Ngaba umntwana wakho uchitha ixesha kunye 'neqela' esikolweni? Masithethe ngale nto ibizwa ngokuba yi-'(Clique)'!

Molo! Njengoko umntwana wakho ekhula, ukuba nabahlobo kuba yinto exabisekileyo kuye, akunjalo? Ukudlulela ngaphaya kosapho kunye nokudala abahlobo bakhe kubaluleke kakhulu ekukhuleni kwakhe, oko kukuthi, ukuba akhule njengabantu abazimeleyo. Obu buhlobo buya kubanceda kakhulu ekwakheni ubudlelwane obuhle nobunokuthenjwa kwixesha elizayo. Kodwa ngamanye amaxesha, olu 'luhlu lwabahlobo' lunokukhula ngendlela eyahlukileyo kancinci, kwaye ngamanye amaxesha ngendlela enokubangela iingxaki. Yiloo nto siza kuthetha ngayo namhlanje, ngakumbi, amaqela '(amaqela ee-Clique). Musa ukoyika, masithethe ngale nto ngendlela esinokuyiqonda sonke, ngokulula.

Yintoni umahluko phakathi kweqela labahlobo kunye "neqela labantu"?

Kulungile, masiqale sicacise umahluko phakathi kweqela labahlobo nje kunye nento esiyibiza ngokuba yi-"clique". Ukuba siyiqonda kakuhle le nto, kuya kuba lula kuthi ukunceda abantwana.

Ngokwesiqhelo, abahlobo badibana ngenxa yezinto abazithandayo ngokufanayo . Cinga ngayo njengeqela elidlala umdlalo ofanayo, abantwana abakwiklasi enye, abantu abahlala kwindawo enye, okanye unxibelelwano losapho. Abantu abakwiintlobo ezahlukeneyo zamaqela abahlobo banenkululeko yokuthetha, ukudlala, kunye nokunxibelelana nabanye abantu abangaphandle kwelo qela. Abakhutshelwa ngaphandle okanye bagxothwe kwiqela ngokwenza njalo. Akukho mthetho uthi kufuneka nenze yonke into kunye. Kuqhelekile kwaye kunempilo.

Nangona kunjalo, le `(Clique)` yahlukile kancinci, ibotshelelwe kakhulu, iqela elincinci elibotshelelwe kakhulu . Badla ngokuba nemithetho yabo kunye nendlela yokuziphatha. Eminye yale mithetho ichazwe ngokucacileyo, eminye ayicacanga. Benza izinto ezininzi kunye. Kodwa ingxaki ephambili apha kukuba olu hlobo lwe-`(Clique)` alusekelwanga kwiimilinganiselo ezifanayo, iingcamango ezilungileyo, kunye neenkolelo malunga nokuncedana. Uninzi lwexesha, injongo yabo ephambili kukukhusela '(Isimo)' sabo kunye '(Udumo)' lwabo. Umzekelo, abantu abakwi-`(Clique)` banokucinga ukuba 'bangcono' kunabanye, okanye basenokuzama ukubonisa ukuba '(Clique)' yabo 'inkulu' kunabanye. Oko kukuthi, kunokubakho ukhuphiswano oluqhubekayo phakathi kwabo.

Kutheni abantwana bethu befuna ukujoyina i-`(Clique)` ngolu hlobo?

Ngoku mhlawumbi ucinga ukuba, 'Kutheni abantwana bethanda ukuya kwiindawo ezixineneyo nezinengxaki kangaka?' Akukho sizathu sinye nje saloo nto, zininzi. Makhe sijonge loo nto.

