Hnawlna chu eng nge ni? Kan sawi dawn nia!

Nunnaah thil zawng zawng kan zawng vek a ni lawm ni? A châng chuan chu thilte chu a kal ṭha famkim a, mahse a châng chuan a chhânna chu ‘ni lo’, a nih loh leh ‘thei lo’ tih a ni. Hetianga hnawl nih hi thil harsa leh hrehawm tak a ni thei tak zet a ni. Mahse, eng nge i hriat? Hei hi khawvela mi zawng zawngin engtik lai pawha kan hmachhawn thin thil tlanglawn tak a ni.

Hnawlna chu eng nge ni?

A awlsam zawngin sawi ila, hnawlna chu i beisei ang thil emaw, i beisei tak tak emaw, i dil tawh thil emaw i hmuh loh vang a ni. Thil lian tak a ni thei a, i thawhrim em emna job interview atana thlan loh ang chi pawh a ni. A nih loh leh thil tenawm tak a ni thei a, ṭhiante nena in sawi fiamthu chu tumahin an nuihzat loh ang mai a ni. Engti kawng pawhin, a la na deuh a ni lawm ni?

Engvangin nge hnawlna hian min tihnat em em?

Tunah chuan, "Engvangin nge he thil tenawm tak hian min ti na em em?" Dik tak chuan, engvangin nge hnawlna hian a ti na em em? Ngaihtuah teh, mihring kan nih angin midangte min pawm, min hmangaih, an pawla min telh kan duh vek. Hei hi kan rilru lam mamawh bulpui ber a ni. Chuvangin, miin min hnar hian kan hriat lohvin hnawl ang maiin kan inhria a, duh loh ang maiin kan inhria a, kan hlut loh ang maiin kan inhria.

Mak tak maiin scientific study thenkhatah chuan taksa natna kan hriat laia kan thluak peng hrang hrangte hi miin min hnawl hian rilru natna kan neih pawhin a thawk chhuak ve tho tih an hmuchhuak ! Chumi awmzia chu kan thluak hian emotional pain hi ‘pain’ angin a en tak tak tihna a ni. Chuvang chuan hnawl hi a chang chuan tuar harsa tak a ni thei.

Thil lian, thil tenawm – hnawlna hi hmun tinah a awm.

Kan sawi tawh ang khan hnawlna hi thil lian takah chauh a innghat lo. Heng entîrnate hi han en teh:

• University course i dilnaah khan phurna nasa tak leh beiseina sang tak nen pawm i ni lo.
• School sports team -ah ka lut ngei ang tih ka ngaihtuah a , mahse a tawpah chuan ka hming chu list-ah a tel lo.
• I duh tak tak, i ngaihsak pawh ngai lo, i hma ngeia midang zawng zawng nena nuihzat leh inbiakna neih tan chuan.
• I thian tha ber nia i ngaih kha hrilh lovin midang nen zin nuam takah an kal a.

Hengte hi thil lian zawk, thil pawimawh zawk thenkhat an ni. Mahse, heng thil tenau zawk, nitin thil tih ang chi hi a awm bawk:

• Group hmaa fiamthu i sawi kha tumahin an nuihzat loh thu.
• Zanriah ei dawhkanah tumahin ṭhutphah an keng lo che tih hi.
• I thianpa hnenah message i thawn a, mahse an hmu a mahse an chhang lo .
• Miin i dish siam chu "a thlum lo" a tih chuan.

Heng ang thil tenau te pawh hi kan han belhkhawm chuan kan rilruah phurrit lian tak a lo ni thei a ni. Kan self-esteem , chu chu kan inrintawknaah nghawng lian tak an nei thei a ni. Mahniah pawh kan beidawng thei a ni.

Engtin nge hnawlna i hmachhawn?

Okay, chuti a nih chuan hetiang thil a thlen hian engtin nge hlawhtling taka kan hmachhawn ang? Engtin nge kan thinlunga hrehawmna, lungngaihna leh thinurna lo chhuakte hi kan tihziaawm? Step khat hnu step khatin eng nge kan tih theih tih i lo en ang u.

