Ngaba umntwana wakho uyazilimaza? Masithethe ngokuzilimaza!

Sonke sivile ukuba abanye abantwana abancinci, njengonyana wakho, ngamanye amaxesha bayazenzakalisa. Mhlawumbi bazisika nge-razor blade, imela, okanye isikere. Njengomzali, kuyaqondakala ukuba ungaziva uloyiko olukhulu kunye nexhala xa usiva oku. "Kutheni umntwana wethu engenza oku?" Usenokuba uzibuza. Le ayingombandela esifanele siwuthathe lula. Inokuba yinto enzulu , kwaye inokuba luphawu lokudakumba okukhulu emntwaneni. Ngoko ke, masithethe ngale nto ngokweenkcukacha ezithe vetshe namhlanje, ngendlela onokuyiqonda, kulungile?

Yintoni le yokuzilimaza?

Ngamafutshane, ukuzenzakalisa, okanye njengoko oogqirha bebiza njalo, "Ukuzenzakalisa", kuxa umntu ezonakalisa umzimba wakhe ngabom. Siva rhoqo ngokuzisika, kodwa le ayisiyondlela yodwa. Abanye abantu abaselula:

• Bazitshisa.
• Bafutha kakhulu.
• Bazibetha, bezibetha iintloko zabo ndaweni ithile.
• Ukutsala iinwele.
• Ulusu lucinezelwe kakuhle.
• Zihlaba ulusu ngezinto ezibukhali ezifana neenaliti, kwaye ngamanye amaxesha zifaka izinto phantsi kolusu.

Ezi zinto zihlala ziqala besebancinci . Abanye abantu baqhubeka nalo mkhwa de babe badala. Nangona kunqabile, ezinye iintsapho zisenokuba nembali yokuzenzakalisa.

Eyona nto ibalulekileyo kukuba kukho ihlazo kunye nobumfihlo obuninzi obunxulumene nezi zinto. Uninzi lwexesha, aba bantwana bayayifihla imiphumo emibi abayibangeleyo. Ukuba kukho umntu obabonayo, baya kuza nezizathu ezingezizo emva kwenye. Nangona kunjalo, kukho abanye abantwana abathi, ngaphandle kokufihla imiphumo emibi yabo, bazame ukufumana ingqalelo kwabanye.

Amaxesha amaninzi, izinto ezifana nokuzisika ziqala njengentshukumo engalindelekanga . Oko kukuthi, njengento oyenzayo xa kufikwa kuwe. Nangona kunjalo, njengoko abantu abaninzi abaselula besitsho, wakuba uqalile, uziva ufuna ukuyenza rhoqo, kwaye kunzima ukuyeka. Kuba baziva ngathi bafumana isiqabu sexeshana kwintlungu enganyamezelekiyo kunye noxinzelelo abaluvayo ngelo xesha. Ngenxa yoku, iba ngumkhwa obakhuthaza ukuba bakwenze ngakumbi nangakumbi.

Ekuhambeni kwexesha, ukuzenzakalisa kunokuba ngumkhwa umntwana awusebenzisayo ukuze ajongane noxinzelelo kunye neemvakalelo zobomi bemihla ngemihla. Abanye bathi "bayathanda" oku. Abanye bafuna ukuyeka, kodwa abazi ukuba njani , okanye baziva ngathi abanakukwazi. Abanye abanamnqweno wokuyeka.

Kutheni abantwana abancinci bezenzakalisa?

Kunzima ukukhomba isizathu esinye kuphela soku. Umntwana ngamnye unokuba nezizathu ezahlukeneyo. Makhe sijonge izinto eziphambili eziphembelela oku.

1. Iimvakalelo ezigqithisileyo

Abantwana abancinci abadla ngokuzenzakalisa balwa neemvakalelo ezinamandla kakhulu.Basenokuvakalelwa kukuba le yindlela yokubonakalisa okanye yokubaleka ezi mvakalelo zinzulu. Khawucinge ngentlungu yokungafunwa, intlungu yobudlelwane obuqhekekileyo, okanye intlungu enzulu yokulahlekelwa ngumntu omthandayo - ezi zinto zinokuba nzima kwabanye abantwana abancinci.

Amaxesha amaninzi aba bantwana basenokuba bahlushwa yintlungu enzulu nengathethwayo kunye nobunzima. Uxinzelelo lokwenza yonke into ngokugqibeleleyo , uxinzelelo lokufezekisa iinjongo ezingenakwenzeka kubo okanye kwabanye, lunokubangela intlungu enganyamezelekiyo kwabanye abantwana. Abanye basenokuba buhlungu kakhulu ngamazwi arhabaxa abawafumene kwabanye, ngokuphathwa kakubi, ngokuziva bengenakuzinceda, bengento yanto, kwaye bengathandwa.

