Kei te whakamahi tō hoa i tana waea pūkoro i a ia e taraiwa ana? E rima ngā huarahi hei whakamutu i tēnei me te kore e whara! (Me kōrero tātou mō te Tuku Karere me te Taraiwa)

I ēnei rā, kei a tātou katoa te "Waea Atamai". Nō reira, kua noho te "kōrerorero" ki ngā hoa me te tirotiro i ngā "pāpāho pāpori" hei mea noa. Engari i ētahi wā, kei reira ētahi tāngata e mahi ana i ēnei mea ahakoa e "taraiwa ana". Kāore ianei i te tino whakamataku? Ki te kite koe i tō hoa, i tō whanaunga rānei e "whakamahi ana" i tā rātou "waea" i a koe e "taraiwa ana", tera pea ka mataku koe. Engari me pēhea e kī atu ai koe kia kaua e mahi? Me kōrero tātou mō tēnā i tēnei rā.

He aha te take he tino morearea ai te "tuku karere kuputuhi me te taraiwa"?

Ki te kī māmā noa iho, he rite te tuku karere kuputuhi i a koe e taraiwa ana ki te taraiwa me te katia ō kanohi. Whakaarohia, kei hea tō aro katoa? I runga i te rori, i runga i ngā motuka kei mua i a koe, i runga i te hunga kei runga i te rori, tika? Ina titiro koe ki tō waea, ka ngaro katoa taua aro. Ahakoa ka titiro koe ki tō waea mō ētahi hēkona, kua neke tō waka i ētahi mita ki mua i roto i aua hēkona torutoru. Ka taea e tetahi mea te tupu i taua wā.

Kua kitea e ētahi rangahau he nui ake te mōrearea o te tuku karere kuputuhi i a koe e taraiwa ana i te taraiwa haurangi! Nā te mea ka tino poto ake tō wā urupare, arā, te wā e pau ana ki te kite i tētahi mea me te tere o te urupare.

Whakaarohia, mēnā ko koe te taraiwa, ā, e pato ana koe i tētahi karere ki tō waea, ā, ka peke mai tētahi tamaiti iti i mua i a koe, ka whiti rānei tētahi kurī i te rori, ka pēhi ohorere rānei te motuka i mua... Āe, kāore e taea e koe te whakaaro i tētahi mea pēnei, tika? Koia mātou e tino aro nui ana ki tēnei. He mea tēnei e whakararu ana i tō oranga, tae atu ki te oranga o ētahi atu.

Me pēhea tātou e kōrero ai i tēnei ki a ia, me te kore e whara i a ia?

Āe, kua mōhio tātou ki te mōrearea o tēnei. Engari ko te tangata e taraiwa ana he hoa pai pea, he whanaunga, he tangata rānei e whakautehia ana e koe. He uaua pea te kōrero ki tētahi pēnei. Tērā pea ka whakaaro koe, "Ka riri ia? Ka hē rānei tana whakaaro mōku?" Engari kia mahara, ko tō haumaru te mea nui rawa atu. Nō reira, me titiro tātou me pēhea te kōrero i tēnei i roto i te huarahi hoa e mārama ana ia. Anei ētahi huarahi:

1. Me kōrero tika tāua? (Te Huarahi Tika)

I ētahi wā, he pai ake te kōrero tika, engari me te aroha, kaua e kōrero kino. Ka taea e koe te kī pēnei:

"Aroha mai [ingoa o te hoa/tuākana/tuahine], engari ka tino mataku/pōuri ahau ina tuku karere koe i a koe e taraiwa ana."

Whakarongo noa ki tāna e kōrero ana. I te nuinga o te wā, ka mārama te tangata whai whakaaro nui, "Āe, ehara tēnei i te mea pai." Mēnā rānei, waiho te waea ki tahaki māu. Ko te mea nui ko te kōrero pono i ō whakaaro, engari kaua e riri, me te marino. Me whakamārama ki a ia kei te aro koe ki tōna haumaru.

