I ngaihtuahnate chiang tak leh zah taka sawi chhuah dan i hria em? Nirogi Lanka nen hian Assertiveness chungchang hi han sawi dun ila!

Vawiin hian i nun atana thil pawimawh tak tak kan sawi dawn a ni. Khawi hmunah pawh—ṭhiante nen, in lamah, hnathawhna hmunah emaw, lehkha i zir laiin emaw —a tawi zawngin, i kalna apiangah ṭanpui thei tur thiamna a ni. He thiamna hi Assertiveness an ti a . He term hi i lo hre tawh mai thei. A awlsam zawngin, assertiveness chu i ngaihtuahna, mamawh leh ngaihdan dik tak, chiang tak, leh zah taka sawi chhuah theihna a ni , mi dangte tihnat loh emaw, mahni hlutna tihchhiat loh emaw a ni.

Assertive nihna hian eng nge a awmzia tak tak?

Assertiveness hi inbiakpawhna hrisel tak angin ngaihtuah rawh . Midang zahna vawng reng chungin mahni tana ding chhuak thei hi a ni. Hei hi a pawimawh em emna dinhmun chhiar sen loh nitin kan hmachhawn thin—duhzawng sawina emaw, zirtirtu zawhna zawh emaw, hna emaw, university interview-a i inlannaah emaw, hlawhtling taka inlan emaw pawh ni se.

Mahse, assertiveness hi innate trait a ni ngai lo. Mi thenkhat chu an passive lutuk thin ; anmahni rilru put hmang chu an thunun a, buaina awm lo tûrin mi dang zawng zawng nên an inrem mai a ni. Mi dangte chuan chetsual lutuk lam an hawi a ; thil dang zawng aiin anmahni mamawh an dah pawimawh ber a, mi dangte aia thu an sawi emaw, ngaihthlâk an nih theih nân an au emaw fo ṭhîn. Assertiveness chu a lai takah chuan chu balance famkim chu a ni.

Assertive nih hian i ti thei tihna a ni:

• I ngaihdan leh rilru put hmang chu tlang takin sawi rawh.
• I mamawh chu chiang takin dil rawh.
• Mi dangte nen zah takin inrem lo rawh .
• I ngaihdan leh rawtnate chu rintlak takin sawi rawh.
• Inthiam lohna nei lovin “ni lo” ti rawh.
• A tul hunah midang tan ding chhuak rawh.

Engvangin nge hei hi kan tan a pawimawh em em?

Assertive taka inbiak hian i mamawh chu i hmu thei a, mahse chu aia thuk zawk chu a ni. Assertive nih hian i chhehvela mite i ngaih pawimawh ang bawkin nangmah i hlut tihna a ni.

Mimal assertive tak takte chuan an inrintawkna leh mahni inrintawkna an neih thu an signal thin. An hlauthawng lo va, midang pawh an bulldoze lo. An rilru put hmang leh ngaihtuahnate hian hlutna a nei tih an hre chiang hle. Mahni inrintawkna nasa tak an nei a ni .

Assertive mite chuan anmahni mamawh leh mi dangte mamawh zah zawnga inbiakpawhna an neih avângin ṭhian siam chu an awlsam zâwk fo ṭhîn. Inrem lohna leh inrem lohna chingfel thiam tak an ni bawk. Mi dangte zah taka i enkawl hian an zahna chu i hlawh let leh a ni.

Passive, Aggressive, nge Just Right?

Engtin nge assertiveness scale-ah hian khawiah nge i tlak tih i hriat theih ang? Entirna thenkhat chu hetiang hi a ni:

Nimali (Too Passive): Nimali hi eng movie nge en duh tih i zawh chuan, “Ka hre lo... eng nge i duh ang?” Mi dangte chu thu tlûkna siam tûrin a phal ṭhîn a, a hnuah chuan a duhzâwng ngaihthah a nih avângin a thinrim hle a ni. Pawl khata ngaihthlak a nih theih nan a bei nasa hle a, thawhhlawk a tum hian a thusawi chu a zawi hle a, an sawiho fo thin.

Surekha (Too Aggressive): Surekha hian a ngaihtuahna sawi chhuah kawngah harsatna a nei lo va, mahse ring tak, thunun thei takin a ti thin. Inbiakna chu a hijack fo va, mi dangte a titawp fo va, a ngaithla tlem hle bawk. I thusawi a pawm loh chuan, chu chu a hriattîr a ni—a châng chuan nuihzatna hmangin emaw, rilru tihnat hmangin emaw. Bossy leh ngaihsak lo tak anga hmingthang tak a ni.

Chamal (Assertive): Chamal-a ngaihdan i zawh chuan rinawm takin a share thin. I thusawi chu a inrem lo a nih chuan chiang takin a sawi a ni—mahse, i hmusit lo emaw, dik lo anga inhriatna emaw siam lovin. Chamal hian i ngaihdan hi a ngaihven tak zet a, active takin a ngaithla thin. A remtih loh pawhin i ngaihdan a zah hle niin i la hria.

