Ngaba uziva unzima ngexesha lokukhulelwa? Masithethe ngale nto! (Impilo Yengqondo Ngexesha Lokukhulelwa)

Ukukhulelwa lixesha leemvakalelo ezixubeneyo, akunjalo? Akufani nokuba kufuneka wonwabe ngalo lonke ixesha. Ukuba uziva uxinezelekile okanye uxhalabile ngamanye amaxesha, akumangalisi, kwaye awuwedwa. Kuqhelekile ukuba abantu abaninzi babe nezi mvakalelo, ingakumbi xa ungumama wokuqala okanye ukhulelwe ngendlela engacwangciswanga. Ukuba ukhe waba nembali yokudakumba okanye ukuxhalaba, oku kunokuba nzima nangakumbi. Kubalulekile ukuzinyamekela ngenxa yempilo yakho nomntwana wakho. Oko kuthetha ukutya kakuhle, ukuzilolonga, ukulala ngokwaneleyo, kunye nokusela iivithamini zakho zokukhulelwa. Ukuba uziva uxinezelekile, ulusizi, okanye uxhalabile, thetha nomntu ngayo loo nto—kwaye wazi ukuba uza kufuna uncedo nini.

Ziziphi iimvakalelo ezinokuvela ngexesha lokukhulelwa?

Kuqhelekile ukuba neemvakalelo ezitshintshatshintshayo ngexesha lokukhulelwa. Oku kuthetha ukuba ungaziva wonwabile ngomzuzu omnye uze uzive ulusizi ngomzuzu olandelayo. Kodwa ukuba uhlala uziva uphantsi, uxhalabile, okanye ungenamdla kwizinto, oko kungaba luphawu lwento enzulu. Uxinzelelo lokukhulelwa, utshintsho oludlula emzimbeni wakho, kunye noxinzelelo lobomi bemihla ngemihla zonke ezi zinto zinokuchaphazela iimvakalelo zakho.

Singathetha ngale ngxaki yokudakumba nokuxhalaba?

Ngoku makhe sijonge ukuba yintoni ukudakumba . Ngamafutshane, kuxa uziva ulusizi, udandathekile, okanye unomsindo nje kangangeeveki, mhlawumbi iinyanga. Abanye abantu banale meko ngaphambi kokuba bakhulelwe. Kodwa ngamanye amaxesha inokuqala ngexesha lokukhulelwa. Umzekelo, ukuba awonwabanga kukuba ukhulelwe, okanye ukuba uphila noxinzelelo olukhulu ekhaya okanye emsebenzini, le meko inokubakho. Khawucinge nje, xa uNimali wayesele eza kuba nomntwana wakhe wokuqala, wayeneengxaki ezininzi emsebenzini, kwaye umyeni wakhe wayesebenza kude. Wayeziva elusizi kwaye enesizungu ngalo lonke ixesha. Lolo luhlobo olunye lokudakumba oluza ngexesha lokukhulelwa.

Okulandelayo yiNgxaki . Kulapho uhlala uxhalabile kwaye uxhalabile ngezinto ezinokwenzeka – mhlawumbi nezinto ezinokwenzeka zingaze zenzeke. Ukuba uhlala ungumntu oxhalabela izinto ezincinci, oku kunokuba nzima nangakumbi ngexesha lokukhulelwa. Usenokuba uxhalabile ngezinto ezinje 'Ngaba ndiza kuba ngumama olungileyo?', 'Ngaba ndiza kukwazi ukuncancisa umntwana wam?', 'Ngaba ndiza kuba nemali yokukhulisa umntwana wam?' Xa ezi ngcinga ziqhubeka ziphakama, zinokuchaphazela imisebenzi yakho yemihla ngemihla.

Ngaphandle koku, zeziphi ezinye iingxaki zempilo yengqondo ezinokuvela?

