Ingabe ingane yakho encane iyalwa nemizwa? Ake sixoxe nge-Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT)!

Ingabe ingane yakho encane ithukuthela kalula ngezinto ezincane? Noma ingabe ikhala kakhulu lapho izizwa idabukile? Wake wazizwa sengathi inenkinga yokulawula imizwa yayo? Lokhu kungaba yinto enzima kakhulu kuyo nakuwe. Ngakho-ke namuhla sizokhuluma ngohlobo olukhethekile lokwelapha olungasiza ngezikhathi ezinjengalezi. `(Dialectical Behavior Therapy)` noma `(DBT)`.

Kuyini Ukwelashwa Kokuziphatha Okuphathelene Nokukhuluma (i-DBT)?

Kalula nje, i-Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) iyindlela yokweluleka ekhethekile esiza izingane ezincane ukubhekana nokuphatha imizwa yazo enzima, kanye nokuthuthukisa ubudlelwano bazo nabanye. Luhlobo lokwelapha olugxile ekuziphatheni. Lokhu kusho ukuthi ukuziphatha kwengane kanye nezindlela zokucabanga ziyashintsha, futhi ingane ifundiswa amakhono adingekayo ukuze ibhekane nezimo ezinzima nezinkinga empilweni.

Cabanga ngakho, izimpilo zethu zifana ne-roller coaster. Ngezinye izikhathi siya phezulu naphansi. Kufanele siphile nemizwa eminingi ehambisana nalezi zimo ezikhuphukayo neziphansi. Lawa makhono esiwathola ku-'(DBT)' afana nezikhali ezandleni zethu. Lawa makhono asisiza ukuba sibhekane nezinselele nobuhlungu obufika empilweni, futhi singalahleki kuleyo mizwa.

Igama elithi "dialectic" lisho ukudala ibhalansi phakathi kwezinto ezimbili ezibonakala ziphikisana. Kulolu hlobo lokwelapha, lezo zinto ezimbili "Ukwamukela" kanye "Noshintsho." Okusho ukuthi, ngenkathi esiza ingane ukuqonda nokwamukela imizwa yayo kanye nokuhlangenwe nakho kwayo, uyayisiza futhi ukuba yenze izinguquko ezidingekayo ukuze iphume kuleso simo futhi iphile impilo engcono nejabulisayo. Lezi zinto ezimbili ziyahambisana.

Kwenzekani ngempela nge-`(DBT)`? Yimaphi amakhono ayinhloko ingane ewazuzayo?

Ukwelashwa kwe-DBT akusebenzi ngendlela efanayo kuwo wonke umuntu, ngoba wonke umntwana uhlukile. Kodwa ngokuvamile, lokhu kwelashwa kugxile ekuthuthukiseni amakhono amane abalulekile. Ake sibheke ukuthi ayini.

1. Ukucabanga

Lokhu kubaluleke kakhulu. Ukuqaphela kusho ukunaka ngokuphelele lokho okwenzayo ngaleso sikhathi, imicabango efika engqondweni yakho, imizwa onayo. Kusho, ngaphandle kokwahlulela, "O, ngizizwa ngale ndlela, lokhu akukuhle," kodwa ukukubona njengokuthi "O... Ngizizwa ngale ndlela manje, nginalo mcabango." Kufana nokuzibuka ngaphandle. Lokhu kukusiza ukulawula imizwa nemicabango yakho, kunokuba ulahleke kuyo.

Isibonelo, cabanga ukuthi ingane yakho ivele ithukuthele kakhulu. Uma uzijwayeza ukuqaphela, esikhundleni sokubalekela leyo ntukuthelo, ungabona izinto ezinjengokuthi, "Ngithukuthele njengamanje, inhliziyo yami ishaya ngokushesha, izandla zami ziyathuthumela." Lokhu kukusiza ukulawula impendulo yakho esheshayo kulowo mizwa.

