It's 5:30 p.m. You're probably still on your way home from work. Your teenage daughter or son has just come home from school. But what are they doing at home alone? Are they hanging out with their friends and doing something inappropriate? Do you have any of these little fears or doubts in your mind? If you feel that way, you're not alone. This is a problem that many parents face these days.
In today's society, both parents work. Sometimes there is only one caregiver in the family. Therefore, children often come home after school without adult supervision. We are talking about young children. For younger children, there are plenty of after-school activities and classes to participate in. But for young children between the ages of 12-18, there are very few programs that are suitable and keep them busy.
Why do we need to think about this so much?
This is a bit more serious than we think. Various studies have found that young children who spend time alone without adult supervision are at a much higher risk of engaging in wrongdoing .
Consider this: A study by the American Academy of Pediatrics found that 8-year-olds who spend more than 10 hours a week alone are about 10% more likely to try drugs like marijuana. They are also twice as likely to smoke and drink alcohol than children who are always under adult supervision.
"Leaving children unattended is a major risk factor for things like drug use and teen pregnancy," says Philip B. Cunningham, MD, a professor of psychiatry at the Medical University of South Carolina. "So if your child is left alone after school until you get home, they are at a higher risk of getting into trouble."
So, what solutions can we find to this problem without quitting your job and staying home? Let's talk about it.
It's not what we do for our children, it's what our children can do for us!
We need to change the way we think about this issue a bit. Instead of thinking, "How can we take care of our children?", it's best to start thinking, "What can these children do for us, for society?"
Simply put, sending children to community service is a great solution. Just think, this provides a great opportunity to use their free time usefully.
- Help a nursing home nearby.
- Get them involved in a common activity at the temple, church, or temple.
- If your child loves animals, encourage them to volunteer at an organization that helps animals.
When a child is involved in something positive like this, the chances of them going down the wrong path are greatly reduced. Also, the child begins to feel a sense of self-worth and responsibility.
Another great idea is to get together with your neighbors and make a small arrangement. For example, you could tell the other parents, "I'm a working parent, but I can spend three hours a week doing something with the kids in our neighborhood." If you can take turns watching the kids, it's a big help to everyone.
Let's explain this further in the table below.
| Risky Behavior | Positive Alternative |
|---|---|
| Wasting time, associating with the wrong friends. | Dedicating oneself to a sport, playing a musical instrument, art, or other hobby. |
| Wasting time unnecessarily on the Internet or video games. | Encourage community service, volunteering, or going to the library. |
| Temptation to drugs, cigarettes, etc. | Identifying the child's talents and helping them develop them. (e.g. small business, crafts) |
| Always being alone and depressed. | Helping to build a relationship with a trusted adult (teacher, coach, relative). |
The importance of talking to your child
The most important thing above all else is to maintain good communication with your child .
"Where is your child? Who are their friends? What are they doing?" It may seem like a bit of a 'naughty' thing to ask about these things, but it is the responsibility of parents. It is the nature of young children to try to push those boundaries. We need to understand that and guide them with love.
When talking to children, don't always treat them as stupid, dangerous, or always making mistakes. Instead, speak with the confidence that "this child can be given responsibility, that he can understand right from wrong." Also, if you tell your child not to do something, it's very important to set an example by not doing it yourself.
Other things you can do:
- Get to know your child's friends: find out who they are, where they live, and who their parents are. If possible, talk to those parents too.
- Monitor from a distance: Develop a system to monitor your child while you are at work.
- Set a specific time to come home.
- Ask them to give you a c ALL when you get home.
- Ask a trusted neighbor to check on the child to see if he has come home.
These things may seem like a hassle, but remember, there is nothing more important than your child's safety and future.
Take-Home Message
- Even though your child is young, they still need adult supervision and guidance. Don't give up completely because "he's a big boy now."
- Don't let your child's free time be wasted. Direct them towards positive activities like sports, hobbies, and community service.
- Talk to your child regularly. Treat them with respect, listen to their questions, and create an atmosphere at home where you can talk openly.
- Get to know your child's friends and their parents. This is very important for your child's safety.
- If you notice a big change in your child's behavior (e.g., excessive anger, being alone all the time, skipping schoolwork) that you can't understand, or if you suspect they are using something like drugs, it's never too late to talk about it. It's very important to seek advice from a trusted doctor (physician) .
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