• Umnqweno wokuba ngumntu odumileyo: Kwabanye abantwana, ukuba 'ngumntu odumileyo', 'opholileyo' yeyona nto ibalulekileyo kubo. Ngoko ke, la 'maqela' abonakala kubo njengendawo yokufumana isikhundla sentlalo, oko kukuthi, ukwamkelwa phakathi kwabanye abantu esikolweni. Bacinga ukuba, 'Ukuba ndikwelo qela, wonke umntu uza kundihlonipha.'
• Uloyiko lokuba wedwa:Abanye abantwana bajoyina oku kuba besoyika ukushiywa ngaphandle, ukuba ndedwa, nokulahleka. Bacinga, 'Owu, kungcono ndifakwe kwiqela, kungenjalo ndiza kuba ndedwa.' Le yinto enokuviwa ngakumbi ngabantwana abanovelwano kancinci.
• Umnqweno wokulawula okanye wokulandela: Kukho abantwana abathanda ukulawula abanye, ukunyanzelisa intando yabo, kunye nokuba abanye babaphulaphule. Kubantwana abanjalo, eli `(Clique)` liyindawo elungileyo (nokuba intle okanye imbi). Aba bahlala belawulwa `yiNkokeli` . Yinkokeli egqibayo ukuba ngubani omele abe kwiqela kwaye ngubani omele aphume. Kwelinye icala, oku kunokubonakala kulungile nakubantwana abathanda ukulandela imithetho, abathanda ukumamela oko kuthethwa ngabanye, kwaye besoyika ukwenza izigqibo zabo. Kuba, apho, baxelelwa ngokucacileyo ukuba "yintoni abamele bayenze".

Kodwa, into engaqhelekanga kukuba, ngamanye amaxesha nabantwana abanobubele kakhulu, abadumileyo, nabaneetalente bayasuswa kweli `(Clique)` okanye abamkelwa kwiqela. Isizathu soku kukuba ubuntu bomntwana kunye nokuzithemba kwakhe kunokuba yingozi kwinkokeli. Inkokeli inokucinga, 'Lo mntwana akangomntu ondiphulaphulayo, uza kugqama ngaphezu kwam.' Ingakumbi ukuba umntwana udumile nokuba eyedwa, oku kunokwenzeka ngakumbi. Ngamanye amaxesha, inkokheli ithetha nabahlobo bomntwana ukuze bajoyine i-`(Clique)`, kodwa umntwana odumileyo akamkelekanga. Le yimeko ebuhlungu kakhulu.

Kutheni abanye bephulaphula oko kuthethwa yinkokeli ye-`(Clique)`?

Kulungile, ngoku masibone ukuba kutheni amanye amalungu eli `(Clique)` ephulaphula yonke into ethethwa yinkokheli. Ngaba ngokwenene yinto abayenzayo ngenxa yobuhlobo, ngenxa yothando ngenkokeli? Okanye ngaba kukho esinye isizathu?

Uninzi lwexesha, amalungu e-`(Clique)` alandela imithetho yenkokeli ngqo. Isenokuba, 'Simele sinxibe njengangaphambili', 'Simele sinxibe emva kosuku', 'Asithethi nabantu emva kosuku', 'Senza ezi zinto kuphela', njl. Ezi '(Clique)' zihlala zinemithetho emininzi, nokuba ichazwe ngokucacileyo okanye ayithethwanga . Kwakhona, kukho '(uxinzelelo)' oluninzi lokulandela loo mithetho ngqo. Kudala uluvo lokuba 'Ukuba sonke senza oku, nguwe wedwa ongenakutshintsha'.

Enyanisweni, uninzi lwamalungu lujikeleza inkokheli, kungengenxa yobuhlobo bokwenene, kodwa kuba lufuna ukukhusela indawo yalo kwiqela.

Abantwana abakwiqela elithile bahlala bexhalabile ngezinto ezinje, 'Ngaba ndiza kuqhubeka ndithandwa kweli qela?', 'Ukuba ndenza into engalunganga, ndithethe into engalunganga, okanye ndinxibe ngendlela engafanelekanga, ngaba eli qela liza kundishiya ngaphandle?' Le yinto ebangela uxinezeleko olukhulu. Umntwana uhlala esoyika kwaye ethandabuza.

Zivela nini iingxaki ngenxa ye-`(Cliques)`?

