Tips for parents on managing the behavior of a child with ADHD (ADHD)

Tips for parents on managing the behavior of a child with ADHD (ADHD)

Taking care of a child with ADHD, or attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, can sometimes be a big challenge for parents. Do you often think things like, "My child doesn't understand anything," "He never stays in one place," "He doesn't listen to anything you say?" This can be a very tiring experience. But don't worry, you are not alone. There are many things we can do to understand this condition properly and manage our child's behavior in a positive way. Let's talk about that today.

The most important thing we need to remember before everything else is

Whether your child is young or old, the most important thing is to make them feel that you are firm and fair . There are two main ways to do this.

1. Praise good behavior immediately: As soon as your child does something good, praise them immediately, praise them, or give them a small reward. This will make them more motivated to continue the good behavior.

2. Explain the consequences of bad behavior : If your child does something bad, follow a clear, understandable, and consistent policy about what the consequences will be. Don't punish one way today and another tomorrow.

Simply put, when a child understands that good behavior will be rewarded with a positive response and bad behavior will have a pre-agreed consequence, it becomes much easier to control his behavior.

The way these methods are implemented may vary depending on the age of the child. Let's see how.

For preschool-aged children (5 years and under)

For children this age, everything is like a game. Therefore, they need to be taught rules and routines very simply and lovingly.

  • Organize your day (create a routine): Keep things the same from the time you wake up in the morning to the time you go to bed at night, and keep the same schedule as much as possible. For example, create a regular routine for things like breakfast, playtime, bathtime, and bedtime. If a relative is coming home or you are going on a trip, tell your child about it in advance and prepare him mentally.
  • Explain the rules: Before doing something, clearly explain the rules. Imagine you are getting ready to go to a park. Before you go, say to your child: "Son/daughter, let's not fight with the other kids at the park, okay? Let's share the toys and play."
  • Use rewards: If your child does something good that makes you proud, give them a sticker, a gold star on their chart, or a few extra minutes to play a favorite game. Avoid giving them food like money, chocolate, or biscuits as gifts.
  • Engage in activities that develop attention : Read books together with your child, draw pictures, do puzzles, and color. Getting involved in these activities will improve your child's attention and strengthen your bond.
  • Use a timer: Some parents have found this method very helpful. Set a reasonable time limit for your child to do things like bathe, play, or watch TV. For example, "Let's play for 15 minutes, then go take a bath." Then he will automatically learn that even fun things have limits.

For school-age children (6 - 12 years old)

Children of this age are gradually becoming more capable of understanding things logically, so the way we work with them needs to be a little different.

  • Give clear instructions: When giving your child a chore to do, instead of just saying, "Go and tidy up your room," break it down into simple, clear steps . For example, give instructions in simple, clear steps like, "First make the bed, then put the toys in the box, and finally put the books on the table."
  • Create a point system: Create a clear point system or star chart for good behavior and completed tasks. This way, your child will know exactly what they'll get for doing a good job. And be consistent when giving them those rewards.
  • Make a punishment plan: Decide in advance what the punishment will be for a particular misdeed. Always implement it fairly and consistently. Most importantly, never punish or scold your child in front of others. Doing so can damage the child's self-esteem.
  • Talk to teachers regularly: Stay in touch with your child's teachers regularly so that you can work together to resolve any behavioral issues that arise at school before they become bigger problems.
  • Be a good role model: Children watch what we do more than what we say. The best way for children with ADHD to learn good behavior is through the adult examples they see. So be a good role model yourself.

For young children (Teens)

This is a complicated time for children and parents alike. They are searching for their own identity and trying to become adults.

  • Involve them in decisions: As your child gets older, involve them in making things like house rules, rewards for good behavior, and punishments for bad behavior. Ask them, "What are we going to do about this?" This will give them a sense of responsibility and boost their self-esteem.
  • Maintain privacy when giving punishment: Young children are very sensitive to how others view them. So if they are scolded or punished in front of others, they may feel embarrassed or act stubborn. So, whatever the problem, talk it out in private.
  • Talk openly about problems: If there is a problem at school, talk to your child, not just the teacher. Work with them to come up with a plan to solve the problem. Create an environment where they can talk openly about their problems and what they are thinking.
  • Keep your behavior consistent: Your behavior should be consistent and reasonable. This will help your child know what to expect from you. This will help them feel secure.
Age group Main tactics Simple example
Preschool (under 5 years old) A consistent routine, simple rules, non-food rewards, and the use of timers. If you remove the toys, you get a star. There is a 20-minute timer to play.
School-going age (6-12 years) Breaking down work into chunks, grading systems, relationships with teachers, and being a role model. Tidying up the room is broken down into 3 steps. Doing homework is worth 5 points.
Teens Involving in decisions, talking in person, open communication. "Okay, you have to be home before 10pm. If you don't agree to that, what time do you suggest? Give your reasons."

As a parent, you need help too - that's normal.

Raising a child with ADHD is not easy. It's normal to feel tired, frustrated, angry, or sad at times. You may think to yourself, "Am I not a good parent?" But understand that these feelings are normal.

If you find it difficult to deal with these things on your own, talk to someone about it. This could be your partner, a trusted friend, or a relative. It can also be helpful to join a support group for parents like this. If necessary, you can also seek the help of a counselor to help you take care of your mental health and better cope with these challenges.

The most important thing is to talk openly about your child's condition and the problems you are facing with your family doctor or the pediatrician or psychiatrist who is treating your child. They will provide the right guidance that is right for you and your child.

Take-Home Message

  • Firmness and fairness are very important when managing the behavior of an ADHD child.
  • Praise your child's good behavior immediately. This will encourage that behavior even more.
  • Consequences for bad behavior should be clear, consistent, and agreed upon in advance .
  • The best way to teach your child good behavior is to be a good example yourself.
  • It's normal to feel tired and frustrated as a parent. Don't hesitate to get help for yourself.
  • Always discuss your child's condition and any concerns you may have with your doctor.

ADHD Sinhala, ADHD children, children's behavior, attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, parenting advice, child mental health

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