Ngaba umhlobo wakho ulahlekelwe lilungu losapho? Ngaba singathetha ngale ntlungu?

Khawucinge ukuba ilungu losapho elisondeleyo lomhlobo wakho osenyongweni, mhlawumbi umakhulu, utatomkhulu, okanye umntu osondeleyo kuye, uswelekile. Yinto ebuhlungu kakhulu nebuhlungu, akunjalo? Umhlobo wakho umele ukuba wayengenakunceda, wothukile, kwaye enesizungu ngelo xesha. Umele ukuba wacinga izihlandlo eziliwaka, "Owu, ndingamnceda njani ngeli xesha? Ndingenza ntoni ukuze ndithomalalise intlungu yakhe?" Leyo yingcinga ebaluleke kakhulu. Ngoko ke, namhlanje, masithethe ngento onokuyenza ukuze womelele kumhlobo wakho kwaye uzise intuthuzelo encinci entliziyweni yakhe ngexesha elinzima kangaka.

Yintoni kanye kanye le ntlungu?

Ngamafutshane, intlungu yintlungu esivayo xa silahlekelwa ngumntu esimthandayo. Ifana nomthwalo omkhulu ezintliziyweni zethu. Asinguye wonke umntu oziva lo mthwalo ngendlela efanayo. Indlela umntu ngamnye ahlangabezana ngayo nale ntlungu aze aphendule kuyo yahlukile kakhulu.

Khawuthelekelele ukuba umama womhlobo wakho uSameera uswelekile. USameera usenokukhala kakhulu, usenokuvakalisa intlungu yakhe ukuze wonke umntu ayibone. Kodwa, omnye umhlobo, masithi igama lakhe nguNetmi, usenokuthula kakhulu xa uyise eswelekile. Usenokuzama ukuba yedwa, angathethi namntu kakhulu. Abanye abantwana bayayeka ukudlala nokonwaba okwethutyana ngamaxesha anje. Baphelelwa ngumdla kuzo zonke ezo zinto. Nangona kunjalo, kukho abanye abantwana abazama ukubuyela kubomi babo besiqhelo ngokukhawuleza. Banomdla wokuya esikolweni, ukudlala nabahlobo, nokwenza eminye imisebenzi. Akukho nto ilungileyo okanye ingalunganga kuzo zonke ezi ndlela. Kuba wonke umntu unendlela yakhe yokujongana nentlungu.

Eyona nto ibalulekileyo kukuba intlungu ayisosifo. Yindlela eqhelekileyo yokusabela xa ulahlekelwe ngumntu esimthandayo. Ifuna ixesha ukuze iphile.

Abanye abantwana bathanda ukuthetha ngeemvakalelo zabo. Abanye abakwenzi oko. Abanye banokubonakalisa intlungu yabo ngokuzoba okanye ngokufaka imibala. Kwakhona, abantu abaninzi bathanda ukuchitha ixesha elingakumbi neentsapho zabo ngexesha elinje, befumana uthando nentuthuzelo kubo. Amalungu osapho kufuneka ancedane, abe nobubele omnye komnye. Ukuthetha ngeenkumbulo ezilungileyo zomntu abamlahlekeleyo kunye namaxesha amnandi abawachithe nabo kunokuba luncedo olukhulu. Zonke ezi zinto zinceda ekunciphiseni intlungu.

Ungamnceda njani umhlobo osentlungwini yakhe?

Xa umhlobo wakho ekule ntlungu, eyona nto ingcono onokuyenza kukuba ube lapho ngenxa yakhe njengomhlobo olungileyo. Usenokungakwazi ukumenza azive ngcono okanye ukumenza onwabe ngoko nangoko, kodwa kulungile. Ungamvumela ukuba azive iimvakalelo zakhe.

1. Yiba lapho nje, yinto enkulu leyo!

Ungathetha naye ubuze, "Singahamba siye kuhamba?" "Singadlala umdlalo?" okanye "Singahlala kunye okwethutyana?" Mvumele enze into ayifunayo. Ukuba naye nje ngumthombo wamandla amakhulu, ngumthombo wamandla amakhulu. Akunyanzelekanga ukuba uthethe nantoni na ekhethekileyo, ubukho bakho kwanele.

2. Musa ukuzinyanzela ukuba "uphile kakuhle."

Xa umhlobo wakho edakumbile, ukuzama ukumkhuthaza ngokuthi, "Nceda ungakhali," "Ungabi buhlungu," okanye "Kufuneka ube namandla" kuya kumenzakalisa ngakumbi. Kuqhelekile ukuba azive edakumbile aze akhale. Mvumele akhuphe ezo mvakalelo.

3. Banike ithuba lokuthetha (kodwa ungabanyanzeli)

Usenokuziva usoyika okanye uneentloni ukuthetha ngale nto. Kodwa ukuthetha into efana nokuthi, "Ndiyaxolisa kakhulu ngokusweleka kukamakhulu wakho" kuya kumenza azi ukuba uyayiqonda intlungu yakhe. Oko kusenokumnceda aqalise ukuthetha nawe ngento ayicingayo.

Indlela enobubele kakhulu kukuthi: " Ukuba ufuna ukuthetha ngale nto, ndiza kumamela. "

Kodwa, ukuba umhlobo wakho akafuni ukuthetha ngaloo nto ngelo xesha, mxelele. Musa ukumnyanzela. Mxelele nje ukuba ukhona nanini na xa ekudinga.

