Senza izinqumo ekuphileni kwethu. Ezinye zazo zilula kakhulu. Ukwenza izinqumo ezifana nokuthi sizogqokani namuhla noma ukuthi sizothenga bhisikidi lini esitolo akunzima kangako. Kodwa, isinqumo esithi "Ingabe kufanele sibe nomntwana manje?" sijule kakhulu, sikhulu kakhulu, akunjalo? Lona umthwalo wemfanelo omkhulu abantu ababili okufanele bawuthathe ndawonye. Akukuhle ukushesha ukwenza lesi sinqumo. Yingakho ngibhala lesi sihloko ukuze ngikusize uthole ukuthi usukulungele ngempela yini lolu hambo olukhulu.
"Lapho mina nomyeni wami siqala ukucabanga ngokuba nomntwana, sasiseColombo. Bobabili abazali bethu babehlala edolobhaneni. Ngazibuza ukuthi kungaba kuhle yini ukuba nomntwana kude kangaka nabo. Ngithanda nokuhamba kakhulu futhi ngiphume nabangani. Ngangesaba nokuthi uma umntwana efika, leyo ndlela yokuphila izolahleka. Inkinga enkulu kwakuyimali. Ingabe sizokwazi ukukhokhela lezi zindleko?" Lona umbuzo obuzwa imibhangqwana eminingi esemisha ezweni lakithi. Kukhona imibhangqwana ebilokhu icabanga ngalokhu izinyanga, mhlawumbe ngisho neminyaka, inemibuzo eminingi efana nale. Ngakho wazi kanjani ukuthi usukulungele manje? Uma nobabili ningaphendula ngokuthi "yebo" emibuzweni emine engezansi, ningase nilungele kakhulu kunalokho enikucabangayo.
1. Ingabe ubudlelwano bakho buqinile?
Ukuqina akusho ubudlelwano obuphelele, obungenazinkinga . Azikho ubudlelwano obunjalo. Kodwa, ningakwazi yini ukukhulumisana kahle nobabili futhi nixazulule izinkinga? Niyahloniphana? Niyabelana ngemisebenzi yasekhaya kanye nemithwalo yemfanelo? Lezi yizinto ezibalulekile.
Umntwana akayona ikhambi lezinkinga phakathi kwabantu ababili. Kunalokho, uyisibusiso esiqinisa ubudlelwano obuqinile.
Ngezinye izikhathi imibhangqwana iba nokungavumelani okuncane mayelana nemali, ucansi, kanye nezinkinga zokukhulisa izingane. Kubalulekile ukuxazulula lezi zinkinga ngangokunokwenzeka ngaphambi kokuba nomntwana. Ngoba lezi zinkinga ezincane cishe zizoba zinkulu ngenxa yokucindezeleka kanye matasa okuhambisana nokuba nomntwana. Ngakho-ke, qala uqinise isisekelo sobudlelwano bakho. Uma uhlela ukuba nomntwana wedwa, cabanga ngokuba nohlelo oluqinile lokusekela lomndeni noma abangane abazokusiza.
2. Kungenzeka yini ukuthi unqume impilo engaphandle komsebenzi wakho?
Nakuba imithwalo yemfanelo kababa ikhula ngemva kokuzalwa komntwana, izinselele umama abhekana nazo zinkulu nakakhulu. Lokhu kufaka phakathi ukukhathala ngokomzimba kanye nokungakhululeki kokukhulelwa, kanye nokucindezeleka kwengqondo okuhambisana nesinqumo sokuthi uzobuyela yini emsebenzini ngemva kokubeletha noma cha. Omama abaningi bazizwa benecala, bezibuza, "Ingabe ngizoba ngongalungile enganeni yami uma ngibuyela emsebenzini?"
Ngakho-ke, ngaphambi kokukhulelwaNobabili nidinga ukuhlala phansi ndawonye nixoxe ngalokhu.
- Ingabe ukhona oyekile umsebenzi wakhe ngemva kokuthola umntwana ?
- Noma nobabili niya emsebenzini?
- Uma kunjalo, ubani ozonakekela umntwana? (Ingabe bazoluthola usizo kubazali babo? Noma bazoqasha othile? Ingabe bazomfaka enkulisa?)
Lezi izinqumo ezibucayi kakhulu, ngakho ukuhlela kusenesikhathi kungakusindisa ekucindezelekeni okukhulu kamuva.