1. I rilru put hmang hrethiam la, awm tir rawh.

A pawimawh ber chu hnawl i nih hunah i rilru put hmang thup tum loh hi a ni. Lungngaihna, thinrim, beidawng, hlauhna – heng zawng zawng hi thil pangngai tak, mihring rilru put hmang a ni vek. "Aw, hei hi keimah chauh a ni em?" emaw "Ka chak loh vangin hetiang hian ka inhria." I lungngaih chuan rei vak lo mahni chauha awm la, tap rawh. I thinrim chuan tumah emaw, nangmah emaw ti na lo turin chhuah tir rawh (pillow vuak hmangin, emaw, rei vak lo tlanbo pawhin!). I rilru put hmang hriatthiam a, lo kal phalsak hi damna kawng hmasa ber a ni.

2. Nangmah chauh i ni lo tih hre reng ang che.

Hei hi thil pawimawh tak a ni. Khawvelah hian hnawl ngai lo mi hmuh a har khawp mai. Tunlaia mi hlawhtling ber ber i hmuh, i duh ber actor, singer, athlete, emaw sumdawng emaw pawh hi an dam chhungin engtik lai pawhin hnawl an ni tawh a, vawi za chuang pawh a ni mai thei. Hei hi i harsatna mai a ni lo, hei hi i harsatna a ni lo. Hei hi i hriatthiam hunah chuan tlemin i thlamuang ang a, nangmah chauh i inhria lovang.

3. I ngaihtuahna tha lote chu ‘Tawi’ rawh

Hnawlna kan tawn hian kan rilruah ngaihtuahna tha lo, mahni inngaihsakna a lo awm tan thin. ‘Ka hlutna nei lo,’ ‘Tuman min duh lo,’ ‘Engmah ka tan a hlawhtling ngai lovang,’ ‘Ka sualna zawng zawng a ni’ tih ang chi te. Heng ngaihtuahnate hi a lo thlen chuan a dik anga pawm mai mai suh.

Chu ngaihtuahnate chu a dik em tih leh eng chen nge a dik tih inzawt rawh.

Entir nan:

• ‘Ka tangkai lo,’ tia i ngaihtuah chuan, ‘Chutiang chu ka ni tak tak em? Tun hmain thil tha ka la ti lo em ni? Chutiang chu ka ti tha a ni lawm ni?’ a ti a.
• ‘Tuman min duh lo’ tia i ngaihtuah chuan, ‘Tuman an duh tak tak lo em ni? Ka nu leh pa, ka thianpa Arya te hian min hmangaih a ni.'

Chutianga i ngaihtuahna ṭha lote chu i dodâl chuan, zawi zawiin a nghawng chu i tihtlem thei ang.

4. I hlutna chu nangmahin i ruat a, midang tumahin i ruat lo.

Miin a hnawl che vang mai mai chuan i hlutna chu zero a ni tihna a ni lo. I hlutna te, i theihna te, i mizia tha te hi mi dangin an ngaihtuah danah a innghat a, thutlukna an siam danah a innghat lo.Nangmah ngeiin i nihna, theihna leh duhthusam i nei a. Chu thilte chu hlut rawh. Hnawlna hi thil thleng pakhat chauh a ni a, chu chuan i nun pum pui, i hlutna chu a hril suh ang che.

5. He thil tawn atang hian thil zir la, thil thar ngaihtuah rawh.

A châng chuan, hnawlna apiang aṭangin zirlai hlu tak kan zir thei a ni.

• I tih tum tawh kha i tan a ni tak tak lo tih i hrechhuak mai thei. Chutiang a nih chuan kawng thar, tum thar, i duh zawk, i hmangaih tak tak i thlang thei ang.
• I thawhrimnaah hian tlin lohna tenau dang tlemte a awm tih i hre mai thei a, chu chu i siam that chuan a rah chhuah chu a danglam thei ang. Tichuan, a dawt leh hunah chuan chutiang tihsualte chu i ti lo tih i chiang thei ang.

Hnawlna hian kawng tawp tihna a ni lo va, kawng tha zawka i tan turning point pawh a ni thei. Chuvângin, thil thlengte ngaihtuah reng a, hun kal tawha innghah ai chuan, i rilru chu thiltum thar, hobby thar, leh thil tharte lamah dah la.

