How are you today? Take a moment to stop reading this article and think about some of the things that happened to you today. If possible, grab a pen and paper and write down a few special events that you remember. Let's see what you write.
So, what did you think? Was your day mostly filled with good things? Something like, “Today was a great day! Grandma made breakfast. I was with my friends at school, and today’s English period was terrible!” Or did your mind wander to the wrong places? Something like, “Grandma made breakfast and I was late, and I missed the bus. My friends spent lunchtime reading about the same boring TV show. Today was English! I don’t like Thursdays at all!”? There’s a lot of sense in thinking this way.
What is optimism and pessimism?
Simply put, optimism and pessimism are two ways of looking at things and thinking. Our two mentalities .
An optimist always sees the bright side of things. They expect everything to go well. They also believe that they have the talent and ability to make good things happen. They always have a feeling of, "Oh, I can fix this."
On the other hand, we call people who find fault with everything, who see everything in black and white, “pessimists.” A pessimist often thinks that things will go wrong, or that they are always thinking about things that have not gone right. They may constantly have the thought, “This is not going to work out.”
But here's the thing. None of us are always optimistic or always pessimistic. However, we all tend to lean a little more heavily toward one of these two ways of thinking. The good news is that even if you're a bit on the pessimistic side, you don't have to be that way all the time! We can all change the way we look at things a little and become a little more optimistic. It's something we can learn.
Why is thinking positively so good for you?
Researchers, that is, scientists, have been studying optimists for a long time. They say that having a positive attitude helps us to be happy , successful in life, and even healthy.
Just think, thinking positively gives you these benefits:
- Mental Health : Optimism is like a shield that can protect you from conditions like depression . Even if you are at risk of developing depression, thinking positively can help prevent it.
- Stress Resilience: When you have an optimistic outlook, you gain a lot of strength to withstand the pressures of life, that is, ``Stress.`` When a problem arises, you don't panic, but you look at it in a different way.
- Longevity: Don't be surprised, it's been found that thinking positively can help people live longer and help them live longer. That means it's key to living a healthy, happy life.
- Learning to be positive: The best part of all this is that you can learn to think positively, even if your thinking tends to lean towards the negative. It's something that can be trained.
“Optimism is not just a way of thinking, it is a key to a healthy life.”
How do optimists and pessimists view events?
Optimism is not just about seeing the good side of things, or expecting good things. It's a way of thinking about, of interpreting, something that has already happened.
Think about it this way. When something good happens , optimists think about what they did to make it so good. They see their abilities as permanent, fixed parts of themselves. They also think about how these good things pave the way for more good things. For example, if they pass an exam well, an optimist might think, “I passed because I studied hard. I can do these things. This will help me get a better job.”
But, when things don't go as planned , there's another side to it. Optimists don't blame themselves. They see setbacks as temporary . When a mistake happens, optimists attribute it to a specific situation or event, not their own abilities. Because they don't see setbacks as personal shortcomings, optimists are better able to bounce back from disappointments than pessimists.
Here's a small example. Both Nimala and Supunu go to tryouts to make the school basketball team. Neither of them can make the team. Both are sad, but they deal with it differently.
Nimal is an optimist. He thinks: “There were a lot of talented players at the trials, and there were only a few spots on the team. So I practiced as hard as I could, and I feel like I played well! The coach gave me good feedback. I will work on what he said and watch every game this season. Then I will have a better chance next year.”
See? Nimal focuses on the specific situation, not on personal shortcomings. He doesn't see this situation as permanent. He fully expects to be able to make the team next year, and he's already thinking about what he needs to do to make it.
Supun is a bit on the pessimistic side. He thinks: “It’s no wonder I’m misunderstood – I was the weakest person in the trials, and the coach doesn’t seem to like me that much. Nothing will ever go right for me. I have to admit, I’m not that good of a player.” Unlike Nimal, Supun takes this setback personally. He blames himself, and he thinks that external factors (coaches, life) are working against him. What’s worse, this one incident has made him doubt his own athletic abilities.
Now think for yourself, which of these two is more likely to be frustrated for a longer time? Who is more likely to practice more and try again? Who is more likely to give up? The answer is obvious, right?
How does positive thinking build your resilience ?
