Ikhaya liyindawo ephephile nenothando kakhulu kithi sonke. Kodwa ngezinye izikhathi, kuba nokungezwani, ukungavumelani, kanye nenzondo kuleli khaya, akunjalo? Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi kuphakathi komama nengane, phakathi kwabafowabo nodadewabo, noma phakathi kwendoda nomkayo, lezi zinkinga zingabeka ingcindezi enkulu emndenini wonke. Ngakho-ke, ngezikhathi ezinjengalezi, kungaba kuhle kangakanani uma singathola usizo lokuxazulula lezi zinkinga nokubuyisela injabulo yomndeni? Yilokho ukwelashwa komndeni okuhloselwe kona.
Kalula nje, kuyini Ukwelashwa Komndeni?
Ukwelashwa Komndeni uhlobo lokwelashwa kwengqondo okwenziwa njengeqembu. Kalula nje, 'luyindlela yokwelapha yokukhuluma'. Ukugxila lapha kukuthuthukisa ubudlelwano, ukuziphatha, kanye namaphethini okuxhumana emndenini.
Uma ucabanga 'ngomndeni', ungase ucabange ngomama, ubaba, nezingane kuphela. Kodwa ku-Family Therapy, 'umndeni' ubanzi kakhulu. Ungafaka:
- Abazali nezingane
- Abafowethu nodadewethu
- Abantu abadala njengogogo nomkhulu
- Omalume nobabekazi
- Ngezinye izikhathi ngisho nabangane abaseduze kakhulu bomndeni.
Lokhu kwelashwa kuholwa umeluleki wezempilo yengqondo onelayisensi othole ukuqeqeshwa okukhethekile kulo mkhakha. Okusho ukuthi, umuntu ofana nososayensi wengqondo noma umeluleki. Babheka izinkinga zomndeni ngombono wangaphandle, ongakhethi futhi banikeza umndeni isiqondiso, imfundo, kanye nokusekelwa abakudingayo ukuze baqondane, baxhumane kangcono, futhi baxazulule izinkinga.
Kuziphi izimo lapho i-Family Therapy isisiza khona?
Kungaba nezizathu eziningi zokufuna ukwelashwa njengomndeni. Cabanga ngezimo ezinjengalezi.
- Ukuzivumelanisa nezinguquko ezintsha empilweni: Isibonelo, ukuthuthela ekhaya elisha, ingane eqala isikole, noma ilungu lomndeni eliqala ukugula okungathi sína (isib. umdlavuza) kungadinga wonke umndeni ukuthi usize ekubhekaneni nesimo.
- Izinselele ezihambisana nokuguga: Izinkinga eziphakamayo lapho kunakekelwa abazali asebekhulile emndenini, kanye nendlela yokubhekana nezimo zabo zempilo.
- Ukubhekana nosizi lapho ilungu lomndeni lishona: Ukulahlekelwa othandekayo kuthinta wonke umuntu. Lokhu kungakusiza ukuthi udlule enkambisweni yokulila ngokusekelana.
- Izinkinga zobudlelwano: Izingxabano ezivame ukuba khona phakathi kwabazali nezingane, intukuthelo nokucasuka phakathi kwabafowabo nodadewabo, kanye nezinkinga phakathi kwendoda nomkayo.
Ngaphezu kwalokho, uma ilungu lomndeni elilodwa linenkinga yempilo yengqondo, kubalulekile futhi ukufuna ukwesekwa komunye umndeni ekwelapheni. Isibonelo, uma ilungu lomndeni linenkinga ethinta ukudla ngendlela engajwayelekile, njenge-anorexia, wonke umndeni ohlanganyela ekwelashweni ndawonye ungaqinisa kakhulu ukululama kwalowo muntu.
Yiziphi izindlela ezahlukene zokwelashwa komndeni?
