana abangaphantsi kweminyaka yobudala akuthintelwa ngokupheleleyo. Kodwa ukuthetha nomntwana wakho ngako kunokwenza umahluko omkhulu. Kwaye okukhona uqala le ncoko ngokukhawuleza, kokukhona kungcono. Uphando luka-2023 lubonise ukuba mnye kuphela kubantwana abali-100 abaneminyaka eli-12 ukuya kweli-13 ubudala okhe wazama utywala kwinyanga ephelileyo. Nangona kunjalo, xa sijonga abantu abaselula abaneminyaka eli-16 ukuya kweli-17, elo nani liye landa laya kutsho komnye kwabasixhenxe.

Xa uthetha nomntwana wakho ngokusela utywala kwabantwana abancinci, kungcono ukuxelela la manqaku:

• Ukuqonda: Ukuba umntwana wakho ucinga ukuba unika ingqalelo kwindlela aziphethe ngayo kwaye uza kubhaqwa ukuba wenza into engalunganga, amathuba okuba azame utywala mancinci. Mxelele ukuba uyamthanda ngokwaneleyo ukuba ajonge indlela aziphethe ngayo enobungozi.
• Ulindelo olucacileyo: Mcacisele umntwana wakho ukuba awuvumelani nokusela utywala kwabantwana abangaphantsi kweminyaka yobudala. Kwakhona, thetha naye ngemiphumo aza kujongana nayo ukuba usela utywala kwabantwana abangaphantsi kweminyaka yobudala.
• Indlela yokufunda ngakumbi: Ulutsha luhlala lufunda ngotywala kubahlobo, kwimidiya, okanye kwezinye iindawo ezinolwazi olungeyonyani. Bafundise indlela yokufumana nokusebenzisa imithombo ethembekileyo. Yabelana ngolwazi lokwenyani nabo malunga neengozi zotywala.
• Ukuthembana: Umntwana wakho kufuneka azi ukuba uyamthemba kwaye uza kwenza izigqibo ezifanelekileyo. Yenzani isicwangciso kunye malunga nokuhlala engaselanga tywala. Umzekelo, ukuba umntwana wakho ufuna uncedo lokufika ekhaya evela kwitheko, ungakhetha igama eliyimfihlo lokumthumelela umyalezo.
• Isizathu sokwenza oku: Yazisa umntwana wakho ukuba uyawukhathalela ukhuseleko lwakhe. Njengomzali, awufuni ukuba umntwana wakho angene engxakini. Oko kuquka ukumchanaba kwimiphumo eyingozi neyingozi yokusela utywala engaphantsi kweminyaka yobudala.

Kuxhaphake kangakanani ukusela utywala kwabantwana abangaphantsi kweminyaka yobudala?

Ukusela utywala kwabantwana abangaphantsi kweminyaka yobudala yingxaki enkulu yempilo yoluntu. Njengoko abaphandi befumanise ngo-2023 (nceda uqaphele ukuba le yidatha yaseMelika):

• Umntu omnye kwabasixhenxe abaphakathi kweminyaka eli-12 nengama-20 ubudala ukhe wasela utywala ubuncinane kanye kwiintsuku ezingama-30 ezidlulileyo.
• Umntu omnye kwabalishumi elinesibini usele kakhulu (oko kuthetha ukusela iziselo ezintlanu okanye ngaphezulu ngokulandelelana kwinkwenkwe, ezine okanye ngaphezulu kwintombazana).
• Amantombazana anamathuba amancinci okusela utywala eselula aze asele kakhulu.

Kwakhona, njengoko i-US Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) ibika:

• Malunga nomntu omnye kwabathandathu ukhe wahamba ngemoto enomqhubi obesele utywala.
• Kuye kwaxelwa ukuba malunga nomfundi omnye kwabangama-20 kwi-A/L ukhe waqhuba imoto emva kokusela utywala.

Olu lwazi lubonisa indlela enzulu ngayo le ngxaki. Nangona imeko kwilizwe lethu isenokungafani, umngcipheko ukho kuyo yonke indawo.

Ndingenza ntoni xa ndicinga ukuba umntwana wam usela utywala?

Ukuba ukrokrela okanye uqinisekisa ukuba umntwana wakho usela utywala, musa ukoyika ekuqaleni. Kuqhelekile ukuba lusizi kwaye ukhathazeke. Nangona kunjalo, iingcali zicebisa ukuba nibe nencoko ezolileyo nengasongeliyo nomntwana wakho. Nazi ezinye izinto onokuzenza ukunceda:

• Buza imibuzo evulelekileyo: Oku kuthetha ukubuza imibuzo engenakuphindwa ngo-"ewe/hayi" nje. Umzekelo, babuze ukuba bacinga ntoni ngotywala, indlela abahlobo babo abathetha ngayo ngalo, njl.
• Bavumele bakubuze imibuzo, baze baphendule ngokunyaniseka: Ukuthetha ngokunyanisekileyo nangokukhululekileyo ngamava akho (ngotywala) kunokuba nzima kancinci. Nangona kunjalo, loo nyaniso iya kukunceda wakhe ulwalamano oluqinileyo nokuqondana nomntwana wakho.
• Yenza izinto ozilindeleyo zicace: Musa ukucinga ukuba umntwana wakho uyazi into oyilindeleyo kuye okanye indlela oza kuphendula ngayo. Mxelele kanye into oyilindeleyo kuye.
• Beka imida: Kungumbono olungileyo ukubandakanya umntwana wakho kule nto. Ukumnceda azibekele imida yakhe kubonisa ukuba uyamhlonipha kwaye uyamthemba.

Ukuba kuyimfuneko, ugqirha womntwana wakho unokuba luncedo kule nkalo. Angathetha nomntwana wakho ngakumbi malunga notywala kunye neengozi zalo. Angacebisa nonyango, olufana nokunika iingcebiso okanye unyango lokubuyisela umntwana kwimeko yesiqhelo, ukuba umntwana wakho ufuna inkxaso engaphezulu ngotywala.

Okokugqibela, izinto ekufuneka uzikhumbule

Umntwana wakho sele ekhula ngokukhawuleza, kwaye ingcinga yokuba asele utywala ngaphambi kokuba afikelele kwiminyaka efanelekileyo inokuba yingxaki kakhulu. Ukuthetha nomntwana wakho ngokusela utywala kwabantwana abancinci – ingakumbi ngaphambi kokuba aqale – kunokuvakala kunzima kancinci. Kodwa amazwi akho anamandla ngaphezu kokuba ucinga.

Ukuba unesizathu sokukholelwa ukuba umntwana wakho uqala ukusela utywala esemncinci, akukabi lixesha lokuba uthethe naye kwaye umncede. Ukuba ufuna inkxaso engaphezulu, thetha nogqirha wakhe. Angakunika isikhokelo kunye neengcebiso malunga nento onokuyenza ukunceda umntwana wakho. Khumbula, awuwedwa, kwaye ungaze ungathandabuzi ukucela uncedo kolu hambo.

Ukusela utywala kwabantwana abangaphantsi kweminyaka yobudala, ukusetyenziswa kotywala kulutsha, abantwana notywala, imiphumo yotywala, ukuxhomekeka kutywala, utywala kulutsha, iingcebiso zokuba ngumzali