Kwabaninzi abantwana, ixesha eliphakathi kweminyaka elishumi neshumi elinesibhozo ubudala libizwa ngokuba 'li-preteen' kunye 'ne-teenage'.Lixesha apho uzama ukufumanisa ukuba ungubani, ufuna ukufana njani noluntu, ufuna ukuvela njani, kwaye ungubani. Ngoko ke, kuqhelekile ukuba abantwana abakule minyaka bazive bengakhuselekanga ngabo ngamanye amaxesha, balindele ukwamkelwa ngabanye, kwaye bafune ukuchitha ixesha nabantwana 'abahle', 'abathandwayo'. Yindlela kanye eyenzeka ngayo kuloo minyaka.

Nangona kunjalo, la maqela angamaqela angakhokelela kwiingxaki zexesha elide, zombini zengqondo nezokuziphatha , ingakumbi kwiimeko ezifana nezi:

• Xa abantwana behendelwa ekwenzeni izinto abaziyo ukuba azilunganga okanye abavumelaniyo neemvakalelo zabo, ukukholisa inkokeli okanye ukuba yinxalenye yeqela. Umzekelo, izinto ezifana nokuxhaphaza omnye umntu okanye ukuxoka.
• Xa abantwana betyhalelwa ngaphandle , bachitha imali eninzi kwiimpahla ezintsha , bathenga ifowuni yamva nje, bahlekisa ngabanye, basasaze intlebendwane (nokuba bathetha nabo ngqo okanye kwi-intanethi ngeendaba zoluntu).
• Xa abantwana bephoqeleka ukuba benze izinto ezinobungozi ezifana nokuba, ukwenza umsebenzi ongcolileyo, okanye ukonakalisa izinto zabanye abantu . Xa becinezelwa ukuba benze izinto ezinje, 'Sonke siyakwenza, nawe ufanele ukwenze.'
• Xa iqela liba liqela okanye iqela elingafuni buhlobo nabantu, libeka imithetho engafanelekanga efana nokunciphisa umzimba, okanye ukuxhaphaza okanye ukusongela abanye ngokusekelwe kwinkangeleko, ukukhubazeka, uhlanga, okanye unqulo.
• Xa umntwana eziva elahliwe kakhulu, ebekwe ecaleni, kwaye ehlukaniswe liqela, oku kungonakalisa kakhulu ukuzithemba komntwana.

Cinga ngayo, ezi "(iiClique)" ziba nzima kakhulu, oko kuthetha ukuba iingxaki ziba nzima kakhulu, xa umntwana ekwibanga lesithandathu, lesixhenxe, okanye lesibhozo (isikolo samabanga aphakathi). Nangona kunjalo, ngamanye amaxesha ezi ngxaki "(iiClique)" zinokuqala kwangethuba kwiminyaka emine okanye emihlanu ubudala. Ngoko ke, kulungile ukukwazi oku usemncinci.

Singabanceda njani abazali?

Kulungile, ngoku xa umntwana wakho esokola, mhlawumbi ehlupheka, ngobuhlobo obu, `(iiClique), zininzi izinto wena, oko kukuthi, thina, njengabazali esinokuzenza ukumxhasa. Masibone ukuba ziyintoni na. Ezi zizinto ezilula kakhulu nezisebenzisekayo.