Passive lutuk avanga a rah chhuah...

Passive lutuk te hian midangin an hlawkpui ang maiin an inhria fo thin. Chu chuan lungngaihna te, thinrimna te, a nih loh leh lungngaihna te a thlen thei a ni.

I ngaihtuahna leh rilru put hmang i khar tlat chuan midangte chuan nangmah tak tak chu an hre thei lo va, an hrethiam thei lo bawk. Chu bâkah, i pawl chuan i ngaihtuahna leh rawtna danglam takte hlutna chu an hloh a ni.

I ngaihtuahna emaw, i rilru put hmang emaw chu a pawimawh lo tih i hriat tan chuan i inrintawkna ( Confidence ) chu a tlahniam thei a ni. Chu bâkah, i thawhhlawkzia hriatpuina i dawng tûr chu i hloh bawk. Hun a kal zel a, hei hian depression ang chi dinhmun pawh a thlen thei a ni.

Hriat reng tur: I aw hi a hlu a ni. Ti ngawih ngawih suh!

I chetsual lutuk chuan eng nge thleng ang?

Thiltih râpthlâk lutukte chuan ṭhian ṭha tak neih chu an harsat fo ṭhîn. Inbiakna thunun a, mi dangte chunga an ngaih dân an nawr luih avângin, mite chu ngaihsak loh leh zah loh anga inhriatna an neihtîr a ni.

Aggressive style chuan mi pakhat chu hun rei lote chhungin a duhzawng a pe thei a, mahse mi dangte hnawlna emaw, thinrimna emaw a thlen fo thin. A tawpah chuan an rualpuite zahna an hloh ta a ni.

Engvangin nge mi zawng zawng hi an assertive vek loh?

Engvângin nge mi ṭhenkhat chuan passive emaw, aggressive emaw thiltih an hman? A chhan lian ber chu mize (personality) a ni . Kan tih dan leh nun tawn te hian hmun a chang bawk. Kan chhehvêla mite, a bîk takin min enkawltu te enfiahna hmangin passive, aggressive, emaw assertive emaw nih kan zir fo ṭhîn.

Mi pakhatin a passive lutuk theih chhan thenkhat chu hetiang hi a ni :

• Mahni inrintawk lohna emaw, mahni ngaihdan ngaih pawimawh lohna emaw.
• Midang tih lawm emaw, mi zawng zawng duhzawng nih emaw mamawh lutuk .
• Mi dangte’n an ngaih dân an chhân lêt dân tûr lungkhamna , a nih loh leh hnawl hlauhna.
• Sawiselna laka rilru natna sang tak , emaw, an rilru put hmang hnawhchhuah emaw, hnawlna tuar emaw chanchin .
• Assertive nih dan hriatna lama thiamna tihhmasawn tlakchhamna .

Mi pakhatin a chetsual lutuk tirtu thilte chu:

• Inrintawk lutuk emaw, chapona emaw.
• Mahni mamawh ngaih pawimawh lutuk leh midangte chunga an duhzawng nghah duhna.
• Midangte mamawh leh ngaihdan zah dan emaw, ngaihtuah dan emaw zir loh .
• Active taka ngaihthlak leh midang input dilna lama practice tlakchhamna .

Mi pakhat chu assertive tak tak nihna lam pan tura puitu chu hetiang hi a ni :

• Mahni inrintawkna nghet tak neih .
• I ngaihtuahna leh i rilru put hmangte chu a dik a, chu chu sawi chhuah theihna i nei tih ring .
• Resilience —sawiselna, hnawlna, leh harsatnate mawi taka hmachhawn thiamna.
• Midang duhdan leh mamawh zahsak .
• Assertiveness atana entawn tur tha tak tak neih.
• I ngaihtuahna leh assertive communication chu tun hmain hlut a ni tih hriat reng .

Engtin nge assertive zawk i nih theih ang?

Assertive nih chuan inbiakpawhna thiamna neih leh rilru hrisel neih a ngai a ni. Mi ṭhenkhat chu an pianphungah an insum thei a, ṭhenkhat erawh chuan practice tam zâwk an mamawh mai thei . Amaherawhchu, mi zawng zawngin he thiamna hi kan tichangtlung thei a ni.

A tih dan tur chu hetiang hi a ni:

A hmasain, tûna i inbiak dân chu ngaihtuah teh—i passive zâwk, i râpthlâk zâwk em, a nih loh leh i insûm zâwk em? Passivity tihtlem emaw, i aggression tihziaawm emaw, i natural assertive traits tihchangtlun lehzual emaw i mamawh em tih chu rel rawh.

