Yusɛf kin fil se yu wangren de? (Loneliness) Wi go tok abaut dis?

Oh, sɔntɛnde wi kin fil lɛk se wi de wi wan we wi nɔ go biliv, nɔto so? I tan lɛk se nɔbɔdi nɔ de rawnd, lɛk se nɔbɔdi nɔ ɔndastand wi. Dis na sɔntin we wi ɔl kin fil sɔntɛnde, nɔto jɔs fɔ smɔl pikin dɛn. Na dat mek i impɔtant fɔ tɔk bɔt dis filin fɔ de yu wan, ɔ as dɛn kin kɔl am na Inglish, ``(Loneliness)'', ɛn fɔ tray fɔ win am.

Wetin rili na dis wanwɔd?

Fɔ tɔk am simpul wan, fɔ de yu wan na we yu want fɔ de nia pɔsin, bɔt yu fil se yu de fa frɔm am. Imajin, yu want fɔ de wit yu padi dɛn, bɔt yu fil se dɛn dɔn lɛf yu, lɛk se nɔbɔdi nɔ bisin bɔt yu. Ɔ, we yu want fɔ de wit yu padi dɛn, yu kin fil se na yu wangren de. Dis filin tan lɛk smɔl sɔri-at, wan wangren we kɔmɔt dip insay.

Wi ɔl kin gɛt wanwɔd sɔntɛnde. Na nɔmal tin fɔ fil lɛk se yu de yu wan smɔl sɔntɛnde. I tan lɛk klawd we de kam ɛn go. Bɔku tɛm, da filin de fɔ de yu wan nɔ kin las fɔ lɔng tɛm. I kin go afta sɔm tɛm. Dis kin kɔmɔn fɔ smɔl pikin, yɔŋ pɔsin, ɔ big pɔsin.

We yu fil se yu wan de, wetin wi rili want na fɔ kɔnɛkt wit ɔda pipul dɛn, fɔ fil se dɛn ɔndastand wi, se dɛn bisin bɔt wi, se dɛn gladi fɔ wi. Ɛn we dat apin, da filin de we pɔsin kin fil se na in wangren kin mɛlt, lɛk ays kiub we de mɛlt insay wam wata.

Wetin mek wi kin fil se na wi wangren de? Wetin na di rizin dɛn?

Naw lɛ wi luk wetin mek wi kin fil se na wi wangren de. Difrɛn rizin dɛn kin de. Pan ɔl we ɔlman in ɛkspiriɛns difrɛn, na sɔm tin dɛn ya we kin mek yu fil se yu wangren de:

We yu fil se yu wangren de if yu nɔ gɛt pɔsin

Imajin, if yu mama ɔ papa nɔ de fɔ wok, ɔ if yu bɛst padi nɔ de nia yu lɛk aw i bin de trade, ɔ if dɛn dɔn go na difrɛn skul. Dɔn i kin rili de in wan if dɛn nɔ de, nɔto so? Yu nɔ go ebul wet fɔ de wit dɛn bak, fɔ tɔk to dɛn. We dɛn gladi gladi tin dɛn de, dɛn tɔk dɛn de kam bak, da wanwɔd de nɔ de igen wantɛm wantɛm. I tan lɛk se yu go na di vilej fɔ ɔlide ɛn gɛt gladi at wit yu grani ɛn granpa dɛn, dɔn yu kam bak na os ɛn fil se yu wangren smɔl if dɛn nɔ de.

We i tan lɛk se pɔsin vɛks pan yu.

Sɔntɛm yu nɔ bin gri smɔl ɔ yu bin de fɛt wit yu sista, brɔda, ɔ padi. Ɔ sɔntɛm yu mama ɔ papa vɛks smɔl fɔ sɔntin we yu du. We pipul dɛn nɔ gladi wit dɛnsɛf igen, yu kin fil se yu wangren de, yu kin separet, ɛn yu kin fil bad. Bɔt we una tɔk ɛn bi padi bak, ɔ we sɔmbɔdi se ‘sɔri,’ da distans de nɔ de igen ɛn yu at kin fil lɛk se yu de nia yu bak. Dɔn di wanwɔd sɛf de flay go.