2. Me ngana tātou ki te kimi i te uara o te moni? (Te Huarahi Mārama)

Mena he tino uaua rawa te kī tika, he āhua ngāwari rānei te kōrero a te taraiwa, ka taea e koe te kī mā te āhua ā-korekore. Mā ēnei tikanga koe e āwhina ki te whakapuaki i te kaupapa me te kore e whara i te ngākau o tetahi:

• Āwhina atu: "Nā te mea kei te taraiwa koe, ka taea e au te pato i te karere māu?" Mā tēnei ka āwhina i a ia kia mārama kei te kōrero koe mōna e tuku karere ana.
• Kia maumahara koe ki ngā pirihimana: "He nui ngā pirihimana i kite ahau i te tiriti i tēnei rā. Kāore i te pai te tuku karere kuputuhi i tēnei wā, āe?" Ngāna ki te kī i tētahi mea pēnei. Kāore tetahi e pai ki te tiki tīkiti.
• Tohua ngā mea i te huarahi: Tohua ngā mea ka ngaro pea i a ia (ka karohia rānei) nā te mea kei te waea ia i a ia e taraiwa ana. Pātai atu ki a ia pēnei i te, "Āe, tirohia te kurī e whiti ana i te huarahi! Kāore koe i kite i tēnā?" "I kite koe i taua kohua putiputi ataahua i te taha tonu o te toa?" Pērā ai, ka mōhio ia kei hea tōna aro.
• Tukuna he karere ki te tangata e tuku karere ana: Ki te mea kei te tuku karere te tangata e taraiwa ana koe ki tētahi e mōhio ana koe, tonoa te waea ka tukuna atu he karere māu ake, me te kī, "Kei te taraiwa ia, me kōrero tāua ā muri ake nei."
• Kōrerohia tō mataku (mēnā he kata noa iho ia): Tērā pea ka whakatoi te taraiwa i a koe mā te pātai pēnei, "He aha koe i mataku ai?" Whakamahia te wā. Mea atu, "Āe, e tino mataku ana ahau ki te tuku karere kuputuhi i a koe e taraiwa ana. Kāore mātou e mōhio mēnā ko te tangata kei mua i a koe, ko te tangata rānei kei muri i a koe e mahi ana."

3. Te Huarahi "Āe, tirohia te taraiwa kino!"

He mea ngahau pea tēnei, ā, he huarahi pai hoki hei whakahoki i te aro o tō taraiwa ki te rori. Kōrerohia te taraiwa kino a ētahi atu i te rori.

• Ngā tāngata e huri tere ana i te ara.
• Ngā tāngata e haere ana i te huarahi nui mō te 40 tau.
• Ngā tāngata e kore e aro ki te 'tohu mutu'.
• Ngā tāngata e tū ana i te rama matomato.

Tohua atu ngā tāngata pēnei, ka mea atu, "Āe, kāore au i te mōhio ko wai rātou e tuku karere ana." Kātahi ka aro nui tō taraiwa ki te taiao e karapoti ana i a ia, kaua ki te titiro noa ki te mata o tana waea.

4. Me kōrero ngātahi tātou hei rōpū? (Te Huarahi Rōpū)

Ki te mea ehara i a koe anake, engari ko ētahi atu katoa i roto i te motuka e whakaaro ana he mahi morearea te mahi a te taraiwa, me huihui te katoa ki te kōrero mō tēnei mea.

• Tangohia ngā kī: Pērā i te tango i ngā kī o te motuka mai i te tangata haurangi, ka taea hoki e koe te mahi i tēnei āhuatanga. Nā te mea, e ai ki tā mātou i kōrero ai i mua, he rite tonu te mōrearea o te 'tuku karere kuputuhi me te taraiwa' ki te 'taraiwa' i te wā e haurangi ana, ā, tera pea he nui atu.
• Whakatau kia kaua e haere tahi me ia: Ki te huihui mai ētahi tāngata, ka mea mai, "Kāore mātou e haere tahi me koe nā te mea kei te 'whakamahi koe i tō waea' i a koe e 'taraiwa ana,'" ka mārama ia ki te hiranga o taua mea. Ko te tangata e kite ana i ō rātou hoa e whakararuraru ana i a rātou, ka whakaaro rua ia mō ngā whanonga kino.

