Ingaba umntwana wakho ujamelene namava abuhlungu? (Ukwenzakala Kwabantwana) Masithethe ngale nto!

Njengabazali, sisoloko sizama ukukhusela abantwana bethu kuyo yonke into. Kodwa, ngelishwa, ngamanye amaxesha abantwana bethu bajongana nezinto ezingalindelekanga. Ezi zinto zinokubabangela intlungu noxinzelelo olukhulu.

Yintoni iTrauma?

Ngamafutshane, ukwenzakala sisiganeko esichaphazela kakhulu umntwana, simenza azive esoyika kakhulu, okanye simbangele ingozi. Cinga ngako, kungaba lugonyamelo olukhulu lwasekhaya, okanye ingozi enkulu, okanye intlekele yendalo engalindelekanga (njengesikhukula, ukudilika komhlaba). Ngamanye amaxesha ukulahlekelwa likhaya lakho nokuba yinkedama, ukulahlekelwa ngumzali, okanye ukugula kakhulu kunokuba yintlungu kumntwana. Olu hlobo lweziganeko lubi kakhulu. Kuba ngeli xesha, umntwana unokuziva ngathi ubomi bakhe busengozini, ukuba akakhuselekanga .

Ukulimala kumchaphazela njani umntwana?

Xa into efana nale isenzeka, impembelelo yengqondo ngamanye amaxesha inokuhlala ixesha elide. Kunokuba nzima ukuchacha kuyo. Kwabanye abantwana, le meko inokukhokelela kwimeko ebizwa ngokuba yiPost-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) .

Kodwa eyona nto ibalulekileyo kukuba abantwana banokuchacha kwiimeko ezinjalo ezibuhlungu. Kukho iindlela zonyango ezinokunceda. Kwakhona, uthando olongezelelweyo, uthando, kunye nenkxaso yakho njengomzali zinokuba luncedo kakhulu kubo ngeli xesha.

Ngoku makhe sibone ukuba olu hlobo loxinzelelo luchaphazela njani umntwana.

Izinto ezivezwa ngengqondo

Emva kwengozi, ukuziva ukhuselekile kwaye uthembekile komntwana kunokonakala kakhulu. Kwanasemva kwexesha elide, usenokuziva esoyika kwaye othukile. Abanye banokuziva bebodwa, belusizi, benomsindo, okanye benetyala. Basenokude bacinge , "Le yimpazamo yam." Abanye abantwana banokuziva ngathi ukuzithemba kwabo kunye nokuzihlonipha kwabo kuyatshatyalaliswa. Abanye banokuva intlungu enzulu, enganyamezelekiyo.

Utshintsho kwindlela yokuziphatha kunye nezinye izinto

Ukonzakala kunokuchaphazela imeko yengqondo yomntwana, indlela aziphethe ngayo, okanye indlela alala ngayo . Abanye abantwana banokuba nomsindo kakhulu kwaye badla ngokuba lusizi, imeko ebizwa ngokuba kukudandatheka . Basenokuba namathuba amaninzi okubuza imibuzo kunangaphambili, kwaye basenokuba namathuba amancinci okuphumelela esikolweni. Basenokuba noloyiko olutsha, kwaye banokuba nengxaki yokulala ebusuku. Abanye abantwana banokuba neenkumbulo eziphindaphindayo nezibangela usizi zesiganeko abasifumeneyo. Sikwabiza ezi zinto ngokuba ziinkumbulo zexesha elidlulileyo . Rhoqo, abantwana bazama ukuphepha izinto ezibakhumbuza ngento eyenzekileyo kubo.

Kutheni abanye abantwana bengathethi ngale nto?