We yu fil se nɔbɔdi nɔ no wetin de na yu maynd

Sɔntɛnde, wi kin gɛt tin dɛn we nɔ izi fɔ wi, difrɛn prɔblɛm dɛn, ɛn wɔri. We wi kip dɛn to wisɛf we wi nɔ tɛl ɛnibɔdi, wi kin rili fil se na wi wangren de ɛn wi kin gɛt lod. Bɔt we yu sheb wetin yu de fil ɛn wetin yu de gɛt wit pɔsin we yu trɔst, da prɔblɛm de, da lod de kin ridyus bad bad wan.We pɔsin lisin to yu, ɔndastand yu, ɛn se, "Nɔto yu wan, a de ya," da wanwɔd de nɔ de igen.

We yu fil lɛk se ɔda pipul dɛn nɔ de pe atɛnshɔn to yu

Sɔntɛnde, ilɛksɛf na skul, na yu wokples, ɔ na ɔda say dɛn we pipul dɛn kin de wit ɔda pipul dɛn, ɔda pipul dɛn kin provok yu, ɔ nɔ kin put yu pan grup dɛn ɔ gem dɛn. I kin rili de yu wan ɛn i kin mek yu fil pen fɔ fil lɛk se dɛn nɔ gri wit yu, se yu nɔ de pan da grup de. Bɔt if pɔsin tɔk to yu, if dɛn put yu insay – ɔ if yu mek yu maynd ɛn jɔyn dɛn – da wan de de tek ples fɔ wam filin se yusɛf de pat pan da grup de, da sosayti de.

We i tan lɛk se ɔlman bizi so

Dis na sɔntin we bɔku pipul dɛn kin fil dis tɛm. Sɔntɛnde, mama ɛn papa dɛn kin rili bizi wit dɛn wok, wok na os, brɔda ɛn sista dɛn kin bizi wit dɛn stɔdi, padi dɛn wit dɛn wok, ɔ ɔlman kin bizi wit dɛn fon. Dɔn, we dɛn nɔ gɛt tɛm fɔ tɔk, laf, ɔ spɛn tɛm togɛda, yu kin fil lɛk se yu wangren de smɔl ɛn yu kin vɛks. Bɔt we yu fambul ɛn padi dɛn mek tɛm fɔ tɔk to yu smɔl, ple gem, drink wan kɔp ti togɛda, ɔ aks yu sɔntin we de na yu maynd, instead fɔ da tɛm de fɔ de yu wan, yu kin fil se dɛn lɛk yu, dɛn de nia yu, ɛn dɛn valyu yu.

Wetin wi go du we wi fil se na wi wangren de?

Okay, mek wi se yu de fil se yu wan de. Dɔn, bifo wi strɛs wit da filin de, lɛ wi si wetin yu go du fɔ win am ɛn mek yu maynd izi.

Fɔs, no dis filin, gi am nem.

If yu fil se yu wangren de, fɔs jɔs wach aw yu de fil. Se to yusɛf, "A de fil lɛk se a de mi wan rayt naw." If yu no wetin mek yu de fil da we de, tɛl yusɛf se, "Sɔntɛm a de fil se na mi wangren de bikɔs mi mama nɔ de igen," ɔ "Sɔntɛm mi padi vɛks pan mi..."

"Nɔ fɛt dis filin fɔ de yu wan. Nɔ du yusɛf mɔ bad bay we yu tink se na bad tin. Di tru na dat, yu want fɔ pul am. I go go insay sɔm tɛm. Bɔt bifo dat, no se yu gɛt da filin de, gi yusɛf smɔl tɛm fɔ aksept am."

