Who is a "Rainbow Baby"? Let's talk about this sensitive topic

There is probably no greater pain than losing a baby you have hoped for during pregnancy . After that dark, sad time, it is difficult to put into words the feeling you feel when you have a new baby in your life with hope again. It is a complex feeling of joy, fear, sadness, and anticipation. That is why a baby born after such a difficult experience is affectionately called a "Rainbow Baby."

Why are these babies called "Rainbow Babies"?

Simply put, this is a beautiful metaphor. Imagine, after a big storm, a heavy rain, the sky clears and a beautiful rainbow appears, right? That's how it is. These babies are called "rainbow babies" because they bring light, happiness, and hope to the parents' lives after a sad storm like a miscarriage, stillbirth, or an ectopic or molar pregnancy.

Not only in our country, but many parents around the world face this experience. According to surveys, about one in four pregnancies may end in miscarriage. So if you have faced such an experience, first of all remember that you are not alone.

Grief and new hope for a lost baby

It's normal to feel happy about having a new baby, but also sad about the loss of the baby. That's not wrong. You can have both feelings at the same time. Dealing with that grief is an important part of this journey.

There are several things that can help you cope with this grief:

• Leave a memorial for that baby : Maybe you can plant a tree for that baby. Or you can do a meritorious deed, give alms, and express your gratitude to that baby. Some hospitals take the baby's hand and footprints and give them to the parents. Something like that will be a great strength for you too.
• Talk to someone you trust: This is very important. Talk openly with your husband/wife about how you are feeling. Each person may experience grief in different ways, so it is important to listen to each other. Also, if you have a friend or relative who has gone through this experience, talking to them can be very helpful.
• Seek professional advice: Sometimes it's hard to deal with these feelings alone. At such times, it's a good idea to seek the help of a counselor. It can be a great boost to your mental health.

When you're expecting a rainbow baby...

Getting pregnant again is a mix of emotions. On one hand, it's overwhelming joy, on the other, it's overwhelming fear. It's normal to have a nagging fear of "Will it happen again?" And it can also be a feeling of guilt, "Is it right for me to be happy like this?" Understand that all of these feelings are normal.

During this time, the most important thing is to take good care of yourself and your new baby.

Take care of your physical health.

• Vitamins and Nutrition: Take the vitamins your doctor recommends, especially folic acid. Folic acid is essential for the baby's cell growth. Eating a balanced diet is also very important.
• Regular checkups : Keep in touch with your doctor regularly. Go to the clinics on the scheduled dates. When you get the scan and hear the baby's heartbeat, your fear will gradually decrease.
• Maintain a healthy weight: Talk to your doctor about maintaining a healthy weight during pregnancy. Engaging in light exercise, such as walking, is good for your body and mind.
• Avoid smoking and drugs completely: These are very harmful to the baby. If you need help breaking these habits, talk to your doctor openly about it.

How to manage anxiety during pregnancy?

Mothers who have had a previous miscarriage are at a slightly higher risk of postpartum depression and anxiety, so it's important to take special care of your mental health during this time.

• Understand that this pregnancy is different: Don't assume that what happened last time will happen this time. Every pregnancy is different, a new journey.
• Reduce stress: Eliminate as many things from your life as possible that make you feel stressed. See if you can reduce your responsibilities at work.
• Practice meditation: Just spending a few minutes a day focusing on one thing and breathing deeply can greatly reduce your fear and stress.
• Practicing gratitude: Think about the good things in your life. You will feel a sense of joy and relief when you think about this new hope, about the people who love you, and about the things you have.

When telling others about the new baby

Those who were with you during your grief will be happy to hear the news of your new baby. But sometimes, even with good intentions, the questions and comments people make can hurt you. It can be hard to hear things like, "Oh, you better be careful not to do it like last time." They don't understand what you're going through because they haven't been through what you're going through.

So, tell the people you feel most comfortable talking to about this, the ones you trust to understand you (husband, mother, best friend) first. Then you can tell others later. If you want, you have every right to keep this a secret until after the baby is born. There's nothing wrong with that.

Rainbow Baby, abortion, pregnancy, mental health, pregnancy loss, grief