2. Ukulawulwa Kwemizwa

Izingane zethu ezincane ngezinye izikhathi zingazizwa imizwa enamandla kakhulu njengokudabuka, intukuthelo, nokwesaba. Ngaleso sikhathi, azikwazi ukuyilawula. "Ukulawula Imizwa" kusho ukuzifundisa ukuqonda ukuthi iyini le mizwa enzima, ukuyiphendula ngendlela efanele, ukunciphisa ukuqina kwayo, nokwandisa imizwa emihle uma iphakama.

Kulokhu, umntwana ufunda:

• Thola ukuthi uzizwa kanjani ngempela.
• Qonda ukuthi yini eyabangela leyo mizwa.
• Izindlela zokunciphisa umthelela wemizwa emibi.
• Indlela yokwengeza okuhlangenwe nakho okuhle empilweni yakho.

Uma leli khono selithuthukisiwe, ingane iyakwazi ukulawula imizwa yayo esikhundleni sokudlala ngayo.

3. Ukubekezelela Ukucindezeleka

Impilo ayihlali iyindlela enhle. Ngezinye izikhathi kunezikhathi ezinzima nezibuhlungu ngendlela engenakucatshangwa. "Ukubekezelela Ukucindezeleka" kusho ukunika ingane amandla nezindlela ezidingekayo zokubekezelela izikhathi ezinzima nezicindezelayo, ukuze idlule kuzo ngaphandle kokuwohloka nokwenza isimo sibe sibi kakhulu.

Lokhu kufana nendawo ephephile yokuhlala lapho kufika isiphepho, kuze kube yilapho sidlula. Ngala makhono, ingane ifunda:

• Izindlela zokuzola ingqondo yakho ngokushesha.
• Ziphazamise ngezikhathi ezinzima.
• Izindlela Zokuzithulisa.
• Yamukela isimo samanje okwamanje.

Lokhu akusho ukuthi akufanele ufune ikhambi lenkinga. Kodwa ngezinye izikhathi, uma kungekho khambi elisheshayo, kubaluleke kakhulu ukuthwala leyo ngcindezi.

4. Ukusebenza Kahle Kokusebenzisana Nabantu

Njengabantu, asihlali sodwa. Kufanele sibhekane njalo nabanye abantu. Ikhono elithi "Interpersonal Effectiveness" lisifundisa indlela yokugcina ubudlelwano obuhle nabanye, indlela yokuveza izidingo zethu nemibono yethu ngokucacile nangokuqinile ngaphandle kokuba nolaka noma ukwehlisa isithunzi (Assertiveness), kanye nendlela yokuxazulula izingxabano ngokuhlakanipha lapho zivela.

Kulokhu, umntwana ufunda:

• Indlela yokucela lokho okufunayo.
• Indlela yokuthi "cha" ezicelweni ezingadingekile.
• Veza imibono yakho ngenkathi uhlonipha imibono yabanye.
• Vikela imingcele yakho ebudlelwaneni.

Uma la makhono ethuthukiswa, ingane izokwazi ukuba nobudlelwano obuphumelelayo kakhulu nabangani, umndeni kanye nothisha.

Nazi amakhono amane ayinhloko ingane ewazuzayo nge-DBT:

• Ukuqaphela: Ukwamukela okwenzekayo ngaleso sikhathi, imicabango efika engqondweni, kanye nemizwa oyizwayo, njengoba injalo, ngaphandle kokwahlulela.
• Ukulawulwa Kwemizwa: Ukuqonda nokusabela ngendlela efanele emizweni enzima.
• Ukubekezelela Ukucindezeleka: Ukufunda ukubhekana nokucindezeleka okukhulu ngaphandle kokuwohloka.
• Ukusebenza Kahle Kokusebenzisana: Ukuthuthukisa amakhono okubuza lokho okufunayo ngokucacile, ukugcina ubudlelwano obuhle, nokuxazulula izingxabano.

Ukwelashwa kwe-DBT kusiza bani?

Ukwelashwa kwe-DBT kuklanyelwe ngqo ukusiza izingane ezincane ezilwa nemizwa enamandla, ezinobunzima bokulawula imizwa yazo, ezinemicabango yokuzilimaza, noma ezenza ezinye izinto eziyingozi.

