Ka tere hoki tō riri? Me kōrero tāua mō te whakahaere i te riri?

Ka riri ohorere koe ina tūtaki koe ki tētahi i runga i te pahi, ina pā atu rānei koe i tētahi motuka i te huarahi i te huarahi hē? Ka pēhia tō uma, ka wera tō mata? Ka riri tātou katoa i ngā wā rerekē o ō tātou oranga. He mea noa iho. Engari ki te kore e taea e koe te whakahaere i tēnei riri, ka pā nui ki ō whanaungatanga, ki tō mahi, tae atu ki tō hauora tinana. Nō reira, i tēnei rā, me kōrero tātou mō te aha tēnei riri, me pēhea te whakahaere.

He aha te tikanga o te whakahaere riri?

Ko te whakahaere riri te huarahi e whakatau ai tātou i tō tātou riri ina pā mai. He momo hinengaro whakaora hinengaro anō hoki. Hei whakamārama, he wāhanga o te rongoā kōrero "Whakaora Whanoke Hinengaro". Mō tēnei, ka taea e koe te haere ki te wānanga tohutohu takitahi, i roto rānei i te rōpū.

I roto i tēnei maimoatanga, ka mahi tahi koe me tētahi tohunga hinengaro, he kaiwhakatakoto whakaaro whai tohu rānei, hei āwhina i a koe ki te tautuhi i ngā mea e whakaoho ana i a koe, me te whakawhanake i ngā pūkenga me ngā rautaki e hiahiatia ana e koe hei whakatau i aua kare ā-roto i roto i te huarahi hauora. Tērā pea ka ako koe mō:

• He aha te take o te riri me te pehea e whakapuaki ai te tangata i taua riri.
• Ngā pūkenga whakaoti rapanga me te whakawhitiwhiti kōrero.
• Ngā tikanga whakangā.

I ētahi wā, ka tūtohu pea tō kaitohutohu kia kite koe i tētahi atu tākuta hei tohu rongoā hei whakahaere i ngā āhuatanga hauora hinengaro pēnei i te pouri, te manukanuka rānei.

He aha te momo kare ā-roto o tēnei riri?

Whakaarohia, i a koe e ngana ana ki te whakatū i tō waka, kua whakatūria e te tangata i tō taha tana waka ki runga ake i te rārangi, ā, kua tangohia tō wāhi. Ko te kare ā-roto kei roto i tō uma i taua wā ko te riri. Ko te kare ā-roto e pā ana ki a koe ina tapahia ohoreretia koe e tetahi i a koe e hikoi ana i te rori, ko te kare ā-roto e hiahia ana koe ki te titiro ki te whakaata, ko te kare ā-roto e hiahia ana koe ki te kōrero i tetahi mea e puta mai ana i tō waha, ko te riri. Ko te kare ā-roto e hiahia ana te tamaiti nohinohi ki te ngau i te ringa o tetahi ina kore e riro i a ia te mea e hiahiatia ana e ia, ko te kare ā-roto e hiahia ana te tamaiti nohinohi ki te kati i te tatau me te noho ki roto i tōna rūma, ko te riri te take o ēnei katoa.

Nā, he aha te take o tēnei? Ko te riri he urupare kare ā-roto e pā ana ki tētahi āhuatanga. Ka akiaki i a tātou ki te hanga i tētahi huringa. I tēnei wā, ka whakahohehia te pūnaha io o tō tātou tinana, hei whakarite i a tātou mō te 'urupare whawhai, rere rānei' . Ka puta he maha ngā huringa i roto i te tinana.

• Ka tere ake te tere o te manawa me te tere o te manawa.
• Ka tukuna e te tinana ngā homoni ahotea.
• He nui ake te rere o te toto ki ngā uaua.
• Kei te whakakoi te aro.

Mā ēnei katoa ka nui ake te kaha ki te aro atu ki tētahi tūponotanga. Engari kāore te riri e pā tonu ki tētahi tūponotanga tinana. Ka taea hoki e koe te riri i roto i ngā āhuatanga pāpori, pērā i te wā e tautohetohe ana koe ki tētahi hoa, ki tētahi mema rānei o te whānau, ina kite koe i te hē i roto i te hapori, ina kore ō hiahia e tutuki, ina tawai rānei tētahi ki a koe.

He aha te mea ka tupu mēnā ka pupuri tonu koe i te riri?