2. Ukonzakala kunye nokungaziva mnandi ngokweemvakalelo

Abanye abantu abaselula basenokuba baye bahlangabezana nohlobo oluthile loxinzelelo olukhulu. Ngamaxesha anje, basenokuba namava emeko ebizwa ngokuba yi-"Dissociation." Ngamafutshane, kuthetha imeko yokuba ngaphandle kweemvakalelo, imeko yokuba kude kancinci kwinyani. Kwaba bantu, ukuzisika yindlela yokuvavanya ukuba basenako na "ukuziva" iintlungu. Abanye bathi oku kubanceda "bavuke" kuloo meko yokuba ngaphandle kweemvakalelo.

3. Kwiintlungu ezingabonakaliyo, iintlungu ezibonakalayo

Intlungu esentliziyweni, oko kukuthi, intlungu yengqondo, esingenakuyichukumisa, esingenakuyibona. Kunzima ukuthetha ngayo, ukuyichaza. Kunzima nokufumana isiqabu kuyo. Nangona kunjalo, intlungu yomzimba evela ekuzilimazeni iyabonakala, singayibona . Abanye abantwana bavakalelwa kukuba le ntlungu yomzimba ingcono kunentlungu enzima esentliziyweni.

Aba bantwana bathi xa bezisika okanye bezilimaza, baziva bekhululekile kuba bayabona ngqo apho intlungu ivela khona. Kungathi bafanekisela intlungu yangaphakathi abanayo, mhlawumbi engathethwanga, engavunywanga, engaphiliswanga. Kwaye ngenxa yokuba yinto abanokuyenza ngokwabo, loo ntlungu iphantsi kolawulo lwabo.

4. Ukufumana isiqabu kwangoko

Abantwana abaninzi abancinci baxela ukuba baziva bekhululekile ngoko nangoko xa bezisika okanye bezilimaza. Oku kuqhelekile kwiindlela zokuziphatha ezinyanzelekileyo. Abanye bakholelwa ukuba iikhemikhali ezikhutshwa ngumzimba ngeli xesha, ezibizwa ngokuba yi-endorphins (ezaziwa ngokuba yi-"feel-good hormones" kwaye zikhutshwa ngexesha lokuzilolonga okunzima nokwenzakala), zinokuba yimbangela yokukhululeka.

Abanye bakholelwa ukuba olu phumlo luvela kwintlungu enzulu yomzimba kunye nohlobo olumangalisayo lokubona igazi, olubaphazamisa kwiimvakalelo ezibuhlungu abazivayo. Abanye abantwana bathi abaziva iintlungu xa besikwa, kodwa amanxeba abonakalayo "abonakalisa" iintlungu zabo zangaphakathi, nto leyo ebanika ukuphumla.

5. Ukuziva ngathi "ungumntu othanda umlutha"

Kulula ukuba likhoboka lokuzisika, ingakumbi xa kufikwa kwimikhwa ethile.Nangona inokubangela isiqabu sexeshana kuxinzelelo, okukhona umntu esika kakhulu, kokukhona efuna ukukwenza. Njengakwezinye iindlela zokuziphatha ezinyanzelisayo, ingqondo iphuhlisa unxibelelwano phakathi kokuzilimaza kunye nesiqabu sexeshana kwiimvakalelo ezimbi.

Ngalo lonke ixesha uxinzelelo lusanda, ingqondo ifuna loo mpumlo. Ngoko ke umntwana uyalingeka ukuba azilimaze kwakhona. Ngoko ke oku kungaba ngumkhwa onamandla ongenakunqandwa. Xa uxinzelelo lusanda kakhulu, kunokuvakala kunganyamezeleki ukumelana nomnqweno wokuzisika okanye ukwenzakalisa.

6. Ezinye iimeko zempilo yengqondo

Rhoqo, ukuzenzakalisa kunxulumene, okanye inxalenye, yesinye isimo sempilo yengqondo . Abanye abantu abaselula banokulwa nezinye izinto ezingafunekiyo, izinto abazixakekisayo, okanye iindlela zokuziphatha.

