Unomuzwa wokuthi indodakazi yakho eneminyaka emibili nengxenye ubudala ayikhulumi kahle njengodadewabo omdala ngaleso sikhathi, akunjalo? Njengoba kungenzeka wazi, izingane ezincane zifunda amakhono olimi—okungukuthi, indlela yokukhuluma nokuqonda—ngezikhathi ezahlukene nangesivinini esihlukile. Lokhu kuyiqiniso ngisho nakubantakwethu emndenini ofanayo. Ngakho-ke, njengomama noma ubaba, kunengqondo ngokuphelele ukuthi uzizwe ukwesaba noma ukungabaza okuncane. "Ingabe ingane yami ikhuluma ngendlela efanele ngokweminyaka yayo?" Lona umbuzo abazali abaningi abanawo. Ngakho-ke, ake sixoxe namuhla ngalokhu kubambezeleka kolimi. Ake sixoxe ngokucacile ngokuthi yini "evamile" yalesi sikhathi nokuthi kufanele sikhathazeke nini kancane.
Yini okufanele siyilindele enganeni eneminyaka emibili ubudala?
Manje ake sibheke ukuthi yini okufanele siyilindele kumntwana wakho mayelana nolimi—okungukuthi, ikhono lokukhuluma—ngesikhathi eseneminyaka emibili ubudala. Kodwa-ke, sicela ukhumbule ukuthi lezi ziyiziqondiso ezijwayelekile. Wonke umntwana uhlukile. Ezinye izingane zingase zibe phambili kancane noma ngemuva kwalezi zigaba ezibalulekile. Ezinye zingase zikhulume kusenesikhathi, ezinye kamuva kancane. Lokho kuvame ukuvamile. Kodwa-ke, ukunaka kancane la maphuzu kubaluleke kakhulu kuwe nakumntwana wakho.
- Ukuqala ukusebenzisa imishwana enamagama amabili: Kule minyaka, ungase ubone ingane yakho encane izama ukuhlanganisa amagama amabili ukuze yakhe imishwana emifushane, njengokuthi "Mama ilayisi," "Ufuna amanzi," "Nika ibhola," "Sala kahle uhambe," noma "Baby cha." Uma ingane yakho izama ukuveza lokho ekufunayo isebenzisa amagama amabili, ngisho noma kunzima, kuyisibonakaliso esihle sokuthuthukiswa kolimi lwayo. Ukuveza izidingo, okuthandwayo, nokungathandwa ngemishwana efana nokuthi "Ngicela okunye," "Cha lokho," noma "Ibhola lami" nalo liwela kulesi sigaba.
- Ikhono lokuqonda nokulandela imiyalelo elula enezinyathelo ezimbili: Ingane yakho kufanele ikwazi ukuqonda nokulandela imiyalelo emibili elula ilandelana. Isibonelo, uma uthi, "Thatha imoto yakho yokudlala uyifake ebhokisini," bona ukuthi iyaqonda yini bese uzama ukwenza zombili lezi zinyathelo—ukuthatha imoto uyifake ebhokisini. Esinye isibonelo singaba, "Gqoka izicathulo zakho bese uphuma." Kungase kudingeke ukuthi uyisize kancane ekuqaleni, kodwa into ebalulekile ukuthi iyaqonda futhi izame ukukwenza. Lokhu kukhombisa ukuthi ingalalela, iqonde, ikhumbule, futhi yenze ngokwemiyalelo. Leli khono libalulekile ekufundeni ulimi okuqhubekayo.
- Ikhono lokubona nokubiza izinto ezilula: Uma ukhomba izinto zasekhaya ezivamile noma amathoyizi abo bese ubuza, "Kuyini lokhu?", kufanele bakwazi ukubiza okungenani ezimbalwa, njengokuthi "Ibhola," "Imoto," "Inja," "Isihlalo," noma "Ibhodlela lobisi." Bakhuthaze ukuba bakhulume futhi babize izinto abazibonayo nabazithandayo. Lokhu kusiza ekwandiseni amagama abo.
