We all see things in public places, whether on the bus, the train, or on the road. Sometimes, right in front of our eyes, we see someone harassing , insulting, or bothering another person. Maybe it's because of that person's appearance, race, religion, gender, or some other reason. At a time like this, you might be wondering, "What do I do now?" If you haven't thought about this before, it's really hard to think of the right thing to do at that moment. So, today, let's talk about how you can help someone who is helpless in such a situation.
How do you help someone who is being bullied?
How you help in a situation like this will depend on what is happening at the time. The first thing you need to do is assess the situation carefully and choose the most appropriate and safe option. Here are some ways you can help.
The most important thing is to do something. Your small intervention can prevent a lot of damage.
Let's look at these methods a little more clearly in a table.
| Action | Things you can do |
|---|---|
| Make your presence felt. | Look directly at the bully. Get a little closer to the person being bullied. If you feel safe, move between the two of them. This sends the message to the bully that "someone is watching." |
| Talk to the helpless person. | Sit or stand near the person. Start a conversation by asking something simple like, "What time is it?" Try to ignore the person who is harassing you. This may end the problem. |
| Respond directly. | Only speak directly to the bully if you are absolutely sure it is safe . Say something like, "What you are doing is not okay" or "Please leave him alone." But remember, sometimes this can make the problem worse. |
| Suggest, don't dictate. | Let the helpless person take control of the situation. Make suggestions like, "Would you like to sit next to me?" Don't give orders like, "Come here" or "Do this." |
| Find more help | Look around. If you're on the train, see if you can move to another box. See if there are other people who can help. It's safer when there are more people together. |
| Document the event. | If possible, videotape the incident on your phone. However, ask the person being harassed before doing so. This can be very important if needed for legal purposes. |
| Keep looking after the event | During or after the incident, talk to the person who is feeling helpless and ask, "Are you okay now?" "Do you need any help?" That's a great encouragement to that person. |
Never make these mistakes!
When helping someone, there are things we should avoid doing. It is very important to avoid these.
| Don'ts | Why is that? (Why?) |
|---|---|
| Don't stay silent as if you didn't notice. | When you do nothing, you are encouraging the harassment to continue. Even if you feel afraid to speak up, at least go up to the person and stand up. |
| Don't blame the helpless person. | Never say things like, "This happened because you wore that dress." Whatever someone chooses, it is not a reason to be bullied. It is never the victim's fault. |
| Don't take control. | Let the person handle the situation. Before doing anything, ask them, "Should I do this?" and empower them. Don't try to show off your heroism. |
What exactly is harassment?
Many people think that harassment is only physical. But that's not the case. There are many ways that harassment can occur in a public place.
Behaviors that could be considered harassment
- Saying rude and insulting things.
- Insulting someone based on things like their race, religion, sexual orientation (homophobic), or transgender identity ( transphobic ).
- Unwanted sexual advances.
- Trying to keep talking even after someone tells you "don't talk."
- Forcibly requesting someone's personal information ( phone number, address).
- Following someone.
- To cross someone's path.
- To get very close to someone's body (in VAD ing personal space).
- Touching someone without permission.
- Taking photos and videos without permission.
- Obscene whistling in a public place.
Anything like this can cause a lot of stress and anxiety for a person. That's why these things should be taken very seriously. Sometimes, after an incident like this, a person can have a very emotional breakdown. If you feel that way, it's very important to talk to someone you trust, or if necessary, see your doctor for advice.
Take-Home Message
- If you see someone being bullied, never act like you don't see it. Staying silent only encourages the bullying.
- Before you intervene, think about your own safety first. Think about ways you can help indirectly, without getting into a direct confrontation.
- Don't blame or judge the person being bullied. The bully is always at fault.
- Offer your help as a "suggestion." Empower the helpless person to take control of the situation.
- Your one look, one word, or even your presence can be the reason to save someone from great danger. Be a kind and brave citizen.
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