Ayikho indlela eyodwa yokwenza ukwelashwa komndeni. Umeluleki uzokhetha indlela yokwelapha efaneleke kakhulu ngokusekelwe ezidingweni zomndeni wakho kanye nohlobo lwenkinga. Ngezinye izikhathi, izakhi zezindlela eziningana ziyahlanganiswa futhi zisetshenziswe. Nazi ezinye zezindlela eziyinhloko.
| Uhlobo Lokwelapha | Kalula nje, kwenzekani ngalokhu? |
|---|---|
| Ukwelashwa Komndeni Okusebenzayo (FFT) | Lokhu kuwusizo ikakhulukazi emindenini enezingane ezinezinkinga zokuziphatha (njengokushesha, ukungalaleli imithetho). Kusiza ukuqonda amaphethini omndeni athonya ukuziphatha kabi kwengane futhi kuthuthukise ukuxhumana komndeni kanye nezindlela zokukhulisa izingane. |
| Ukwelulekwa Komshado/Ukwelashwa Kwabashadikazi | Isetshenziselwa izinkinga phakathi kwabantu abashadile noma abathandanayo. Inikeza isiqondiso ekuxazululeni izinkinga ezifana nezinkinga zokuxhumana, izinkinga zezimali, kanye nokungavumelani mayelana nendlela yokukhulisa izingane. |
| Ukwelashwa Komndeni Okunesu | Lena indlela yokwelapha yesikhashana. Ukugxila lapha kukudala izinguquko ezinhle endaweni yomndeni. Umeluleki usikisela izindlela namasu athile okuxazulula inkinga yomndeni. |
| Ukwelashwa Komndeni Kwesakhiwo | Le ndlela ibheka 'isakhiwo' somndeni. Okungukuthi, ubudlelwano phakathi kwamalungu omndeni, indlela amandla ahlukaniswa ngayo, kanye nendlela imithetho nemingcele ebekwa ngayo. Le ndlela isikisela ukuthi izinkinga zomndeni zingaxazululwa ngokuhlonza nokushintsha izinkinga kulesi sakhiwo. |
| Ukwelashwa Komndeni Okuhlelekile | Lapha, izindaba zomndeni azibhekwa zodwa. Zixhumene nendawo ebanzi yezenhlalo, yamasiko, neyenkolo lapho umndeni uhlala khona. Lokhu kuzama ukuqonda ukuthi ukuziphatha kwelungu elilodwa lomndeni kubathinta kanjani abanye nokuthi konke lokhu kuyingxenye yesimiso esikhulu. |
Uma ilungu lomndeni lithola ukwelashwa kwesimo sempilo yengqondo, 'imfundo yengqondo' nayo iyingxenye ebalulekile yalolu hlobo lokwelapha. Lokhu kusho ukuthi umeluleki uchazela umndeni ngokucacile ngesimo sengqondo, izimbangela zaso, ukwelashwa, kanye nesimo sengqondo.
Yiziphi ezinye izinkinga lokhu okuxazululayo?
Uhlu lwezinkinga ezingasizwa nge-Family Therapy lubanzi kakhulu.
Izinkinga empilweni yomndeni evamile
- Ubudlelwano obude phakathi kwamalungu omndeni.
- Ukucindezeleka okuqhubekayo.
- Intukuthelo engalawuleki.
- Ukungaqondi kahle okushiwo ngomunye nomunye (ukungaqondi ukuthi omunye uthini, ukulwa njalo).
- Izehlakalo ezibuhlungu ezitholwe umndeni.
- Uma ilungu lomndeni lihlushwa ukugula kwesikhathi eside (isib., `Isifo Sokuqaqamba Kwamalunga Esiningi`, `Umdlavuza`, `Isifo Sokushaywa Yisisu`), vumelanisa naleso simo.
- Isehlukaniso noma ukuwohloka kobudlelwano.
- Ukubhekana nezinguquko ezisheshayo (ukulahlekelwa umsebenzi, ukuthuthela kwenye indawo).
