Yu gyal pikin kin kam bak na os frɔm skul wit bad bad at? Yu nɔ tink se i de smayl ɛn tɔk lɛk aw i bin de tɔk trade? Yu tink se na in wangren de na in rum? Ɔ i kin kray bikɔs i nɔ ebul fɔ go skul? We yu si dɛn tin ya, yu go tink se, “Sɔntɛm i jɔs de insay bad bad maynd dɛn tɛm ya.” Bɔt dis kin bi di biginin fɔ wan dip stori. Dat na buli frɔm padi dɛn, ɔ as wi ɔl no am, ‘ buli ’.
Wetin wi kin tink bɔt we wi se ‘bullying’ ɛn wetin kin rili apin
We wi de tink bɔt buli, bɔku tɛm wi kin tink bɔt di big bɔbɔ we de du bad na skul we de tif di it ɛn mɔni fɔ pikin we wik. Dat min se, fɔ buli pɔsin na in bɔdi. Bɔt tide, mɔ pan gyal pikin dɛn, di kayn we aw dɛn de buli pipul dɛn dɔn chenj bɔku.
Dɔktɔ ɛn sayɛnsman dɛn we de stɔdi bɔt pɔsin in maynd kin kɔl dis buli tru rilayshɔnship ɔ (Relational Aggression) . Fɔ tɔk am simpul wan, dis na we, instead fɔ atak yu dairekt wan, yu de yuz padi biznɛs, tɔk, gɔsip, ɛn we yu nɔ de tɔk to ɔda pɔsin as wɛpɔn fɔ du bad to ɔda pɔsin. Imajin, yu gyal pikin in bɛst padi dɛn gɛda ɛn gi am lɛta we se, “Wi nɔ go ɛva tɔk to yu igen,” “Nɔ luk wi,” ɛn “Nɔ kam nia wi.” Pan ɔl we yu nɔ de fil dis na yu bɔdi, ɔmɔs pen yu de fil?
Sɔntɛnde, di wund dɛn we pɔsin kin gɛt we i de tɔk kin las pas di wan dɛn we pɔsin kin gɛt we i de fɛt am. Da pen de kin ivin las fɔ ɔl in layf.
Risach sho se 76% pan di pikin dɛm we de go skul kin gɛt dis kayn buli. Sɔntɛnde, pikin we nɔ ebul fɔ bia dis strɛs na in maynd kin ivin tray fɔ kil insɛf. Naw yu dɔn ɔndastand aw dis tin rili siriɔs.
Wetin mek pikin dɛn kin du tin dɛn lɛk dis?
Wi kin tink se pikin dɛn we nɔ gɛt bɛtɛ kɔnfidɛns pan dɛnsɛf, we wik pan skul, ɛn we sosayti nɔ gri wit, na dɛn kin buli ɔda pipul dɛn. Bɔt di trut rili difrɛn.
Bɔku tɛm, na gyal pikin dɛn we pipul dɛn lɛk na skul, we kin mek ɔlman pe atɛnshɔn to dɛn, we fayn, ɛn we gɛt ay kɔnfidɛns pan dɛnsɛf kin du dɛn tin ya . Dɛn kin du am bikɔs dɛn ‘kin’ du am. Dɛn kin du dɛn tin ya fɔ kɔntrol ɔda pipul dɛn ɛn fɔ mek dɛn kɔntinyu fɔ de insay dɛn grup.
Sɔntɛm di pikin we dɛn de buli na ‘difrɛn’ pan sɔm we dɛn. Sɔntɛm na bikɔs na in na di klas prɛsidɛnt, ɔ bikɔs i win wan gem, ɔ bikɔs i sabi stɔdi pas di ɔda wan dɛn. Ɔ sɔntɛm na bikɔs i nɔ gɛt wan pɔpul brand fɔ klos ɔ sus we di ɔda pikin dɛn de wɛr. Ivin smɔl rizin dɛn lɛk dɛn wan ya, dɛn kin yuz pɔsin fɔ marginalize ɛn du bad.
Yu tink se dɛn de buli yu pikin? Luk fɔ dɛn sayn dɛn ya
Bɔku tɛm, pikin dɛn nɔ kin tɛl dɛn mama ɛn papa bɔt dɛn tin ya we de apin to dɛn, so i impɔtant fɔ mek yu no bɔt dɛn sayn ya we de wɔn dɛn.