Ki te pehi koe i tō riri, ka pā ki ō whakaaro me ō whanonga, ā, ka puta, ka kino ake rānei ētahi raruraru tinana. Ko tēnei riri tonu te mea e kīia ana e ngā tākuta he riri mau tonu . Anei ētahi o ngā raruraru hauora ka puta mai i tēnei āhuatanga.

Whakaarohia i roto i te raruraru waka i whakahuatia ake nei, i riri koe, engari i marino koe i muri i te meneti ka peia atu. I puta atu tētahi atu tangata i tana motuka, nā te riri, ka waiho he pepa me ētahi kupu kino ki runga i te motuka o te tangata kē. I ngā wā e rua, i riri koe. Engari i te wā tuatahi, i mōhio koe ki te riri, ā, ka tukuna atu. I te wā tuarua, ka horahia e koe taua riri ki tua atu, ā, tera pea kua puritia e koe i roto i tō hinengaro i te rā katoa.

Ko wai e hiahia ana ki te whakahaere i te riri?

Ina hoki, he pai te ako i ngā pūkenga whakahaere riri mō tātou katoa. Ina koa mēnā he mate hinengaro tōu, ka nui te pānga o ēnei maimoatanga ki tō kounga o te oranga me ō whanaungatanga. He mea nui pea tēnei mō te hunga whai mate e whai ake nei:

He aha ngā mea ka tupu i te wā e rongoatia ana?

I roto i ēnei maimoatanga, ka ako koe i ngā pūkenga hei āwhina i a koe ki te mārama he aha koe ka riri ai, me ō kare ā-roto ina riri koe. Tērā pea ka pātai atu tō tākuta, tō kaiwhakatakoto whakaaro rānei ki a koe i ngā pātai pēnei i:

• He aha ngā mea e riri ai koe?
• He aha te mea e tino riri ana koe? He tika te kaha o tō riri mō te āhuatanga?
• He kare ā-roto anō kei muri i tō riri, pērā i te wehi, te manukanuka, te mamae rānei?
• He aha te āhua o tō tinana ina riri koe?

Kātahi ka whakawhanakehia e kōrua ko tō kaiwhakaora hinengaro ngā rautaki me ngā pūkenga hei whakahaere i tō riri. Koinei ngā mea ka taea e koe te whakamahi ina riri koe.

1. Te whakarerekē i tō whakaaro (Te Hanganga Hinengaro)

Kei roto i tēnei ko te whakarerekē i tō tirohanga ki ngā kaupapa. Engari i te noho tonu ki ngā mea kino, ka ako koe ki te whakarerekē i tō tirohanga. Hei tauira, hei utu mō te whakaaro, "Koinei te mea kino rawa atu kua pa ki ahau," ka ako koe ki te whakaaro pono ake, pērā i te, "He kino tēnei, ā, he tika kia pouri mōna, engari ehara i te mutunga o te ao."

2. Ngā Pūkenga Whakawhitiwhiti Kōrero

Ka ako koe i ngā tikanga whakawhitiwhiti kōrero hei āwhina i a koe ki te whakapuaki i tō riri i roto i te huarahi hauora. Ka akohia koe ki te whakahaere i ō tauhohenga me te kōrero mō ō kare ā-roto.

3. Ngā Tikanga Whakangā

Ka taea e ēnei te āwhina i a koe ki te whakamutu i mua i te tauhohe. Ka taea hoki e ēnei te āwhina i a koe ki te whakawātea i tō hinengaro mā te whakamutu i te whakaaroaro i muri i tō whakaoti rapanga. Ka uru atu pea ēnei ki ngā mea pēnei i te whakaaroaro, ngā mahi manawa hōhonu, te yoga rānei.

Ka whakaharatau koe i ēnei pūkenga hou i ngā wā whakaora. Ka akiakihia hoki koe kia whakaharatau ki te kāinga. He mea nui kia whakaharatau koe i ēnei tikanga kia taunga rā anō koe ki ēnei, ā, kia taea rā anō e koe te whakahaere angitu i ngā āhuatanga riri.

Me aha i roto i tētahi āhuatanga ohorere?

Tērā pea he āhua māharahara te kōrero mō ō kare ā-roto me ngā kaupapa o mua i te tīmatanga. Engari ina whakatūria e koe te whakawhirinaki ki tō tākuta, ko te kōrero mō ēnei mea me te whakatuwhera i tō hinengaro he taahiraa nui hei whakapai ake i tō oranga o ia rā.