3. Ingabe uyazi ngekhefu lokubeletha/lokuba ngubaba emsebenzini wakho?
Akuzona zonke izinhlangano eSri Lanka ezinenqubomgomo efanayo yekhefu lokubeletha/lokubeletha. Imithetho kuhulumeni kanye nemikhakha ezimele ihlukile. Kukhona futhi umehluko phakathi kwezinhlangano ezikumkhakha ozimele ofanayo. Ngakho-ke, nobabili kufanele nihlole umnyango we-HR wezinhlangano zenu ukuze nithole okwengeziwe ngalokhu.
- Zingaki izinsuku zekhefu lokubeletha ozitholayo? (zikhokhelwe/zingakhokhelwanga)
- Zingaki izinsuku zekhefu lobuzali elitholwa ngumlingani wakho?
- Uma lesi sikhathi seholide singanele, ungasifaka yini eholidini lakho lonyaka?
- Ingabe zikhona ezinye izinketho zeholide zesikhashana?
Kubaluleke kakhulu ukuqaphela lokhu kusenesikhathi bese wenza uhlelo, njengokulondoloza imali ethile ukuze ubhekane nakho uma kudingeka. Izinyanga ezimbalwa zokuqala ngemva kokuthola umntwana ziyigugu kakhulu. Izinhlelo ezinjalo zizokusiza ukuthi uchithe leso sikhathi ngokuthula nangenjabulo nomntwana wakho.
4. Ingabe ukulungele ngokwezimali?
Ungesabi ukubuza lo mbuzo. "Ukulungela ngokwezimali" akusho ukuthi kufanele ube nendlu enezitezi ezimbili, izimoto ezimbili, futhi wonke amakhadi akho esikweletu akhokhelwe. Uma ulinda kuze kwenzeke lokho, awusoze wadingeka ube nomntwana.
Kodwa-ke, kufanele ukwazi ukonga imali eyanele emalini yakho engenayo yanyanga zonke ukuze uhlangabezane nezidingo eziyisisekelo zomntwana. Kalula nje, kufanele ube nombono oqondile ngezindleko zansuku zonke zomntwana (amanabukeni, ifomula, izingubo), izindleko zezokwelapha, kanye nezindleko zokunakekela umntwana.
| Uhlobo lwezindleko | Izinto okufanele uzicabangele |
|---|---|
| Izindleko zesikhathi esisodwa (Izindleko Zesikhathi Esisodwa) | Izindleko eziyisisekelo ezifana nombhede wengane, izingubo, izinto zokugeza, kanye nenqola yengane. |
| Izindleko zanyanga zonke (Izindleko Zanyanga Zonke) | Amanabukeni, ubisi/ukudla, imali kadokotela, imithi, izinkokhelo zomnakekeli/indawo yomntwana. |
| Izindleko eziphuthumayo (Izindleko Eziphuthumayo) | Ukuba nemali encane oyigcinele izinto ezingalindelekile, uma kwenzeka kudingeka ulaliswe esibhedlela ngenxa yesimo esiphuthumayo. |
Kuvamile ukuzizwa wesaba kancane uma ucabanga ngakho konke lokhu. Kodwa khumbula, lokhu kuyinselele ebhekene nawo wonke umzali emhlabeni. Into ebaluleke kakhulu ukuthi nina nobabili nixoxe ngayo ndawonye futhi nisebenzisane ukuze nithole uhlelo.
Umlayezo Wokuya Nawe Ekhaya
- Ukuba nomntwana kuyisinqumo somuntu siqu. Ungasithathi lesi sinqumo ngokusekelwe kulokho okushiwo abanye noma ngenxa yengcindezi yomphakathi. Yenza lesi sinqumo uma sizwakala sikulungele nobabili.
- Ngaphambi kokuthatha umthwalo wemfanelo womntwana, qinisa ubuhlobo bakho. Lalelanani futhi niqondane.
- Khuluma ngokukhululekile ngomsebenzi, indlela yokuphila, kanye nezezimali. Yabelana ngamathemba nokwesaba.
- Akudingeki ukuthi konke kuphelele ngokuphelele, kodwa ngohlelo oluhle nokusekelana okuqinile, ningabhekana nanoma iyiphi inselele.
- Uma usenokungabaza noma imibuzo ngalokhu, khuluma nelungu lomndeni othembekile, umngane, noma udokotela wakho.
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