| Ficha we de wɔn pipul dɛn | Tɔk bɔt |
|---|---|
| Di we aw pipul dɛn de biev kin chenj | Wantɛm wantɛm, yu go kwayɛt, sɔri, vɛks izi wan, ɔ yu wan de na yu rum. |
| Nɔ want fɔ go skul | Bɔku tɛm fɔ se "A nɔ ebul fɔ go skul," ɛn nɔ want fɔ grap na mɔnin. |
| We pɔsin kin sik ɔltɛm | Fɔ kɔmplen bɔku tɛm bɔt bɛlɛ we de at ɛn ed we de at fɔ natin. |
| Di chenj dɛn we de apin na di we aw pɔsin de slip ɛn aw i de it | Trɔbul fɔ slip, bad bad drim, nɔr kin want fɔ it ɔr it pasmak. |
| Nɔto fɔ tɔk bɔt padi dɛn | Nɔ tɔk natin bɔt padi dɛn we yu bin de tɔk to bɔku tɛm ɔ fɔ avɔyd dɛn we dɛn aks yu bɔt dɛn. |
Tin dɛn we yu kin du as mama ɔ papa
1. Lisin to yu pikin: If yu pikin tɛl yu bɔt dis, nɔ ignore am.Bifo yu se, "Na so i bi," tek tɛm lisin to yu pikin ɛn mek i biliv se, "Dis nɔto yu fɔlt. Nɔto yu wan, a de wit yu."
2. Fɛn di bɛst ples fɔ tɔk: If yu nɔ fil fɔ tɔk na os, tɔk na ples we rilaks, lɛk na motoka ɔ we yu de na do. Insted fo aks dairekt se, "Udat de bost yu?", trai aks abaut yu padi dem in general, laik, "Aw Sarah de? Yu no de tok to am rait nau?"
3. Tɛl di skul: Dis rili impɔtant. Go na di skul wantɛm wantɛm ɛn tɔk to di klas ticha ɛn di skul advaysa bɔt dis. If yu tɛl di ticha dɛn bɔt dis, dat kin mek shɔ se di pikin sef na di klasrum.
4. Tɔk to ɔda mama ɛn papa dɛn: Tɔk to yu pikin in padi dɛn mama ɛn papa bɔt dis. Sɔntɛm ɔda pikin dɛn bak de go tru di sem tin.
5. Go to dɔktɔ: If yu pikin de gɛt mɔ strɛs, wɔri, ɔr gɛt pwɛl hat sik, mek shɔ se yu go to yu famili dɔktɔ fɔ advays. Yu kin rifer dɛn bak to pikin dɛn saykayatrist if nid de.
Wetin yu go du if dɛn de buli yu pikin?
Pan ɔl we i nɔ kin izi fɔ gri wit am, sɔntɛnde di pɔsin we de buli yu kin bi yu yon pikin. I impɔtant fɔ no bɔt dis bak.
- Yu pikin kin trowe pati ɛn bay wilful fɔ marginalize sɔm pikin dɛn?
- yu kin se bad tin boht oda pikin dem, lek "I rili boring" o "In klos dem ugly"?
- Yu de gɔsip bɔt yu padi we nɔ de?
- Sɔmbɔdi we bin de bi gud padi naw kam na os ɛn nɔ de tɔk to yu igen?
If yu si sɔntin lɛk dis, sɔm tin dɛn de we yu go ebul fɔ du.
If ɔda mama ɔ papa kam ɛn se, "Yu pikin de buli mi pikin," nɔ vɛks wantɛm wantɛm. Bifo yu fred, go na di skul fɔs ɛn no if di stori na tru.
Dɔn tɔk to yu pikin in wan, wit kol at. "A yɛri na skul se yu de fɛt wit ɔda pikin dɛn. Wetin na dat?" Aks. Ɛp yu pikin fɔ ɔndastand se wetin i de du nɔ rayt ɛn aw i de mek di ɔda pɔsin fil bad. Dis na fayn chans fɔ tich yu pikin bɔt wetin rayt ɛn wetin rɔŋ ɛn sɔri-at. Sɔntɛnde pikin dɛn we gɛt dis kayn abit kin nid fɔ gɛt advays . Tɔk to yu dɔktɔ bɔt dat bak.
Mɛsej we dɛn kin kɛr go na os
- Fɔ buli pɔsin nɔto jɔs fɔ du mami ɛn dadi biznɛs wit pɔsin. Fɔ mek pɔsin fil bad wit wɔd ɛn fɔ pul pɔsin kɔmɔt na in maynd, na tin we bad jɔs lɛk dat.
- Tɔk to yu pikin bɔku tɛm. Mek ples na os usay yu go tɔk opin wan bɔt in padi dɛn ɛn in skul.
- If yu notis se yu pikin de biev chenj, nɔ ignore am. Tray fɔ fɛn di rizin we mek i du dat.
- If yu kam fɔ no se pipul dɛn de buli yu, tɛl di skul wantɛm wantɛm. Go to dɔktɔ if nid de.
- Di tin we impɔtant pas ɔl na fɔ mɛn yu pikin fɔ bi pɔsin we gɛt sɔri-at ɛn du gud.
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