• Abanye abantu banokukufumanisa kunzima ukulawula utshintsho olungapheliyo lweemvakalelo olubangelwa zizifo ezifana nokudakumba okanye isifo sengqondo esibizwa ngokuba yi-bipolar disorder .
• Kwabanye, ubudlelwane bunokubonakala buqinile kwaye busondelelene ngenxa yokuphazamiseka kobuntu, kodwa bunokungabi nazinzo. Kwaba bantwana, ubudlelwane obabubuhle kakhulu bunokukhawuleza bube bubangela intlungu, umsindo, okanye ukuphoxeka okungathethekiyo.
• Abanye abantwana abancinci baneempawu zobuntu ezibenza batsaleleke kwiindlela zokuziphatha eziyingozi kunye nemincili eyingozi yokuziphatha okuzilimazayo.
• Abanye abantu bayalingeka ukuba benze izinto ezimangalisayo ukuze baziqinisekise ukuba bayathandwa kwaye bayakhathalelwa.
• Kwabanye, i-Post -Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) isenokuba ichaphazele amandla abo okujongana neemvakalelo zabo.
• Okanye basenokuba banengxaki yotywala okanye iziyobisi.

7. Uxinzelelo loontanga

Abanye abantwana abancinci baqala ukuzenzakalisa kuba bebona omnye umntu esenza loo nto. Uxinzelelo loontanga beqela nalo lunokuba yimbangela. Abanye abantwana benza ezi zinto ngaphandle kweqela labo baze bacinezele abanye ukuba benze okufanayo. Abanye abantwana banokusebenzisa ezi zinto ukuze babonakale “bepholile” okanye “benesibindi”, ukuze bavumelane neqela, okanye baphephe ukuxhatshazwa ngabanye.

Nayiphi na kwezi inokuba sisizathu sokuba umntwana omncinci azenzekele. Nangona kunjalo, umntwana ngamnye uneemvakalelo zakhe kunye namava akhe ahlukileyo . Abanye basenokungakwazi nokuchaza isizathu sokuba benze njalo.

Nokuba siyintoni na isizathu, ukuzenzakalisa akuyondlela ilungileyo yokujongana neemvakalelo ezinzulu okanye uxinzelelo.

Ingaba eli lilinge lokuzibulala?

Olu loyikiso olukhulu kubazali abaninzi. Kodwa, uninzi lwexesha, ukuzenzakalisa akuyonto yokuzama ukuzibulala.Ukwenza oku ukuze ubalekele okwethutyana intlungu enganyamezelekiyo kunye noxinzelelo olusentliziyweni yakho.

Nangona kunjalo, ingozi apha ayifanele ithathwe lula . Kukho umngcipheko omkhulu wokopha kakhulu, usulelo lwamanxeba, okanye ezinye iingxaki zempilo ezinzulu. Ngamanye amaxesha, nokuba ingozi engenziwanga ngabom inokwenzeka. Ke ngoko, nokuba oku akuyonto yokuzama ukuzibulala, kunokuba nemiphumo eyingozi kakhulu .

Ungayibona njani? Unganceda njani?

Abanye abantwana abancinci baya kutsalela ingqalelo kumonakalo abawenzayo. Okanye baya kufumanisa xa befuna uncedo lwezonyango ngenxa yokwenzakala. Nangona kunjalo, abantwana abaninzi benza ezi zinto ngasese ixesha elide ngaphambi kokuba abanye bafumanise . Abanye ekugqibeleni baya kuxelela umntu ngayo - nokuba kuba befuna uncedo kwaye befuna ukuyeka, okanye kuba befuna umntu oza kuyiqonda intlungu yabo.

Kufuna isibindi nokuzithemba okukhulu ukuxelela umntu ngale nto. Abantwana abaninzi bayoyika ukuxelela abanye kuba becinga ukuba baza kuqondakala, bacaphuke, badane, bothuke, okanye bagwetywe. Abanye abantwana baxelela abahlobo babo, kodwa babacela ukuba bangaxeleli mntu. Oku kunokuba ngumthwalo omkhulu kunye nexhala kumhlobo.

Xa umntu ebuza ngezi zilonda, abantwana banokusabela ngeendlela ezahlukeneyo. Kuxhomekeke kumntwana nendlela abuzwe ngayo ngaloo nto.

• Abanye banokuxoka bathi akukho nto injalo.
• Nokuba abanye bayayamkela, kunokuthiwa ayiyongxaki inkulu leyo.
• Abanye basenokucaphuka, bacaphuke, baze bangavumi uncedo .
• Nangona kunjalo, kukho abanye abantwana abaziva bekhululekile xa bevakalelwa kukuba kukho umntu oyaziyo le nto, okhangelayo, kwaye ozama ukunceda.