Uma ilungu lomndeni linenkinga yempilo yengqondo
- Izinkinga zokukhathazeka - isibonelo, i-Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD).
- Izinkinga zokudla - isib. i-Anorexia.
- Izinkinga zemizwa - isib. i-Bipolar disorder, ukucindezeleka.
- Izinkinga zobuntu - isib. Izinkinga zobuntu ezibangelwa yimingcele. I-Schizophrenia ithinta imizwa .
- Ukuluthwa izidakamizwa noma utshwala ('Inkinga yokusebenzisa izidakamizwa').
Izinkinga zokuziphatha ezinganeni
- Ukuphazamiseka kokuziphatha (ukuziphatha okulimaza abanye futhi kwephule imithetho).
- Isifo sokungathandi ukuphikiswa (ODD) (ukuziphatha okuvame ukuphikisa nokuthukuthela abantu abadala).
Ngaphezu kwalokho, imindeni enezingane ezinezimo ezifana ne-'Autism Spectrum Disorder' noma i-'Attention-Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD)' ingazuza kakhulu ekwelashweni komndeni.
Ungamthola kanjani uchwepheshe wezokwelapha umndeni omuhle?
Ukuthola umeluleki omuhle nonolwazi kungaba yinselele kancane, kodwa ungapheli amandla.
- Buza udokotela womndeni wakho: Uma ubuza udokotela wakho ojwayelekile ngalokhu, angase akwazi ukuncoma uchwepheshe omuhle.
- Buza abantu ongabathemba: Buza umngane noma isihlobo osithembayo ngalokhu.
- Sebenzisa i-inthanethi:Ulwazi lungatholakala futhi kumawebhusayithi ezikhungo ezifana neSri Lankan Psychological Association.
Qiniseka ukuthi umuntu omkhethayo unguchwepheshe ovunyelwe nguhulumeni futhi onelayisensi. Futhi, funa umuntu onolwazi ngezinkinga ezithile zomndeni wakho (isb. isehlukaniso, ukuziphatha kwengane). Ngaphambi kokukhetha umeluleki, kungumqondo omuhle ukubuza imibuzo efana nale:
- Sekuyisikhathi esingakanani unikeza lokhu kwelashwa?
- Ucabanga ukuthi iyiphi indlela yokwelapha efanele kakhulu emndenini wethu?
- Singakanani isikhathi esizodinga ukusabelwa yonke inqubo yokwelashwa?
Le nqubo yokwelashwa yenzeka kanjani?
Ukwelashwa Komndeni kuyindawo ephephile lapho imindeni ingakhuluma khona ngokukhululekile nangaphandle kokwahlulela. Ngenxa yokuthi umeluleki ubheka izinkinga zomndeni ngombono ongathathi hlangothi nowangaphandle, angasiza umndeni ukuqonda izici ezingabonakali kubo.
Umeluleki angenza izinto ezifana nalezi:
- Ilungu ngalinye lomndeni libuzwa ngamunye ngezinkinga zalo, izinselele, kanye nokulindela kwalo kulezi zindlela zokwelapha.
- Ukhuthaza wonke umuntu ukuba akhulume futhi alalele ngokucophelela lokho abanye abakushoyo.
- Ukuchazana ngamazwi nemizwa kusiza wonke umuntu ukuba aqonde omunye umuntu.
- Kukusiza uqonde ukuthi amazwi nezenzo zakho zithinta kanjani abanye.
- Ixoxa ngendlela esingasebenzisana ngayo ukudala ushintsho oluhle.
- Iphakamisa izindlela zokushintsha ukuziphatha okuyinkinga kanye namaphethini.
Ukuze lolu hlobo lokwelapha luphumelele, kubalulekile ukuthi wonke umuntu ohilelekile abe qotho, avuleleke, futhi azimisele ukwenza izinguquko ezinhle. Ukwethembana phakathi komeluleki nomndeni kuyinto ebaluleke kakhulu kulolu hambo.
