Ukuphila nobuhlungu obungapheli kunzima. Kunzima nakakhulu uma unesifo sokucindezeleka, isimo esingenza kube nzima ukusebenza kahle futhi uzizwe sengathi unesithukuthezi ngempilo yakho. Kodwa ungakhathazeki. Kunezindlela zokusiza ngazo zombili lezi zimo.
Kuyini Ubuhlungu Obungapheli?
Kalula nje, ubuhlungu obungapheli ubuhlungu obuhlala isikhathi eside kunesikhathi esithathayo ukuze inxeba liphole ngemva kwengozi noma ukugula. Lokhu kungahlala izinyanga, noma ngisho neminyaka.
Cabanga nje, umuntu unenkinga yomhlane, futhi ayibi ngcono ezinsukwini ezimbalwa, kodwa iyaqhubeka nobuhlungu iminyaka eminingi. Akakwazi ukuhlala kahle, akakwazi ukusebenza, akakwazi ngisho nokulala kahle ebusuku. Leso yisimo esinjalo.
Uma sinobuhlungu besikhathi eside kanje, kwenzeka izinguquko eziningi emzimbeni nasengqondweni yethu.
- Ama-hormone okucindezeleka aqala ukukhiqizwa ngokweqile emzimbeni.
- Amandla omzimba ayancipha , futhi uzizwa ukhathele ngaso sonke isikhathi.
- Ukuphazamiseka kwemizwa. Ngezinye izikhathi ukudabuka, ngezinye izikhathi ukuthukuthela.
- Kungase kube nobuhlungu bemisipha .
- Ikhono lokusebenza ngokwengqondo nangokomzimba liyancipha.
Ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, imizimba yethu iya ngokuya izwa ubuhlungu. Lokhu kusho ukuthi ngisho nezindawo ezazingabuhlungu ngaphambili zingaqala ukubuhlungu. Lobuhlungu bungakugcina uphapheme ebusuku, bukwenze uzizwe ukhathele usuku lonke futhi ungakwazi ukwenza lutho kahle. Konke lokhu kungakwenza uthukuthele kalula futhi kubangele izinkinga nabanye. Uma konke lokhu kuhlangana, kungaholela ekucindezelekeni.
Kwenzekani lapho ubuhlungu nokucindezeleka kuhlangana ndawonye?
Ukucindezeleka kuyinkinga evamile yempilo yengqondo kubantu abanobuhlungu obungapheli. Uma lezi zimo ezimbili zihambisana, ukwelashwa kuba nzima kakhulu.
Ucwaningo luthole ukuthi phakathi kwengxenye yesine nengxenye yabantu abavakashela udokotela bekhala ngobuhlungu empeleni bacindezelekile. Futhi cishe abantu abangama-65% abanokucindezeleka bakhala ngezinhlobo ezahlukene zobuhlungu bomzimba.
Ikakhulukazi uma ungakwazi ukwenza umsebenzi wakho ngenxa yobuhlungu, okusho ukuthi kufanele uthembele kwabanye, ingozi yokucindezeleka iphakeme kakhulu.
Ngokuvamile, uma uya kudokotela , ugxila ebuhlungwini bakho kuphela . Ukhohlwa ukukhuluma ngokudabuka kwakho nokukhungatheka. Umphumela uba ukuthi ukucindezeleka akuqashelwa futhi akwelashwa. Lokhu kubangela izinto ezifana nokungalali, ukuphelelwa yisifiso sokudla, kanye nokuntuleka kwamandla, futhi ubuhlungu buba bubi nakakhulu.
Ingabe lokhu kuwumjikelezo oxhumene?
Yebo, uma ngikhuluma iqiniso, lokhu kufana nomjikelezo. Ubuhlungu busibangela ukuba sizizwe sicindezelekile, sikhathazekile futhi sithukuthele. Ngokuvamile, lapho ubuhlungu buphela, le mizwa nayo iyanyamalala. Kodwa lapho ubuhlungu buqhubeka, ingqondo yakho ihlala icindezelekile. Ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, lokhu kucindezeleka kungaholela ezinkingeni eziningi zempilo yengqondo, okuhlanganisa nokucindezeleka.
Ake sibheke ezinye zezinkinga umuntu onalezi zimo zombili angase abhekane nazo.
| Umkhakha othintekile | Izinkinga ezingaba khona |
|---|---|
| Engqondweni/Engokomzwelo | Ukushintshashintsha kwemizwa njalo, ukucasuka, ukukhathazeka okungapheli, imicabango edidekile, ukuzethemba okuphansi, ukuqhuma njalo. |
| Okwemvelo | Ukukhathala njalo, izinkinga zokulala, ukukhuluphala noma ukwehla kwesisindo, ukuncipha komsebenzi womzimba, ukwehla kwesithakazelo socansi. |
| Impilo yomphakathi neyomndeni | Izinkinga zomndeni, ukuhlukaniswa nabantu, izinkinga emsebenzini, nezinkinga zezimali. |
Kungani lezi zimo ezimbili zihlangene kangaka?