- Isilulumagama samagama okungenani angu-50: Okwamanje, ingqondo yabo encane kufanele ukuthi isigcine okungenani amagama angu-50. Kunzima ukubala ngqo, akunjalo? Kodwa uma unaka amagama abawasebenzisa njalo kanye namagama amasha abawafaka enkulumweni yabo, ungathola umbono ongemuhle. Ngezinye izikhathi amagama abo angase angacaci, noma indlela abaphimisela ngayo ingase ingaphelele. Kodwa iqiniso lokuthi bazama futhi basebenzisa amagama ukuze baveze imizwa yabo yilona elibalulekile.
- Inkulumo eqondakala okungenani ngo-50% kubazali: Okungenani ingxenye (50%) yalokho okushiwo yingane yakho kufanele iqondakale kuwe—umama noma ubaba—noma ubani onakekela ingane kaningi. Abanye, njengezihlobo noma omakhelwane, bangase bangaqondi konke abakushoyo, futhi lokho akuyona inkinga enkulu kule minyaka. Njengoba uchitha isikhathi esiningi nabo, ujwayelene kakhulu "nolimi" lwabo oluncane. Ngakho-ke, uma ungaqonda okungenani u-50% walokho abazama ukukusho, kungabhekwa njengokusezingeni elihle.
Okufanele ukulindele phakathi kweminyaka emibili neyimithathu (ngeminyaka emi-3)
Njengoba ingane idlula iminyaka emibili futhi isondela eminyakeni emithathu, amagama ayo aqala ukukhula ngokushesha, futhi ikhono layo lokuqonda izinto landa kakhulu. Ake sibone ukuthi yini okufanele siyilindele enganeni eneminyaka emithathu.
- Ikhono lokusebenzisa imisho yamagama amathathu: Njengoba nje babesebenzisa imisho yamagama amabili ngaphambili, manje kufanele bakwazi ukusebenzisa imisho yamagama amathathu njengokuthi “Umama udla ilayisi,” “Ubaba uye emsebenzini,” “Ngifuna ibhola,” noma “Imoto enkulu.” Abanye abantwana baze baqale ukusebenzisa imisho yamagama amane noma amahlanu. Lokhu kubonisa isivinini ikhono labo lolimi elikhula ngaso.
- Isilulumagama samagama angu-200 noma ngaphezulu (amaningi kakhulu ukuba angabalwa!): Okwamanje, inani lamagama ingane elaziyo kufanele ukuthi selikhuphuke kakhulu. Eqinisweni, kufanele bazi amagama amaningi kunalawo ongawahlala phansi uwabale kalula—cishe angu-200 noma ngaphezulu. Bafunda amagama amasha ngokushesha kakhulu kule minyaka. Bahlala befaka amagama amasha kulokho okushoyo nalokho abakuzwayo eduze kwabo.
- Inkulumo eqondakala okungenani ngo-75% kwabanye: Nakuba sithe u-50% wanele abazali ngaphambilini, lapho beneminyaka emithathu, cishe izingxenye ezintathu kwezine (75%) zalokho ingane ekushoyo kufanele kuqondakale kulabo ekhuluma nabo, ngisho nakumuntu ongajwayelene kakhulu nabo. Inkulumo yabo iqala ukucaca.
- Ikhono lokuqonda izithasiselo: Kufanele bakwazi ukuqonda nokwenza izinto ngamagama anjengokuthi “phezulu,” “ngaphansi,” “ngaphakathi,” kanye “eduze.” Isibonelo, uma uthi, “Beka unodoli ngaphansi kwesihlalo,” kufanele bakwazi ukuqonda nokwenza lokho. Uma uthi, “Beka incwadi etafuleni ,” nabo kufanele bakuqonde lokho. Ukuqonda lokhu kukhombisa ukuthi ukuqonda kwabo ulimi kusezingeni elihle.
- Ukuqala ukusebenzisa izabizwana: Kufanele baqale ukusebenzisa izabizwana ezifana nokuthi “Mina,” “wena,” “yena,” “thina,” kanye nokuthi “yiyo” enkulumweni yabo. Bazosebenzisa la magama ukusho izinto ezifana nokuthi “Ngiyafuna,” “Woza,” noma “Lokho kuhle.” Lesi futhi yisinyathelo esibalulekile ekuthuthukisweni kolimi.