Dɔn, tray fɔ du sɔm pan dɛn tin ya fɔ mek yu maynd rilaks.

Wae yu dɔn no da filin de, yu kin tray wan ɔr mɔr pan dɛn tin ya fɔ ɛp yu fɔ fil fayn ɛn nɔr de yu wan:

• Fɛn padi: Kɔl pɔsin ɛn tɔk fɔ sɔm tɛm, ple gem, ɔ du ɔda tin togɛda. We una de togɛda, we una de laf togɛda, da filin de we una kin fil se una de wan kin dɔn kwik kwik wan, lɛk smok we de blo na di briz.

• Spend tɛm wit yu famili: Kɔl yu mama, papa, grani, granpa, ɔ yu brɔda ɛn sista dɛn ɛn aks dɛn fɔ spɛn sɔm tɛm wit yu. Sɔntɛm una kin ple smɔl gem togɛda, go waka fɔ shɔt tɛm, ɔ ɛp na di kichin fɔ mek it.We una de laf, tɔk, ɛn gladi togɛda, una kin fil se dɛn lɛk una ɛn kia fɔ una, ɛn we una de wan nɔ kin go.

• Bi gud, du sɔntin: Du smɔl fayv fɔ sɔmbɔdi, tɔk fayn wɔd. I kin bi yu neba, ticha, pɔsin we de pas, ɔ ivin pɔsin we de na os. We yu de ɛp ɔda pipul dɛn, yu kin fil lɛk se yu valyu na yu famili, skul, ɔ kɔmyuniti. We yu fil se yu na pɔsin in yon ɛn dɛn nid yu, yu nɔ kin fil se yu wangren de.

• Bi padi: Smayl ɛn se, "Aw yu de?" to ɔlman we yu mit. I kin bi padi, klasmet, nyu pɔsin. Ɔ i kin bi ticha, pɔsin we de kɔndɔkt bɔs, ɔ pɔsin we de wok na shɔp. We yu na padi (ilɛksɛf na jɔs fɔ smayl ɔ fɔ wɔd), ɛn ɔda pipul dɛn na padi to yu, di filin fɔ de yu wan go dɔn.

• Tɔk bɔt aw yu de fil: If yu fil se yu wangren de, tɛl pɔsin we yu biliv aw yu de fil ɛn wetin mek yu de fil. I kin bi yu mama, papa, bɛst padi, brɔda, sista, ticha – sɔntɛm ivin yu animal we yu lɛk. We yu de tɔk bɔt aw yu de fil, we pɔsin de lisin ɛn ɔndastand yu, yu kin fil se yu de nia yu ɛn kɔrej yu instead fɔ de yu wan. Yu kin sheb gladi at bak dis we.

• Ɛnjɔy yu wan tɛm: Sɔntɛnde, fɔ de yu wan kin fayn, i kin fri yu maynd. Sɔntɛm yu want fɔ de yu wan ɛn rid buk, drɔ, lisin to siŋ, dans, rayd bayk, siŋ, du kraft, mek sɔntin we intrestin – ɔ jɔs sidɔm ɛn tink na do na di winda. Fɔ de yu wan nɔr nid fɔ min fɔ fil lɛk yu wan ɔltɛm. Yu kin bi yu yon bɛst padi, spɛn tɛm wit yu yon tink, du tin dɛn we yu lɛk.

• Spend sɔm tɛm wit nature: If i pɔsibul, go na do. Tek sɔm tɛm fɔ luk di skay, di klawd, di fayn fayn tik dɛn, di flawa dɛn. Lisin to di bɔd dɛn we de siŋ, di lif dɛn de rɔsh. Fil di smel ɛn sawnd dɛn we de rawnd yu. Fil di briz na yu fes, di grɔn ɔnda yu fut. If yu want, stret yu an dɛn ɔp ɛn luk di skay. Tek dip briz ɛn pul di briz smɔl smɔl. Ekspiriɛns di fayn fayn filin fɔ bi pat pan dis big wɔl, dis fayn fayn nature.