• Yabelana ngamava akho: Thetha nomntwana wakho ngamava akho esikolweni, amaqela owajongana nawo, kunye nokungavisisani owaba nako nabahlobo bakho. Mxelele indlela owavakalelwa ngayo ngezo zinto nendlela owazisingatha ngayo. Oku kuya kunceda umntwana wakho aqonde ukuba ezi zinto azenzeki kuye kuphela.
• Zama ukuqonda icala lenkokeli: Cacisela umntwana wakho ukuba nokuba ungowenkokeli yeqela elithile, usenokuba njengaye wonke umntu , exhalabele ukuthandwa nokwamkelwa ngabanye . Mxelele ukuba ungowenkokeli usenokuba wenza ngaloo ndlela ukuze afihle ukungazithembi kwakhe.
• Yazisa iincwadi neemuvi ezifanelekileyo: Fumana iincwadi neemuvi umntwana wakho anokuzibona ngobuhlobo kunye namaqela abantu. Umzekelo, incwadi efana nekaJudy Bloom ethi 'Blubber' okanye imuvi efana nethi 'Mean Girls'. (Ezi zibhalwe ngesiNgesi, ukuba kunokwenzeka, zibukele nomntwana wakho nize nithethe ngazo. Oku kuya kwenza kube lula kumntwana wakho ukuqonda imeko.)
• Khuthaza imisebenzi yangaphandle kwesikolo: Khuthaza umntwana wakho ukuba athathe inxaxheba kwimisebenzi emenza angayi esikolweni . Izinto ezifana neeklasi zobugcisa, iiklasi zomculo, ezemidlalo, ubugcisa bokulwa, iiklasi zolwimi, iiklabhu zokusingqongileyo, umsebenzi wokuzithandela, njl. Ezi zinto zinika umntwana wakho ithuba lokwenza abahlobo ngaphandle kwesikolo, ngokusekelwe kwizinto abanomdla kuzo, abaneminyaka eyahlukeneyo, nabavela kwizikolo ezahlukeneyo. Emva koko iqela lesikolo aliyi kuba lodwa ilizwe lakhe.
• Fundisa ubuhlobo obusempilweni kunye novelwano: Khuthaza umntwana wakho ukuba abe nobuhlobo obusempilweni nobulungileyo . Mfundise ukuba angabandakanyeki kakhulu kwezi "qela". Mfundise ukuba abe novelwano kwiimvakalelo zabanye kwaye enze okulungileyo kubo, angalandeli rhoqo isihlwele . Mfundise ngokulula, "Akufuneki sitsibe equleni xa wonke umntu etsiba."

Ungamcacisela umntwana wakho ukuba la "maqela" anokutshintsha ngokukhawuleza, ukuba iqela elikhoyo namhlanje lisenokunyamalala ngomso, ngoko ke kubaluleke kakhulu ukuba nabahlobo abalungileyo, abanyanisekileyo, nabaqondayo . Imfihlo enkulu yokuba ngumntu odumileyo nothandwayo ngumntu wonke kukuba luhlobo lomhlobo ofuna ukuba lulo kwabanye.

Okokugqibela, izinto ezimbalwa ekufuneka uzikhumbule (Umyalezo Wokuya Ekhaya)

Ngoko ke, ndiyathemba ukuba ngoku unombono olungileyo wendlela le `(Clique)` echaphazela ngayo ubomi babantwana, iingxaki ezinokubangela, kunye nendlela esifanele sijongane nayo. Khumbula, wonke umntwana ujongana namava anje ngaxa lithile ebomini bakhe. Kuqhelekile. Eyona nto ibalulekileyo kukuthetha ngokukhululekileyo nomntwana wakho, umphulaphule, kwaye uhlale umenza azive ukuba unenkxaso, uthando, kunye nenkathalo yakho.

• Ubuhlobo bubaluleke kakhulu, kodwa akufuneki uthobele uxinzelelo olungeyomfuneko kunye nemithetho ye-"(Cliques)".
• Soloko ukhuthaza umntwana wakho ukuba enze oko acinga ukuba kulungile, ngokwesazela sakhe.
• Bafundise ukuphatha abanye ngobubele, intlonipho, nokuqonda iimvakalelo zabanye.
• Ukuba umntwana wakho unengxaki, mkhuthaze ukuba athethe ngayo aze acele uncedo. Le ngxaki ingavela kuwe, kutitshala, okanye komnye umntu omdala abamthembayo.

Ucinga ngezi zinto, ngokuqinisekileyo ungamnceda umntwana wakho ukuba aphumelele kwezi ndlela zinzima zentlalo. Emva koko kuya kuba lula kuye ukwakha ubuhlobo obusempilweni, obonwabisayo, nobuhlala ixesha elide. Ndikunqwenelela ithamsanqa wena nomntwana wakho!

Ubuhlobo babantwana , amaqela esikolo, uxinzelelo loontanga, iingcebiso zabazali, amaqela, izakhono zentlalo