Ngaphandle koxinzelelo kunye nokuxhalaba, ezinye iingxaki zempilo yengqondo zinokuvela ngeli xesha. Makhe sijonge ukuba zeziphi:

• Ukuxhuzula:Oku kubonakala ngamaxesha okutshintshana koxinzelelo lwamandla aphantsi, kulandele amaxesha oxinzelelo lwamandla aphezulu, olubonakala ngokwanda ngequbuliso kwamandla kunye nomsebenzi.
• Ingxaki Yoxinzelelo Emva Kwesiganeko Esibuhlungu (PTSD): Esi sisifo sengqondo esinokuthi sivele emva kokufumana isiganeko esibuhlungu kakhulu (umz., ingozi enkulu, ukuhlaselwa ngokwesondo). Sinokubonakaliswa ngokubuyela umva kwisiganeko, ukuba namaphupha amabi ngaso, nokuphepha izinto ezikukhumbuza ngesiganeko.
• Uhlaselo Loloyiko: Ezi ziimvakalelo zoloyiko ezingxamisekileyo nezinamandla, ezifana nokungcangcazela, ukuphefumla kancinci, ukubetha kwentliziyo ngokukhawuleza, ukubila, isiyezi, kunye nokoyika ukufa, ngaphandle kwesizathu esicacileyo. Ezi zihlala zifikelela kwincopho emva kwemizuzu embalwa zize ziphele emva kwexesha elithile.
• Ingxaki Yokuxhalaba Ngokugqithisileyo (OCD): Le yimeko apho iingcinga ezingafunwayo nezingenakulawuleka (obsessions) zenzeka engqondweni, nto leyo ekhokelela ekubeni kufuneke ukuphinda izinto ezithile (compulsions) ukuze unciphise uxinzelelo. Umzekelo, ukuhlamba izandla zakho rhoqo kuba uhlala ucinga ngeentsholongwane, okanye ukujonga rhoqo ukuba ucango lutshixiwe na.
• Iingxaki zokutya: Umzekelo, iimeko ezifana nokutya kakhulu uze uhlanze (i-Bulimia Nervosa), ukunciphisa ukutya kunye nokunciphisa umzimba, kunye nokungatyi ngenxa yokoyika ukutyeba (i-Anorexia Nervosa). Ezi ziyingozi kakhulu kumama nakumntwana ngexesha lokukhulelwa.

Eyona nto ibalulekileyo kukuba ukuba unengxaki yempilo yengqondo efana nale ngexesha lokukhulelwa , kubalulekile ukufumana unyango olufanelekileyo . Kuba, umntu onengxaki yokudakumba, ixhala, okanye ezinye iingxaki ezinjalo usenokungakwazi ukwenza izinto ezifana nokufumana unyango aludingayo, ukuya kwiikliniki, nokutya ukutya okunesondlo ngokufanelekileyo. Ke ngoko, ukuba uziva ungakhululekanga ngolu hlobo, ngokuqinisekileyo thetha nogqirha wakho . Ngale ndlela, unokufumana uncedo oludingayo ngexesha lokukhulelwa nasemva kokubeleka.

Ndingalufumana njani uncedo?

Ukuba uziva uxinezelekile, uxhalabile, okanye uneengxaki zempilo yengqondo ezikhankanyiweyo apha ngasentla, nceda uthethe nogqirha, umcebisi, okanye ingcali yezonyango ngayo loo nto . Okukhona ufuna uncedo ngokukhawuleza kwaye uqale unyango, kokukhona uya kuqala ukuziva ungcono ngokukhawuleza. Musa ukoyika okanye ube neentloni. Oku akuyonto eyenzeka kuwe wedwa.

Kubalulekile ukuxelela ugqirha wakho ngempilo yakho ngokubanzi kunye nazo naziphi na iingxaki zempilo yengqondo oye waba nazo ngaphambili (umz., ukuba ubusebenzisa amayeza okanye ukhe wabhedlele esibhedlele). Kuyanceda ugqirha wakho ukuba azi imbali yakho epheleleyo yezonyango ukuba kukho naziphi na iingxaki eziphakamayo ngexesha lokukhulelwa okanye emva kokubeleka.

Ziphathwa njani ezi ngxaki zempilo yengqondo?

Kukho iindlela ezahlukeneyo zonyango lweengxaki zempilo yengqondo ezifana nale. Ugqirha wakho uya kumisela unyango olufanelekileyo ngokusekelwe kwimeko yakho. Makhe sijonge ukuba zeziphi.