5. Te Huarahi Whakaora-Ora!

Ahakoa te nui o tāu kōrero ki a rātou, kāore ētahi e mutu i tēnei whanonga kino. Tērā pea ētahi ka kata ki a koe ina kī koe kei te mataku koe. Kaua rawa e tautohetohe ki tētahi tangata pērā. He nui ake te kino o te eke i roto i tētahi motuka me tētahi 'taraiwa' e riri ana, e 'tuku karere ana'.

• Kati rawa te haere tahi me tētahi pērā. Ahakoa he uaua ki a koe te haere pērā, ko tō ake haumaru te mea nui.
• Ki te taea, kōrerotia ki a ia te take e wehi ai koe ki te haere tahi me ia. He pai ake te kōrero tika, me te kī atu, "E wehi ana ahau ki te haere tahi me koe nā te mea kei te tuku karere koe i a koe e taraiwa ana, nō reira kāore au e haere tahi anō me koe." I ētahi wā, mā te whakama ka whakaaroaro rua te tangata mō ngā whanonga kino.
• Heoi anō, ka taea e koe te kī pēnei, "I kī mai tōku pāpā kāore ia e tika kia haere tahi māua nā te mea ka tuku karere koe i a koe e taraiwa ana."

He mea nui: Ehara i te mea ko te hunga rangatahi anake te hunga e pāngia ana e tēnei raruraru 'te tuku karere kuputuhi me te taraiwa'. I ētahi wā ka hē anō hoki ngā pakeke. Mena kei te taraiwa koe me tētahi pakeke, ā, kei te 'whakamahi' rātou i tā rātou 'waea', me kī atu kia mutu. E mōhio ana te nuinga o ngā pakeke kei te kī tonu rātou ki ā rātou tamariki kia kaua e tuku karere kuputuhi, kaua hoki e 'taraiwa'. Nō reira, ina hē tonu rātou, me whakama rātou, ā, me waiho te 'waea' ki tahaki.

Hei whakamutunga, kia maumahara: Ki te tuku karere tonu te taraiwa ki a koe me te kore e whakarongo ki a koe, ki te kata rānei ki a koe ina kī koe kei te mataku koe, kaua e tautohetohe ki a ia. Puta atu i te motuka i te wā e taea ai. A te wā e whai ake nei ka ngana te taraiwa ki te kawe i a koe, whakakorea marietia me te kī "kāo, ngā mihi nui ki a koe." Ko tō haumaru te mea nui ake i tetahi atu mea.

He karere whakamutunga hei kawe ki te kāinga

He mahi tino morearea, he mahi kore kawenga hoki te tuku karere kuputuhi, te tuku īmēra, te tuku pāpāho pāpori i a koe e taraiwa ana. Kāore e taea te whakaaro ki te kino ka pā mai. Mena he pāhihi koe i roto i te waka, ā, kei te mahi te taraiwa i tētahi mea pēnei, he tika tō kōrero mōna. Whakaarohia tō haumaru. Whakamahia ngā tikanga kua kōrerohia e tātou, ā, ngana ki te whakamārama i te taraiwa ki ngā mōrearea o tēnei mea i roto i te aroha, te atawhai, engari te pakari. Tērā pea ka taea e tō wawaotanga te whakaora i tētahi ora. Nō reira, kaua e wehi, kōrerohia. Ka taea e āu kupu te hanga rerekētanga nui!

Te haumaru o te taraiwa, ngā aituā motuka, te whakamahi waea pūkoro, te haumaru o te pāhihi, te taraiwa haumaru, te tuku karere kuputuhi me te taraiwa, te taraiwa whakararuraru