Inani kanye nobude besikhathi seseshini yokwelapha kuyahlukahluka kuye ngomndeni. Ngezinye izikhathi izinkinga zingaxazululwa ngeseshini ezimbalwa nje. Ezimweni eziyinkimbinkimbi kakhulu, kungathatha izinyanga noma ngaphezulu.
Yiziphi izinzuzo ze-Family Therapy?
Ucwaningo luye lwathola nokuthi i-Family Therapy iyindlela yokwelapha ephumelela kakhulu ezinkingeni eziningi zengqondo nezingokomzwelo.
- Cishe ama-90% alabo abathola ukwelashwa babike ukuthuthuka empilweni yabo engokomzwelo.
- Abantu abangaba ngu-66% sebeze babika nokuthuthuka empilweni yabo yonke.
- Ezindabeni zabazali nengane, cishe abazali abangama-73% babike ukuthi ukuziphatha kwengane yabo sekuthuthukile.
Ngale ntuthuko, kungenzeka ukuthi usebenze kangcono emsebenzini noma ngisho nasesikoleni.
Ingabe kukhona ukungahleleki noma izingozi kulokhu?
Ukwelashwa komndeni akulona olwawo wonke umuntu. Uma ilungu elilodwa lomndeni lingabaza ukuhlanganyela, kungaholela ekwandeni kwengxabano yomndeni. Kuvamile futhi ukuzizwa ungakhululekile futhi udabuke kancane lapho ukhuluma ngezinto ezibuhlungu zesikhathi esidlule, njengokwesaba. Umeluleki omuhle angakusiza ukuthi ubhekane naleyo mizwa.
Ukuze ukwelashwa kuphumelele, kubalulekile ukuthi abahlanganyeli benze okulandelayo:
- Ukwethembeka nokuvuleleka kumeluleki.
- Ukuzibophezela ekudaleni ushintsho oluhle.
- Ukulandela uhlelo lokwelashwa oluvunyelwene ngalo.
- Ukwenza izinto ezifana nemisebenzi yasekhaya enikezwa ngumfundisi ngqo.
Kufanele ubonane nini nodokotela noma umeluleki?
Uma unomuzwa wokuthi ukungakhululeki kwakho, ukukhathazeka, noma izimpawu zokucindezeleka ziya ziba zimbi kakhulu ngesikhathi sokwelashwa, yazisa umeluleki noma udokotela wakho ngokushesha.
Okubaluleke kakhulu: Uma wena noma othile emndenini wakho enemicabango yokuzilimaza, sicela ungakugcini kuwe. Bonana nodokotela ngokushesha noma uye egumbini lezimo eziphuthumayo esibhedlela esiseduze (i-ETU). Ukuthola usizo kuyinto ebaluleke kakhulu.
Ngisho nomcabango wokukhuluma nomunye umuntu ngezinkinga zomndeni ungaba nzima kakhulu, kodwa ukuthatha leso sinyathelo kungaba yisinqumo esihle kakhulu ongasenza ukuze uthole injabulo nenhlalakahle yomndeni wakho.
Umlayezo Wokuya Nawe Ekhaya
- Ukwelashwa Komndeni kuyindlela yokwelapha ngenkulumo ehilela ukusebenza ndawonye njengomndeni nokusebenza nochwepheshe oqeqeshiwe ukuthuthukisa ubudlelwano bomndeni kanye nokuxhumana.
- Lokhu kungasiza ekutholeni izixazululo zezinkinga eziningi, njengokulwa njalo, ukungavumelani, ukucindezeleka kwengqondo, kanye nempilo yengqondo yelungu lomndeni.
- Ukuze lokhu kwelashwa kuphumelele, ukuhlanganyela okuqotho kanye nokuzinikela kwawo wonke umuntu emndenini kubalulekile.
- Uma uhlushwa izinkinga zomndeni, ungesabi ukucela usizo. Uchwepheshe oqeqeshiwe angakukhombisa indlela eya enjabulweni futhi.
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