Amayeza kagqirha

Ngamanye amaxesha oogqirha banokukunika amayeza . Kodwa kubaluleke kakhulu ukuba ungaqali okanye uyeke ukuthatha naliphi na iyeza ngexesha lokukhulelwa ngaphandle kokubonisana nogqirha wakho. Ukuba uthatha amayeza ngenxa yengxaki yengqondo kwaye ukhulelwe okanye uceba ukukhulelwa, qiniseka ukuba uxelele ugqirha wakho. Musa ukuyeka ukuthatha amayeza de ugqirha wakho akuxelele ukuba wenjenjalo. Amanye amayeza akhuselekile kumntwana wakho kunamanye. Amanye amayeza asenokungafaneleki ngexesha lokukhulelwa. Ugqirha wakho uya kusebenzisana nawe ukwenza isicwangciso sonyango esilungele wena nomntwana wakho.

Unyango lokuthetha

Unyango lokuthetha lukwayindlela ephumelele kakhulu.

• Ukuthetha nogqirha wengqondo okanye umcebisi wedwa kunokuba yindlela entle yokulawula uxinzelelo lwakho, ukujongana nokudakumba, kunye nokunciphisa ixhala. Banokukunceda uqonde iimvakalelo zakho kunye nendlela yokujongana nazo.
• Kwakhona, ukujoyina iqela lenkxaso nabanye oomama abajongene nemeko efanayo nawe nokwabelana ngamava akho kunokuba luncedo. Kwakhona kuyanceda ukwazi ukuba andingom ndedwa ojongene nale meko.
• Mhlawumbi uneengxaki zemali, uloyiko lokuba nomntwana, okanye iingxaki zosapho, ukuthetha nonontlalontle okanye umcebisi kunokukunceda ujongane noxinzelelo ebomini bakho.

Ezinye iindlela zokunciphisa iintlungu

Ukongeza kwezi ndlela zonyango, kukho nezinye izinto onokuzenza ukuze uzive ungcono.

• Ukuziqhelanisa neyoga, ukuzilolonga kancinci, kunye nokucamngca kunokukunceda uzive ungcono ngokwengqondo nangokomzimba. Nangona kunjalo, kungcono ukufuna iingcebiso zonyango ngaphambi kokuba uqale umthambo omtsha.
• Xa uziva uxinezelekile okanye uxinezelekile, ukuthetha nomhlobo othembekileyo, ilungu losapho (umz., umama wakho, udadewenu, umyeni wakho), okanye inkokheli yonqulo oyithembileyo kunokukunceda uzive ukhululekile. Ngamanye amaxesha, ukwabelana nje ngeemvakalelo zakho nomnye umntu kunokukunceda uzive ukhululekile.
• Phumla ngokwaneleyo. Uxolo, eli ligama lesiTamil. Ukuchaneka, phumla ngokwaneleyo. Ukulala kakuhle ebusuku, kuquka nokulala kancinci emini, kulungile engqondweni nasemzimbeni wakho.
• Zibandakanye nezinto ozithandayo nezikuzisela uvuyo. Nokuba yinto encinci njengokufunda incwadi, ukumamela ingoma, okanye ukuzoba inokuzisela uvuyo entliziyweni yakho.

Eyona nto ibalulekileyo ekufuneka uyiqwalasele

Oomama abaninzi baziva bexhalabile kwaye bedandathekile ngaxa lithile ngexesha lokukhulelwa. Abanye banokufuna nonyango ngenxa yoko. Kodwa khumbula, ingxaki yempilo yengqondo akufuneki ibe yinto enkulu kuwe okanye kumntwana wakho. Ukufumana uncedo olufunekayo ukuze uzive ungcono yeyona nto ilungileyo onokuyenza kuwe nakumntwana wakho. Musa ukoyika okanye ube neentloni zokufuna ingcebiso kagqirha. Hlala ukhumbula ukuba awuwedwa. Ulonwabo lwakho, impilo-ntle yakho yengqondo, kunye nempilo yomntwana wakho zonke zibalulekile.

Impilo yengqondo yokukhulelwa , ukudakumba ngexesha lokukhulelwa, ixhala ngexesha lokukhulelwa, umama okhulelweyo, uxinzelelo, ukuzala, impilo-ntle yengqondo