Kodi kunena kuti 'zonse zikhala bwino' kungakhale koopsa? Tiyeni tikambirane za Poison Positivity

Kodi munamva bwanji wina akakuuzani kuti, "Chavuta ndi chiyani, khalani chete," "Khalani ndi chiyembekezo," kapena "Chilichonse chikhala bwino," pamene munali kukumana ndi nthawi yovuta, chisoni, kapena vuto? Nthawi zina, m'malo motichiritsa, mawu amenewo amatipweteka kwambiri. Amatipangitsa kumva ngati palibe amene akumvetsa ululu ndi kuvutika kwathu. Ndicho chimene timachitcha 'poison poison poison poison.' Iyi ndi nkhani yofunika kwambiri. Tiyeni tikambirane za izi mozama.

Kodi kwenikweni Toxic Positivity ndi chiyani?

Mwachidule, Toxic Positivity ndi njira yoyesera kukhala ndi chiyembekezo komanso chisangalalo pamavuto aliwonse kapena achisoni, mwa kukana malingaliro amenewo. Zimatanthauza kulemba malingaliro monga chisoni, mkwiyo, ndi mantha ngati 'oipa', kuwaletsa, ndikuyesera kusonyeza malingaliro 'abwino' okha. Timachita izi kwa ife tokha, komanso kwa ena.

Tiyeni timvetsere nkhani ya Hannah Olivas kuti timvetse izi. Mu 2017, Hannah ali ndi zaka 42, madokotala adamupeza ndi matenda a multiple myeloma , mtundu wa khansa ya m'magazi. Hannah atamva kuti uwu ndi matenda osachiritsika, poyamba anakwiya kwambiri, kenako anaopa kwambiri. Dokotala wina adamuuza kuti ali ndi chaka chimodzi chokhala ndi moyo. Wina adati ali ndi zaka pafupifupi 5. Wina adati sakanatha kunena chilichonse chokhudza izi.

Tangoganizirani momwe ziyenera kuti zinalili panthawi ngati imeneyo. Koma anzake ena a Hannah ananena zinthu zodabwitsa kwambiri. "Udzakhala bwino!", "Ukhoza kupirira izi!", "Ndiwe wamphamvu kwambiri!" Onse anali kunena zinthu ngati zimenezo. Ngakhale kuti Hannah ankadziwa kuti akuyesera kuthandiza, "chithandizo chokakamiza" chomwe adamva nthawi zonse chinamulepheretsa kulankhula za momwe akumveradi .

Hannah akuti, "Ndinaganiza kuti, 'Dikirani kaye. Ndilibe ngakhale kagawo kakang'ono ka zabwino mwa ine pakali pano. Ndili wokwiya kwambiri komanso wachisoni. Ndili ndi ufulu wokhala choncho.'"

N’chifukwa chiyani ‘cholinga chabwino’ ichi nthawi zina chimasanduka poizoni?

Malinga ndi katswiri wa zamaganizo Whitney Goodman, ngakhale munthu atakhala ndi zolinga zabwino, Toxic Positivity imabweretsa "kukakamizidwa kosalekeza kukhala wosangalala kapena kufunafuna chimwemwe , mosasamala kanthu za momwe zinthu zilili."

1. Kuletsa malingaliro

Tonsefe timamva chisoni, mkwiyo, mantha, ndi kukhumudwa. Izi ndi gawo la moyo wathu. Koma kukhala ndi maganizo abwino kumatipangitsa kuletsa malingaliro amenewa, kuganiza kuti 'ndi olakwika.' Koma kuwaletsa sikuwapangitsa kuti achoke. Monga momwe Goodman akunenera, "Maganizo oletsedwawo amatuluka m'mbali zina za moyo wanu, nthawi zina moopsa kwambiri." Mwachitsanzo, mungakumane ndi mavuto ogona, kusintha kwa zakudya zanu, kapena kusintha kwa malingaliro anu .

2. Kumva kusungulumwa (Kudzipatula)

Ngati mnzanu nthawi zonse amayembekezera kuti muone zabwino zokha mwa inu, mungasiye kulankhula naye za momwe mukumvera chifukwa mukuopa kuti angakutsutseni kapena angasiye kulankhula nanu. Izi zingakupangitseni kumva kuti ndinu nokha. Izi zingapangitse munthu amene akukuthandizani komanso munthu amene akulandira thandizo kumva kuti ndinu osungulumwa.

3. Kudzimva wolakwa

Aliyense akakuuzani kuti "khalani ndi chiyembekezo" koma inu simungathe, mungayambe kudzimva kuti ndinu wolakwa. Mumayamba kuganiza kuti, "Kodi pali vuto ndi ine? N’chifukwa chiyani sindingakhale wosangalala?" Izi zimangowonjezera nkhawa zanu.

Ndiye kodi timayankha bwanji izi moyenera?

Ngakhale tili ndi zolinga zabwino, nthawi zina timanena zinthu ngati izi. Chofunika kwambiri ndikumvetsera ululu wa munthu ndikumulola kuti awumve. Yang'anani tebulo ili.

Samalani ndi chilankhulo chanu.

Munthu akakuuzani vuto lake, mvetserani m'malo moyesa kulithetsa . Funsani mafunso. Kufunsa mafunso monga, "Mukumva bwanji?" kapena "Ndingakuchitirani chiyani?" kudzamudziwitsa kuti mumalemekeza malingaliro ake.

Zolowerani kukhala ndi malingaliro osasangalatsa.

Vomerezani kuti ndi zachilendo kuti ena amve chisoni ndi ululu, monga momwe timachitira ife. Ngati wina akulira pamaso panu, musakhumudwe. Ndi chizindikiro chakuti amakukhulupirirani. Ngakhale kukhala chete naye panthawiyo kungathandize kwambiri.

Kubwerera ku nkhani ya Hannah, pambuyo pake anayamba kuphunzitsa anzake za Poison Positivity mofatsa kwambiri. "Ndaphunzira kugwiritsa ntchito mawu anga ndikulankhula ndekha," akutero. Malangizo ake ndi akuti, "Khalani ndi winawake, khalani enieni, ndipo funsani mafunso."

"Sindikuganiza kuti anthu amachita zinthu zolimbikitsa anthu ena mwadala . Ndikuganiza kuti sakudziwa. Ubongo wawo uli ndi luso lolankhula zomwe akuganiza kuti ndi zolondola. Koma ngati angatimvere tikamalankhula, m'malo moyesa kutipatsa yankho, zimenezo zingakhale zabwino kwambiri," akutero Hannah.

Ngati mukumva choncho, musaope kulankhula za izi. Lankhulani ndi mnzanu wodalirika, wachibale wanu, kapena dokotala wanu. Thanzi la maganizo ndi lofunika mofanana ndi thanzi la thupi .