Thinking positively allows us to see disappointing events as temporary , meaning we can recover from them. It strengthens us to try again instead of giving up. It allows us to keep our goals and dreams in mind, and to work hard to achieve them. As a result, optimistic people feel more in control of their situations, and they also have higher self-esteem . They have a good sense of self-worth and confidence.
On the other hand, pessimistic thinking leads us to take disappointments and rejections personally. It also makes them seem more permanent than they really are. When we have a pessimistic outlook, we tend to focus on the negative aspects of a situation, and any positive aspects are overshadowed. When things don’t go as planned, pessimistic thinking makes it difficult to cope.
Is this optimism about seeing everything in rosy tones? (Realistic Optimism)
No, it's not. Optimism doesn't mean everything is a fairy tale, it's not about seeing everything in rosy tones. Optimists don't ignore problems or pretend that everything in life is perfect. They focus on what's good about a situation and what they can do to make things better.
Optimists have true confidence . That's because they're prepared. They know that they have to study hard to pass a tough exam. They know that they can't make the basketball team without practicing.
Simply put, optimism is about action. It's about finding a healthy balance between positive and realistic thinking.
Do you want a little pessimistic thoughts?
Pessimistic thinking can drag us down – so it's good to know that a negative mindset can be changed. But that doesn't mean you have to erase all negative thoughts.
Sometimes, the mindset of “What’s right?” helps us pinpoint a problem. Thinking about what could go wrong can help us avoid unnecessary risks.
Think about it this way. Your brother is texting you while you’re driving. Your negative mind warns you: “Hey, this is not good!” So you tell him to stop, at least for his safety, and for your own. In this situation, you combine a negative thought (“If I text and drive, I could get into an accident!”) with a positive action (“I know I can do something to stop this.”).
We all go through tough times at times. It can feel like nothing is going right. When we are feeling down, it is good to acknowledge our feelings and talk about what is wrong. Talking things out with someone you trust can help you feel better and remind you of your positive potential. The important thing is not to get stuck in the rut of what is wrong. If you do, even negative thoughts can help you move forward.
How can we be a little more optimistic?
If you tend to be a pessimist most of the time, you can become more adept at seeing the positive. Here are some things you can try:
- When good things happen, notice them and appreciate them. At the end of each day, take 10 minutes to reflect on the day and find a few things you are grateful for. Write them down in a journal or in a motivational app on your phone or tablet. It doesn't matter if it's something small, like, "Someone smiled at me today."
- Train your mind to believe that you can make good things happen in your life. Practice telling yourself specific things you can do to be successful. For example: “If I study, I can get good grades.” “If I practice, I will do well on that show.” “If I go to that volunteer program, I will make new friends.”
- Don't blame yourself when things go wrong. What does your inner voice say when things don't go as expected? Instead of thinking, "I failed the math test because I'm bad at math," tell yourself: "I failed the test because I didn't study hard. I won't let that happen again!" Instead of thinking, "Anuradha left me because I'm so useless," think: "Now I understand why a breakup is so painful, but spending time with my friends makes me feel better again."
- When something good happens, give yourself credit. Think about what you did to get the good result. Did you prepare well for the exam? Did you practice diligently? Think about what strengths you used and how they helped you succeed. Don’t be afraid to think, “I did this!”
- Remind yourself that setbacks are temporary. As soon as something goes wrong, remind yourself that it will pass – and make a plan to make it happen. For example: “My A-level results weren’t as good as I hoped, but I can study more and retake the exam.”
- Watch how others talk about themselves. Are your friends and family positive or negative? For example, does your dad say, “I cooked the hot dogs, I’m a terrible cook!” Or does he say, “I cooked the hot dogs because I was distracted by watching the dog chase a squirrel!”
Try to incorporate these habits into your life little by little. It may feel difficult at first, but after a while, you will notice the difference.
So, the final take-home message:
Now you understand that optimism is a learned way of thinking . That means that pessimism is something we can also let go of !
This may take some time, so don't get discouraged. As you become more aware of these two ways of thinking, you will gradually see more ways to be optimistic. Keep telling yourself, "I can be more optimistic, I'll keep practicing this!"
Remember, every small step counts. Every effort you make to change the way you think brings you a little closer to happiness, success, and health . So, let's start this positive journey today! Good luck!
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