6. Ṭanpuina dil hi hlau ngai suh.

Heng zawng zawng karah pawh hian a chang chuan hetiang dinhmun atang chauha chhuah hi kan tan a harsa thei hle. Kan hrehawm tawrh chu tuar theih loh a ni thei. Chutiang hunah chuan, i rintlak mi nêna he thu hi sawipui hian thlamuanna leh ṭanpuina nasa tak a pe thei che a ni.

• Chu chu i ṭhian ṭha ber a ni thei.
• I nu, i pa, i unaupa, a nih loh leh i chhûngte pawh a ni thei.
• I zirtirtu ka ni thei.
• A châng chuan, professional counselor , psychologist/psychiatrist , emaw, heng chi hrang hranga ṭanpui tûra zir chhuah therapist hnen aṭanga ṭanpuina dil a phu hle. Zak tur emaw, tlawm zawka inhriatna tur emaw a ni lo. Doctor kan hmuh a, khawsik emaw, flu emaw kan neih chuan damdawi kan ei ang bawkin, rilru lama harsatna nei tanpuina lak pawh a pawimawh hle.

Engtin nge hnawl hnuah chak zawk kan nih theih ang?

Hnawlna hi thil hrehawm tak a ni a, rinhlelh rual a ni lo. Mahse, chatuan atan min tihchak a ngai lo. Dik tak chuan heng thil tawnte hi nunah chak zawk, chhel zawka kan awm theih nan kan hmang thei a ni. Hei hi (Resilience) an ti a, chu chu nunah harsatna, harsatna, leh tlakchhiatna atanga rang taka harhchhuah leh tho leh theihna tihna a ni.

• I chaknate hriat chian: Mi tin hian theihna bik emaw, chakna bik emaw kan nei vek a. I thiamna te, i mize ṭhate chu eng nge ni tih zawng chhuak la, chu chu tihhmasawn lehzual tum ang che.
• Thil \ha ngaihtuahna hmang rawh: Engkim hi dum leh var, a \ha leh \ha lo-a hmuh ai chuan, dinhmun tinrenga thil \ha, zir tur thil hmuh tum ang che.
• Hnehna tenau te pawh lawm rawh: Goal lian tak takI hmasawn zel chuan hnehna tenau i neihte chu ngaihlu la, hlim takin awm rawh. Hei hian zawi zawiin i inrintawkna a tipung ang.
• Mahni inkhawngaihna: Thil tihsual i neih emaw, hnawlna i tawn hunah emaw, nangmah leh nangmah mawhpuh suh, mahni inngaihsak suh, mahni inkhawngaihna leh ngilnei takin awm rawh. ‘Mihring ka ni a, ka tisual bawk a, emotion ka nei bawk a, chu chu thil pangngai a ni’ tih hi ngaihtuah rawh.

Hriat reng tur chu, tlu chungchang a ni lo, tho leh tur a ni! Tluk apiang chu chak zawka thawh theihna hun remchang siam rawh.

A tawi zawngin... (Take-Home Message)

Chuvangin, vawiina kan sawiho atang hian hnawl hi kan nunah thil pangngai a ni tih chiang takin in hrethiam tawh ngei ang. Tu chungah pawh, kum eng pawhah, engtik lai pawhin a thleng thei. Tumah hi chu a laka him lo an awm lo. A pawimawh ber chu hnawlna hian a thlen hunah i self-worth zawng zawng a sawifiah loh hi a ni. I rilru put hmang hrethiam la, hrisel taka hmachhawn dan zir rawh. Mahni chauha tih chu harsa nia i hriat chuan, i rintlak mi hnên aṭanga ṭanpuina dîl hreh suh. Thil tawn apiangah zirlai hlu tak zir chhuak la, chak zawk la, nun hi inrintawkna nen hmachhawn rawh. I ngaihtuah aiin i chak zawk hle tih hre reng ang che!

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Hnawlna, Rilru hriselna, Mahni Inngaihsakna, Emotion Management, Resilience, Counselling