"Khumbula, akukho mthetho othi wonke umntwana uzofinyelela lezi zigaba ezibalulekile ngaphakathi kwalesi sikhathi. Kodwa yilokhu esikubonayo ngokuvamile. Uma ingane yakho ibonakala sengathi isemva kancane kwalezi zigaba ezibalulekile, ziqaphele isikhathi eside ngaphambi kokuba ukhathazeke."
Yini okufanele uyenze uma usazibuza noma uma ingane ibonakala sengathi isihambile?
Kulungile, uma ucabanga ngalokho esikuxoxile, uma unomuzwa wokuthi ingane yakho ayikafiki kulezi zigaba zolimi, noma uma unokungabaza okukhulu noma ukwesaba, sicela ukhulume nodokotela womndeni wakho noma udokotela wezingane. Lokhu kubaluleke kakhulu.
Ngezinye izikhathi kungase kungabi lutho nhlobo. Ezinye izingane zithuthukisa la makhono olimi kancane kancane; kungaba yilokho nje ingane yakho eyikho. Kodwa-ke, uma kukhona ukubambezeleka kolimi, ukungenelela kusenesikhathi, ukwesekwa, kanye nokuqeqeshwa kungenza umehluko omkhulu emakhonweni engane yakho okukhuluma nokufunda esikhathini esizayo.
Udokotela uzokubuza imininingwane eyengeziwe ngengane yakho, abheke inkulumo yayo nokuziphatha kwayo, bese eyihlola. Bangase bakuthumelele ukuhlolwa kokuzwa, ngoba uma bengezwa kahle, kunzima ukufunda ukukhuluma.
Futhi, uma kudingeka, kungenziwa ukudluliselwa ku-Speech and Language Therapist. Laba belaphi bathole ukuqeqeshwa okukhethekile ukusiza izingane ezinenkinga yokulibaziseka kolimi.
Ungesabi noma yikuphi kwalokhu. Konke kwenziwa ukuze kunikezwe ukusekelwa okungcono kakhulu kwengane yakho. Uma kutholakala kusenesikhathi, kuba lula ukusiza, futhi imiphumela iba ngcono.
Izinto ezilula ongazenza ekhaya
Ngisho nangaphambi kokuya kudokotela, kunezinto ezincane ongazenza ekhaya ukusiza ukuthuthukisa amakhono olimi engane yakho:
- Khuluma nengane yakho njalo: Chaza ukuthi wenzani nokuthi ubonani usebenzisa amagama alula. Isibonelo, "Umama upheka ilayisi manje," noma "Bheka leyo nyoni enhle."
- Funda izincwadi: Bukani izincwadi ezinezithombe ezimibalabala ndawonye bese nixoxa ngalokho okukuzo. Ngisho nokulalela nje ingane yakho kuyisinyathelo esikhulu.
- Lalela ingane yakho: Uma izama ukusho okuthile, lalela ngesineke. Zama ukuqonda lokho ezama ukukusho.
- Buza imibuzo bese unikeza izimpendulo: Buza imibuzo elula njengokuthi, "Liphi ibhola?" noma "Ungathanda ukudlani?" Bakhuthaze lapho bezama ukuphendula.
- Dlalani ndawonye: Ukukhuluma nokufundisa amagama ngenkathi nidlala kuphumelela kakhulu.
Umlayezo Wokuya Nawe Ekhaya
Ngakho-ke, bomama nobaba, kuhle kakhulu ukunaka intuthuko yengane yakho yokukhuluma nolimi. Khumbula ukuthi ingane ngayinye ihlukile, kodwa uma usola ukuthi kukhona ukubambezeleka, kubaluleke kakhulu ukufuna iseluleko sezokwelapha.
"Uma unokungabaza okuncane kakhulu, ungahlali nje ucabange ukuthi 'kungase kungabi yinto etheni.' Khuluma nodokotela bese ususa lokho kungabaza. Yilokho okungcono kakhulu ongakwenzela ingane yakho."
Ungesabi, kodwa hlala uqaphile. Ngifisela ingane yakho ikusasa eliqhakazile!
Amathegi: Ukubambezeleka kolimi, inkulumo yengane, ubunzima bokukhuluma, ukubambezeleka kokukhula, ukuthuthukiswa kolimi lwengane, iseluleko sobuzali, iseluleko sezokwelapha