Emva kwesiganeko esibuhlungu, abanye abantwana babelana ngeemvakalelo zabo nabanye. Nangona kunjalo, abanye bagcina yonke into ngaphakathi. Basenokuzama ukufihla iimvakalelo zabo okanye bazityhalele kude. Banokucinga , 'Abanye balindele ukuba ndidlule ngokukhawuleza kule nto.' Abanye abantu abazi ukuba bangazichaza njani iimvakalelo zabo. Nokuba sisiphi na isizathu, njengomzali, usenokungayiqondi into eyenzeka kumntwana wakho.

Indlela unyango olunokukunceda ngayo ukuba uphile

Kulungile, makhe sibone ukuba umntwana ufumana luphi uncedo kunyango ngexesha elinje.

Oko ukufumanayo kunyango

Unyango yindlela entle yokuba abantwana babelane ngeemvakalelo zabo ngokukhuselekileyo, babalise amabali abo, baze bafumane inkxaso abayidingayo. Kwinyango, abantwana bafunda ukuthetha ngezinto abaye badlula kuzo. Bafunda izakhono zokumelana neengxaki kunye nezakhono zokuzola ezibanceda bahlale bomelele engqondweni. Bafunda nokutshintsha indlela abacinga nabavakalelwa ngayo ngesiganeko esibuhlungu. Kancinci kancinci, baqala ukujongana nezinto ababeziphepha ngaphambili. Unyango lunceda abantwana bafumane inkalipho yabo kwaye bakhe ukuzithemba.

Cinga ngale ndlela: Unyango lufana nokubeka amayeza kwindawo eyonzakeleyo yentliziyo yomntwana, uyiphilise, uze umncede aphinde avuke asebenze kwakhona.

Masifunde ngeTrauma-Focused Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (TF-CBT)

Kukho indlela ethile yokunyanga ukwenzakala ebantwaneni ebizwa ngokuba yiTrauma-Focused Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (TF-CBT) . Oku kuquka ukuthetha, ukudlala, kunye nemisebenzi yokufunda ukunceda umntwana alungise loo ngxaki.

Le ndlela yonyango lwe -TF-CBT ikwanceda kakhulu abazali. Enyanisweni, kuyinto eqhelekileyo ukuba abazali bazive bedakumbile kwaye bekhathazekile ngento umntwana wabo adlule kuyo. Ngexesha lonyango, abazali bafumana inkxaso efunekayo. Bafumana iingcebiso malunga nendlela yokunceda umntwana wabo ekhaya.

Kwi -TF-CBT , abazali banokudlala indima enkulu ekuchacheni komntwana wabo. Uqeqeshwe ukumamela ngendlela enceda umntwana wakho athethe ngento ayicingayo, anciphise imithwalo yakhe, kwaye aqhagamshelane nawe. Ungamnceda umntwana wakho aziqhelise izakhono zokujongana neengxaki ekhaya. Njengoko umntwana wakho echacha kancinci kancinci, unokwabelana ngovuyo.

Ungayifumana njani unyango?

Ngoku usenokuba uzibuza, ‘Ndingalufumana njani olu hlobo lonyango kumntwana wam?’ Akunzima kangako.

• Okokuqala, ugqirha wezingane womntwana wakhoThetha nogqirha wakho. Mxelele ngezinto umntwana wakho ajongene nazo. Khumbula, ugqirha uxhalabile ngempilo yomzimba yomntwana wakho kunye nempilo yakhe yengqondo.
• Cela ugqirha wakho ukuba akuthumelele kwingcali yezifo zengqondo yabantwana , kwingcali yezengqondo , okanye kumcebisi ofanelekileyo oqeqeshwe kweli candelo kwaye onokunceda umntwana wakho.
• Kusenokufuneka ukuba umse umntwana wakho kunyango kanye ngeveki kangangeenyanga ezimbalwa, kodwa kancinci kancinci uza kubona utshintsho oluhle kumntwana wakho.