Imiqondo emibili eyinhloko ye-DBT ukunikeza ukwesekwa nokuqinisekiswa kwengane, nokufundisa amakhono okwenza izinguquko ezidingekayo ukuze iphile impilo ejabulisayo nenempilo. Okusho ukuthi, ngenkathi samukela ingane, sithi, "Ngiyaqonda ukuthi uzizwa ngale ndlela, kuyinto evamile," sibaqondisa ngokuthi, "Kodwa masenze lezi zinto ukuze siphume kulesi simo."

Ukwelashwa kwe-DBT kulethwa kanjani?

Amakhono e-DBT afundiswa ngezindlela eziningana eziyinhloko:

• Izikhathi Zokwelapha Zomuntu Ngamunye: Lapha, ingane kanye nodokotela bekhuluma bodwa, begxile ezinkingeni zomntwana kanye nemizwa yakhe, futhi bemsiza ukuba asebenzise amakhono e-DBT empilweni yansuku zonke.
• Izikhathi Zokwelapha Zemindeni Eminingi: Yilapho iqembu lezingane nabazali noma abanakekeli bazo behlangana khona. Wonke umuntu ufunda amakhono e-DBT ndawonye futhi afunde kokuhlangenwe nakho komunye nomunye. Lokhu kungenziwa endaweni ebonakalayo noma mathupha.
• Ukuqeqeshwa Ngocingo: Uma ingane noma umzali ebhekene nesikhathi esinzima phakathi kwezikhathi zokwelulekwa, angashayela ucingo umelaphi futhi athole usizo nesiqondiso sendlela yokusebenzisa amakhono e-DBT ngaleso sikhathi.

Wonke la makhono afundiswa ukusetshenziswa ekuphileni kwansuku zonke. Njengoba izingane zijwayela kancane kancane la makhono, zizothola ukulawula kangcono imizwa yazo, zithuthukise ubudlelwano bazo nabanye, futhi zithuthukise isimo sengqondo esihle ngokuphila.

Ngingayithola kanjani i-DBT therapy yengane yami encane?

Uma ingane yakho ilwa nemizwa enamandla futhi ucabanga ukuthi ingaphansi kokucindezeleka okukhulu, khuluma nodokotela womndeni wakho kuqala. Angakudlulisela kumhlinzeki wezempilo oqeqeshiwe oqeqeshwe ku-Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT). Ungabuza nangalezi zinsizakalo ngodokotela bezifo zengqondo nodokotela bezengqondo.

Kungathatha isikhathi eside ukusesha ukuze uthole izindawo ezinikeza i-DBT eSri Lanka, kodwa uma uzama, ngeke ukwazi ukuzithola. Ezinye izibhedlela ezizimele nezikhungo zokweluleka zingase zibe nalezi zikhungo.

Into ebaluleke kakhulu okufanele uyikhumbule (Umyalezo Wokuya Ekhaya)

Ukufundisa ingane yakho encane ukuba iqaphele, ilawule imizwa yayo, ibhekane nezinselele zokuphila, futhi izwane kahle nabanye kuzosiza kakhulu ekwenzeni umehluko omuhle empilweni yayo futhi kuyisize ibe umuntu olinganiselayo nojabulayo.

I-DBT ayiwona umlingo. Kuthatha isikhathi, ukuzinikela, kanye nokusekelwa yingane yakho. Kodwa imiphumela iyakufanelekela. Ingane yakho izofunda amakhono azohlala impilo yonke. Ngakho-ke, ungalilahli ithemba. Thola usizo oludingayo.

Khumbula, awuwedwa. Ingane yakho akuyona yodwa ebhekene nalezi zinselele. Ngesiqondiso nokusekelwa okufanele, unganqoba noma yisiphi isimo esinzima.

Intsha , Imizwa, Impilo Yengqondo, I-DBT, Ukwelulekwa, Ukwelashwa Kokuziphatha, eSri Lanka