Njengomzali, ukuba ukrokrela okanye ufumanisa ukuba umntwana wakho wenza into efana nale, kubalulekile ukuthetha nomntwana wakho ngayo ngendlela enobubele neyomcingelayo . Musa ukumtyhola umntwana, mphulaphule umntwana. Yazisa umntwana ukuba ukulungele ukumnceda.

Ngaba lo mkhwa ungayekiswa?

Nokuba umntu uyazi okanye uzama ukunceda, abanye abantu abaselula bazama ukuyeka emva kokuba bezenzele usizi ixesha elide. Ukuba ukuzenzakalisa kuyinxalenye yesinye isifo sengqondo, umntwana ngokuqinisekileyo udinga uncedo lobuchwephesha . Ngamanye amaxesha, la manxeba okanye ezinye iimpawu zinokufuna ukuba umntwana angeniswe esibhedlele okanye ekliniki yempilo yengqondo. Abanye abantwana banokufuna ukulaliswa esibhedlele ngaphezu kwesinye, de balungele ukufumana uncedo kule ngxaki okanye kwezinye.

Nangona kunjalo, abanye abantu abaselula bafumana indlela yokuyeka ukuzenzakalisa bodwa. Oku kunokwenzeka ukuba banesizathu esiqinileyo sokuyeka, ukuba bafumana inkxaso abayidingayo, okanye ukuba bafumana iindlela zokuxhathisa umnqweno onamandla wokuzilimaza. Ukuze bayeke, kufuneka bafunde iindlela ezintsha zokujongana neemeko ezinzima kunye neendlela ezintsha zokulawula iimvakalelo zabo ezibacinezelayo.Kufuneka uyifumane. Oku kuthatha ixesha, kwaye kudla ngokufuna uncedo lwengcali yezempilo yengqondo .

Kunzima kakhulu ebantwaneni abancinci ukuyeka ukuziphatha okubi njengokuzisika. Basenokungaphumeleli okokuqala. Abanye banokuma okwethutyana baze baqale kwakhona. Kufuna ukuzimisela, inkalipho, amandla, kunye nenkxaso yokuqonda nokuthanda abanye ukuze bayeke lo mkhwa unamandla.

Okokugqibela, ezinye izinto ezibalulekileyo

Ngokwezinto endizithethileyo, usenokuba ufumene ulwazi oluthile malunga nemeko yokuzilimaza eyenzeka kubantwana abancinci. Nazi izinto ezibalulekileyo ekufuneka uzikhumbule:

• Olu lucelomngeni lokucela uncedo: Ukuzilimaza luphawu lokuba umntwana uxinezelekile kakhulu. Akubonakalisi ubuthathaka, kodwa yindlela yokujongana nentlungu enganyamezelekiyo.
• Mhlawumbi ayikokuzibulala, kodwa kuyingozi: Nangona oku kungekuko ukuzibulala, kunokukhokelela ekwenzakaleni okukhulu, kwiintsholongwane, nakwezinye iingxaki zempilo. Ngoko ke musa ukukuthatha lula.
• Musa ukuyigcina iyimfihlo: Ukuba ufumanisa ukuba umntwana wakho, okanye umntwana omaziyo, wenza into efana nale, musa ukuyigcina iyimfihlo. Xelela umntu omdala omthembileyo, utitshala, okanye ugqirha.
• Uncedo lobuchwephesha lubalulekile: Uncedo lwengcali yezempilo yengqondo (uncedo lomcebisi, unyango) lubaluleke kakhulu ukuze woyise le meko. Jonga kuyo.
• Uthando lwakho nenkxaso yakho zibaluleke kakhulu: Phatha umntwana wakho ngothando, ngaphandle kokumgxeka okanye ukumgweba. Yazisa umntwana wakho ukuba ukulungele ukumxhasa kwaye uyamnceda. Yiba nomonde kwaye uqonde.

Ndiyathemba ukuba olu lwazi luza kukunceda. Mnyamekele umntwana wakho, mphulaphule, kwaye ungathandabuzi ukumnika uncedo olufunekayo.

` ukuzenzakalisa, ukuzisika, impilo yengqondo yolutsha, uxinzelelo lweemvakalelo, isikhokelo sabazali, iingcebiso zonyango lwesiSinhala, impilo yengqondo yolutsha oluzilimazayo, impilo yengqondo yolutsha oluselula ...