Smɔl mɔ bɔt fɔ de yu wan...

Fɔ tru, natin nɔ bad fɔ fil se na yu wangren de sɔntɛnde. Na rili nɔmal, mɔtalman filin. We yu fil da we de, du gud to yusɛf, sɔri fɔ yusɛf. Bɔt mɛmba se, nɔ mek dis filin fɔ de yu wan kɔntrol yu wan ol de, ɔl yu maynd, yu gladi at. We yu dɔn ɔndastand aw yu de fil, yu dɔn no naw se yu kin du tin dɛn fɔ mek yu fil fayn ɛn fɔ pul da we de we yu de yu wan.

Wan ɔda tin na dat, ɔda pipul dɛn kin ɛp yu fɔ fil fayn.Imajin, if yu fil dis filin fɔ de yu wan fɔ sɔm dez, maybe ivin wik, if i afɛkt yu ɛvride aktiviti dɛm (stɔdi, wok, wok na os), if yu fil sɔri ɔltɛm, if yu de vɛks ɔltɛm, ɔ if yu fil se yu nid mɔ ɛp, den fɔ tru fɔ tɔk to big pɔsin we yu trɔst – i kin bi mama ɔ papa, ticha, yunivasiti advaysa, ɔ dɔktɔ we yu trɔst – bɔt dis. I rili impɔtant. I kin bi sɔntin we pas fɔ de yu wan, so i fayn fɔ mek yu gɛt ɛp frɔm pɔsin we sabi du in wok.

So, yu tink se i fayn fɔ mɛmba dis?

A tink se yu dɔn lan bɔku tin frɔm wetin wi dɔn tɔk bɔt. Fɔ de wi wan na sɔntin we wi ɔl kin fil sɔntɛnde. Bɔku tin dɛn de we wi kin du fɔ bia wit am ɛn kɔmɔt pan am, ɛn wi nɔ go mek i bi big prɔblɛm.

• Fɔ de yu wan na sɔri, yu wan wae yu kin fil lɛk yu wan, lɛk yu nɔr gɛt ɛnibɔdi, ɛn nɔbɔdi nɔr ɔndastand yu. Bɔt na sɔntin we wi ɔl kin fil se wi gɛt wanwɔd.
• Wetin mek yu fil se yu wangren de? Bɔku rizin dɛn kin de, lɛk fɔ de yu wan we yu nɔ gɛt pɔsin we yu lɛk, fɔ vɛks pan pɔsin, fɔ nɔ gɛt ɛnibɔdi fɔ tɔk to, fɔ lɛ ɔda pipul dɛn lɛf am, ɛn fɔ bizi wit dɛn yon wok.
• If yu fil se yu wangren de, fɔs no ɛn gri wit da filin de. Dɔn tray fɔ spɛn tɛm wit yu padi, fambul, ɛp pɔsin, bi padi wit ɔda pipul dɛn, tɔk bɔt aw yu de fil, ɛnjɔy yu wan tɛm, ɛn kɔnɛkt wit di nature.
• Pan ɔl we dis filin na nɔmal tin, if i kɔntinyu fɔ de, if i fil bad, if i afɛkt yu layf ɛn di tin dɛn we yu de du ɛvride, mek shɔ se yu tɔk to big pɔsin we yu kin abop pan, dɔktɔ, ɔ pɔsin we de advays yu. I go gi yu bɔku fridɔm.

Di men tin na dat, yu nɔ de ɛva rili de yu wan. Sɔmbɔdi de ɔltɛm fɔ aks fɔ ɛp, pɔsin de fɔ tɔk to, pɔsin fɔ tɛl yu aw yu de fil. Na wetin yu fɔ du na fɔ es yu an.

` Fɔ de yu wan, Mental Wɛlbɔdi, Imɔshɔn, Advays, Pikin, Big pipul, Fɔ de yu wan