Ungamnceda njani umntwana wakho ekhaya

Emva kwengozi, abantwana badinga inkxaso nothando lwakho ngaphezu kwanini na ngaphambili. Qiniseka ukuba ucingisisa ngezi zinto:

• Chitha ixesha nomntwana wakho: Yenzani izinto ezizolileyo, eziphumlayo, okanye ezonwabisayo kunye. Phekani kunye, hambani niye kuhamba, nidlale, nifunde iincwadi, nizobe, nicule iingoma. Ukuba kunokwenzeka, bekela bucala ixesha loku yonke imihla, ubuncinane imizuzu embalwa. Cinga ngendlela ekuya kuba luncedo ngayo ukuchitha ixesha elincinci nisakha indlu nonyana wakho omncinci emva kwemini, okanye nifunde ibali elincinci nentombi yakho encinci ngaphambi kokuba nilale ebusuku.
• Yiba nomonde kwaye ufudumale: Sebenzisa amazwi anobubele. Mncome umntwana wakho xa esenza into elungileyo okanye esenza umzamo. Yithi, " Ndiyaziqhenya ngawe, nyana/ntombi ." Yiba nomonde xa umntwana wakho enze impazamo. Mbonise indlela yokuzama kwakhona.
• Bonisa uthando: Vumela umntwana wakho azive uthando lwakho. Mgone, mncumele, thetha amazwi othando, bonisa ngezenzo zobubele. Mthuthuzele ngamazwi athomalalisayo xa edakumbile okanye ekhathazekile.
• Misela indlela yokuzola: Kumntwana omncinci, zinike imizuzu embalwa yokufunda ibali, ukumbamba, okanye ukucula ingoma encinci ngaphambi kokuba alale (okanye nangaliphi na ixesha emini). Kumntwana omdala, kwenze umkhwa wokumgona uze uthi 'lala kakuhle' ngaphambi kokuba alale, kwaye uchithe imizuzu embalwa uthetha naye, umamele into ayithethayo, okanye uhleke kunye. Le mizuzu yongezelelweyo nikunye inokunceda kakhulu ekuncedeni umntwana wakho azive ezolile, ekhuselekile, kwaye ekhululekile .

Usenokucinga, "Owu... ezi zizinto ezincinci esiqhele ukuzenza." Kodwa, ukunika umntwana wakho inkxaso eyongezelelweyo nexesha elinje kuya kunceda umntwana wakho azive uthando lwakho kunye nobudlelwane obusondeleyo onabo naye. Emva kwamava abuhlungu, olo lwalamano luxabiseke ngakumbi kunangaphambili.

Okokugqibela, izinto ekufuneka uzikhumbule

Kulungile, ngoko ke ngokwento esithethe ngayo, mhlawumbi kuyacaca kuwe ukuba ubunzima umntwana ahlangabezana nabo bunokuchaphazela kangakanani iingqondo zakhe ezincinci. Kodwa, eyona nto ibalulekileyo yile:

• Ukonzakala kuyinto embi kakhulu, kodwa abantwana banokuphila. Musa ukulahla ithemba.
• Unyango olufanelekileyo, ingakumbi iindlela ezifana ne-TF-CBT, lunokuba luncedo kakhulu. Ngoko ke ungoyiki ukufuna ingcebiso kagqirha.
• Njengomzali, uthando lwakho, umsa wakho, umonde wakho, kunye nenkxaso yakho zibalulekile kuhambo lomntwana wakho lokuphiliswa. Ungoyena mandla makhulu omntwana wakho.
• Izinto ezincinci zinokwenza umahluko omkhulu. Ukuchitha ixesha nomntwana wakho, ukumxabisa, ukumphatha ngothando - konke oku kuxabiseke kakhulu.

Khumbula, awuwedwa. Kukho iingcali ezinokukunceda kwaye zikukhokele kolu hambo. Kwaye, umntwana wakho othandekayo ngokuqinisekileyo unokudlula kweli xesha linzima aze onwabe kwakhona.

Ukonzakala ebuntwaneni , impilo yengqondo, i-PTSD, i-TF-CBT, inkxaso yobuzali, ukuphiliswa kwabantwana, unyango lwengqondo