Kunesizathu sesayensi salokhu. Kukhona izithunywa zamakhemikhali ebuchosheni bethu ezithwala imiyalezo phakathi kwezinzwa. Sizibiza ngokuthi ama-neurotransmitter . Ngokumangalisayo, kokubili ukucindezeleka kanye nobuhlungu obungapheli kuthinteka yizinhlobo ezifanayo zama-neurotransmitter kanye neminye yemizila efanayo yezinzwa ebuchosheni. Lokhu kusho ukuthi kukhona ukuxhumana kwezinto eziphilayo phakathi kwalezi ezimbili.
Futhi, umthelela ubuhlungu obunawo empilweni yakho ungabangela nokucindezeleka. Cabanga nje, awukwazi ukuzivocavoca, ukuphuma nabangani, ukulala ngokwanele, ukujabula nomndeni wakho njengoba wawusenza ngaphambili. Mhlawumbe ungalahlekelwa ngisho nomsebenzi wakho. Uma lezi zinto sezilahlekile, kuvamile ukuthi noma ubani azizwe edabukile futhi ekhungathekile. Lokhu kungaphenduka kancane kancane kube ukucindezeleka.
Uma ukucindezeleka sekuqalile, kukwenza uzizwe kakhudlwana ubuhlungu bakho. Kunciphisa ikhono lakho lokubekezelela ubuhlungu.
Kuphathwa kanjani lokhu?
Ngenxa yokuthi lezi zimo ezimbili zihlangene, ukwelapha zombili ndawonye kuphumelela kakhulu.
Imithi yokucindezeleka ingasiza kanjani ekuphatheni ubuhlungu?
Njengoba ngishilo ekuqaleni, ngenxa yokuthi ubuhlungu nokucindezeleka kunezindlela ezifanayo zemizwa kanye nama-neurotransmitter, eminye imithi yokucindezeleka inemiphumela efanayo kuzo zombili. Le mithi inganciphisa ukuqonda ubuhlungu.
Imithi emidala, njenge-amitriptyline, iyasebenza kakhulu ebuhlungu be-neuropathic. Kodwa-ke, ayisetshenziswa kabanzi ngenxa yemiphumela yayo emibi. Imithi emisha, njenge-cymbalta ne-effexor, itholakale isebenza kuzo zombili izimo ezinemiphumela emibi embalwa.
Okubaluleke kakhulu: Sebenzisa noma yimiphi yale mithi kuphela ngaphansi kweseluleko sikadokotela wakho . Ungasebenzisi yona wedwa noma ngoba othile ekutshelile.
Ukuzivocavoca kusiza kanjani?
Abantu abaningi abanezinhlungu bayesaba ukuzivocavoca. Bacabanga ukuthi, "Uma ngizivocavoca, kuzolimaza kakhulu." Kodwa empeleni, okuphambene nalokho kuyiqiniso. Uma ungazivivinyi, umzimba wakho uba buthakathaka futhi ubuhlungu bakho buyanda. Khuluma nodokotela wakho bese udala uhlelo lokuzivocavoca oluphephile olukusebenzelayo. Qala kancane. Uma uzivocavoca, amakhemikhali asebuchosheni bakho enza into efanayo neyokwenziwa ama-antidepressant. Kukwenza uzizwe ujabule futhi ukhululekile.
Ukwelashwa ngenkulumo kusiza kanjani?
Lena futhi indlela yokwelapha ebaluleke kakhulu. Ikakhulukazi, kukhona indlela ebizwa ngokuthi i-Cognitive Behavioral Therapy . Lokhu kuhilela ukuhlonza nokwenza imicabango emibi ephathelene nobuhlungu, njengokuthi "Lokhu ngeke kube ngcono," "Impilo yami isiphelile," nokuyishintsha. Lokhu kwelashwa kuyasiza kakhulu ekucindezelekeni nasekunciphiseni ukukhathazeka okubangelwa ubuhlungu.
Kungani kubalulekile ukulawula impilo yakho?
Ubuhlungu nokucindezeleka kungakwenza uzibone "njengesisulu." Ungase ucabange, "Angikwazi ukwenza lutho." Kodwa into ebaluleke kakhulu ukuyeka lowo mcabango, ucabange, "Ngizodlula kulokhu," bese ulawula impilo yakho . Sebenza nodokotela omuhle ozokusekela futhi akukhuthaze.
Umlayezo Wokuya Nawe Ekhaya
- Ubuhlungu obungapheli kanye nokucindezeleka yizimo ezimbili ezixhumene kakhulu.
- Lokhu akukhona "ekhanda lakho kuphela." Kunezizathu zangempela zebhayoloji ngemuva kwalokhu.
- Ukuze uthole imiphumela emihle kakhulu, kokubili ubuhlungu kanye nokucindezeleka kufanele kwelashwe ngasikhathi sinye.
- Khuluma nodokotela wakho bese usungula uhlelo lokwelapha oluphelele oluhlanganisa imithi, ukuzivocavoca, kanye nokwelashwa ngokukhuluma.
- Ungayeki. Ukulawula impilo yakho kabusha kuyisinyathelo sokuqala sokululama.
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