Kei te rerekē rawa atu te āhua o tō hoa rangatira, o tō hoa rangatira rānei, i mua he tino harikoa, he tino ngahau hoki? Kei te pouri tonu ia, kei te whakaaroaro, kei te kore hoki e aro ki tetahi mea? Kei te whawhai tonu rānei te mutunga o te kōrero ki a ia? Ka tino mamae pea tēnei āhuatanga mō kōrua tokorua. Ina pāngia tētahi o te tangata i roto i te whanaungatanga pēnei, ka pāngia kōrua tokorua e ngā pānga. He maha ngā wā, ko te take o tēnei ko te pouri, ko te mate hinengaro rānei e mōhiotia ana e tātou katoa ko te `(Pouri)`.
He pono rānei nā te pouri te wehenga?
Ki te kī ngāwari, kāo. Ehara te pouri i te tino take o te whakarere. Heoi, ko ngā hua o te kore e whiwhi i te maimoatanga e tika ana, te kore kōrero mō taua mea, me te kore aro ki taua mea, ka waiho hei tino take o te pakaru o te whanaungatanga.
Whakaarohia, he maha ngā wā ka wehe atu te tangata e pāngia ana e te pouri i ngā mea katoa. Kāore ia e hiahia ki te haere ki te mahi, kāore ia e hiahia ki te mahi i ngā mahi o te whare, kāore hoki ia e hiahia ki te kōrero ki ngā hoa, ki te harikoa rānei ki a koe. I ētahi wā ka taea e tēnei wehenga te arahi ki ētahi atu whanaungatanga i waho o te whanaungatanga. Kātahi ka whakaaro pea te tangata kē, "Kua hoha ia ki ahau." Engari ehara tēnā i te pono. Ko te take o taua whanonga ko te mate.
Ko te mea nui, ehara te pouri i te ngoikore, i te mea rānei e mahia ana e koe i runga i te āta whakaaro. He āhuatanga tēnei ka pā ki te katoa, ā, ka taea te rongoā.
Te noho a te tokorua i raro i te tuanui kotahi
He wheako tino uaua tēnei mō te tangata e pāngia ana e te pouri, me koe hoki e noho tahi ana me tēnei raruraru. Mā te mārama ki ngā kare ā-roto o kōrua tokorua ka taea te whakatau i te raruraru.
| Hoa mahi mō te pouri | Ko te hoa rangatira kē atu (koe) |
|---|---|
| E hoha ana ahau ki ngā mea katoa. Kāore he hiahia, he harikoa rānei mōku ki tetahi mea. E ngenge tonu ana ahau. | I te tīmatanga, ka tino pouri ahau, ka pōuri hoki. Ka ngana ahau ki te whakahari i a ia. |
| Tērā pea kāore e taea e koe te moe, tērā pea ka nui rawa rānei tō moe. Tērā pea ka ngaro tō hiahia kai, ka whakamatautauria rānei koe kia kai nui rawa. | Me kawe e au ngā kawenga katoa o te whare me ngā tamariki, ko au anake. Ka tīmata haere te ngenge me te ngenge. |
| E whakama ana ahau, "Nāku i take ai tēnei katoa." Engari kāore au e kite i tētahi ara hei puta atu. | Ka puta ake ki te hinengaro ngā mea pēnei i te "He aha ia te kore ai e taea te wikitoria?" me te "He aha koe te ngana kaha ake ai?". Ka ara ake te riri me te pōuri. |
| Ka heke te hiahia ki te moe. E whakaaro ana koe kāore he tangata e aroha ana ki a koe. | E āhua ana koe kei te whakakahoretia koe. E mokemoke ana koe, e takoto kau ana. E tangi ana koe, "Aue te harikoa o tātou i mua." |
Me pēhea te hurihanga o te aroha hei riri?
I roto i te wā, tērā pea ka kitea e koe kāore e taea e koe te aro atu ki tēnei āhuatanga. He mea noa iho. Ina kore tō hoa e mahi i ngā mea i mahia tahitia e kōrua (mātakitaki kiriata, hokohoko, tūtaki ki ngā hoa), ka noho mokemoke koe. Me mahi ko koe anake i aua mea, me noho rānei ki te kāinga.
Ina kore koe e mārama ki tēnei āhuatanga, ka whakaaro pea koe, "Kāore he he o tā māua marena, he aha i pēnei ai ki a ia?" Engari i ētahi wā ko te take o te pouri he mea nō waho (te ngaronga o te mahi, te mate i roto i te whānau). I ētahi wā anō, ka puta mai i ngā raruraru kāore i kōrerotia i roto i te marena.
Me pēhea taku whiwhi āwhina mō tēnei?
Engari kaua e ngana ki te whakatau i tēnei i a koe anō, he pai ake te rapu awhina a te tohunga.
1. Tirohia he Tākuta: Ko te mea tuatahi me mahi ko te kōrero ki tō tākuta whānau mō ēnei tohu. Māna e whakatau mēnā he pouri tēnei, he mate hauora rānei. Mēnā e tika ana, ka taea e rātou te tuku i a koe ki tētahi tohunga hinengaro.
2. Tohutohu/Whakaora: Mā te kōrero ki tētahi kaiwhakatakoto whakaaro ka āwhina i te tautuhi i ngā take matua e puta ai tēnei āhuatanga.
- Whakaora Takitahi: Ka āwhina tēnei i te tangata e pāngia ana e te pouri ki te kōrero noa mō ō rātou kare ā-roto.
- Whakaora Tamariki: He pai ake mēnā ka taea e ngā taha e rua te haere tahi. Kātahi ka āwhina te kaiārahi i te hanga kōrero i waenganui i te tokorua, me te āwhina i a rāua kia mārama tetahi ki tetahi. Ehara tēnei i te wāhi hei whakapae, engari he wāhi hei whakaoti rapanga.
3. Rongoā: I ētahi wā, ka tohua pea he rongoā ārai pouri me te tohutohu.Tērā pea ka tūtohu tō tākuta kia tangohia ēnei rongoā. Ka āwhina ēnei rongoā ki te whakahoki mai i te kore taurite matū i roto i te roro, me te whakahaere i ngā tohumate. Ka taea e tēnei te āwhina i a koe kia tere ake te ora.
He kōrero pono...
E mōhio ana koe ki te mea i pā ki te tokorua taitamariki i whānau mai tā rāua pēpi? I pāngia te whaea e te pouri i muri i te whānautanga. I a rāua e haere ana ki te kaunihera, i kōrero ia mō ōna wehi me ōna āwangawanga mō te noho hei whaea. Ko te raruraru o te tāne ko te kore o te pai o tōna kāinga. I a rāua e kōrero ana mō ēnei take, ka pai haere te pouri o te wahine. Ka kaha ake tō rāua whanaungatanga i mua.
Karere Tangohia ki te Kāinga
- Ehara te pouri i te ngoikore, he mate e taea te rongoā. Kaua e whakama.
- Ina pāngia tetahi o ngā hoa o te marena e te pouri, ko rāua te raruraru. Kaua e mamae ko koe anake.
- Kaua e whakapae i tō hoa. Kia mārama, kia tautoko hoki i a rātou.
- He mea tino nui te whakawhitiwhiti kōrero tuwhera i waenganui i a kōrua. Kōrerohia ō kare ā-roto i runga i te aroha me te pono.
- Ki te uaua tēnei āhuatanga ki te whakamanawanui, rapua tonutia he tohutohu mai i te tākuta, i te tohunga hinengaro rānei. Mā te maimoatanga tika, ka taea e kōrua te harikoa anō.
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