When you are diagnosed with cancer, it is like a bolt of lightning striking your life. In an instant, everything we have dreamed of is turned upside down. Our focus is on treatments , surgeries, and medications. But behind all this, there is something we don't think about, something that often breaks us from the inside. That is the psychological side of this journey. Today, we will talk about this emotional battle, based on the story of a young woman who faced such an experience.
How life turned upside down
This is the story of a young woman named Carissa. Before cancer struck, she was just like you and me, in her twenties. She was engaged, working at a beauty salon, and living happily with her friends. She had moved into a new house with her boyfriend and was dreaming about her wedding. Life was going very well.
One day while taking a shower, she felt a lump in her breast. When she went to a clinic, they said that since she was only 30, it wasn't anything serious, and to come back in 6 months. The doctors thought it might be a fatty tumor, a non-cancerous ``(Lipoma)''.
But after 6 months, he felt the lump getting bigger. He couldn't even see a doctor on time because of COVID-19 . Although he was starting to feel very scared, he convinced himself that since he was young and no one in his family had cancer, there wouldn't be a problem.
Finally, the doctor spoke and gave her the news she didn't want to hear. "You have cancer." Words cannot describe the shock she felt at that moment. The 5-minute drive home felt like an eternity. She was thinking about her wedding, when she suddenly learned that she had a type of breast cancer called `(Stage II Invasive Ductal Carcinoma)`.
"Why did this happen to me? I'm a good person. I help everyone. Why did this happen to me?" This question echoed in his mind.
The biggest problem for her was that she was having to deal with all this at her age. When she started chemotherapy , the other people coming in for treatment were women in their 50s, 60s, 70s. She was the youngest person in the room. They looked at her like, 'What is this little kid doing here?' She was really wondering the same thing.
Those days passed like a dream.
After starting treatment, I felt numb. It was like I was looking at myself from outside my body. There were constant treatments, surgeries, medications... doctors teaching me about medications, having to go to classes, giving me things to read, and so many things to make time for. All of this happened during COVID-19, so I had to do everything alone.
According to Carissa, at that time she had no feelings at all. Like a robot.
Additional challenges encountered during treatment
- Thinking about children: Before starting chemo, she had her eggs frozen because she couldn't afford to lose the chance of having a child in the future. The IVF process, and the constant injections she had to undergo from her boyfriend, were a huge burden.
- Hair loss: Like many women, Carissa found losing her hair overwhelming. As a cosmetologist, she was proud of her long, thick locks. When her hair started falling out in clumps, she knew it was time to cut it off. When her boyfriend shaved her head, she felt like stopping and crying. While planning a wedding, she realized how difficult it would be to shop for wedding dresses without hair.
How to cope with these difficult times
When the numbness that we had during treatment disappeared, it was a great sadness. When we are undergoing treatment, we are in ``survivor mode''. Only when that routine is over, it is time to think about what we have lost. It is as if we are grieving for our old life.
But Carissa understood the pressure. She is now seeing a therapist and is a member of a support group with experienced people. Family and friends are her greatest strength.
The most amazing thing was the support I received from strangers I had never met. "One thing cancer taught me was to stop trying to please other people. I learned that it's not wrong to think about my needs and accept help from others."
Now she's taking hormone therapy. It has side effects. Hot flashes, mood swings, and insomnia. There are still days when she cries in the bathroom. But she's learning to live one day at a time. Listening to a good song, talking to a friend, and planning her future wedding bring her joy.
"This is hard, but I always try to think on the positive side. Because I know that mindset is everything."
| Emotional challenge | How it feels | Healthy ways to cope |
|---|---|---|
| Shock and denial | Feelings like "This can't happen to me", "Why me?". A feeling of being unable to imagine anything. | Talk to someone you trust. Ask your doctor questions to get a clear understanding of the situation. |
| Numbness during treatment | A feeling of being without feelings. A feeling of being watched from outside your body. | Just think about one day at a time. Don't try to control everything at once. Be happy with the little things. |
| Sadness and grief | Feeling sad about the old life that was lost after treatment. Sadness caused by things like hair loss. | Accept that feeling sad is normal. See a counselor or join a support group. |
| Hope and moving forward | There are good days and bad days. Planning for the future makes you happy. | Make time for the things you love. Don't be afraid to ask for help from others. Practice positive thinking. |
Take-Home Message
- Cancer treatment is a physical battle as well as a huge mental battle. It's important to be prepared for both.
- It 's completely normal to feel emotions like shock, fear, sadness, anger, and numbness. Allow yourself to feel your emotions.
- Don't try to go through this journey alone. Get help from family, friends, and if necessary, a professional (like a counselor). It's a strength, not a weakness.
- It's not wrong to grieve for your old life. That grief will help you move forward with your new reality.
- Focus on the things you can control. Take one day at a time. Think about your mental health as much as your physical health.
- If you or someone you know is going through this, talk about their mental health and, if necessary, refer them to a doctor for help.
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