I accepted the body that changed after cancer. But what about getting older? (Radical Acceptance)

Sometimes we manage to cope with the biggest challenges in our lives. But surprisingly, we can't cope with even the smallest, most ordinary things, and we end up feeling sad and anxious. Today we're talking about one such experience. Imagine, how would someone who has fought and won breast cancer feel if they couldn't handle the signs of aging on their body? This is something that many people feel, but don't talk about much.

A woman's battle with cancer

To understand this story, let's take the experience of a woman who fought breast cancer as an example. Her body went through a really big journey. It wasn't an easy one.

• Eight rounds of chemotherapy .
• A lumpectomy is a surgery to remove a tumor from the breast.
• Removal of nine lymph nodes from the armpit area.
• Radiation therapy for six weeks.
• The medication had to be taken for a whole year to prevent the cancer from coming back.

Imagine how her body must have changed after enduring all this. Her right breast surgery left a small dent. She had a tingling sensation on the top of her right arm. There was a round scar where her mammary glands were removed. Also, her left breast was always bigger than her right one. Not just a little, but quite noticeable.

Over time, she came to a place where she could accept it all. She thought about it like this: "I see a body that has won a battle. I see a body that has beaten cancer. I see an incredibly lucky woman who loves her life and the body that lives it."

At the time, it was completely true. But ten years later, she looks at it a little differently. She's realized that fully embracing your body or anything in your life isn't a one-time achievement. It's an ongoing process.

What is this 'Radical Acceptance'?

Simply put, Radical Acceptance is the complete and unconditional acceptance that something is really happening to us. You don't have to like it, you don't have to be happy about it, but you have to accept it and say, 'Okay, this is the reality of the situation at this moment.' It's about stopping fighting against reality, understanding the situation, and moving forward.

Imagine you're walking down the street and you get caught in a heavy rainstorm. You get wet.

• Non-acceptance : "Oh, why is it raining right now? This can't be happening!" and getting wet by cursing at the rain.
• Radical Acceptance: Accepting the situation and acting on it, saying, "Okay, it's raining, I'm getting wet. This is the truth. I need to hide somewhere quickly."

Do you understand the difference? Radical Acceptance is not about giving up or saying, "This doesn't matter." It's about thinking, "This is the situation, what do I do with it now?"

Accepted the signs of cancer, but the signs of aging?

Over time, the woman in our story found herself going days and weeks without even realizing she had cancer. It became just another part of her identity, like her brown hair and brown eyes.

But... there was something else she still couldn't fully accept. That was getting older.

Getting out of bed in the morning, going down the stairs, "Aww, aww, aww" until the stiffness in her ankles went away. Looking in the mirror, thinking, "Where did that line in the middle of my neck come from?" She was still fighting these things.

True, she's lucky to have lived long enough to see the signs of aging. She knows that. But she can't say she's fully accepted it.

• She still dyes her hair when she grows it out.
• I'm looking for a cream that can do something about neck wrinkles.
• Exercising is not only about staying healthy and strong, but also about looking good in jeans and a tank top.

She doesn't stress about these things as much as she did in her 20s. She has a much bigger outlook on life now. But if she's still trying to change her body, is she 100% committed to it? Probably not.

This experience teaches us a good lesson. Even if we accept something big like cancer, the pressures from society can make it difficult to accept something natural like aging.

Scars are not a sign of weakness, but a sign of strength.

Ultimately, here's the most important message of this story. Over time, the experience of cancer becomes more distant. Sometimes it feels like it happened to someone else.

But the scars on your body always remind you, "No, it really happened to you. You endured it. You got over it."

Those scars remind you of how vulnerable you were and how strong you are at the same time. That feeling is much more valuable than just accepting something. That is the real victory.

Cancer, breast cancer, radical acceptance, mental health, self-acceptance, aging, body changes