Passivity tihtlem leh assertiveness tihpun nan:

• I ngaihtuahna, i rilru put hmang, leh i duhzawngte chu ngaihtuah reng ang che . Hengte hi midangte hnena i sawi chhuah hmain nangmah ngeiin i hriat chian a ngai a ni.
• Zawhna i chhanna chu "Ka hre lo," "Ka ngaihtuah lo," emaw, "Eng pawh a tha" tih hmanga i chhan fo chuan chhinchhiah rawh . Hetiang hi ti tawh suh. Thil tenawm takah pawh i duhzawng sawi chhuah chu practice rawh. Entirnan, "Green zawk nge sen hi i duh zawk?" "Green zawk hi ka duh zawk—ka lawm e," i ti thei ang.
• Dilna siam dan practice rawh . Entirnan: "Khawngaihin spoon min pass thei ang em?" "Pen ka mamawh; tu emaw hian spare an nei em?" "Khawngaihin thutna ka nei thei ang em?" Hei hian a hnua dilna pawimawh zawk siam tura i mamawh inrintawkna a siam a ni.
• I ngaihdan sawi rawh . Movie emaw, thupui emaw chungchânga i ngaihdan sawi la, chutianga i ngaih chhan sawi rawh.
• "Ka duh...", "Ka duh...", "I feel..." tih ang chi "I-statement" hman dan practice rawh.
• Thusawi thiam tak entawn tur zawng rawh—mi nawr luih leh rilru na lutuk lo mi. An mizia ṭha ber berte chu i mirror thei em tih en rawh.
• I ngaihtuahna leh ngaihdan chu midang zawng zawng ang bawkin a pawimawh tih hi inhriat nawn tir la . Mahni hlutna hriat hi assertiveness lungphum a ni a, chu chuan mahni inzahna leh midang zahna a inthlau hle.

Aggression tihtlem leh assertiveness tihpun nan:

• Midangte thusawi theihna tur hmun siam rawh .
• Midang i titawp em tih enfiah rawh . Chutianga i tih lai i man chuan, "Aw, ka ngaidam e—khawngaihin kal zel rawh," tih mai la, mi dang chu titawp rawh.
• Mi dangte ngaihdan zawt la , an chhânna chu dik takin ngaithla rawh.
• I inrem loh hunah chuan mi dang hmusit lovin sawi chhuah tum ang che . "Chu chu ngaihdan âwm lo tak a ni," tih ai chuan, "Chutiang kalphung chu ka pawm tak tak lo," tih tum rawh. Mi pakhat mizia beih ai chuan a nungchang lam ngaihtuah zawk rawh: "Midang ngaihdan an ngaihtuah lo niin ka hria."
• Assertiveness balance tha thei tur role model zawng la, an zahna lantir dan chu mirror tum rawh.

Naturally assertive tak takte pawhin hma an sawn zel thei a ni:

• Entawn tur zawng chhunzawm zel rawh . Zirna hi nun chhung zawnga thil tih a ni a, i bul tanna tur chu eng pawh ni se!
• Engtikah nge i assertive ber tih hre rawh . Mite chu dinhmun hrang hrangah an awm dan a inang lo. A tam zâwk chuan ṭhiante nêna inssertive taka awm chu thil awlsam tak ni mah se, thuneihna neitu emaw, an hriat tharte emaw nên an buaipui ṭhîn. Thil harsa tak i hmachhawn hunah, "Ka thian tha ber nen kan inbia a nih chuan engtin nge he thil hi ka hmachhawn ang?"

Assertive taka inbiak hian mahni inrintawkna a lantir a ni. Assertiveness siam hi i best self nih theihna tura hmalakna pawimawh tak a ni!

I take-home message kha

Tunah chuan assertiveness chungchangah hian hriatthiamna chiang zawk i neih ka beisei. Hei hi zan khat thil thuah a thleng lo tih hre reng ang che. Mahse, practice reng reng chuan inthlak danglamna tha tak i hmu ngei ang.

• I rilru put hmang, i ngaihtuahna leh i mamawhte chu a dik a ni. Thup suh.
• Passive emaw, aggressive emaw pawh ni suh. Style pahnih hian an that lohna an nei ve ve.
• Assertiveness tih awmzia chu mahni leh midangte zah chungin rinawm taka thusawi tihna a ni.
• Tlem atanga tan rawh. "A nihna takah chuan hei hi chu chu ai chuan ka duh zawk" tih ang chi thil awlsam tak tak sawiin practice rawh.
• Midangte thusawi tha takin ngaithla rawh . Assertiveness hi kawng hnih inbiakna a ni a, mahni aw chauh ni lovin.
• I tihsual emaw, "ni lo" tih i mamawh emaw chuan thiam loh chantir suh .

Heng thil tenawm tak takte hi i nitin nunah telh tum ang che. I inlaichînna a ṭhat chhoh zêl leh i chhûngril lama remna nasa zâwk i hriat thuai ang. Nirogi Lanka hnen atangin vanneihna tha ber!

Inbiakpawhna, Rilru hriselna , Assertiveness, Mahni inrintawkna, Mihring inlaichinna, Emotion Management , Nun hrisel