4. Nceda wabelane ngeenkumbulo ezimnandi

Ukuba umhlobo wakho uqala ukuthetha ngomntu alahlekelwe nguye, thetha ngamaxesha amnandi enawachitha kunye, amabali ahlekisayo, kunye neenkumbulo ezimnandi. Oku kunokumenza azive onwabile kancinci kwaye ekhululekile. Ngamanye amaxesha, xa umhlobo wakho ekhala, nawe ungalila kuba awukwazi ukuzibamba intlungu yakho. Akukho nto imbi ngokulila nomhlobo onjalo. Kuya kubenza ubuhlobo benu buqine.

5. Yiba nomonde, zinike ixesha lokutshintsha.

Musa ukulindela ukuba umhlobo wakho onwabe aze adlale njengangaphambili. Akuyi kwenzeka ngobusuku obunye. Njengoko bedlula kwinkqubo yosizi, ngezinye iintsuku abayi kuziva befuna ukudlala okanye ukonwaba njengangaphambili. Kodwa, ngosuku olulandelayo baya kuhleka baze badlale njengangaphambili. Yonke imihla inokwahluka. Ngoko ke yiba nomonde.

6. Izinto ekufuneka silumke singazithethi

Ngamanye amaxesha, izinto esizithethayo singaziqondi zinokumenzakalisa ngakumbi umhlobo wethu. Umzekelo:

• "Musa ukulila, ungumfana/intombazana." (Iimvakalelo azinazo isini.)
• "Yonke into iza kulunga ngexesha elifanelekileyo." (Nangona oku kuyinyani, akuzisi nduduzo ingako okwangoku.)
• "Ukwindawo engcono ngoku." (Oku kusenokungavakali ngendlela efanayo kubo bonke abantu, kwaye abanye basenokukhubeka kuko.)
• "Ndiyayiqonda indlela oziva ngayo." (Asinakuyiqonda intlungu yomnye umntu ngamaxesha onke, ngoko ke kungcono ukuthi into efana nale, "Ndingacinga ukuba kunzima kangakanani kuwe.")
• Ukuthetha ngamava akho kuphela. ("Oku kwenzeka xa utatomkhulu wam wasweleka..." uze ufunde ngawe endaweni yokumamela umhlobo wakho.)

Endaweni yokuthetha izinto ezinje, kubaluleke kakhulu ukumphulaphula nokuzama ukumqonda.

Kunini apho kufuneka silumke ngakumbi khona?

Ngokwesiqhelo, intlungu iyaphela kancinci kancinci ngokuhamba kwexesha. Nangona kunjalo, nasemva kwexesha elide,(Oku kungathatha iiveki okanye iinyanga, kuyahluka kumntu nomntu.) Ukuba umhlobo wakho akabonakali ebuyela kwisimo sakhe sakudala, akakwazi ukwenza imisebenzi yakhe yesiqhelo, kwaye uhlala edakumbile kwaye exhalabile, ngoko ke kufuneka ukhathazeke kancinci.

Umzekelo:

• Ukuba awunamdla kwinto ethile njengoko wawunjalo ngaphambili.
• Ukuba izinto ezifana nomsebenzi wesikolo nokudlala beziyeke ngokupheleleyo.
• Ukuba ukutya nokulala kuye kwehla okanye kwanda kakhulu.
• Ukuba uhlala uzama ukuba wedwa kwaye ungathethi namntu.
• Ukuba uthetha ngezinto ezinje ngokuzenzakalisa.

Ukuba ubona into efana nale, xelela abazali bakho, utitshala, okanye umcebisi wesikolo ngayo. Oku akukokungcatsha, kodwa yindlela yokwazisa umntu omdala ukuba umntwana wakho udinga uncedo. Banokubonelela ngenkxaso abayidingayo, mhlawumbi noncedo lweengcali.

Nawe ungafunda okungakumbi ngentlungu.

Ukubona umhlobo wakho edlula kwixesha elinzima, ungafuna nokufunda okungakumbi ngentlungu. Yinto entle leyo. Ungabuza abantu abadala ebomini bakho (abazali, ootatomkhulu noomakhulu, ootitshala) ukuba bazive njani xa belahlekelwe ngumntu abamthandayo, indlela abadlule ngayo kuyo, kunye nokuba yintoni eyabancedayo. Loo mava aya kukufundisa nezifundo ezibalulekileyo.

Okokugqibela, izinto ekufuneka uzikhumbule

Ngoko ke, ukushwankathela oko unokukwenza xa umhlobo wakho eziva elusizi ngolu hlobo:

• Hlala usondelelene nabahlobo bakho. Ubukho bakho bungumthombo omkhulu wamandla kubo.
• Mamela ngononophelo. Ukuba bafuna ukuthetha, phulaphula ngaphandle kokuphazanyiswa.
• Yiba nobubele, ube nomonde, kwaye uzame ukuqonda iimvakalelo zabo.
• Musa ukubanyanzela. Musa ukubanyanzela ukuba bonwabe okanye bathethe.
• Bameme ukuba benze izinto eziqhelekileyo, kodwa bavumele benze into abayifunayo.
• Bancede babelane ngeenkumbulo ezintle zomntu abamlahlekeleyo, ukuba bazimisele.
• Ukuba uziva uxhalabile, xelela umntu omdala omthembileyo.

Khumbula, ubuhlobo bakho lolona nyango lukhulu nentuthuzelo aza kuyifumana ngeli xesha. Nokuba uncedo oluncinci oluvela kuwe luya kuba namandla amakhulu kuye ukuze akwazi ukudlula kweli xesha linzima.

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